A crescent moon hung like a claw in the night sky. Rainheart tossed and turned in his nest, struggling to get comfortable. Though his eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, he found himself restless and unable to sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Poppywing and their future kits. 

They'll be born any day now. He thought, feeling a wave of excitement wash over him. What will they look like? How many toms? How many she-cats? What will we name them?

"Rainheart, for StarClan's sake!" Copperstripe whispered from his nest, and Rainheart turned to see that he had sent a tuft of moss flying into the golden warrior's face. He sneezed and glared at him. "Will you please stay still and sleep?"

He flattened his ears. "Sorry." He rested his chin on his paws and let out a sigh. It was silent for a long moment. This is hopeless. He thought. I'll never get any sleep. He decided to visit Poppywing in the nursery. He rose to his paws and started to make his way around the sleeping cats toward the entrance of the den. 

He accidentally stepped on Crowmask's tail, and his black head shot up, his eyes flaring. "Rainheart, I swear to-"

"I'm going, I'm going!" Rainheart hissed at him, mildly amused. He continued walking as Crowmask huffed out a sigh and settled back down in his nest, closing his eyes.

Rainheart stepped out of the den, feeling the refreshing, cool night air brush his pelt. No cat was in the clearing. He padded across to the nursery and peered inside. 

Poisonedsap was curled up in her nest, asleep with her tail curled around her two kits. Across from her was his beloved Poppywing, her red fur like crimson in the darkness. She lay with her tail wrapped around her and her chin on her paws. 

She seemed to be awake and raised her head slowly, blinking warmly when she saw him. "Rainheart," She purred softly. "What are you doing here?"

His heart warmed as he padded into the den and settled beside her. "I just wanted to see you," He murmured, gazing at her happily. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel great," Poppywing told him. "I have the best mate in the clan, and I'm having kits soon. How could I not be?" She paused, her eyes gleaming with amusement. "You'd better be quiet. If Poisonedsap wakes up and sees you, she'll be grumpier than ever."

Rainheart let out an amused purr and rested his head against hers. "I can't wait," He whispered. "I'll visit our kits every day until they're made apprentices."

"I know you will," She murmured, her blue eyes filled with warmth. "We'll watch them grow up together and be there for them every step of the way."

"Of course." Rainheart licked her cheek. "Always." He curled up against her and closed his eyes. He felt her purring against him, and he joined in, feeling happiness spread through his body as he dozed off. The day these kits arrive will be the best day of my life.

***

The day seemed to be painfully slow. After waking up, Rainheart had been chosen to go on the dawn patrol with Bloomfire, Timberstorm, and Rosebreeze. He'd been distracted most of the time, daydreaming about what his kits would be like. But no cat got angry with him. All three seemed to understand his excitement.

It was sunhigh when they returned to camp. Rainheart went straight to the nursery, eager to see Poppywing. When he ducked inside, he saw her sitting up in her nest. She and Poisonedsap were watching Stonekit and Swiftkit intently. 

When Poppywing noticed Rainheart, she let out a purr, her eyes bright. "Rainheart, look! Stonekit and Swiftkit have opened their eyes."

He looked at the kits and saw Stonekit blinking tiny amber eyes. His brother, Swiftkit, turned his head, revealing light blue ones.

"Stonekit has amber eyes like you, Poisonedsap," Poppywing commented warmly. When the queen didn't respond, Poppywing turned to Rainheart. "What color eyes do you think-"

She suddenly broke off, her eyes flashing with alarm. She dropped into a crouch, and Rainheart shot to her side, his heart skipping a beat. "Poppywing? What's wrong?"

For a moment, she didn't respond. "I... I think-" She gasped and slumped onto her side, breathing quickly. 

It's time! Rainheart felt frozen for a moment, then snapped out of it, looking down at her anxiously. "Hold on, I'll get Hawkfeather!" He spun and shot out of the den and across the clearing to the medicine den.

"Hawkfeather!" He staggered to a halt in the entrance of the den. "Dewstorm! Come quick!" 

The medicine cats looked up at him in surprise from where they were sorting herbs. "What's-" Hawkfeather began.

"Poppywing is kitting!" Rainheart gasped and spun before he could hear their response, pelting back across the clearing.

