Lilypetal's POV

With the words I had just uttered, I truly don't think that I had ever seen two cats look so incredibly astonished at the same time. I was almost sure that Ashfur's deep blue eyes were going to topple onto the ground from how wide that they stretched.

"What did you just say?" he asked after several long moments of complete silence, his gray-speckled fur beginning to bristle.

I simply stood in my same place, holding my gaze on the Dark Forest warrior. "I said that it's a deal," I repeated calmly.

"You're joking."

I slowly shook my head back and forth, trying to hold my confidence in everything that I was saying. "No, I'm not at all."

"Foxdung to that!" Ashfur then hissed, throwing his head up in the air in anger. He then locked his blazing blue eyes with my own - hopefully unreadable - gaze. "Come on, Lilypetal, what are you playing at?"

I couldn't help but let out a snort. "What are you playing at, Ashfur?" I inquired to the tom, tilting my head to the side. "You seem incredibly shocked that I'm actually complying with your request."

I then forced myself to take a step forward. "Is there a reason why I should be unsure?"

I then watched as Ashfur flashed me a skeptical, suspicious look before slowly averting his gaze towards Tigerstar, who seemed to be trying to mask the fact that he felt the same as his fellow Dark Forest warrior did - dubious, and utterly surprised.

I then had to keep myself from flinching as Ashfur's head quickly snapped back in my direction. "Why are you doing this?" he demanded to me through gritted teeth.

I shrugged back at him. "You should very well know that answer, Ashfur," I sneered. "You said that you would stay away from my family if I agreed to help you."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tigerstar's amber eyes slowly narrowing down into slits. "But you had said-" the former ShadowClan leader began, surely about to turn my words around on me.

But I didn't let him. "I obviously needed some time to think about it, and I did," I explained, nodding to the dark tabby tom. "Seems like a pretty fair deal, if you ask me."

As I spoke, I felt my fur beginning to tingle as I realized that I was getting closer and closer to finally being able to do what I had wanted to get to the Dark Forest for in the first place. What I was finally getting the ability to do with the information I'd sought out for the past few moons.

I then took a deep breath before going on. "But that time to think also made me decide that I may want to... adjust the deal a bit."

I then turned back to Ashfur, giving a single lash of my tail and raising a single eyebrow. "Say I were to give you a bit of a new proposition?"

I felt another determined, hopeful rush as I noticed Ashfur's blue eyes briefly flash with intrigue. He exchanged yet another glance with Tigerstar before looking back at me, his gaze now full of wonder and interest, but still quite uncertain. "No tricks?" he murmured after a few heartbeats.

I tried to imagine all of the nerves and tension that I felt sinking into the ground as my claws dug into the muddy earth. "No tricks," I replied to Ashfur, my heart pounding as I shook my head back at him. Well... I suppose it depends on what he means by "tricks"...

I then beckoned him and Tigerstar closer with my tail - a gesture that I never, ever thought that I would do to any cat that could be considered an enemy. "Now listen," I began, trying to make my voice sound as assertive and self-assured as possible. "I still refuse to give you any information to use against the Clans..."

I then nodded specifically towards Ashfur, trying to hold back a smirk. "But I think you'll find that you'll be quite okay with that," I meowed to him. "I know that there's something else that you want, and I'll gladly help you to get it..."

~>~>~>~>~>~

...and I'll gladly help you to get it... I said in my own thoughts, reflecting on my encounter in the Dark Forest from the night before - a strange, satisfied yet apprehensive rush running through my tabby-and-white pelt each time I recalled it.

I then had to hold back a sneer as I padded swiftly through ThunderClan's camp, scanning my eyes around the clearing. Oh, I can hardly wait to see the look on his face when he sees what "getting it" really is... oh, I hope that it all works...

I then shook my head quickly, telling myself that I had to bring myself back to full focus, even with all of the feelings that last night's meeting stirred inside of me. You've done all that you can do for the time being, I reminded myself. So now, focus on the parts that you can control.

And at the moment, what I could control was fulfilling the job I'd just been given by Brambleclaw - patrolling the camp, and checking in on all of the training groups that had been made earlier in the day. I'd been training with Spiderleg, Mousefur and Purdy when the ThunderClan deputy had pulled me aside and given me the task.

