Swiftflight's POV

I was just as uninformed as the patrol following behind me through the forest, but I already had a strong idea of the words we'd be hearing once we returned to our camp.

I would never forget the solemn expression I'd seen on Firestar's face as he'd leaped up to the Highledge just moments earlier; the rage, tenacity, and apprehension in his eyes was like nothing I had ever seen before.

There were only a few things - one thing, rather - that I knew of that could intimidate a Clan leader this much. To cause him to be filled with so much determination and anger, but so much fear at the same time...

I was dreading the moment that my suspicions would likely be confirmed, and I was almost glad to be the one that Firestar had chosen to acquire Lilypetal's rescue patrol and bring them back to camp, as it would give me something else to think about for the moment. They had all been anxiously whispering to each other following the warning I'd given them, and I really hoped that they couldn't sense my own nerves and fears as I continued to lead them through our territory.

When the camp entrance actually came into sight, I decided to glance back at the patrol. I immediately locked eyes with my own mother, who was walking just beside Lilypetal and Thornclaw. 

I stared back at her uncertain, worried gaze for a moment, having no idea what to do except shrug back at her. Surely she - Thornclaw and Lilypetal as well - had the same idea as I had about what Firestar would have to say to us, but neither of us wanted to think about it for the moment.

I then shifted my gaze to find that Snowstorm, who had also been on the rescue patrol, slowly padding up to walk beside me. Rather than looking fearful or troubled, her blue eyes were dark and curious. "Gravely serious, huh?" she murmured, reprising my words from earlier. "Well then, I'm glad that you found us so quickly."

I managed to snort with amusement, relieved to actually be speaking with someone else rather than being stuck in my thoughts. "I'm glad that you all were even in ThunderClan territory to find in the first place," I joked, looking up at the star-flitted sky above. 

Nearly dawn now, I realized, flicking my ears. They were really, really fast to return. "And you got Lilypetal back!" I meowed to Snowstorm as I met her gaze again. "How did you all manage to do it so quickly?"

Snowstorm gave a single lash of her tail and sniffed, her eyes glinting with mischief. "Hm... well, let's just say that we got some kittypet help."

"Kittypet help?" I repeated, somewhat confused as I tilted my head to the side. "Do you mean Dustystorm or Cloudtail?"

"Nope!" Snowstorm exclaimed. "We got Oreo to help us!" She then briefly glanced back towards Lilypetal. "He won't admit it to his sister, but Great StarClan, he's definitely got some warrior potential in there."

"I see," I replied, narrowing my eyes and trying to hold back a purr of amusement as I internally observed how cheerful and at ease Snowstorm seemed to be, despite the ominous, cryptic warning I had just delivered to her patrol - something beyond the excitement of being apart of a rescue mission. "Well, then I suppose I partly have Oreo to thank for all of you getting back safely."

I then looked back to Snowstorm from where I'd been glancing at the camp entrance up ahead, and was surprised to find blue eyes full of relief and gratitude staring back at me. "What?" I couldn't help but ask, utterly weirded-out by my friend's behavior.

Snowstorm then gave me a small nudge on the shoulder. "Oreo isn't the only cat that needs thanking right now," she meowed, her eyes still gleaming.

I was beginning to worry that Snowstorm had accidently eaten something strange... or poisonous while she was in the Twolegplace; I wondered if I had ever seen her look so at ease, especially under foreboding circumstances like this. "Well, okay..." I responded through my bewilderment. "Who else, then? Did some other kittypet help you?"

"I'm not talking about the rescue anymore, Swiftflight," Snowstorm then insisted, her warm gaze burning into mine. "I'm talking about you."

"Me?" I repeated, my eyes widening at my friend's words as we both crawled through the gorse tunnel. "What in the name of StarClan do you have to thank me for?" Unfortunately, I can't think of many things I've done up until now that are worth receiving gratitude for...

Snowstorm began to open her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again as we made our way into the camp clearing, probably realizing that her voice would break into the silence.

Because it was quiet. Eerily quiet, except for a couple of whispers being exchanged here and there. Quiet enough to where any cat would be quite hesitant to speak at even a normal volume. Everyone just seemed to be awaiting Firestar's words.