"Rainheart?" Rosebreeze blinked as he whisked past her, and beside her, Copperstripe started to speak.

He ignored them and raced into the nursery, crouching beside Poppywing. She lay on her side in her nest, her flanks heaving. "It's okay, Hawkfeather is coming!" He told her, licking her cheek.

"O-okay." Poppywing flicked her gaze at him, and despite the pain she was in, she looked happy. "Our kits will be here soon."

As Rainheart's heart raced in a mixture of excitement and anxiety, he heard quick pawsteps behind him and turned to see that Hawkfeather and Dewstorm had arrived. 

As Hawkfeather crouched beside him, Dewstorm turned to the other queen. "Poisonedsap, would you please take your kits outside for now?" He asked. "We need room."

The golden brown she-cat's eyes flashed with protest, but she huffed out a sigh. "I suppose," She growled and stood, gently nudging her kits and guiding them out of the den. 

When she left, Dewstorm moved to Rainheart's side and rested his paw on Poppywing's flank. "The kits are definitely coming," He told her.

"Rainheart, why don't you wait outside?" Hawkfeather suggested. "I don't think you want to see her like this."

He opened his jaws to protest, but realized that he was right. He didn't want to see Poppywing in pain. But I have to be here for her! He looked down at his mate anxiously. "Do you want me to stay?" 

Poppywing hesitated. "I don't- don't want to worry you," She rasped between breaths. "I-It's okay."

As Rainheart continued to hesitate, Dewstorm looked at him. "We'll let you know as soon as the kits arrive," He told him. "Don't worry."

"Okay..." He stared at Poppywing for a long moment. "I'll see you soon." He turned and stepped out of the den. 

He was surprised to see many cats in the clearing watching him curiously. Ashcloud was the closest, sitting beside Copperstripe. "Poppywing is kitting?" He guessed. Rainheart nodded, trembling nervously.

"That's great!" Maplefur purred. "Don't worry, it won't take long."

It already feels like it's been long enough! Rainheart thought, but blinked gratefully at Maplefur. As the warrior padded away, he sat down, looking over his shoulder. He couldn't see Poppywing, only the backs of the medicine cats. Why am I so nervous? The kits are coming! Everything will be fine. He found himself digging his claws into the ground, his tail swishing impatiently. 

Eventually, he found himself unable to keep still and began pacing back and forth outside the nursery, looking in every so often to catch a glimpse of his mate. I hope she's alright... Does she need me?

"Great StarClan, Rainheart! Stay still for a moment!" 

Bloomfire's meow caught his attention, and he paused, resisting the urge to continue pacing. He turned to see his sister sitting with Flameheart not far from him, her eyes gleaming with amusement.

"I can't help it," He admitted, his heart pounding in his chest. "I'm so nervous, but excited!" He paused, his anxiety peaking, and he turned to the nursery, poking his head in. "Hawkfeather, how is-"

"For StarClan's sake, Rainheart, keep your fur on!" Hawkfeather responded sharply. "You act like she's the first cat ever to kit!"

Well, he's not going to tell me anything. Rainheart huffed out a sigh and stepped back, sitting down. A moment later, Dewstorm poked his head out, and he looked up, his heart skipping a beat. Have the kits arrived?

"Don't mind Hawkfeather," Dewstorm told him quietly. "He gets cranky when he's focused. Poppywing is going to be fine."

Rainheart hesitated and shuffled his paws. "I know, but-"

"Bloomfire, why don't you talk to your brother?" Dewstorm purred, looking past Rainheart. "If he doesn't get his mind on something else soon and stop pacing, I'm afraid his paws are going to fall off!"

As Rainheart let out a sigh, Bloomfire purred. "Of course." He glanced back, and she waved her tail at him as Dewstorm retreated back into the nursery. "Rainheart, come here."

He reluctantly padded over and sat beside his sister. You'd be nervous too if your mate was kitting! He thought. He looked over his shoulder sharply as he heard Poppywing yowl softly. Oh, StarClan...

"What has you so worried?" Bloomfire prompted, and he slowly returned his attention to her. "I've never seen you like this."

Rainheart hesitated, the anxiety churning in his stomach. He decided to confess his fears to his sister. "I'm just worried about Poppywing," He admitted. "What if something goes wrong? Will the kits like me?"

