~"차라리 너와 함께하고 싶다"

   Taehyung sat, staring out of his window, watching the rain fall, dragging his pencil along the paper. Outside, it was grey and gloomy, and fat drops of water were turning driveways to puddles, and yards to mudslides. 

   It was disappointing. 

   Tonight, he would have been at the graduation party. With Jimin, and Sorah, and most of the other seniors that he would probably never see again. He would have been with Jeongguk. Why did things always have to go wrong? 

   He and Jeongguk were talking about the party, slowly shooting texts back and forth. It was already nearly dark. The party would be starting in less than an hour, but of course, he wouldn't get to go.

------

girlfriend>.< <33: wait 

girlfriend>.< <33: WAIT

girlfriend>.< <33: they're not gonna let you go to the party????

tae: im grounded. they're not gonna let me go anywhere. :/

girlfriend>.< <33: oh my gosh

girlfriend>.< <33: tae, im so sorry

tae: gguk, i told you it's not your fault

girlfriend>.< <33: i just really wish i could do something to help

girlfriend>.< <33: do you want me to come over tonight?

tae: no, go hang out with everyone

tae: i want you to have fun

tae: besides, i think sorah will be bummed if you're not there

girlfriend>.< <33: ...so will jimin

tae: well yeah but unfortunately we can't do anything about that

tae: send me a picture of your party fit okay? >:)

------

   There was a lull in the conversation there, and Jeongguk didn't reply for a couple of minutes. Taehyung shut off his phone and went back to drawing. He didn't draw much, because he was stuck in regretful thoughts. This was his only chance to go to a graduation party. He was obviously never going to graduate from high school again. 

   It had been about fifteen minutes before Jeongguk finally texted him again.

------

 girlfriend>.< <33: tae i feel really bad 

girlfriend>.< <33: im not going to the party without you

girlfriend>.< <33: im gonna do something stupid.

tae: ??

------

   Taehyung was still nervously chewing his fingernails, wondering what on earth he could be planning to do, when he heard the doorbell and his heart dropped. He ran. But he still wasn't there fast enough. He was only getting to the bottom of the stairs when his mother opened the door, and he found that he had never been so upset to suddenly see Jeongguk's face in before his eyes.

    Coated in rain and dripping, Jeongguk timidly raised his head.

    Taehyung's mother seemed to stare incredulously, though he couldn't see her face, before she turned back to him and he could. She never got upset at him. Not like this. It hurt so bad to see his mother so angry at him, especially for something like this. Why did she have to act like Jeongguk was the devil?

     But it got worse. Just as Jeongguk was starting to try explaining himself, the booming footsteps started. "Who is it, Hana?"

    Taehyung hid his grimace in a facepalm, knowing there was nothing he could do at this point.

    "This is the boy..." She sighed. Immediately, Taehyung could see the anger rise in his father, and unlike his mother, his father never just sent him heart-wrenchingly disappointed stares. His father didn't even look back at him. Taehyung felt like he could feel the rumble of thunder. Whether it was real thunder from the storm outside, or just the effect of his father fuming, he didn't know. All he could do was wait for lightning to strike.

   Jeongguk cleared his throat, stumbling over a slew of nervous words. "Um, I'm sorry, but I wanted to tell you that what happened was my fault so—"

    "Get out of here," Taehyung's father snapped.

    But Jeongguk kept trying, desperately. He just wouldn't give up, even when the man took agitated steps toward him. "Please, just let Taehyung go tonight— I won't even be there—"

    Taehyung's eyes widened and he was back to rushing for the door when he saw the hand rising. Once again, he was late. Even his mother was reaching out with hesitation to stop him, because she knew he was about to go too far. He cried out, "Dad, stop!" but his voice was competing with the sound of the loud slap that landed on Jeongguk's cheek. That had to have hurt.

    Jeongguk stumbled back a step or two, bringing up a hand to his reddening cheek.

    Finally, the man turned back to look at his son. "You, get upstairs!" And he turned back to the boy on the porch. "And you, leave right now, and don't come back," he demanded, voice low and grumbling.

    Jeongguk locked eyes with Taehyung for one short moment before he backed away and disappeared into the rain.  Taehyung, too, retreated and locked himself in his room before his father's rage could fall on him as well.

   Behind the closed door, he frustratedly sunk down to the floor and ran his hands through his hair in the dark. He couldn't help feeling that, no matter how much Jeongguk insisted it wasn't, all of this was his fault, from his getting grounded to Jeongguk's getting a face full of hand just now. It felt like he could still hear the echo of skin hitting skin ringing in his ears for the next minute or so- then it was replaced by a soft thunk, thunk, thunk.

   He looked up immediately, and sure enough, at the window, a breathless, sopping wet Jeongguk stared back at him, clinging to the tree branch. Taehyung ran to the window and no sooner had he thrown it open than Jeongguk and he were grabbing for each other. Taehyung got hold of his collar and forearm, and that was enough to steady the boy perched on the tree branch enough for them to stop and look at each other for just one second.

