Starpaw sat inside the medicine den, quietly sorting herbs into piles. She cast a glance at the entrance of the den. Silverberry had gone to collect horsetail, and though Starpaw usually enjoyed her mentors company, she felt glad to have the den to herself. With everything that had happened recently, she needed time alone with her thoughts.

It had been several days since Icetail had gone mad and killed two of his newborn kits. To Starpaw's dismay, very few cats attended Icetail's vigil. Thunderjolt, Darkstorm, and several other warriors insisted that Icetail was a murderer who didn't deserve any respect, even in death. Very few cats forgave him for his crime. 

Starpaw had been one of the only cats to spend the night by Icetail's body, along with Silverberry, Gladestar, and Firetail. She knew that Icetail had been a good cat. She had seen him as a loving mate to Willowtail, and a loyal, skilled warrior. He never would have killed anyone, let alone his own kits if he'd been in the right state of mind.

The clan was still very much in shock over the tragedy, but no more than Willowtail. The loss of her kits and mate had deeply effected her. She was often seen shaking in her nest, keeping Thistlekit close to her as though afraid that something horrible would take him from her too. Silverberry and Starpaw had given her thyme multiple times, yet they couldn't tell if it was helping her or not.

"No herb can heal a broken heart," Silverberry had told Starpaw quietly. "Only time can do that for us."

I've never felt so... sad. Starpaw thought as she swept some poppy seeds into a neat little pile, shaking remaining seeds from her pads. First Dewpaw, and now this... Why are you doing this, StarClan?

She heard pawsteps and turned to see Silverberry entering the den, carrying several stalks of horsetail in her mouth. She dipped her head to her apprentice as she set them down. "Hello, Starpaw." She hesitated. "Would you please check on Willowtail while I see the elders?"

"Alright." Starpaw was glad that her mentor hadn't mentioned Icetail and how she believed that Starpaw had foreseen his madness since the day it had happened. I hope she doesn't still think that StarClan told me about it... How could she think that I would hide something so important?

She padded past Silverberry and headed out into the clearing. She heard an irritated hiss and looked across the camp in alarm. Jaggedear was standing in front of Monarchwing, his tail lashing back and forth. He was joined by Soakedears and Scorchpaw, who looked uneasy.

"This is the third time now!" Jaggedear was exclaiming to the clan deputy, his tone edged with frustration. "Tornadopaw just disappears, then returns late at night before I can even train him."

Scorchpaw nodded, his eyes fixed on his paws. "He's hardly around anymore. He's never even in his nest when I wake up," He admitted quietly. "He smells strange now, too."

The clan deputy was looking at the cats thoughtfully. "He is your apprentice, Jaggedear," She pointed out. "You should know where he is at all times."

The tabby warrior let out a snort. "My job is to train an apprentice, not keep a curious kit in line!"

"He's right, Monarchwing," Soakedears hesitantly put in. "I have to admit, I've never seen an apprentice like Tornadopaw. He doesn't listen to any cat. It's not Jaggedear's fault."

Monarchwing let out a sigh. "I suppose you're right. Jaggedear, once he returns to camp, the two of us will have a talk with him."

Where could Tornadopaw be going? Starpaw wondered as she continued across the clearing to the nursery. Scorchpaw is right. He's acting like a totally different cat. As she slipped into the den, she heard Blazinglight's meow.

"You need to eat, Willowtail." Her brother was crouched beside the queen, nudging a rabbit toward her. She didn't move and remained curled up in her nest tightly around Thistlekit, who was squeaking and twisting to free himself from her grasp.

She's going to accidentally smother him! Starpaw shot forward and gasped. "Willowtail, you need to-"

The light gray tabby queen glared at her sharply and let out a hiss, her eyes round with fear and defiance. As Starpaw stepped back in shock, Willowtail's fur flattened, guilt flooding over her expression. "Starpaw, I'm sorry! I..."

"It's alright," She responded gently, cautiously padding close to her. "You're afraid of losing Thistlekit, so you're extra protective of him right now. You can't help it."

Willowtail let out a sigh and rested her chin on her paws. "I don't suppose you have an herb for that, do you?"

"I'm afraid not." Starpaw blinked sympathetically.  Blazinglight was sitting beside Willowtail, his yellow eyes filled with concern. Ever since the tragedy, Starpaw's brother had tried to comfort the distressed queen. Starpaw couldn't see that he was getting anywhere, but admired her brother's empathy and will to help her through her loss.

Her attention flicked down to Thistlekit, who was trapped behind his mother's tail. "May I check on Thistlekit?" she prompted gently.

