Starpaw awoke to sunlight shining through the roof of the gorse den, leaking onto the ground in pale glowing dapples. She stretched out her front paws and yawned softly before climbing out of her nest. 

"You slept a long time. It's nearly sunhigh," Silverberry spoke, and Starpaw saw her mentor sitting a little ways away from her, organizing herbs. She didn't look up from them as she worked.

Feeling a rush of guilt, she quickly padded over, blinking away sleep. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She meowed, her fur hot with embarrassment. "Did you need me for something?"

Silverberry shook her head as she swept loose catmint leaves into a pile. "Whitefrost was complaining about a bellyache, but I gave her some watermint." She paused and turned to face Starpaw, her green eyes inquisitive. "Why are you so tired? You've been like this for a long time now."

Starpaw hesitated. It had been two moons since she and Dewpaw had spent part of the night under the thunderpath. Ever since, they had been meeting every few nights, sometimes two nights in a row. They would exchange clan news, joke around, race to the thunderpath, and sometimes just lay in the grass and look up at the stars of silverpelt. They had a lot of fun together, and she couldn't deny that he felt like her very best friend. There was no cat in WindClan quite like him, not even her siblings made her feel quite as happy as Dewpaw did.

Few cats her age understood what it was like to be a medicine cat apprentice. Because Dewpaw was one as well, he was easy to get along with and understood everything she would tell him about herbs and StarClan. Talking to Silverberry about these things wasn't quite the same. She was an older cat, and being her mentor was a bit different from being a friend. Starpaw admired and had great respect for Silverberry, but the connection wasn't the same.

Though Starpaw saw nothing wrong with meeting a fellow medicine cat, she decided not to tell Silverberry. What if she disapproves and stops me from meeting with him? "I-I've been having trouble sleeping lately," She lied, hoping she sounded convincing. "Remembering all the herbs and remedies is difficult, and I can't help but try to memorize them when I close my eyes. It keeps me awake at night."

Silverberry's green eyes grew soft. "Starpaw, you're a great medicine cat apprentice, and you already know your herbs very well. You have nothing to worry about."

"Thank you." Starpaw awkwardly shuffled her paws, unsure of what to say to change the subject. "I-"

"Silverberry!" An alarmed yowl sounded from the clearing. The medicine cat immediately abandoned the catmint pile and hurried out of the den, Starpaw on her tail.

Several cats were by the gorse tunnel, murmuring to one another anxiously. The medicine cats pushed their way through the crowd and saw Jaggedear and Soakedears with their apprentices, Tornadopaw and Scorchpaw. Starpaw gasped. Both warriors had minor wounds, and Scorchpaw looked unharmed. But Tornadopaw had long slashes across his shoulder and muzzle, and he limped on his right paw.

"What happened?" Silverberry demanded as she crouched by Tornadopaw, and the apprentice staggered, dripping blood onto the sandy ground. Scorchpaw watched him anxiously.

"We were having a training session," Jaggedear explained as he licked a cut in his foreleg. "Soakedears picked up the scent of fox, so we told the apprentices we would go back to camp and report it." He shot a glare at his apprentice. "But Tornadopaw decided that he could handle it all on his own and ran off."

Soakedears sat down and snorted. "He's lucky we got there before he got himself killed, taking on a fox on his own like that!"

"It was just a stupid fox!" Tornadopaw hissed, clearly enraged by his failure. "I could have-"

Jaggedear let out a hiss. "Save it. You disobeyed us and you were foolish. You need to learn how a warrior is supposed to behave." He lashed his striped tail.

Tornadopaw growled, and Silverberry gently nudged him. "Come into my den, I'll have a look at you."

The apprentice grunted and reluctantly allowed himself to lean on her as she led him to the medicine den. Scorchpaw stared after his brother, his front paw raised slightly. 

Starpaw noticed blood on his black and ginger fur and sniffed his flank. "Are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

"What?" Scorchpaw blinked out of his thoughts. "I'm fine." His amber eyes were filled with worry. "Tornadopaw will be okay, won't he?"

"Yes, he'll be fine," Starpaw reassured him. "They aren't serious injuries." She turned and started following Silverberry. "You can come with us if you'd like." She was aware of Scorchpaw following her as she padded into the medicine den.

