Morning light rested upon the forest. The sun hid behind the clouds that blotted across the pale blue sky. An occasional cool breeze drifted through the camp. Cobratail stood beside the meeting rock, sending out patrols.

"Cougarfoot, will you lead a patrol to renew the scent markers by the WindClan border?" The deputy was meowing. "And Greenpine, you can lead a hunting patrol. The fresh kill pile is running low."

By the nursery, Poisonedsap was laying in the grass, watching her four tiny kits stumble around. Their eyes weren't open yet.

"There's so many smells!" Gingerkit squeaked, lifting his tiny pink nose to the air.

His sister, Leafkit, stumbled into him, her striped tail high in the air. "I can't wait to see it all!"

"And the sooner your eyes open, the sooner you can start learning to be warriors," Poisonedsap purred.

The sooner they'll be killed in battle, you mean. Bloodfur lay in the shadows of the thorn barrier, watching the cats he had once called his clanmates. His chin rested in his paws. Tail twitching. Now, they were just the cats who had hurt him. Lied to him. Betrayed him. The cats who were going to lose their medicine cat today. They'll feel like they've lost everything. Just like I did.

He saw a cream colored pelt out of the corner of his eye and snapped his attention to the medicine den. Creamheart had emerged, her blue eyes shining. Cardinalpaw padded up to her, purring a greeting, and the two cats bumped heads before she said something to him and padded over to Cobratail.

"It's a nice morning, isn't it?" She commented, her tail high in the air.

The red and black tom purred. "It certainly is. Green leaf has been good to us."

"I'm going to collect some comfrey root for Crowmask," Creamheart meowed. "He wrenched a claw yesterday. Will you send word if anyone needs me?"

Good for Crowmask. Bloodfur thought, feeling a prickle of hatred at the mention of the tom who had nearly attacked him.

"Of course." Cobratail nodded, and the medicine cat headed for the thorn tunnel.

Bloodfur watched her disappear into the thorn tunnel, not moving a muscle. He waited until he was sure the she-cat was far ahead before rising to his paws and heading out the thorn tunnel. He looked around, seeing no sign of her. Fox dung! Where'd she go? He lowered his head and sniffed the ground, quickly picking up Creamheart's scent. He quickly continued through the forest. He was so focused on her scent trail, he didn't realize how close he was to Greenpine's patrol until he heard their voices.

"Wow!"

"Good catch, Ashcloud!"

He stopped in his tracks, spotting Greenpine's brown tabby pelt between some bushes up ahead. That was close! He quickly backed away. I'll have to go around them... He carefully circled around the patrol and caught Creamheart's scent further up ahead. He continued through the forest until he saw her. He peered out from behind the bushes.

The cream and brown she-cat was crouched beside some comfrey flowers, digging up earth around the base with her front paws. She carefully bit the stem and pulled the flowers from the disturbed soil, exposing the black roots she'd come for.

Bloodfur lowered himself into a hunting crouch and began stalking closer to her. He paused, his stomach twisting with anxiety. Oh, StarClan, can I really do this? It's my own medicine cat! And Creamheart was born long after I was. None of this has anything to do with her! Can I really kill such a young, innocent cat with her whole life ahead of her? He began to consider backing out. Maybe I don't have to do this... Maybe I can be honest with Deserve and... He shut his eyes. No. He'll be angry with me if I don't. All of them will. They might even kill me!

He drew in a deep breath, opening his eyes and staring at Creamheart as she dug at another patch of comfrey. I'm sorry, Creamheart. I'll kill you quickly. He slowly crept out of the bushes, his eyes fixed on her back.

SNAP

Bloodfur froze as he felt a twig snap under his paw. Oh no! The medicine cat's ears flicked up in surprise. She spun, and her eyes flashed with alarm the moment she saw Bloodfur. She immediately bolted away, and his heart burst with terror. Fox dung! She's going to go back and tell the clan I was stalking her! He instantly gave chase, springing to his paws and sprinting after Creamheart. I can't lose her! He thought anxiously as he ran after her, dodging bushes and trees as his paws drummed madly at the ground. She saw me! If she tells the clan, everyone will know what I'm up to! It might even ruin Deserve's plan!

Creamheart veered sharply, racing between two trees, and Bloodfur shot after her, his heart sprinting as he breathed heavily, the air cold in his lungs as he tired. Please stop! He silently begged. Please! The cream she-cat leaped over a fallen tree only to catch a hind paw on it. She gasped as she rolled to the ground on the other side.

Thank StarClan! Bloodfur cleared the tree and landed on all fours in front of her, breathing heavily. His legs trembled under him. He didn't know if it was due to exhaustion or fear. He forced them forward, moving toward her. Creamheart staggered to her paws, her eyes wide as she backed up against a tree, her tail tucking between her legs.