    Taehyung didn't know whether he leaned in first, or Jeongguk did, or they did it at the same time, but either way, they didn't waste another second and kissed each other somewhat desperately, just in any more unfortunate turns of events occured again and they didn't get the chance to.

    Jeongguk broke away first, panting against Taehyung's lips, wetting them with the raindrops rolling down his face. Taehyung pulled him into the room and shut the window behind him. And then he reached out for him in the dark, only really able to see about half of him with the light from the window. His hands landed on his shoulders. Jeongguk was soaked, head to toe.

    "Are you okay?" Taehyung whispered.

    To be honest, Taehyung couldn't decide if he was more happy or terrified that Jeongguk was here.

     "Doing great, thanks," Jeongguk beamed. 

    Taehyung plugged in his nightlight, and found a towel that he'd forgotten to take downstairs after his last shower, to save his floor and to dry the boy that looked currently looked like a wet puppy. With a slightly swollen cheek that seemed to have a vaguely hand-shaped mark lingering on it.

   He offered the towel and hurried to find a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for Jeongguk to change into. And once that was all taken care of and Jeongguk was in his clothes, Taehyung pulled him towards his bed and wrapped him in a hug. It was all quiet between them for quite a while, while they just sat and held onto each other tightly so that nothing could split them up for the foreseeable future.

    "I don't know what I thought that was gonna do," Jeongguk started, sheepishly, lips close to Taehyung's ear. "It was pretty dumb."

    "Yeah... But thanks for trying." Taehyung sighed, voice hushed and just above a whisper. Finally, they broke apart and laid side-by-side on the mattress. Taehyung turned onto his side and tilted Jeongguk's face toward him to get a good look at his cheek (as much as he could with only the nightlight on) . It was just starting to take on the slightest shade of purple. Taehyung grimaced. "That looks bad... I'm so sorry, Gguk."

   "It's not your fault," Jeongguk reassured, removing Taehyung's hand from his face and keeping it close to his chest, with his fingers closed around it. "Besides, it hardly even hurts." He smiled, and it seemed pretty forced, though that may have been because he was only really able to smile on one side due to the swelling.

    "You should've just gone to the party."

     "I'd rather be with you."

"I'd rather be with you."  Pure butterflies.  Were Taehyung not lying down already, he felt that he would've melted on the spot. But if Jeongguk really wanted to be with him... what would become of them?

    Would he still rather be with Taehyung in a far off future, wherever they ended up going?

    "....Ggukie? What are you going to do after graduation?"

    "Hm? Well... I don't really know yet." 

    "Do you want to go to college?"

    "Not sure. I probably should've thought about this more before now, but... I guess I've been thinking about other stuff."

     "Me too." Taehyung paused. "Would you rather stay here or move?"

    "I think... I think I'd like to move."

    Taehyung had to admit his heart sunk a little.

    "What about you?"

    "...I'm not sure I can live here anymore, with how my parents are reacting to this," Taehyung chuckled. It wasn't really funny to either of them, though. Jeongguk obviously felt bad.

   "Well, I guess we'll have to find somewhere and get out of here quick," Jeongguk mused. Taehyung perked up. Even if he was just kidding, Jeongguk was implying that Taehyung was part of his future plans. So Taehyung played along, liking to believe that such a future was plausible.

   "Right, we'll take Jimin and Sorah and skate off into the sunset," Taehyung laughed.

    "I wasn't really joking."

   "What?"

    "Do you want to leave?"

    Did he?

   Aside from his friends, the only thing he cared about in this place was his mom. Ever since he started hanging around with Jeongguk, things had changed with his mom and he wasn't sure they'd ever be the same. And he certainly didn't regret being with Jeongguk.

    Then again, the more he thought about it, he was downright angry with his mom. Angry because she didn't even try to understand him or listen. Angry because he felt like she deserted him. If that's what 'normal' was, Taehyung decided right then, he didn't want 'normal' anymore. He was tired of hiding himself from her and if she wasn't going to accept him, that was that.

    "...Yeah, I do," Taehyung finally answered.

    "Then let's get out of here after graduation." Jeongguk's hopeful eyes were sparkling in the dark.

    Could they really just up and leave?

    Taehyung gave a short, pensive huff, as if to say If only it were that easy, or How on earth are we going to do that?, but at the same time he was searching his brain for any possible way to make it work, because suddenly, he wanted that so much. To leave his ruined life here behind and find a better one with Jeongguk.

   Seeing the disbelief in Taehyung's downcast eyes, Jeongguk leaned in a little closer to whisper, "I wanna stay with you, Tae. We'll find a way," he insisted. His swollen cheek was a testament to the silent promise that he would always try.

    Taehyung closed his eyes and repeated it, the words falling slowly off his lips as though they would drop into his hands so he could hold tightly to them. "We'll find a way."

-: ✧ :-゜・．

we're almost there

maybe this book will be finished within a couple months if i don't abandon it again loll. it's just hard to keep writing when you hate the main character :') i did tae dirty why did i make him like that sidjflkdsgn,mb