By the side of the den, Tornadopaw slumped into a nest of moss, wincing as Silverberry began to press cobwebs to his wounds. "That hurts!" He spat.

"I know, but it'll hurt a lot more if I don't clean it out," Silverberry told him as Starpaw and Scorchpaw sat near her, looking down at the injured apprentice.

Tornadopaw's black and gray tail lashed as he let her treat him. "A bit of pain is good," He grumbled. "It's how a cat learns."

How can he say that? Starpaw was startled. She looked aside at Scorchpaw, but he had his gaze fixed on his paws, seeming uncomfortable. Silverberry said nothing as she continued pressing cobwebs to his bleeding cuts.

"Tornadopaw?" Driftrunner poked his head into the den, sounding alarmed. Starpaw remembered that he was Tornadopaw's father. "Is he okay?"

"Leave me alone!" The apprentice hissed, and his father stared at him for a moment before retreating.

Tornadopaw was never a very kind cat, but this is a bit much. Starpaw thought. What's making him so upset?

Silverberry sat up when she finished. "You'll be alright," She told him. "Just rest and let your wounds heal." The apprentice grumbled to himself and looked away from her.

Scorchpaw let out a sigh and turned away, leaving the den. With a last glance at Tornadopaw, Starpaw followed him. "Scorchpaw?" She meowed, and he turned to her. "What's going on with your brother?"

After a moment of hesitation, Scorchpaw responded. "He's been acting like this for a while now," He admitted. "I don't know what started it, but he seems to hate everyone." He paused for a long moment, then lowered his voice. "He's said things like, the clans shouldn't even exist."

"What?" Starpaw stared at him in disbelief. "You must have heard wrong."

Scorchpaw shook his head. "I know what I heard." He looked toward the medicine den sadly. "I miss my brother. I'm not sure who that cat is anymore."

***

A few days passed. A quarter moon shone in the night sky. Starpaw paced outside the medicine den, her tail waving excitedly. Tonight the medicine cats would meet at the moonstone. I haven't seen Dewpaw in days! I wonder how he is?

Silverberry stepped out of the den, her eyes flashing with amusement when she saw her. "You're excited," She commented as Starpaw stopped pacing and turned to her. "Why? You've been to the moonstone plenty of times."

"Yes- well, that doesn't change how amazing it is," Starpaw meowed quickly. "How could anyone get tired of the moonstone and meeting with StarClan?"

To her relief, Silverberry didn't question her any further, and it was relatively quiet as they made the journey to highstones. When they reached the entrance to the tunnel, the other medicine cats were already waiting. Starpaw perked up when she saw Dewpaw sitting beside Hawkfeather. The spotted apprentice waved his tail at her.

"Are we ready?" Spicewhisker prompted, and the medicine cats padded into the tunnel. When they reached the cave, their fur became pale under the light of the moonstone. 

Starpaw padded up to Dewpaw and purred a greeting. "Hello! How are you?"

He hesitated. "Well..."

"ShadowClan could be better," Hawkfeather interrupted, and the other medicine cats looked at him in surprise. "That kit, Deserve, who killed Snakekit? He's older now, and he's come back," He said grimly. "He seems to be out for more blood. Several days ago, he killed Sunflower."

There were gasps from the other medicine cats, and Ryeheart's fur bristled. "Is he after the other clans as well?"

Hawkfeather shook his head. "I don't know if he even knows the other clans exist. Besides, I think he's only angry with ShadowClan."

"Poor Sunflower," Spicewhisker shook his head sadly. "After she took him in and lost her son. She hunts safely with StarClan now."

Otterpelt nodded quietly. "I hope that Deserve won't cause you any more trouble."

"Yes." Hawkfeather hesitated. "There is good news. Poisonedsap is expecting kits."

Otterpelt tilted her head. "Poisonedsap? She's the rogue who joined you after Bone Shred was killed, right?"

"That's right." Hawkfeather nodded. "She's started settling into clan life quite well. Maplefur is very proud. He can't wait to be a father."