The striped she-cat's blue eyes filled with unease as she looked down at her kit. Beside her, Blazinglight gave her head a reassuring lick. "Nothing is going to happen to Thistlekit, I promise. You can trust me and Starpaw."

"I-I know, and I do trust you, but..." Willowtail let out a distressed sigh, shuddering. "I just can't shake the feeling..." She slowly uncurled her tail, and Thistlekit stumbled forward, looking startled and glad to be free to move. "Please be careful with him!" She begged.

"I will," Starpaw promised and crouched in front of Thistlekit, gently pulling him toward her. He looked like a healthy kit. His eyes were still shut tight, and he let out a squeak of protest as she sniffed at his soft kit fur. His pelt was nearly all white like his father's, however his tail was striped gray like Willowpelt's, as well as some markings on his head.

Willowtail's ears pricked up in alarm at Thistlekit's squeak, but Blazinglight gently rested his paw over hers. "He's alright," He promised, then nudged the rabbit closer to her. "Why don't you eat while Starpaw looks at him?"

The queen hesitated uncertainly before slowly taking a small bite out of the rabbit. Starpaw continued studying Thistlekit until she felt certain that he was in good health. "He's a very healthy kit," She told Willowtail as she gently nudged him toward her. "Don't worry, he'll be alright."

Willowtail stared down at her son as he stumbled into their nest and curled up his tiny body against her, purring softly. "He's all I have left..." She murmured, her voice dry with grief.

Before Starpaw could respond, Blazinglight spoke. "You won't lose Thistlekit," He promised softly. "All of WindClan is here to stop anything from even getting into the camp. I'll even stay here in the nursery if you want, to help you protect him."

Willowtail lifted her tired blue eyes to him. "You would do that?" She asked in surprise.

"Of course," He told her. "If it makes you feel like he's safer."

She was quiet for a moment, as though slowly processing his offer. "Thank you, Blazinglight," She meowed quietly. He settled beside her, and the two cats began sharing the rest of the rabbit.

A blind rabbit could see how much he cares about her. Starpaw thought, mildly amused, but also quite proud of her brother. He loves her. I'm sure that he can help Willowtail more than any herb can. She felt a pang of envy as she watched them side by side, sharing prey. I'll never be able to do that with Dewpaw.

***

The sun was setting beyond the hills of the moor. Starpaw padded slowly and aimlessly through the thick grass, looking downward. She wasn't sure what she was doing here. She just knew that she had needed to get away from the camp for a while, to clear her head about Icetail's madness and her feelings for Dewpaw.

It's all wrong... She thought miserably. Everything is wrong. She raised her head to the sky where the first stars of silverpelt twinkled faintly. "Why did you have to take Icetail, Graykit, and Polarkit?" She whispered sadly. "Why didn't you warn me at the moonstone? We could have prepared. Icetail should have been a great father, and those kits should have lived to become warriors."

The stars gleamed down at her silently, and Starpaw let out a sigh. "Why didn't you warn me about Dewpaw?" She murmured, her heart aching as she spoke his name. "I'm a medicine cat. I'm not supposed to fall in-"

"Starpaw?"

She nearly jumped out of her fur and turned her head sharply, her fur bristling in shock. Several fox lengths away stood Dewpaw himself, looking startled. She realized with a start that she'd ventured right up to the ShadowClan border. How is this possible? My paws subconsciously took me straight to him! She stared at him, not knowing what to say. After a moment, she slowly stepped toward him.

"Err sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Dewpaw shuffled his paws awkwardly as she paused a little ways away from him. His yellow eyes were filled with uncertainty and sadness, and with a rush of guilt, she remembered that they hadn't spoken since that night at the moonstone when she'd rejected him and run off. "How are you?" He asked hesitantly.

Starpaw hesitated as she stared at him. Every muscle in her body and hair on her pelt longed to run to him and nuzzle him as she told him how sorry she was for rejecting him at the moonstone. She wanted to confide in him about her feelings, Icetail's madness, everything that was troubling her. But I can't! She thought miserably. I can't have a mate! I must stay loyal to StarClan, to the warrior code, to my own clan!

"I-I'm alright," She lied, the words being dragged out of her, her chest aching as she kept in the truthful things she really wanted to say. 

Dewpaw looked as though he didn't believe her. He knows me too well. After a moment, he responded quietly. "Is all well in WindClan?"

For a long moment, Starpaw didn't know how to respond to that. "Yes." She said eventually. Shuffling her paws, she added hesitantly, "Willowtail had kits." I'm not going to tell him what happened afterwards though. I don't want to talk about it.