Her eyes softened. "Rainheart-"

He stared at her anxiously. "Do you think I'll be a good father?"

"Of course you will," Bloomfire promised. She paused, her eyes gleaming teasingly. "You're a bit young to be having kits though, aren't you?"

Rainheart let out an amused purr, feeling his stress ease. "Well, you will be too," He pointed out teasingly, curling his tail. "Every cat in ShadowClan has noticed you and Flameheart."

His sister's eyes widened, and Flameheart let out a purr, giving his chest a few embarrassed licks. "Oh, well," Bloomfire purred, flustured. "Maybe."

Another yowl sounded from the nursery, but Rainheart tried to ignore it. I don't want to think about Poppywing in pain. He was rather enjoying conversing with his sister. He was grateful for her company. I need her more than ever now, to distract me.

He perked up at a delightful thought, looking at Bloomfire and Flameheart happily. "If you hurry up, maybe our kits can play together, and train together!"

Bloomfire exchanged an affectionate glance with Flameheart and wrapped her tail around him. "Maybe," She purred.

It's much more than a maybe. Rainheart thought in amusement. He was about to say more when a yowl broke out from behind him, much louder than the previous ones. A sharp cry of pain followed it.

It sent a bolt of shock through his body, and he spun around, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest as he bristled. "Poppywing?" He gasped.

"Dewstorm, get some cobwebs!" Came Hawkfeather's voice, rich with panic. "Hurry!"

Cobwebs? That means... Rainheart bolted forward, pushing his head into the den as panic siezed his body. Dewstorm was clawing up a wad of cobwebs from the corner of the den. "What's going on?" He demanded anxiously.

"Rainheart, get out!" Hawkfeather snapped from where he crouched over Poppywing, sniffing her and gently pawing her belly. "Now!"

"Why?" He could hardly get the word out, feeling dizzy with panic as he struggled to see past Hawkfeather. Something's wrong! He gulped. "Is she okay?"

When no one answered him, he started forward, only to have Dewstorm shoulder him out of the den. He staggered back, stunned as the normally gentle medicine cat hissed at him. "Stay out of our way!" His eyes flared with alarm. "We need room to work. We'll save her."

"Save her?" The words sent shrill terror bolting through his body. She's hurt! Something's wrong! His head spun as he struggled to think straight. "Save her? What's wrong?" He gasped, but Dewstorm didn't respond. "Poppywing!" He yowled and surged forward.

Dewstorm shoved him back again. "Please, stay out of the way!" He urged.

No! My mate is in there, and something is wrong! A mixture of fury and terror numbed his body, and he let out a snarl, unsheathing his claws and preparing to lash out at the medicine cat. You get out of my way!

"Rainheart!" 

He was about to slash at Dewstorm when paws gripped him and pulled him backwards. He stumbled back and spun, glaring at the cat who had grabbed him. He found himself staring at Bloomfire's alarmed face. Beside her, Flameheart stared at Rainheart in shock.

I nearly attacked a medicine cat. Rainheart trembled on his paws, his heart pounding hard in his chest. "Something's wrong!" He choked, unable to hide his fear. "I have to be there!" He turned toward the den again.

Bloomfire intercepted him and sat down, wrapping her tail around him. "It's alright!" She soothed, her voice filled with concern. "Hawkfeather and Dewstorm will take care of everything. It's going to be okay." 

She gently began lapping at his fur, but he was unable to relax. He kept his anxious gaze fixed on the nursery as he trembled against his sister, his fur bristling in fear. Oh, StarClan, let Poppywing be okay!

"It's okay, Rainheart," Flameheart meowed, staring at him in concern. "Hawkfeather and Dewstorm are good medicine cats. They've handled plenty of kittings before."

That's true... Rainheart thought, though he still felt anxious. I trust them. But that doesn't make me any less afraid for Poppywing. He couldn't wait until this ordeal was over, and he could race into the nursery and comfort her. He'd cover her with licks and curl himself around her while they admired their newborn kits. He drew in a shaky breath and shut his eyes. It's okay. It'll be over soon.

