FeatherWings

Fantribe by @Dengal_HeartFang

Tribe Name: FeatherWings
I don't think I've seen FeatherWings before. Cool name.

Tribe Abilities: They tiny little dragons are fast flyer, and can easily escape trouble by being able to slip into the tightest spaces. For albinos, in the moonlight, they can momentarily blind a dragon by how bright their wings can get (they're hard to look at like this, and allows them to run). They have soft soothing voices that can calm down rouge dragons, and angry animals. Thanks to their lack of back legs, they have strong wings and strong forelegs.
This is very unique and cool. However, the 'can calm down rouge dragon' part seems weird to me. Do they have magical voices, or is it just soothing? If their voice isn't magical I'd take that out, but certainly keep their ability to calm angry animals.

Queen: Queen 'Fairylight' Pixie (albino, and only royalty can be albino) (Fairylight was her mother's nickname for her, and she counts it as her second name)
Cool. I have notes on the albino thing later on.

JMA: None, live on a different continent
Makes sense. But do they live on Pantala in secret, or just another continent?

Appearance: There dragons hard mostly two colors, for example, green and blue. Halfway across their body, it swirls into different designs that vary from family to family (each swirl can show which family you're related to). They have large feather like scales that are soft and very flexible, and have strong tails. They lack back legs, but have very strong front legs that they use for climbing. Their shape varies by what the dragon eats, kind of like humans. They are mostly named after looks, colors, birds, or flower. (Ex. Pidgeon - light grey and white, Rose - light red and off green)
Nice. But you said they are two colors, where are the two different colors? Are the scales and Wing membranes one color, while other scales are the other color? Also, when you say 'halfway across their bodies it swirls into...' What is this 'it'. The names are cool tho.

Habitat: They live in a very big forest with plenty of tall trees that tower over normal dragons. Their main village is inside a massive hollow, and the palace is high above them, with a staircase up for the wounded ones who can't fly up to see the Queen, even though she mostly stays down. Since Queen Pixie's reign, there was another palace built on the ground.
Cool then. This is unique.

Other: Only royalty, as I said, can be albino.
This wouldn't work. I did some research on Albinism(being albino) and it's kind of confusing? Anyone can be albino, it's a genetic mutation. Descendants of albinos are more likely to be albinos, but ANYONE can be albino. I also learned that albinos usually suffer from other conditions, such a vision loss. So I'd take this out or do more research on the subject.

Okee lets take a look.

I rate FeatherWings as 7/10.

Why?

—slight lack of description in appearance
—Abilities without explanation(Rogue dragon thing)
—Albino thing

Adjust these things and you'll be 10/10! And again, if you're super attached to something and you don't wanna get rid of it, don't. I won't force you to do anything and I completely understand. This is my personal opinion and opinions differ.

Anyway, thank you for letting me rate your fantribe!

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top