It appeared as if Brambleclaw had chosen a couple of cats to do it, because it appeared that Thornclaw also seemed to be making the rounds - making his way around camp, and popping his golden brown tabby head into each group he passed.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of longing as I looked back at him from across camp. Unfortunately, my mate and I had been missing each other today, which I hated, of course.

We hadn't been able to speak to each other much with all of the hustle and bustle of battle preparation. We'd obviously slept in our nest together as we usually did, but today had begun very quickly and early, and we were only able to exchange "good mornings", give each other quick licks on the cheek, and then get to work.

Thornclaw hadn't even gotten the chance to ask about my night, the night in which he knew was going to be my visit to the Dark Forest. And having been able to catch the anxious, pleading look in his pale blue eyes this morning, I was sure that definitely wanted to know.

I mean, I could so easily sense his worry for me. He'd vocalized it profusely, for one, but I'd seen him casting me sidelong glances whenever I was in his sight the entire day.

I wanted so badly to both remind him that I can't have his help in my plan, as much as I'd like it, and also to reassure him that I was going to be okay, and that he had no reason to worry for me at all. At least, I've always assumed that I'll be able to go through with my plan without...

I then shook my head quickly once again. Don't be ridiculous. Whatever comes of this plan, you're ready for it, and you're going to come out safely on the other side. And with that, everyone I care about will be safe too.

I then pulled myself back to the present once again. What you can control, Lilypetal. What you can control.

I paused in my travel and looked up to see that the sun was not directly above me anymore. In fact, it had nearly disappeared from sight at this point. Another day of training has nearly come and gone already, it seems!

I then found my eyes falling near the Highledge, where the fresh-kill pile sat. I nearly let out a gasp as I quickly noticed how miniscule it was. It probably couldn't even be considered a pile anymore.

And the prey that was there all looked at least a day old. Not many ThunderClan cats have even taken the time to eat! I realized, briefly looking back at all of my Clanmates in the clearing behind me. I suppose none of us have had much opportunity to eat, even though we should...

I then turned to face all of my Clanmates, narrowing my eyes as I began to search for a certain dark brown tabby pelt. Tigerstar's son... where are you?

I then hesitantly approached the ThunderClan deputy, who was currently training near the nursery with Brackenfur, Sorreltail, and Brightheart.

Praying to StarClan that I wasn't disturbing him, I slowly paused just behind Brambleclaw and gently tapped my tail to his shoulder. "Brambleclaw?" I called to him kindly. "Do you have a moment?"

Brambleclaw quickly looked over that shoulder, only looking briefly startled before nodding to his fellow trainees and turning around to face me. "Sure," he meowed to me, his amber eyes now warm and welcoming. "What's going on?"

I found myself suddenly growing nervous with the direct question. "Oh, well..." I began after a moment's hesitation. "I just noticed that the fresh-kill pile is a bit sparse, and I figure that all of us will have to replenish our hunger at some point..."

Brambleclaw nodded back to me, his eyes glowing with interest. "Yes, go on?"

"I wondered if we should maybe send out a hunting patrol?" I finally proposed to the deputy. "Just a small, really quick one? I wouldn't want to deprive any cat of their training, but-"

Brambleclaw quickly cut me off as I had been about to sheepishly go back on my words. "No, Lilypetal - that's a great idea," he insisted to me, flashing me a reassuring look.

He then peered past me to look towards the fresh-kill pile, or... small collection, rather. "Eating hasn't really taken priority, has it?" the tabby tom then purred, echoing my earlier thoughts.

I purred with amusement. "Definitely not!" I agreed, then proceeding to give Brambleclaw a nod and pad away. "Alright then, I'll go ahead and set-"

I then cut myself off and stopped in my tracks. I let out a frustrated huff, shook my head quickly and then tapped in with the tip of my tail. "Oh my goodness, what am I doing?" I exclaimed, my voice full of laughter as I ran back to Brambleclaw. "That's your job!" And apparently, Lilypetal, it's your job to be an idiot.

Brambleclaw let out a mrrow of laughter, but his amber eyes were thoughtful. "No, that's alright, Lilypetal. You can go ahead and send a few cats out," he reassured to me, lashing his tail towards Brackenfur, Sorreltail and Brightheart. "That'd be of great help to me, actually."