A quiet cry caught his attention, and he jerked away from Bloomfire, stepping toward the nursery. Oh Poppywing, what's happening in there? His heart thudded in his chest as he trembled, his body rigid with anxiety.

Suddenly, Hawkfeather's face appeared at the entrance of the den. "Rainheart," He began.

He immediately bolted into the nursery. The scent of blood filled his nose, and his veins turned to ice the second he saw her. He let out a horrified cry. "No!"

Poppywing lay on her side in the nest of moss, her eyes closed as she breathed slowly and unevenly. Blood pooled out from between her legs, soaking the moss in crimson. 

No! He shoved his way past the medicine cats and felt his shaky legs almost give out from under him as he crouched over Poppywing, lapping at her cheek fiercely. "Stay with me!" He cried.

Her eyes parted slightly at his voice, her blue eyes glazed and unfocused as she met his terrified stare. "I'm sorry..." She rasped so quietly, he hardly heard it. "Goodbye..."

Goodbye? No! His heart throbbed with despair as her eyes closed again. "No! Stay with me!" He pleaded and pressed his muzzle into her fur. "Poppywing!"

She didn't respond. Her flanks stopped heaving, and she went still. No... She can't be gone! Rainheart trembled as he raised his head and stared at her face, his heart as heavy as a stone as it pounded in his chest like thunder throughout his entire body. 

"Poppywing?" He whimpered as he stared at her closed eye, waiting, praying to StarClan that it would open again. That she'd tell him everything was fine.

He was hardly aware as Dewstorm padded to his side and rested a paw on her flank. After a moment, he shook his head. "I'm sorry," He murmured.

His words sent thorns through his heart. It confirmed the horrible truth that he hadn't wanted to accept. No... Oh, Poppywing, no! He parted his jaws and let a long wail escape him, screaming out all the pain and despair that gripped his heart until it shattered under the weight of it all. 

He buried his face into her red fur, beginning to sob and tremble uncontrollably in his grief. She can't be gone...! She can't...! He thought desperately as he tried to drink in the warm scent of his sweet, beloved Poppywing. But the sharp reek of blood poisoned it. 

"I'll tell the clan." He heard Hawkfeather murmur behind him.

At the medicine cat's voice, Rainheart's agony melted into fury. I trusted you... His legs shook under him as he stood and turned to face Hawkfeather, hatred blazing through his trembling, grief stricken body. "You call yourself a medicine cat?" He snarled. "You're supposed to save cats!"

Hawkfeather hesitated and met his gaze solemnly. "Medicine cats cannot always save their clanmates," He meowed quietly. "Sometimes we have no choice but to accept the fate StarClan has laid down."

His words only fueled Rainheart's anger, igniting a flame in his heart. "Fate?" He echoed angrily, unable to contain his fury. How dare he say it was Poppywing's fate to die like this! How dare he! "Fate? This was not fate! She wasn't supposed to die!" 

He forced his heavy paws forward, moving toward him. Hawkfeather backed up warily as he hissed at the medicine cat. "She was supposed to have my kits! We were supposed to name them together, and raise them together!"

"Rainheart, come here," Dewstorm urged quietly from behind him. "I'll get you some thyme."

He's a fool if he thinks some herb is going to fix this! Rainheart thought, his tail bushed up and lashing madly. Poppywing is dead! Nothing can heal my heart! He glared at Hawkfeather, anger pulsing through his trembling muscles. "You killed her!" He snarled. You could have saved her, but you let her bleed to death!

Hawkfeather's yellow eyes filled with unease, seeing how out of control he was. He backed up against the wall of the den, eyeing him warily. "We did everything we could, Rainheart," He said quietly.

If you had, she would still be alive! Rainheart felt rage seize his body, and he bared his teeth, crouching and unsheathing his claws, digging them into the earth. His muscles burned to take out his agony on something. And Hawkfeather was just the thing.

The medicine cat tensed, preparing for his attack. Rainheart growled as he glared at him, breathing heavily. But suddenly, his fury faded and turned to a heart wrenching agony once more. He knew that Hawkfeather wasn't to blame. He felt his bunched muscles tremble, and he shut his eyes before spinning and bolting out of the nursery. I can't stay here any longer!