"That's great!" He brightened a little, but the awkwardness between them remained like a thick stream of fog. "Poisonedsap had her kits last night. Their names are Stonekit and Swiftkit." He paused. "Poppywing's are due any day now."

Starpaw nodded quietly. "That's good."

"Yeah." 

It grew silent between them, neither cat seeming to know what to say next. Starpaw flicked her gaze to Dewpaw's, feeling a pang of guilt when she saw the sadness in his eyes. I'm sorry, Dewpaw... I wish things could be different. 

Ignoring the longing tugging at her heart, she gave herself a shake. "I need to get back to camp," She rasped, hoping he couldn't detect the pain in her voice. "Goodbye, Dewpaw."

"Goodbye..." He stared at her with sorrowful eyes, and Starpaw forced herself to turn and begin heading back up the hill toward the camp. She didn't look back to see if he was watching her. She couldn't look back.

When she felt sure that she was out of his sight, she shut her eyes and let out a sigh. Oh, StarClan, help me forget about him. This is tearing me apart!

***

A couple days later, Starpaw and Silverberry headed through the dark moorland under the quarter moon. The dark silhouette of highstones outlined against the starry night sky in the distance. 

Neither cat spoke for a long time. Starpaw couldn't help but feel nervous about seeing Dewpaw. What am I going to say to him? I can't exactly avoid him. We're both medicine cats. We see each other more often than any cats from different clans!

She pushed him to the back of her mind and began thinking about what she was going to the moonstone for. It's not for Dewpaw. It's to speak with StarClan. I suppose I'll see Sunripple... She let out a sigh. Great StarClan, there are problems everywhere I look. But maybe I won't see him. Maybe I'll see Icetail and the kits.

An uneasy thought struck her suddenly. Icetail killed two kits... His own kits. Would StarClan allow him to join their ranks? She looked aside at her mentor. "Silverberry?"

"Yes?" The silver she-cat turned her head toward her as they headed over a grassy slope.

Starpaw hesitated. "Do you think Icetail is in StarClan?" She asked quietly. "After... After what he did?" The idea of one of her clanmates being destined to walk the dark forest split her heart in two.

She grew worried when Silverberry didn't respond right away. Just when she thought her mentor wouldn't say anything at all, she spoke. "I don't know," She admitted, her voice edged with sadness. "StarClan will have judged him. I suppose we'll find out tonight."

It was quiet the rest of the way to highstones. When they neared the tunnel, they saw the other medicine cats up ahead. Her stomach churned as she saw Dewpaw sitting beside Hawkfeather. 

When they reached the others, Spicewhisker purred a greeting, and Otterpelt dipped her head. "It's good to see you, Silverberry, Starpaw."

"How are you?" Silverberry purred, and Starpaw awkwardly stepped to her side. She looked up at the others and tensed, her heart skipping a beat when she caught Dewpaw's eye. She immediately dropped her gaze.

Ryeheart arched his back and stood up. "Let's go," He meowed, waving his tail. "StarClan awaits."

The medicine cats began filing into the tunnel, and Starpaw was glad to be one of the last cats to go, far from Dewpaw. As they stepped into the cave, she felt a warm rush of comfort at the sight of the glowing moonstone. She drew in a deep breath of cool air and exhaled softly. Everything feels alright here. 

As the cats headed for their usual sleeping spots around the moonstone, Hawkfeather stood in front of the stone, turning to his apprentice. "Before we begin, I'd like to hold Dewpaw's medicine cat ceremony." He announced, his voice echoing off the walls of the cave.

Starpaw blinked in surprise. Dewpaw has finished his training? That's great! Around them, the other cats purred.

"What?" Dewpaw let out a gasp, clearly unaware of his mentor's plan. "Really? I'm ready?" His yellow eyes lit with excitement.

Hawkfeather sat down in front of him and nodded, his yellow eyes gleaming with pride. "You're more than ready."

As the other medicine cats moved closer to Dewpaw, Hawkfeather began. I, Hawkfeather, medicine cat of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your help he will serve his Clan for many moons."

The young spotted gray tom straightened, his eyes shining with pride and excitement as he took in every word. 

"Dewpaw, do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?" Hawkfeather asked.

"I do." Dewpaw meowed determinedly.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your true name as a medicine cat." Hawkfeather paused as he studied his apprentice. "Dewpaw, from this moment you will be known as Dewstorm. StarClan honors your empathy and devotion, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ShadowClan."

