- - the fire in my heart will burn me to the ground

Muffled lamentations escape from pale dry lips, cursing at the invisible stars in the navy blue sky, the ones supposed to spread warmth and reassurance into the bitter ones' souls.

A feminine silhouette hastily makes its path through the crowd formed in front of the arena, blocking the way to the parking lot where Becky hoped to find one and only thing : peace of mind.

In the midst of the agitation surrounding the woman who once dreamt too big, ironically feeling oppressed by the heights her determination allowed her to reach, a devastating thought keeps haunting her blurry mind :  what can you do when everything crumbles to pieces ?

They say that how you react to setbacks is what defines you, that if you let disappointment and doubt and guilt consume you, then it is exactly like setting yourself on fire and waiting until you turn to ashes.

But do you really have a choice when it is about whether or not the change you've fought for your entire life is stripped from your burnt and bleeding fingers ?

Wouldn't you rather go out in smoke, taking with you the dust of an impossible vision rather than letting others alter its purpose ?

Cluelessly wandering between old vehicles and trash disrespectfully thrown on asphalt - just like they've attempted to do with her, tossing her in a corner to let her decay in a flow of tears and fear - Becky's heartbeat races a little too fast which forces to rest for a while.

Her blood boiling and head pounding, she is left squatting in a corner of a deserted area, confused, revolted and most of all, so jaded that she might as well disappear so she would never have to hear again the sickening ideas of draining meeting sessions.

The fine mist of condensation on the cold window next to her sorrowful entity would have fascinated her on any other day, wondering how most of Mankind could simply walk right pass through the beauty of this world, raw and honest.

On any other day she would have taken a photograph of the scene that may appear so dull to others but truly was a gift sent from above in her eyes, wishing she could fix her gaze on the warm colors of the red traffic lights dancing on the car's window and never look away.

Just like she would love for the owners of the environment she is evolving in to recognize her value and worth with one simple glance instead of shifting their attention to another of their damaged toys, their tired puppets they liked to refer to as entertainers.

Entertaining exhausted entities in a wicked playground with holes and hidden mines every few steps of the way, as if adults got bored and decided to lure a bunch of lost kids in their cruel world, waiting for them to get wounded and broken until only one is left standing.

What if wrestlers were not actually meant to soothe the universe's pain by playing an inspiring act of good thriving against evil but fed off empty promises, their hopes played and stomped over by selfish higher-ups.

Any other day it would have appeared too depressing to be true for Becky, tossing to the side the possibility that innocence only prevails on corruption in fantasies, never in reality.

Yes, if it had been any other day she would have accepted her faith, her endless gratitude shining bright through her deep brown eyes and her desire to please others stronger than her undisclosed ambitions.

Except it is not and in place of a burning curiosity lighting up an orangey endearing spark in her stare, it is a dead and cold look that can be found. It is not much that Becky's heart suddenly blocked any kind of emotions, turning her into a numbed and tormented soul.

It is just that she is as far as possible from being familiar to this violent fire within, the kind that seems capable to rage forever, consuming any bit of faith once may hold on to.

Inhaling despair and exhaling remorses, the cloud formed by her cold breath drastically contrasts with the destructive blaze a simple word spoken by a senile man through gritted teeth unleashed.

A blink of an eye and she can't help but reminisce, throwing gasoline on a ferocious fire. An entire division lined up in Vince's office, eager to hear if the rumours going around would finally be the answers to their desperate prayers, offering them a prize to fight for, a championship to defend, a sign that their endless years of suffering were not in vain.

Wrinkled features moved slowly and seven women got ready to hang on his every word, eyes glistening with an unhoped favour possibly sent from above. One syllable, two letters only rolling out from his vicious tongue yet it was enough to crush their spirits, subtly implying once again that wastes of time should not be trusted with the responsability to represent the WWE.

When you take away the sole fragment of optimism one soul possesses, what is left apart from vehemence and devastation ?

A freezing breeze abruptly blows as if attempting to whisper some sense into her, to tame down the flames of anger and frustration she can't seem to control and that is when she realizes that she ran out in the cold night, only wearing a thin shirt over her shoulers and her emotions on her sleeve.

❝ I can't do this anymore. ❞ Is whispered so low that she is convinced only her can hear it, shame and low self esteem merging in one brutal emotion swallowing her whole in a matter of seconds. 

The blue of her heart matches the blue of the unforgiving skies, the same that would never come to the aid of the ones giving up on the sole reason that keep them alive : their undying passion.

Years of sacrifices, crazy plans and insane risks don't seem to make any sense to the young Irish wrestler, and instead of looking back on those times with pride, Becky starts to accept that it may had been all in vain.

Promises that never turn into more than words, rumours that fill you with an healing type of hope, the one able to make you forget about every single one of your scars if coming to life - maybe if it did, it could have saved her from the torments haunting her tired brain.

❝ Of course you can.❞ An unexpected masculine voice, firm but comforting, makes her jolt slightly as it troubles her introspection - or maybe it is the sole thing capable to put an end to her suffering ?  

A jacket twice the size of the one she had forgotten behind, too infuriated to think straight, is cautiously placed over her frozen frame, eyes refusing to shift from the ground to meet Sami's, serenity constantly laced in his gaze.

❝ He would have wanted you to fight, you know that. ❞ Becky would have prefered to cover her ears, disregarding what the people who loved her the most would think of her actions. Does she truly have a choice when her decision not only affects herself but the fate of so many people ?

Hazy flash of his silly smile and dorky ways and it is enough for her to calm down, uncapable of breaking the oath she made to him the very last time their hearts collided.

A buzzing resonates through the silent place as the light of her cellphone's screen suddenly draws her attention, immediately opening the text message at the sight of the name written upon it : "sobbing in a corner won't solve shit."

Leaning over her shoulder Sami effortlessly figures out who sent this blunt yet supposedly consoling message and his shy laugh echoes in the background ❝Still very subtle I can tell. ❞ Becky focuses on the sound his footsteps slowly fading away make as it was needless to explain that his brief presence alone meant more to her than she could ever put into words.

Giving in to a frenzy and allowing her wrath to take over means losing sight of who she really is and, as she's always sworn up and down that although she was walking on the darkest of paths she would never forget about the light she hold inside, her trembling hand instinctivaly finds its way to her chest.

Freil fingers easily turn, in her mind, into a shield protecting her pureness from the horrors that filled and keeps on staining the 21st century. Wrapping herself into a thick blissful veil of ignorance, exactly like most overlook the power of little things, Becky chose to remain blind to the villainy trying to take her down.

No matter how corrupted the heartless company she desperatly craved to change may get, how could it affect her with her eyes closed so tight ?

| e l e n a ;

What will be the consequences of yet another of Vince's empty lie ?

What does it mean for the women's division + what will be Bex final decision regarding her carreer ?

Who is this mysterious man Sami mentioned ? And what about the one who sent her the text message ?

What exactly links Bex and Sami and what is their bond all about in your opinion ?

Thanks so, so much for reading my beauts ! Feel free to leave your thoughts, opinions and suggestions in the comments, love ya xx