Sending out a hunting patrol myself? Holy moly... My heart nearly skipped a beat, and my eyes slowly widened. "Okay, if you're sure," I breathed, giving Brambleclaw a questioning look.

"I definitely am," he meowed to me, giving me one last nod before turning back to his group. "I trust you!"

I stood in place for just a moment, letting out a long sigh. "I'm glad," I whispered, too quietly for the tom to be able to hear me.

I then turned around, my nerves slowly being replaced with excitement as I began to look among all of the cats, trying to figure out who might be able to spare a bit of time to catch some prey for their Clanmates.

I ended up sending out Icecloud, Nightwing, Lightningpaw and Berrynose. I'd called them all over and informed them that Brambleclaw had decided to send out a hunting patrol, rather than mentioning that it had been my idea. But I didn't want cats to think that I was throwing myself in some authority position that I didn't have.

I suppose that I had made good choices, because luckily, all four cats had been willing to go. I have to admit, I'd partly chosen one of my kits to go because it truthfully brought me so much fear to see them all in such intense battle training for such an intense battle that was yet to come.

I watched the hunting patrol venture out, my dear Lightningpaw trailing in the back with his mentor, before taking another look around camp once again. My eyes fell on the fresh-kill pile once again, and after a bit of observation, I came to realize that it actually seemed to contain some fairly fresh-looking catches.

I then found myself glancing up at the Highledge, as I began to think of one cat that I could be sure hadn't had a single bite to eat since this catastrophe had come about.

I then urgently ran up to the fresh-kill pile, picked up a plump young shrew, and then leapt up onto the stone ledge to head for the den that sat at the top of it.

I paused just in front of its entrance. "Firestar?" I called out into the den softly.

The pacing pawsteps I'd been hearing from inside suddenly stopped. "Is that Lilypetal?" a deeper voice replied. "Come on in."

With that, I bent down and slid into the ThunderClan leader's den. Once I'd made it inside, I lashed my tail in greeting to the ginger tom. "Hi!" I purred to Firestar before setting the shrew down. "I thought that you'd maybe need something to eat..." I murmured, pushing the prey towards him. "Unless you've been eating your prey outside of camp, I don't think you've consumed anything in the past couple of days!"

Firestar flashed me a brief look of appreciation before sighing and closing his green eyes. "And you would be correct," he responded solemnly. "The idea of food hasn't really been able to cross my mind..."

Just as I was about to give the leader a supportive, sympathetic touch on the shoulder with my tail, he shook his head quickly and walked just in front of the prey I'd set down. "But thank you, Lilypetal," he meowed warmly.

He then let his gaze fall to the ground. "Shrew - good choice."

I let out a little purr of amusement, shrugging. "I think I've seen you eating it a good amount of times."

"Would you like to share it with me?"

My eyes widened back at the tom, not being able to help feeling a bit honored that the leader wanted to share a meal with me. "Really?" I questioned Firestar.

"Of course," he insisted as he settled down on the den floor. "You've been up on your paws for a while - you're practically a blur out there!"

He then lashed his tail towards the empty spot next to him. "Sit down, take a moment and eat something."

I finally decided to settle down next to the ThunderClan leader as I let out an exhausted huff. Because, honestly, Firestar wasn't wrong - I was feeling a bit drained, and quite pooped from my busy day. "Okay, I will. Thank you, Firestar," I purred to him, taking a bite of the shrew at his prompting.

Once I'd swallowed it, I let out a humored sniff. "I will admit, a moment to rest does sound nice," I meowed to the tom, "but I guess I've felt too guilty to even consider taking one."

Firestar purred with amusement after he'd taken his first bite. "You've always been like that, haven't you?" he observed. "Those hazel eyes of yours are always on the goal."

I purred with amusement as well. "I suppose so!" I replied. "I really do try."

"Graystripe has told me before that he gets exhausted just watching you on a normal day," Firestar went on, his voice full of laughter. "You can't relax until you're sure that all of your duties are done. And sometimes... you even seek out more."

I fully mrrowed with laughter at those words, quite entertained by the fact that the great Graystripe was exhausted watching me do my everyday tasks. "Well, I just want to be of help wherever I can. I want others to be able to depend on me," I replied to the leader honestly. And some of them are, without them fully realizing it yet.