Beside him, Silverberry nodded, her eyes warm. "I'm glad to hear it. Howlstorm and Dandeliontail were right. Not every rogue was a bad cat."

The medicine cats began to spread out around the moonstone. Starpaw crouched in her usual spot and turned, surprised to see Dewpaw close to her side, gazing at her. "What?" She purred in amusement.

"Err nothing." Dewpaw looked away in embarrassment. 

What was that about? Starpaw wondered. She looked away from him and closed her eyes as she touched her nose to the moonstone. After a few moments, the darkness faded away, and she found herself in StarClan.

She stood and let out a purr, relishing in the feeling of warmth and the soft grass under her paws. 

"Hello, Starpaw."

She heard the soft voice from behind her and turned to face the cat it belonged to. Her heart skipped a beat when she found herself face to face with Sunripple. The golden and yellow tom gazed at her with glowing yellow eyes, full of fondness. 

"H-hello." Starpaw shifted her paws awkwardly, unable to meet his gaze. I don't know what to think of him...

Sunripple's eyes clouded over. "You're uncomfortable around me. That's alright, I can go if you want." He hesitated. "Would you rather see Weaselnose?"

She didn't know how to respond. "No... I mean, I..." She looked down. I don't really want to see either of them... I have a real father I never knew, and a father that I thought I knew, who wasn't really my father. Which is better?

"Starpaw?"

She was startled when she was awoken, her eyes snapping open as she found herself on the cold floor of the cave again. She staggered to her paws and turned to see Dewpaw standing in front of her. His paw was raised, and she realized that he had woken her.

"Dewpaw?" She blinked and looked around. The other medicine cats were still asleep, and would be for a while yet. "What's going on?"

The ShadowClan apprentice ducked his head. "I'm sorry for waking you up," He whispered. "But I... I really wanted to talk to you when the others weren't around, and I thought this would be a good chance." He turned away and headed for the back of the cave.

Starpaw blinked and followed him, puzzled. What is this about? Did something happen in his dream? They sat facing each other near the wall of the cave, and Starpaw wrapped her tail around her.

"Starpaw, I..." Dewpaw hesitated, his ears flattening as he looked down.

She looked at him expectantly, puzzled as she waited. When he continued to hesitate, she blinked at him. "Go on." She prompted gently. "You can tell me anything, you know." 

He raised his eyes to her and swallowed before he murmured, "Starpaw, you're a really great cat, and you make me really happy. I... I've started thinking of you as more than a friend." His voice shook as he spoke. "I'm in love with you."

What? Starpaw stared at him, shock bolting through her nerves like lightning. He loves me? With a start, she realized for the first time that Dewpaw might mean more to her than a friend. She thought about him constantly and enjoyed spending time with him. 

"Dewpaw, I..." She trailed off as reality sunk in, overtaking the joy filling her heart. Oh no... No! She looked away from him, her heart pounding in alarm.

He stared at her worriedly. "W-what's wrong?"

"Everything is wrong!" Starpaw gasped and stared at him, her veins icy with horror. "We're from different clans. That's against the warrior code! And to make things worse, we're medicine cats! Medicine cats can't have mates!"

Dewpaw stared at her, looking nervous, though he spoke bravely. "I know it's wrong in every way," He meowed quietly. "But... But it kind of feels right, too. No cat has made me feel the way that you do. Why should the warrior code forbid us from loving someone?"

As he stared at her, waiting for a response, Starpaw was frozen. Every hair on her pelt was dying to tell him that she felt the same way. That she wanted to spend every day and night with him. But the feeling was met with fierce panic and her loyalty to StarClan. 

"The warrior code is here for a reason!" Starpaw cried, her fur bristling. "StarClan asks us to follow it. We're medicine cats, StarClan trusts us most of all with the clans and the code that they left behind. I will never break it!" With a sob, she turned and ran out of the cave and through the tunnel. Dewpaw lowered his head sadly.

As she fled back toward WindClan territory, her heart felt numb with shock and sorrow. She felt as though she had just given up everything. No! She tried to push the feeling away miserably. I'm a medicine cat. I am devoted to StarClan alone. To WindClan alone. There is no room in my life for a mate. It is not what StarClan intended for us!