"I'm sorry," Bloodfur rasped, unsheathing his claws.

It was obvious that she was afraid. But defiance flared in her blue eyes. "The clan was right about you," She growled shakily. Her words sent his fur bristling in anger. Maybe you do deserve this. He let out a growl and lunged at her, claws outstretched.

He nearly reached her when a reddish blur leaped in the path of his claws. He felt them tear open the cat's throat before he could stop. The cat fell to the ground as Bloodfur stumbled awkwardly to the ground. He stared at the reddish orange tabby laying before him.

No..!

Cardinalpaw lay on his side, his flank rising and falling unevenly as he breathed weakly. Blood ran heavily from the wound in his throat, soaking the grass under him in blood.

"Cardinalpaw!" Creamheart shrieked.

For a heartbeat, Bloodfur was frozen, staring at him in shock and disbelief. His paws were warm and sticky with blood. No...! No! What have I done?! "Cardinalpaw!" He choked out and staggered close, crouching beside him. "No, no...!" He pressed his paws against Cardinalpaw's throat, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. "No, please!" He looked up at Creamheart, who had crouched behind the wounded apprentice, staring at him with pain filled eyes.

"You're a medicine cat!" Bloodfur snapped shakily. "Save him!"

"It's too late." Her voice cracked as she spoke. She licked Cardinalpaw's head.

Bloodfur felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. "No," He whimpered and shouldered Creamheart aside, curling himself around the small red tabby. He curled his tail around him and pressed his muzzle into his cheek fur. "Cardinalpaw, please!" He cried desperately. "No, no, please!"

The apprentices green eyes flickered open. "B-Bloodfur..." He rasped, blood running down his chin as he spoke in a small voice. "Why..?"

"I'm sorry!" He sobbed and began rasping his tongue over Cardinalpaw's ear. He still had a bit of kitten fluff around them. He's too young to die! He can't die! Not like this! He paused and pressed his face into his red fur. "I'm so sorry! Cardinalpaw, please..!"

Cardinalpaw's breathing was slowing down. "I-I love y-you, Cream-h-heart..." He croaked out, his eyes closing.

The medicine cat rested her chin on his head, her ears flat with grief. "I know." She rasped.

Bloodfur rested his chin on Cardinalpaw's shoulder, his heart throbbing as he felt the apprentice go still. He waited desperately for his flank to move again. For him to breath. But it never came. A lump in his throat grew as he faced this horrible fact. Cardinalpaw is dead... And I'm the one who killed him...

He waited for Creamheart to say something to him. Attack him. Something. But neither cat moved for a while. After some time passed, Bloodfur drew in a shaky breath, slowly standing. "Let's take him back to camp," He rasped. He felt sick as he licked the blood from his paws. Cardinalpaw's blood.

Creamheart slowly lifted her head from Cardinalpaw's, giving a tiny nod. She gently lifted the dead apprentice by his scruff and pulled him onto Bloodfur's shoulders. He wanted to collapse, and not because of the weight of the apprentice. His heart felt as though the moonstone was resting inside of it, dragging it down until it broke through. I killed Cardinalpaw...

***

No cat spoke the whole way back to camp. When they neared the thorn tunnel, Bloodfur swallowed a lump in his throat. He dreaded the thought of facing the clan. Facing Flameheart and Bloomfire... Heatpaw, Foxpaw, and Applepaw... But he had to do it. He had to face whatever awaited him in the clearing. When they entered the camp, they were greeted by yowls and cries of horror.

"Cardinalpaw!" Tinylark gasped.

Blackstorm and Mottledface looked startled. "What happened?"

"I'll bet it was Bloodfur," Cliffshade spat, his fur bristling.

"Murderer!" Crowmask snarled.

They're right this time. Bloodfur's heart throbbed as he continued to the center of the clearing, Creamheart by his side. He gently lowered Cardinalpaw to the ground. He felt his heart ache with regret as he remembered what he'd said to Cardinalpaw all those moons ago when the apprentice had said he still loved Bloodfur like a brother. "Well, you have no reason to. I don't love you." He wished he could take back those words. "I love you, Cardinalpaw," He whimpered, licking his ear. "You're my brother." His voice died into a cry.

"Cardinalpaw!"

His heart skipped a beat at Bloomfire's voice. He quickly backed away. She and Flameheart shot across the clearing to the apprentice's body, looking horrified. The orange and white she-cat pressed her muzzle into Cardinalpaw's fur, letting out a long wail of grief. Flameheart dropped into a crouch, letting out a low cry as he rested his chin on his son's head. Their other kits joined them, letting out wails of grief. Bloodfur stepped back and lowered his head, shame burning through him. He couldn't look at them. I'm sorry! He wanted to wail. I'm so sorry!

"What happened?" Timberstorm demanded, and he realized that most of the clan had gathered around them and Cardinalpaw.