The second he burst into the clearing, Bloomfire leaped to her paws in alarm. "Rainheart! What-"

He shot past her, the world bright and fuzzy around him as he pushed his way through the camp, thrusting his clanmates aside. Get out of my way! I need to get out of here!

"Rainheart!"

"What happened?"

"Hey!"

He charged onward through the thorn tunnel, hardly aware of his surroundings now. The trees around him blurred as he ran, and he could hear nothing but his heartbeat roaring in his ears. His paws thudded madly as he tore up mud and pine needles behind him. Where am I going? What am I doing? He slowly became aware of himself and staggered to a halt, nearly collapsing.

He was in the middle of the pine forest, sunlight tinting the trees in gold. Rainheart breathed heavily, his flanks heaving as he trembled, staring down at his paws. He saw blood on his toes and guessed that he must have torn a few claws while running. His head ached terribly, and his entire body felt numb.

Poppywing... He shut his eyes and let out a cry of grief, sitting down and slumping forward. He had been injured in battles before. But he had never felt any kind of agony like he felt now. It felt as though some cat had slashed his heart in two. This was a wound that could not be healed.

"Oh, Poppywing..." He cried as he trembled uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry... It shouldn't have been this way. We were supposed to be together!" He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited he was to have kits, to raise them with Poppywing. All of those dreams had been shattered. "I just want you back... Please!" He pleaded. "I need you, Poppywing...!"

Though he received no response, he knew the truth. No cat comes back from StarClan. She can't come back to me. A thought flickered in his mind, slightly easing the pain in his heart. But I can go to her. He had a choice to make. Live in a world without the cat he loved more than anything. Or spend eternity with her. 

"Yes..." Rainheart breathed and slowly rose to his paws, trembling. "I know what to do..." Without another thought, he ran in the direction of the ThunderClan border.

He charged through the trees, his mind numb and fuzzy. He knew exactly where to go. He pushed his way through some bushes and tensed. There lay the den of the fox he'd found while on Cougarfoot's patrol just yesterday. The scent of fox was fresh and sickening.

Instinct screamed at him to turn back. Any sane cat wouldn't be anywhere near here on his own. For a heartbeat, he hesitated. Can I really go through with this? He thought numbly. Can I let myself die? As he thought about Poppywing, his heart burned with agony again, and he swallowed back a cry. Yes. I would do anything for you, Poppywing. Including this.

He slowly stepped out from the bushes and toward the den. He half expected the fox to leap out and attack him, but it never did. It must be asleep inside. He realized. He trembled as he crept closer to the mouth of the den. He stared into the darkness for a moment, then sat down, lowering his head and shutting his eyes.

He remembered how Silverblossom had grieved deeply for Stormstar when he'd died. Now in death, they were together in StarClan. That will be me and Poppywing. He thought. Very soon. 

"Rainheart? What are you doing here?"

Bloomfire? He was startled at his sister's raspy meow from behind him. Part of him wanted to turn to her and cry into her fur, let her comfort him as she had earlier. But the truth was, she couldn't comfort him. No cat could. No cat but Poppywing.

That wasn't all. He knew that he could never go through with this if he saw Bloomfire's face. It would change his mind. And he had no will to do anything but be with Poppywing once more. "I can't do it," He rasped, his head low as he refused to look at her. "I can't live without Poppywing."

"But I have great news! One of your kits is alive! He was hidden in the blood and moss." Bloomfire tried to sound happy, but her voice shook. She was afraid for him, and it made his heart ache even more.

A kit? Surprise flashed through Rainheart. One of my kits is alive... One of Poppywing's kits... He felt agony pierce his heart as he thought of his mate, and he shut his eyes. How can I ever live in a world without Poppywing? Even if I have a kit, he will never be Poppywing. My heart is too broken to love anything more. 

"I don't care," He growled, feeling his heart twist with misery as he spoke words he thought he'd never say. "That kit means nothing to me now." He opened his eyes and looked down into the shadows of the fox den, the stench of the creature filling his lungs. "All that I want is Poppywing."

For a moment, it was silent. Then Bloomfire spoke, her voice shaking. "Rainheart, let's go back to camp."

