User: 

Name: Smokeface (I like the name.)

Gender: female/she-cat (That's overused, but ya gotta have females, right?)

Clan: FeatherClan (Not too bad of a Clan name; I hope you have a reason for the suffix 'Feather-')

Rank: med cat (Okay.)

Appearance: an dark DARK grey with lighter grey spots splattered all over her she has long and fluffy fur and big ears with green eyes (One dark is enough, thanks. I like gray cats, and she seems realistic enough.)

Personality: she is a strict and short tempered she-cat she will try to keep her cool in front of other cats but fail miserably she is skilled in herbs and a fast thinker and very smart she can also find something to annoy cats if they get on her Nerves also she can get very attention seeking and jealous (I think you should take the 'attention seeking and jealous' off. Her personality is definitely interesting, however.)

Bio:
Kit hood
Smokekit was the I don't give a dung about you kid and the don't get me angry kid she barely made any friends of her temper and her father will always lecture her too be nicer but did she listen no.

Med apprentice hood
Snakeheart her mentor always lectured her like her father to be nicer so she tried and she got a couple of friend Tallpaw,Acornpaw,and Falconpaw tho she didn't spend time with them much she focused her ability on herbs more than friendship when she went to the moonstone the first time when she became an apprentice she was ment with an young handsome tom named Toadpaw who was there to greet her and tell her she will be a great medicine cat anyway her first patient was her older sister Mapleheart who was giving birth the birth was successful and her sister gave birth to
Frogkit,Jumpkit,Honeykit,and Smokekit.

Med cat hood
After her first patient Snakeheart knew she was ready to become a medicine cat so on there Journey to the moon pool they encountered a wild dog who attacked and killed Snakeheart SmokePaw got his body and ran to the moon pool and showed the other medicine cats they were shocked so the VioletClan med cat Rippleheart did the ceremony and she called her Smokeface after the ceremony Smokeface brought Snakeheart back to FeatherClan they were shocked that Snakeheart had been killed and had her ceremony during the night a couple moons later she was given a apprentice Heavypaw was an idiot he kept forgetting herb names and uses he will commonly ask random questions and slack off it took 20 moons to get him to act like a proper medicine cat and she named him heavyfur 14 moons later an VioletClan ambush killed her sister, Heavyfur,stole an kit named Birdkit,and killed an elder named Tigerstream and there were many patients too.Willowpaw was the medicine cat apprentice she was more serious and good at herbs but Smokeface still mourned for Heavyfur when Willowpaw became a medicine cat she was named Willowfur a few moons later an dog came an killed Shrewstar so Fernstep was going to become leader her new deputy and Smokeface went to the moon pool for Fernstar to receive her nine lives.30 moons after that an adder was stalking Willowfur and Smokeface while they collected herbs before the adder could bite Willowfur Smokeface jumped in front of it and died (Okay, so, Snakeheart doesn't seem like the kind of name you would use for a nice cat. The fact that they try to convince her to be nicer is irritating, and I think that her mentor should be the one cat who doesn't want her to change. I feel like Heavypaw is a little bit more of a plot device than a fleshed-out character, and I'm not sure that he should be considered an 'idiot.' And...there are a lot of dog attacks in this story...maybe you could bring in another type of death? I do like how Smokeface died a noble death, but it reminds me of Honeyfern. I like how you made this character short-tempered, yet smart, and I like how you emphasize the relationships she had throughout her life.) - 5 points

Family
Mother- an dark grey she-cat with Amber eyes named Darkfoot - (I see Darkfoot a good bit. Maybe you can use Grayfoot.) - 1 point

Father-an calico and mostly black tom called AmberFlight - (Amberflight sounds odd to me, but I'm picky. It's not overused or anything.)

Sister- an calico she-cat named Mapleheart - (Good.)

Other:she reunited with her dead apprentice,sister,and mentor in StarClan - (Yay!)

Points Taken: 6

Results: 94%

I like your character; she doesn't seem Mary-Sue in the least. However, you need to work on fleshing out how other characters react to her and how she reacts to them. The backstory could use tweaking, but nobody's perfect, and I hope you make more OC's in the future. 

P.S. Sorry about the late rating, I haven't been on the account in a while.