Silverpaw waded into the muddy water, watching as her paws submerged into darkness, then her elbows, and then the tips of her belly fur. Sorrelmouse was considerate enough to take her to the Muddy Shallows; an area of their territory where the water was murky and reflectionless, and the river had slowed to a snail's crawling pace. She wasn't quite back to her regular schedule, but she was inching her way closer. This was the first time Sorrelmouse had taken her to perform something other than cleaning duties.

Lichenpaw was in attendance with her mentor, too. She was awfully quiet, though that was typical of her. Her blue eyes periodically flashed towards her silver-striped companion, an unspoken question lingering in the depths of her gaze.

"What types of prey can you usually find in the marsh?" Sorrelmouse asked from the shoreline.

"Catfish," Silverpaw mumbled, watching the dark water through narrowed eyes. "Stripers, mudcrabs, and..." a flicker of movement, a shadow within the shadows, darted across her vision. She lurched forward, and with a nimble swipe of her claws, a mud-covered shape flicked out of the water. She jumped and caught it in her mouth, its serrated fins slicing the edges of her mouth. "Sunfish!" She exclaimed around the flapping tail.

Sorrelmouse purred in amusement. "Excellent catch. Bring it over."

Obediently, Silverpaw bit more deeply and trudged towards the shore. The water itself was only about a whisker-length deep, but the mud below that sank her down to her belly. She pulled herself out with a vigorous shake of her fur, sending mud and water splattering everywhere.

She placed the now-deceased fish onto the slowly growing pile on the shore, uttering her silent thanks to StarClan. Already there were two other fish caught from their patrol; a small catfish and a thin minnow. Silverpaw turned around to face Sorrelmouse, who nodded encouragingly. She turned back around and dove into the water.

Silverpaw and Owlpaw had always hated the Muddy Shallows. As per its namesake, the water was shallow and muddy. Very muddy. After a day of fishing, the two would return to camp with pelts caked in dried mud, and after that, they'd sit hours into the night helping to groom each other.

But now... there was nobody to help her clean her fur. Nobody to laugh with. Nobody to get into mischief with. Silverpaw absently gazed around at the cypress trees, buzzing with insectlife. Her stomach twisted. And now, she could see far more detail in the land around her, far much more life. Life that could easily be swiped away with a single pair of blood-stained claws. She shuddered, curling her claws inward, feeling mud stuff beneath them.

"I caught one!" A shrill voice cut her from her thoughts.

Silverpaw blinked over to see Lichenpaw standing proudly, her paws spread apart in the water and a muddy catfish flapping indignantly in her mouth. The apprentice's blue eyes glowed joyously.

Behind her, her mentor beamed with pride, and he leaped into the water with her. "See? I knew you could do it."

The tom helped her stabilize and dispatch the large fish, and together they hauled it ashore. Lichenpaw's eyes shone with excitement. She'd always struggled with fishing, and scarcely brought home any prey. A catch—especially one as large as that—was impressive regardless of who caught it, and even more so seeing it from her.

"Congratulations," Silverpaw purred. "I'm jealous."

Lichenpaw laughed softly, flicking her tail along Silverpaw's flank. "You? Jealous? You're the master of hunting among us apprentices."

Silverpaw scoffed. "Maybe before, but certainly not anymore. Toadpaw greatly surpasses me."

"Only when he's paying attention," Lichenpaw's tone was quiet, as usual, but her smile was broad.

Silverpaw grinned in return. "Only when he's paying attention," she agreed, wading back into the murky water, her eyes glued to its unwavering surface.

Though happiness was far out of reach to the apprentice, she was beginning to find it easier to experience small bursts of it. Smiling was no longer a foreign concept, even if it felt wrong sometimes. She was trying to embrace the world around her—her friends, in particular. She knew she'd never stop blaming herself for Owlpaw's death, but maybe, just maybe, she could experience a bright future, as long as she could conquer her fears of the world around her.

"Well done, both of you," Sorrelmouse purred, surveying the pile of fish. "Let's call it a day at sunhigh. The Clan will be fed well tonight."