The sound of his sister's voice was killing him. Rainheart knew that if he was going to do this, it had to be now. Poppywing is waiting. "Name the kit Bloodkit," He rasped, hardly understanding his words as he spoke his heart. "That's all he is. A scrap of Poppywing's blood." The blood that got her killed...

He shakily rose to his paws, drawing in a deep breath as he stared down into the fox den. This is it... He swallowed back a sob. "I'm coming, Poppywing," He said quietly, his voice cracking. "We can be together in StarClan." The thought of being with her again gave him courage, and he leaped forward.

"Rainheart!" He heard Bloomfire yowl behind him, but he ignored it and ran further down the tunnel, the heavy reek of fox and dirt overwhelming him. He felt his hind paw trip over something hard, and he let out a gasp as he fell, his chin thudding onto the earth. 

He staggered to his paws and turned, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He expected to see a tree root. But as his vision cleared, he let out a gasp, feeling his blood turn to ice. Before him lie the mangled skeleton of a cat. 

Stormstar... He swayed on his paws, growing nauseous and dizzy with fear. A loud snarl rose from behind him, and he spun just as the fox lunged at him and fastened it's teeth around his body. 

Rainheart let out a screech of agony and twisted instinctively to free himself, but it only caused the fox's fangs to tear at his flesh. The furious animal continued to toss him around, ripping at his body mercilessly until all that he could be aware of was excruciating pain and the stench of his own blood under the snarling on the fox, until finally, the world faded around him and went dark.

***

When Rainheart opened his eyes again, he felt warm grass under him. He drank in a breath and trembled as he opened his eyes, half expecting to see the fox. But he was in a beautiful pine forest, lush and green. He slowly stood, relieved when he felt that his pain had vanished. The grass under his paws glittered with stars. I did it... I'm in StarClan!

He looked up and felt delight blaze through his body. A familiar red tabby she-cat was padding in the grass ahead of him, her back to him.

"Poppywing!" He let out a cry of joy and bounded through the soft grass toward her.

At his voice, she seemed to freeze and spun to face him, her eyes wide with shock. "Rainheart?" She gasped.

As he reached her, he pressed his head into her soft, warm fur, his heart swelling with happiness and love. "Oh, Poppywing!" He cried. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"I-" She seemed stunned and stepped back, staring at him in bewilderment. "Rainheart, what are you doing here? Did you..." She noticed the stars in his fur and gasped. "You're dead... Oh Rainheart, what happened to you?"

He stepped forward and gave her a nuzzle. "I needed you, Poppywing," He murmured. "I couldn't live without you. I love you more than anything." He gazed at her happily, ready to burst with affection.

For a moment, she didn't respond, her wide blue eyes fixed on him. "Wait... You..." She let out a gasp. "Rainheart, you didn't..."

"I had to!" He meowed warmly. "We're together again, and this time nothing can change that."

Poppywing stared at him. "A kit survived..." She whispered.

"I know," Rainheart meowed. 

"You know?" Poppywing exclaimed, her eyes lighting with disbelief. "You knew this, and you still-" She broke off and shut her eyes. "You abandoned our son..."

Rainheart's happiness faded as he heard the pain in her voice. He moved closer to her. "Poppywing, he wouldn't have had a mother."

"And now he doesn't have a father either!" She snapped suddenly, and he stepped back in surprise. "You left our kit to be an orphan!"

"Poppywing, no, I..." Rainheart stared at her pleadingly. "You're more important to me. I would do anything for you."

She stared back at him, heartache flaring in her blue eyes. "Then you should have stayed with our son," She rasped.

"Poppywing..." He took a step toward her. "I love you."

She stared back into his eyes for a long moment, then turned away. 

"Poppywing?" He started after her, but she broke into a run and disappeared into the forest. "Poppywing..." He slowly stopped, staring after her numbly. His heart throbbed with sadness and loss. 

I did the right thing... I'm with Poppywing now... He sat down and stared at his paws. But will she ever forgive me for this? He looked down into a strange clear pool and saw his son curled up in the ShadowClan nursery, his dark red striped flank rising and falling as he slept. 

He felt a flash of admiration for him, then guilt. I'm sorry. But I had to choose Poppywing over you. Bloomfire will take care of you. I trust her with you more than anyone. You will be a great warrior... Bloodkit. 

THE END