I then looked away from the tom and I took a deep breath. "Making sure that their needs are tended to, that they're kept safe..." I murmured. I then tried to brighten my gaze as I looked back at Firestar. "And it honestly all doesn't take much drive when you come to live in a Clan like this. It all feels so easy to want to defend them to the end." But... I hopefully won't have to.

I then pushed these darker thoughts away and gave Firestar a light nudge. "I'm sure you know how that all feels."

Firestar's green eyes glittered. "I do," he replied. He then nudged me right back and winked at me. "Definitely sounds like something we might have in common."

His eyes then seemed to glow with pride just as I purred once again. "But you certainly don't need to remind me of that, Lilypetal," the ThunderClan leader went on. "You've always had a certain gleam of determination in your eyes, from the day that you first arrived in ThunderClan."

I stared back at the ThunderClan leader, already feeling completely toppled over by his praise, and he simply gave me a sincere nod before continuing. "I was blown away by the amount of spirit and optimism that I saw there," he observed, looking off as if he were staring at his own memories. "And you know what? Since then, it's seemed to grow stronger, darker and deeper with every moon. And you've grown along with it. It's always taken you forward, as determination should."

I managed to feel even more overwhelmed with the leader's words. He had no idea, but they'd made me feel even more confident of something that I'd once been made fun of for all of the time. "Thank you, Firestar," I meowed to him. "You honestly have no idea how nice that is to hear." It's absolutely wonderful to hear...

"Well, I'm only speaking the truth. I'm very proud of you," Firestar purred, briefly touching his nose to my ear. I then met his gaze again, his eyes revealing a bit of sadness. "And I know that your mother would be proud of you, too."

As I always was, I instantly was overcome with grief at the mention of my mother. "Great StarClan, I hope that she is," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I know that she's still here with me, in a way, but I still wish more than anything that she were still here, with me."

I then made sure to flash Firestar a reassuring look. "I obviously have endless amounts of support here in ThunderClan, but..." I trailed off for a moment, reminding myself that it was okay to share my feelings with my leader. "I miss having the support of a parent, you know? Especially in these challenging times, I'm reminded that that's not... not there anymore."

Although I wasn't looking at Firestar now, I could see his compassionate, sympathetic gaze burning into me as he put the tip of his tail on my shoulder. "I completely understand, Lilypetal," he meowed softly.

I then looked at him to look into his sincere green eyes. "But I hope that you know that that role doesn't have to remain empty in our life," he continued. "Even had you never found Mistpelt out in the forest all those moons ago, it would have been filled then, too."

For several, several moments, I simply stared back at the Clan leader, overwhelmed with so much gratitude and affection at the leader's words.

Aside from Smudge back when I lived in the Twolegplace, I'd never had a very stable father figure in my life. And since I'd come to the Clans, I'd obviously never figured that I'd have one, considering my real father was long dead. And also... not a good cat.

But it was in this moment that I realized that I'd had one this entire time. "I... I... Thank you, Firestar. I never, ever doubted that," I forced out, my voice full of emotion. "I mean, your faith in me is what has allowed me to be able to grow at all. You've given me undeniable support, and I can't even begin to put into words how thankful I am."

Firestar then touched his muzzle to my head for just a moment. "I've been more than happy to guide you, Lilypetal," he meowed. And when he pulled away, I was both surprised and concerned to see his green eyes briefly flashing with sadness as he stood up. "And I will continue to as long as I am here. And beyond that, too."

Before I could even come up with a reply to Firestar, he shook his head and looked towards the den entrance. "Well, as much as I hate to, I wonder if I should send you back out now?" he murmured. "Moonhigh is nearly here, and I'm sure that you'd like to make your contributions before you head off to sleep."

I nodded in agreement to the ThunderClan leader as I stood up as well. "You are most definitely not wrong," I meowed as I trotted ahead. "Duty calls!"

I then paused and looked back towards Firestar as we both shared a purr of amusement. "Goodnight, Firestar," I murmured to him more softly. "And thank you again... for everything."

Firestar dipped his head to me. "Of course. Goodnight, Lilypetal."

I flashed the leader one last warm, grateful look before finally sliding out of the den. And sure enough, just as he had said, the sun had completely disappeared, and the moon was beginning to rise.