As tradition, Hawkfeather stepped forward and rested his chin on the young tom's head, and Dewstorm licked his shoulder in return.

"Dewstorm! Dewstorm!" The other medicine cats called out his name, their meows echoing clearly off the walls of the cave.

"Dewstorm!" Starpaw joined in happily, feeling ready to burst with pride and happiness for him. She found herself unable to take her eyes off of him. He's a full medicine cat now. He's earned it more than any cat.

When Hawkfeather stepped back, the newest medicine cat raised his head to his former mentor, purring loudly. He began to look around happily at the others as they cheered his name. When his gaze reached Starpaw's, the joy died from his eyes, replaced with sorrow and longing. 

Her spirits immediately sunk, and she looked away reluctantly. He should know we can't do this. She thought. He just took the medicine cat oath. He must put his clan first, just like I must.

"Congratulations, Dewstorm," Spicewhisker purred. "You'll make a great medicine cat."

Dewstorm blinked as he forced his gaze away from Starpaw. "Thank you," He said quietly.

Hawkfeather gave him a friendly flick on the shoulder with his tail. "Let's share tongues with StarClan. Stormstar and Silverblossom will be very proud of you."

The light of happiness returned to Dewstorm's eyes as he crouched by the moonstone, and the others did the same. 

Starpaw stared at Dewstorm for a moment as he closed his eyes and touched his nose to the stone. There's so much I want to say to him, but it would be wrong to. It would just hurt him more anyway. She closed her eyes, her heart aching as she rested her nose against the moonstone.

When she opened her eyes, the air around her warmed, and she found herself in the familiar hunting grounds of StarClan. She slowly rose to her paws, looking around uncertainly for Dreamwhisper, Weaselnose, or Sunripple. She found herself relieved that none of them were in sight.

I'd rather not speak with them right now. She thought with a flash of guilt. She moved her gaze across the starry forest surrounding her. I need to know if he's here... "Icetail?" She called hesitantly, padding forward through the grass. "Icetail, are you here?"

A golden spotted cat raced out of the bushes in pursuit of a mouse, startling her. As he noticed her, he stopped, his pelt speckled with starlight. "Oh, hello, Starpaw!"

"Hivepelt!" She recognized the cat who had been Silverberry's mentor. "It's good to see you." She politely touched noses with him before adding nervously. "Hivepelt, you know about Icetail..?"

The StarClan cat's amber eyes grew solemn. "Yes, I know what happened."

Starpaw grew uneasy, almost afraid of the answer to her question. "Is he... In the dark forest?" She asked quietly. 

To her relief, Hivepelt shook his broad head. "No, of course not. His actions were not driven by his true spirit. It was something beyond his control." He paused. "Would you like to see him?" He turned away, and Starpaw followed him through the starlit forest. Eventually, they reached a row of bushes, and he nodded past them into a small grassy clearing. What she saw in it made her heart ache. 

Icetail was laying on his back in the thick, starry grass, purring and laughing as Polarkit and Graykit climbed and pounced about him playfully. "Okay, you win!" He chuckled, gently pushing them off and rolling onto his stomach.

"We always do!" Graykit boasted as he pounced on Icetail's shoulders, his short fluffy tail high. "We're the best!"

Polarkit stared at her father eagerly. "This time I'll be the fox!"

There was something unsettling, yet heartwarming about the scene before her. The cat who had gone mad and killed his kits was now playing with them as though nothing had ever happened. In StarClan, they were a family, and they were happy. Starpaw stared at them warmly.

"Starpaw?" Hivepelt looked at her. "There's someone who wants to speak with you before you wake up." Without another word, he began padding through the trees, and Starpaw cast a last glance at Icetail and the kits before following.

The number of trees lessened as they continued, and Starpaw's eyes widened. "Wow..." She breathed.

Up ahead was a river like none she had seen before. The water was clear and blue, each ripple shimmering with starlight. Silver stepping stones peered above the surface of the water. A sparkling bed of reeds lined each side of the river.

"I've never been to this part of StarClan before!" She whispered. "It's beautiful!"

Hivepelt dipped his head. "He'll be here any moment. Take care, Starpaw." He turned away before she could say anything.

Puzzled, Starpaw sat down in the soft grass, curling her fluffy tail around her. This is different... Who could it be? She stared across the river. 

Just then, a white tom stepped out from the reeds, his fur glittering with starlight. He neatly leaped across the stepping stones, and Starpaw rose to her paws when he reached her side of the river.

The white tom looked at her with shining blue eyes. "Hello," He purred a greeting. "Last time I saw you, you were just a kit. And now you're nearly a full medicine cat. You must be proud."