"Who did this?" Bloomfire cried. "Who did this to my poor kit?"

Crowmask rose to his paws, glaring around. "We all know who did this!" His amber eyes flashed to Bloodfur. "The same cat who murdered all our other clanmates!"

Flameheart raised his head from Cardinalpaw's body, his green eyes lit with anger. "Enough of that nonsense!" He spat. "Bloodfur is not a murderer!"

"Yeah!" Heatpaw yowled. "You're all crazy!"

"You're awfully quick to accuse Bloodfur," Applepaw glared at Crowmask. "Maybe it was you!"

The black tom bristled. "I was here the whole time, mouse-brain!"

Bloodfur hung his head in shame, his heart breaking. I killed him... I killed Cardinalpaw!

"Enough!" Depthstar yowled, and every cat turned to the clan leader as he wove through the crowd toward them. "Bloodfur? Creamheart?" He stepped toward them, his blue eyes lit with sadness. "What happened? Who did this?"

Creamheart glared at Bloodfur and opened her jaws to speak. "It was-"

"Me." Bloodfur meowed, keeping his eyes on the ground, unable to face the cats around him. "It was me."

He flinched as the clan erupted around him. Some cats gasped in shock, while others began yowling and snarling in fury. What have I done? He silently wailed. What have I done?

"Murderer!" Crowmask screeched. "I knew it all along!"

"I never thought..." Song stared at him.

"No," Bloomfire choked, her green eyes lit with horror as she stared at the cat she'd raised as her own. "Bloodfur, no... It's not true!" She cried. "Oh, Bloodfur, how could you?"

"I'm sorry-" He began in a cry.

Heatpaw rose to his paws, his amber eyes lit with anger. "We looked up to you!" His voice shook. Beside him, Flameheart stared at Bloodfur in shock.

"I knew you hated us," Applepaw wailed. "But I didn't think you would kill one of us!"

Bloodfur's heart tore apart. "I don't hate you!" He started toward them only to be pushed back by Cobratail and Crowmask. He stared at the two warriors desperately. "I didn't mean it!" He cried. "I never meant to kill him!"

"No, you meant to kill me!" Creamheart bristled, glaring at him. "And you would have, but Cardinalpaw jumped in the way!"

More yowls of fury roared around him. Bloodfur looked at the deputy who had always supported him. "Cobratail, I didn't-"

"Enough, Bloodfur," The deputy growled, his amber eyes blazing with anger. "You've betrayed us all. You tried to kill our medicine cat!"

"Hawkfeather was right!" Crowmask yowled.

Ashcloud raised his voice. "The kit born in blood tried to destroy our clan!"

"I'm sorry!" Bloodfur yowled desperately. "I swear, I'm sorry! I didn't want this!" His head spun. "Please, you-"

"Silence!" Depthstar snarled, and both Bloodfur and the clan quieted. Only low growls rumbled throughout the clearing. The dark tom's eyes narrowed to slits as he faced Bloodfur. "You have betrayed ShadowClan, Bloodfur," He growled. "What you've done is unforgivable. I exile you from ShadowClan. If any cat catches you on our territory, they have my permission to kill you."

Bloodfur's heart felt as though it had been pierced by a thousand thorns. I've been exiled..! He thought he hated the clan. But now, he was desperate to stay. This was the only home he'd ever known. "But-"

"Leave!" Depthstar spat furiously. "Or I'll kill you myself!"

Cats growled around him, seeming ready to attack Bloodfur if he refused. "I really am sorry." He whispered, but no cat answered him. He saw Bloomfire turn away. Flameheart lowered his head, and their other kits turned their attention to their fallen littermate. He hung his head and turned away, his tail drooping.

As he moved through the crowd, cats started hissing insults at him, some even pushing him. He padded through the thorn tunnel and continued through the forest blindly.

He had no idea where he was going. The ache in his heart was unbearable. The shame he felt was even worse. He remembered taking Cardinalpaw out on his first day as an apprentice. He'd been afraid of the thunderpath, and Bloodfur had promised to always protect him. I'll always be there. Bloodfur had told him. I'll never let anything hurt you. But I did. He let out a cry of grief, pausing and hanging his head. And it was me!

"Bloodfur..." He heard Mistybreeze pad to his side, but he didn't move. "I'm so sorry." She sat down and leaned against him. "It was an accident." She meowed quietly. "You were trying to kill Creamheart."

"I shouldn't have been trying to kill anyone." Bloodfur murmured. What's wrong with me? What was I thinking? He moved away from her. "I have to leave."

"Where will you go?" She asked.

Bloodfur looked at his paws. "I don't know," He mumbled. "I guess I'm a rogue now. I'll find some place to go." He started padding away slowly. "Goodbye, Mistybreeze."

Mistybreeze stared after him sadly. "Goodbye..."