But it seemed as if ThunderClan hadn't really noticed; it might as well have been sunhigh from how alive the camp was. The whole Clan still seemed to be out and about, completely focused as they worked in their training groups.

I figured that it would be quite a while before the camp fully quieted down, and everyone decided to go to sleep.

And honestly, this was to my luck, as I realized that I wasn't quite ready to leap back into the action just yet; I needed to take a bit more of a moment.

I leaped down from the Highledge, deciding that I was going to find a place out in the forest to sit for just a little while and gather my thoughts before I returned to training.

Just before I made my way through the camp entrance, I paused and quickly whipped my head around towards my Clanmates, looking for a certain golden brown tabby pelt to bring as company.

But I was surprised to immediately notice that Thornclaw seemed to be nowhere in sight. I felt an extreme pang of disappointment before finally crawling through the gorse tunnel. You'll have the chance to speak with him soon, I reassured myself as the shadows of the trees fell onto my fur. I'll just find him later.

I then broke into a run, knowing exactly where I wanted to go. Mistpelt was still on the brain, and while Firestar's support and comfort had helped me immensely, I knew that I still wanted the same from my mother, in the one way that I felt like I could.

The colors of dusk and daylight continued to disappear as I pelted through the forest, the wind against my fur beginning to feel more and more chilly.

Once I knew that I was closer to my destination, I slowed down and settled on a fairly fast trot as I began to scan my surroundings. Wow, the water sure is high right now, I observed as I looked out towards the lake.

I then looked up at the trees. Even with newleaf having arrived, some of these trees haven't budded. Interesting, I then thought, noticing some trees that were pale and leafless. They must be dead. One of those could probably fall down with just a little push...

I then abruptly stopped in my tracks when a flash of purple came into my vision. And the lavender patches look as beautiful and vibrant as ever... I thought as I settled down, having made it to my spot.

I then let my head rest on top of my paws as I lied down in the lavender and stared out towards the lake. Then, as the sweet, yet sharp scent of the lavender began to flood through my nose, I tried to pretend that my own mother was sitting there beside me. Mistpelt, I haven't heard from you at all since you've died, I said to her in my thoughts. I need your support more than ever now...

I then quickly shot up to a standing position when I thought I heard pawsteps slowly getting louder and louder behind me. My heard began to pound of my chest as I thought of all of the possibilities of whose they could be.

But that fear suddenly became an overwhelming amount of relief, warmth, and happiness as I turned to see Thornclaw arriving into the clearing. Another undoubtable, amazing support system that I could never bear to lose...

My mate's pale blue eyes were gleaming in the moonlight as he emerged through some bushes. "Hm, I figured that I'd find you here," he murmured, his gaze briefly flashing with mischief.

I could barely stand to hold down my excitement as I ran up to meet the tom. "Aw, well, aren't you just so smart," I teased, a purr rumbling in my throat as I pressed against my mate and leaned my head into his chest. "Hi, Thornclaw."

He pulled me closer to him with a paw. "Hi, Lilypetal," he whispered back to me, touching his muzzle to my head as he also purred. I closed my eyes with ease, and thanked StarClan that I was finally getting needed time just to be with my mate - the love of my life, for just a bit amongst everything going on.

And after the two of us simply took several moments close together, drinking in each other's familiar scents, Thornclaw pulled his head away so that he could meet my gaze. "So, I just had a little talk with our firstborn."

I cocked a single eyebrow. "Did you?" I purred. "Oh, dear. What did she do this time?"

Thornclaw sniffed and gave a shrug. "Oh, nothing but be the amazing daughter that we raised," he replied, his gaze full of pride. And after the two of us exchanged a proud glance, he went on. "I just had to remind her of that a bit. She's been putting on a brave face for us during all of this, it seems."

"As she always does..." I breathed, love for our courageous, spirited, independent and dauntless daughter growing inside of me. I then let my eyes fall to the ground. "And as much as I don't want to hear of one of my kits ever feeling any sort of fear... I can't help but feel a bit relieved when I hear that. Because... I'm definitely doing the same."

Thornclaw instantly seemed to know what my words meant, as he always did. He sighed and gently ran his tail down my flank. "You know that it doesn't have to be this scary, Lilypetal," he meowed softly. "The Dark Forest battle, sure. But all of this with Ashfur..."

