User: -blazingmist-

Name: Blazingmist (I'm not very fond of her name. Although it's rare to see Blazing- used as a prefix, I'm not sure how I feel about it being used this way. An alternative might be Mistblaze, but she's your character, not mine)- 2 points

Clan: ShadowClan

Gender: She-cat

Appearance: White with gray and dark gray dapples. She has mismatched eyes; one golden-yellow eye and one bright blue eye. She also has a badly torn ear. (I like the description for this cat, especially the mismatched eyes. She seems original to me.)

Personality: Fun loving and sarcastic, and a bit rude and sassy at times, but funny and easy to get along with. She doesn't take things too seriously and is very loyal and kind to those who are nice to her. (I like her personality, and you gave me a lot to work with. I would imagine that she might have some insecurities, so that may be something you can add)

Mother: Lilacfern- A long-furred, light gray, dappled she-cat with pale, blue eyes. (RiverClan, deceased) (I'm not too fond of the name Lilacfern, and I feel like I've seen it somewhere before. I would keep the Lilac- prefix, and add -fur as a suffix)- 1 point

Father: Ravenflight- A black tom with deep, greenish-yellow eyes.

Sisters: Snowysteps- A black she-cat with white paws and blue eyes. Nightfrost- A gray and black she-cat with white paws and blue eyes. (I would change Snowysteps to Snowstep, just to make it smoother. As for Nightfrost, I love her name, but the description could use a little work. I don't like how she is a 'gray and black' cat. If you're going for a tuxedo look, pick gray or black, in my opinion, instead of both.)- 3 points

Mate/Kits/Crush: None

Backstory: Blazingmist and her littermates were born in RiverClan camp. The RiverClan leader despised half-clan cats, so he forced Lilacfern to abandon them. Instead she took them to Ravenflight, who brought them to ShadowClan, where his closest friend Heatherbreeze was waiting. Heatherbreeze recently had her own kit, Amberspark, (awesome name) so she pretended that Blazingmist and her littermates were her kits too. Shadekit died when Blazingmist and her sisters went out into the forest at night, and an owl attacked them, taking Shadekit. Blazingmist got the tear in her ear by trying to stop the owl. When Blazemist became a warrior, ShadowClan and RiverClan had a battle, and her and her sister Snowysteps pushed Lilacfern into the frozen river, and she drowned. Later, the two sisters realized that Lilacfern was their mother, because a grief-stricken Ravenflight told them. They now hate and blame themselves for their mother's death, but they feel bitter towards her for not keeping them. (I really like this backstory. The only part that really confuses me is Shadekit. Did the owl attack happen when they were all kits, or was there an age gap between the sisters and Shadekit? Just wondering)

Points taken: 6

Results: 94%

I really like the story all the way around, because I can tell that you put a lot of effort into it and that it's personal for you. I would really like to see this in a book (if you haven't already done so) and I feel that you tried hard to make it an original story.