Nodding, Silverpaw glanced up at the sky. The sun was nearly halfway to its peak. The quartet had left camp right at the brink of dawn, and had been hunting for a few hours now. A few more to go, she noted, wading back into the water, watching as her paws were consumed by dark shadows. If their luck continued, they could double the amount of prey and bring back an impressive haul.

As the patrol splashed around in the marsh, Silverpaw found Lichenpaw hanging closeby. Her blue eyes were hesitant, flashing in her direction, then back to the water.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the darker she-cat cut to the chase first. "How are you holding up?" She mewed softly, batting a paw at the water's murky surface. "You know, after what happened..."

Silverpaw grimaced, her mood souring in an instant. "Is this really all anybody can think to speak to me about?" She muttered, her voice raw with pain. "I'm more than just my brother."

"That's not at all what I meant," Lichenpaw hurried. "This whole situation affects me, too. I want to talk about it." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "It's better to, for you and those around you."

"And if I don't want to?"

Lichenpaw's mouth bobbed, her tail falling into the water, tracing emptily along the surface. "I... don't know."

"It's just that... I don't know the story, Silverpaw. All I understand is what other cats have said—you, betraying your brother; a pack of murderous rogues; a horrible accident. But you haven't said a thing. I want to know what really happened that night, not what runs the gossip."

Silverpaw scoffed. "Do you believe any of it?"

Lichenpaw hesitated. "All I believe is that whatever happened, it was horrible. For both you and Owlpaw." She spoke her words slowly, deliberately. She never was one to talk much. It was clear that this conversation was important to her.

"And why should you be the one I tell? Why shouldn't I just keep it to myself?"

The dark she-cat was quiet for a few moments. Silverpaw glanced over; her eyes were like determined blue flames, staring deep into the abyss of murky water beneath her. Then, she lifted her eyes.

"Because I loved him," she hissed softly.

Silverpaw jolted. The words were far from what she expected. "You loved him?" She breathed.

Lichenpaw nodded stiffly. "He used to sneak out every night by himself," she explained. "I decided to follow him one day, and caught him training. So... I asked him to help me." She shuffled her paws. "One thing led to the next, and our training sessions became something... more. We began talking more than training, sitting together, even playing under the moonlight. And of course, I fell in love with him. I think it was mutual." She looked up again. "That's why I think you should tell me. I deserve to know."

Silverpaw fell quiet, peeling her eyes away to stare at the algae-covered water. She spied for any flicker of movement, anything to disrupt the conversation at hand. If she really did love him... her eyes flickered to Lichenpaw for a fleeting moment, maybe she does deserve to know.

She sighed, glancing over her shoulders. Sorrelmouse and Nightpatch were far away, wading through their own spots in the water. Yet, they were still too close for comfort.

"Let's move."

Lichenpaw followed silently as Silverpaw trudged through the water. Her thoughts were a whirlwind of emotion. Had Owlpaw truly been meeting with Lichenpaw every night? It must be how he knew of the exit in the dirtplace, she realized with a start. She glanced back, regarding Lichenpaw from the corner of her eye. Her mouth felt parched.

She lifted her muzzle to the sky, droplets of water shining on her whiskers with a deep breath. StarClan, how much didn't she know about her brother? She thought they knew nearly everything about one another—clearly, she was wrong, but he certainly knew everything about her. There wasn't a single thing she'd hidden from him.

She pushed through some cattails where she came to a halt on a small stretch of land, out of view of their mentors. Hesitation pounded in her chest as she sat down.

Her tail flicked anxiously back and forth, and at last, she whispered, "It was a dream."

Puzzled, Lichenpaw stared at her. "A dream?"

"I had a dream that we'd fight off some rogues," she explained slowly. "That we'd be made warriors early. I thought it was a sign from StarClan, he thought I was being a kit. But I managed to convince him to sneak out with me." She sighed deeply. "Maybe it was a sign of sorts, but it wasn't anything that I'd have expected. We did find the rogues, but..." she shuddered, "they wanted us dead. One of us, as a message. Owlpaw being Owlpaw managed to put up a good fight, but I was captured and in his efforts to save me, he was chosen to die. After that... they tortured me."