He trailed off for a moment before going on. "It doesn't have to be this way, I hope that you know that."

My heart then seemed to melt as I continued to stare into his pale blue eyes. "I could be right there with you," he then murmured, "in whatever this plan of yours is."

"I know," I whispered, placing one of my paws on Thornclaw's. "And you have no idea how many times I've considered that. I want you next to me more than anything."

"Then, why aren't you letting me?"

"Oh, Thornclaw - it's not that I'm not letting you," I meowed my mate, hating to see the fear and pain in his eyes. "It's because I can't."

Thornclaw then stood up. "Nonsense!" he insisted. He then seemed to take a moment to contain himself, taking a deep breath before saying his next words. "Do you remember, all those moons ago, when the two of us were about to venture out to find the exiled Ashfur, and make sure that he left the forest for good? We were both insisting to each other that we could do the deed on our own, to prevent the other from being in danger."

My mate then sat down once again, his words seeming to spill out of him with his passion. "You told me - either I'm coming with you, or you're staying here," he went on. His gaze then sharpened as he looked back at me. "And that is what I insist to you now. It's what I'll always insist. Either I'm going into danger with you, or I go in your place."

I had to shut my eyes for a moment as they began to well up with emotion. Even after all of this time, the love and support that I received from this tom absolutely blew me away. "And it's what I'll always insist to you," I meowed huskily after a few heartbeats. "And it's what I'm also insisting to you now, Thornclaw, because you're staying right here."

Before my mate could protest, I went on. "I must do this on my own. I refuse for it to be any other way," I insisted, hardening my meow just a bit. "Ashfur's not going to be allowed to lay a claw on anyone else but me."

Thornclaw, to his dismay, finally seemed to be accepting the fact that there was no use in fighting me anymore. "Why do you have to risk him laying a claw on you at all, Lilypetal?" he nearly whispered.

I took a deep breath and looked out towards the lake. "For you, for Goldenshine, for Snowflight, for Mistpelt... for all of our kits..." I answered, confidence in my plan rising all over again as I thought about all of the cats that I was doing this for. "For this Clan..."

"Lilypetal, I don't understand-"

"But you will," I softly demanded to Thornclaw, padding around so that we were face to face rather than flanking each other. "Thornclaw, you have to trust me. I'm not changing my mind, so all I can do is make you believe that I know what I'm doing. And I do."

To my surprise, Thornclaw let out a long sigh and sat down with my words. "I know that you do. I've never doubted that," he murmured. He then let out a snort. "And considering you're doing something so potentially dangerous, I hate that I find you so trustworthy."

He then let out a quiet purr of amusement, his eyes briefly glowing with affection. "Well, I hated that I found I liked a lot of great things about you when we first met... and look how that turned out, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," I purred back, leaning my head forward to lick my mate's nose. "I'd definitely say that something came out of that."

I pulled away to meet Thornclaw's glowing, loving gaze. But after a moment, it seemed to darken once again. "But I hope that you realize that your requests don't necessarily imply that I'm going to listen to them, Lilypetal," he declared, his eyes full of determination. He then took a step closer to me. "I'm always going to be right here beside you whether you like it or not, in whatever way that I can be."

"And beyond this, you will, just as I will be to you," I murmured, my voice likely barely audible from how thick from emotion it was. And yet another purr rose in my throat as I then stepped forward, and my mate and I bent our heads together. "I love you so much." And I don't want to lose you. That's why I have to do this in the way I am.

Thornclaw let out a soft chuckle and twinned his tail with mine. "I love you more," he whispered.

"Hm," I then grunted, pretending to be skeptical as I dug my head into my mate's shoulder, and we both looked out at the lake together. "I doubt that."

As I always was, I felt extremely comforted just by my mate's presence, and the fact that I now knew that he trusted me with my plan made me feel even more at ease. If my mate didn't believe in me, it would be so hard not to question it all...

And even if that hadn't been the case, just being with Thornclaw and speaking with him brought out all of the determination and power that I had inside of me. He brought out the best in me, and had since we had first become friends so long ago.

This moment was the first time all day that I felt not even a mouse-tail's amount of fear or uncertainty.

I was ready to take on Ashfur, the way I was supposed to.