Starpaw blinked at the tom, studying him. "T-thank you, but I don't believe we've met..." She picked up the scent of RiverClan. How would I know a RiverClan cat?

The StarClan warrior dipped his head. "You were only a tiny kit. You probably didn't even notice me." His eyes were friendly. "My name is Iceslide."

"Iceslide?" Starpaw's heart skipped a beat at the name, and she stared at him in amazement. "You're the RiverClan warrior who fought Bone Shred!" Her voice lowered with sadness. "You gave your life for the clans."

The white tom lowered his head. "That's right. But I made a huge mistake that cost the lives of many cats. If I had stayed loyal to my clan, so much loss and pain could have been avoided."

Starpaw understood immediately. "You're saying I need to forget about Dewstorm and stay loyal to WindClan," She murmured. He's right. I know it's right.

"No, Starpaw." Iceslide shook his head. "I'll give you the advice that very few cats would give. But I believe in it, and I feel that it will put you on the path that StarClan needs you to follow." His icy blue eyes were fixed on her. "Love is stronger than anything, Starpaw. There is no wrong in it as long as you know where your responsibilities lie. That was my mistake."

She stared at the StarClan warrior as he went on. "You love Dewstorm, and he loves you," His voice grew firm. "No warrior code should get in the way of that. Don't keep your feelings hidden, Starpaw. That's no way to live. As long as you always put your clan first, love is harmless."

The next thing she knew, she was back at the moonstone. She blinked open her eyes and slowly sat up, feeling cold stone under her paws instead of the soft, warm grass of StarClan. She looked around and saw the other cats awakening, stretching and rising to their paws.

"See you at the gathering, Spicewhisker." Hawkfeather dipped his head respectfully, and beyond him, Otterpelt was speaking with Silverberry.

Love is stronger than anything, Starpaw. There is no wrong in it as long as you know where your responsibilities lie. Starpaw was stunned as she processed Iceslide's words. StarClan wants me to see Dewstorm... Iceslide thinks it's the right path for me. Surely that means...?

She looked across the cave and saw Dewstorm speaking with Hawkfeather. I need to talk to him. She decided. I need to tell him.

The other medicine cats began heading out the tunnel, and Silverberry looked over her shoulder. "Starpaw, we're leaving now."

"I'd like to speak to Dewstorm first," Starpaw meowed, surprised at how clearly and confidently she spoke. As Silverberry's eyes flashed with confusion, she quickly added, "I want to ask about Poisonedsap's kits."

Beyond her, Dewstorm stared back at Starpaw, looking surprised, but he seemed to understand quickly. "Yes, I was going to tell you about them," He meowed, looking at Silverberry. "You go on ahead. We won't keep you waiting."

Silverberry hesitated. "Alright." She looked at Starpaw worriedly. "Be careful crossing the thunderpath on your way back," She urged, then padded out of the cave after Hawkfeather.

As the last of the other medicine cats left, a silence followed. It was just she and Dewstorm now. The ShadowClan medicine cat hesitantly padded over, his fur silver under the light of the moonstone, and she stepped forward to meet him. "Starpaw, I-"

Before he could finish, Starpaw pushed her head forward into his thick gray neck fur. Dewstorm started in surprise, then a purr rumbled in his throat as he rested his head against her neck. She felt a rush of satisfaction and joy as she nuzzled him, something she'd been longing to do for so long. 

After a long moment, she stepped back and stared at him numbly. "I'm so sorry," She murmured. "I was afraid of what StarClan would think. But this is the path that we're meant to follow. I know that now." She thought of Iceslide's words. "As long as we're loyal to our clans, love is harmless."

Dewstorm stared back at her, his yellow eyes filled with hope. "What are you saying?" He whispered.

She gazed at him warmly, her heart pounding rapidly in a mixture of fear and excitement. "I love you, Dewstorm," She meowed softly. "And I need you. We will both be great medicine cats for our clans. We can have both, as long as we're careful and remember where our loyalties lay."

The ShadowClan medicine cat gazed at her happily. "You're right," He murmured and leaned forward to lick her head. "If you say that StarClan wants us to be together, then I believe you. I love you." 

Starpaw could hardly contain her happiness as they nuzzled each other under the light of the moonstone. For the first time in moons, everything felt right. No one else has to know about me and Dewstorm. She thought. We aren't doing any harm. We'll be the greatest medicine cats in all the clans, and we'll do it together, by the will of StarClan. Iceslide believes that this is our destiny. And any destiny with Dewstorm is one that I want.