She shrugged absently, phantom agony scoring through her pelt as if she were there all over again, her face shredded by the rogue tom, his milky white, sightless eye pouring into her soul.

"Happy now?" She looked up to Lichenpaw, her throat tight.

Reliving that night haunted her every movement, her every dream. Reciting it a second time wasn't as bad as she'd expected, but she still despised it. The only time she'd shared the story was when Pinestar, Salmonskip, and Wishfern had crowded around her nest, requesting answers.

"I'm sorry," Lichenpaw mewed, "but how did you know where to find them in the first place?"

Silverpaw chuckled bitterly. "I'd come across their scent during a patrol the day before."

"And you didn't report it to Pinestar?"

Silverpaw grimaced. "Owlpaw said the same thing," she muttered. "No, I didn't think much of it at the time. I only remembered because of that dream."

Lichenpaw nodded slowly, wordlessly. "I don't think you're entirely at fault," she said at last. "But you're not blameless, either. You should've told somebody about the scent when you had the chance, and maybe things would've turned out differently."

Silverpaw scoffed, rising to her paws. "I told you what happened," she mewed brusquely, "so let's return to fishing before our mentors come looking for us."

Lichenpaw blinked her blue eyes in surprise, parting her mouth for protest, but she stopped herself and instead nodded in acceptance. The two apprentices pushed out of the shrubbery and waded back into the mud, spying the murky water for any flickers of life.

By the time it was sunhigh, the patrol had caught a few more fish; a haul impressive enough to afford them two trips. Silverpaw helped Lichenpaw carry her catfish. The dark she-cat's eyes were glossed with grief, and an air of discomfort weighed between them on their trip. The fish was heavy, even with two cats struggling to hold it, but they made it to camp and deposited it.

There were a few cats back from their patrols, lounging underneath the afternoon sun, and already the other hunting patrol had returned, stacking the fresh-kill pile high.

Lichenpaw, Silverpaw, and their mentors left swiftly to retrieve the rest of their prey, each grabbing a couple of fish each.

Unfortunately, when the patrol made their final return, Silverpaw found Lionpoppy waiting just inside the entrance, her amber eyes as sharp as clawtips.

"Your friends came back," she hissed as Silverpaw tried to swiftly brush by. "You'd better watch your back, apprentice. I know what you're up to."

Silverpaw froze in her tracks, dropping her fish. "What do you mean, my friends?"

Lionpoppy stood up. "You know exactly who I'm talking about, you insolent little—"

The reeds shuddered. Sorrelmouse padded inside, the muddy carp in her mouth and her eyes full of silent anger. The two warriors stared at each other in silence.

"Nevermind," Silverpaw's mother snarled, turning her nose away. "You'll know what I'm saying soon enough."

Pelt prickling in unease, Silverpaw snatched up her prey and brushed past the remaining reeds.

Sitting outside the medicine den, her body marred with injuries was Spiderfrost. Her eye was clawed out, clumps were missing from her fur, and she bore a terrified grimace. As her blue gaze flitted to the camp entrance, she froze, meeting Silverpaw's golden eyes.

"Lionpoppy said—" the warrior gasped, lurching to her paws. "You did this?"

Silverpaw remained frozen in place, nearly choking on her words. "I did what?"

Spiderfrost moaned. "Can't you see?" Her tail lashed erratically. "My eye! My brother..." She spun around, the heartbreak in her eyes fixed to the medicine den. "It's bad. So, so bad."

Sorrelmouse's eyes sharpened, and she touched her muzzle to Silverpaw's ear, "Drop off your prey and find something to do," she ushered. "You shouldn't be seeing this."

Silverpaw still didn't move. Shouldn't be seeing this? But I already have. She thought, staring despairingly at the ginger warrior's injuries. There was so much blood flaking her pelt, and her crazed wails only added to the horror.

