Cats suddenly become good parents when they have kits for the first time.
It's a reason why I don't mind Spiderleg, he never abused his kits, he was just scared of them.

* Yeah, just general characterization problems, especially with she-cats getting the same "extremely motherly, wise and somewhat fretful" personality. I'm not saying to make all your parents abusive and neglectful to hell and back, but variety is always welcome. And if you're going to have parents super worried about raising their kits well, have them make mistakes or overstep boundaries because of their worries, and ultimately learn from that.