Lichenpaw snapped Silverpaw out of her trance, giving her a sharp nudge. "Listen to Sorrelmouse," the quiet she-cat urged. "Come on, I can help you."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Silverpaw nodded. Lichenpaw repositioned herself to block Silverpaw's view with her black body, her blue eyes lingering on the silver tabby as they trudged to the fresh-kill pile. They dropped their prey in a numbing silence, and Lichenpaw continued to burrow through the pile.

"Trout, yeah?"

Silverpaw's eyes snapped to the black she-cat. "What?"

"Your favorite food's trout?" Lichenpaw asked patiently.

"Uh, yes."

Lichenpaw snatched up a fish from the pile, gently nudging Silverpaw towards a corner in the clearing. As they settled down, Silverpaw peered past her shoulders; ferns and reeds blocked her gaze from the rest of the camp. She took a shuddering breath and looked to her friend.

"Thank you," she murmured.

Lichenpaw stiffly nodded. "You're welcome."

There was a tense silence between them as Silverpaw ate her food. She warily watched Lichenpaw between every bite, before she at last uttered, "So... you believe me?"

Lichenpaw blinked at her. She nodded.

Silverpaw sighed. "Thank you."

The two she-cats remained there, sharing the fresh-kill for a while longer. The ferns rustled and another figure slipped over; Sorrelmouse.

"Things have calmed down out there," she mewed, squeezing next to Silverpaw. She gave her a gentle lick around the ear. "Are you okay?"

Stiffly, she nodded, though her thoughts meandered back to Spiderfrost and Cloudgaze. Was the tom okay? What exactly happened?

Was it actually the rogues?

She shivered and pushed the thought down, focusing intently on her trout, which was nearly all gone now.

"Don't worry about it too much," Sorrelmouse soothed, "it was a fox attack. Cloudgaze should survive, and Spiderfrost will recover, though she's lost an eye."

"Foxes my tail," Lionpoppy shouted from outside. Immediately, Silverpaw's head snapped up, bile rising to her throat. "There was crowfood all over the place! Somebody led those things here, and Silverpaw's the only one with a history like that."

"History?" Sorrelmouse recoiled, spinning around to glare at Lionpoppy, who'd stuck her muzzle through the ferns. "Stop with the nonsense already, Lionpoppy! I know you're grieving, but for StarClan's sake—that's your daughter, and she lost her brother! She needs you, not—not this fox-dung you're spewing."

"I have no daughter," Lionpoppy coldly snarled.

A growl rolled from Sorrelmouse's chest, and she shoved Lionpoppy away. "Then leave this poor apprentice alone."

Lionpoppy's amber eyes shot past the red warrior's figure, burning into Silverpaw's eyes. There was an agonizing silence as the two stared at each other. Silverpaw's heart thundered in her ears, a twist of hope among the anguish.

The pale tabby scoffed and whirled away, storming back into the clearing.

Sorrelmouse turned back to Silverpaw. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "You don't deserve this."

Silverpaw remained silent, staring at her claws as they flexed in and out of the earth.

I have no mother.

❀

Hey guys! Here we are with a brand new chapter! Things get slow for a little while, and I realized that I need some item of interest for Silverpaw to mull over before things pick up again, on top of the fact that I feel we need to establish her relationship with Lichenpaw a bit more. While she's friends with the three siblings (Lichenpaw, Mistpaw, and Toadpaw), Silverpaw isn't as close with Lichenpaw as she is with the others, due to her quieter nature. This doesn't mean, however, that they are completely absent of friendship, and I thought I should establish that. I also wanted some more Sorrelmouse content, and to officially write Lionpoppy's disowning of her daughter.

Additionally, I have made some slight updates to the next 2 chapters to make this one more relevant. Feel free to read them again to see what has changed--it wasn't anything huge, though, so it isn't necessary! I'll likely do some more thorough edits in the future.

Last but not least, updates haven't quite started up again, but they will return soon!

Thanks for reading! ~ Kitten