The ThunderClan leader was still in the same place that I'd left him in, up on the Highledge. He only flicked his gaze towards the returning rescue patrol as they all sat down, and briefly flashed Lilypetal a relieved, warm glance before looking out to the rest of his Clan.

I thought that my heartbeat would surely be able to be heard as ThunderClan continued to wait for their leader to speak. 

And I was sure that once he did, everyone's stomachs flipped upside down in anticipation of what he would say.

And it was then that my suspicions were confirmed. "Clanmates," the ThunderClan leader began. "We face an enemy stronger than we have ever known! The danger comes from dead cats as well as the living."

I then had to screw my eyes shut as he then meowed, "The Dark Forest has sworn to destroy the Clans."

It was just as I had feared. 

The place that I had been training in every single night for several moons, the place that making so many cats blind to their true intentions, the place that had nearly made me one of their own, was finally making themselves known to those who feared them most.

It was what my kin - Goldenshine, Lilypetal and Thornclaw - and I had been awaiting. It was what many cats in this Clan had been anticipating for moons, but we never would have imagined that it would come so quickly!

As gasps rose and spread around the camp, I looked behind me to find that Goldenshine was looking right back at me, her eyes filled with horror. Thornclaw was staring ahead, his eyes dark and unreadable. And Lilypetal was staring at the ground, her hazel eyes blazing with panic. Not a sort of panic that came with news like Firestar had given, but something more... urgent. She looked as if the cats of the Dark Forest were about to burst from the camp entrance at that very moment, and that she wasn't ready for it at all. "No..." I then heard her whisper.

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes as I looked back at the brown tabby-and-white she-cat, reflecting on what Ivypool had said earlier about my older kin. I hadn't wanted to believe it when she'd said that she had seen Lilypetal in the Dark Forest, speaking with Ashfur and Tigerstar.

But I wondered if I should be taking the silver she-cat's words even more seriously than I had been before. It appeared as if Ivypool's words to me earlier had been a little more than the she-cat just needing to vent about her current worries - they had been much more serious and present.

I glanced over at the silver-and-white tabby she-cat to see her staring up at Firestar. She didn't look back at me, her dark blue eyes grim and somber. She didn't even blink when Cloudtail's voice broke through the gasps of alarm. "That's impossible!"

Firestar scanned his green eyes across the clearing. "You've all smelled the scents and seen the paw prints in the forest."

"They're just rogues!" Dustpelt then insisted, reflecting what I myself had taken from the strange stenches and marks left out in the forest in recent days.

I looked back once more and just barely caught Lilypetal and Thornclaw exchanging a nervous glance, and I wondered even more what Lilypetal, and Thornclaw too, knew that I didn't.

"Have you forgotten the scent of Tigerstar?" Firestar asked his Clanmate, his eyes narrowing.

Dustpelt hesitated for a moment. "I... I thought I imagined it."

Firestar stared back at the dark tabby warrior for a moment before continuing on. "A battle is coming that we have to win, for the sake of every warrior that ever lived," he meowed out clearly. "We must fight alongside the other Clans, because this enemy threatens us all. ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan will each send three warriors here at dusk to join our patrols. We will send three warriors to their camps."

The ThunderClan leader then looked down to nod to his deputy. "Brambleclaw, you choose who will go."

Behind me, I could hear Thornclaw's tail brushing against the ground. I looked back to see his narrowed pale blue gaze staring up at Firestar. "Won't ShadowClan just take advantage of this to steal our territory?"

The leader's reply nearly sent a chill down my spine. "If they do, all will be lost," he answered grimly.

My gaze then shifted towards the nursery as Brightheart spoke. Her blue eyes were wide as she wrapped her tail around her kits, Amberkit, Dewkit, and Snowkit, who had been born about a quarter moon ago. "How will I protect my kits?" she asked in dismay.

I felt a strong, painful pang in my heart with the she-cat's words. But it wasn't because I was worried about solely her kits. How will I protect my Clanmates? My family? And...

My gaze then slowly shifted over to a certain ginger tabby pelt, who was currently making her way over to Goldenshine, her amber eyes wide, worried moons. Cherrypaw... I thought, my heart sinking. I wish it was in my power to make sure that not even one of those spirits lays a claw on her.

I then looked to Poppyfrost, who was sitting a few fox-lengths away. I'd protect her with everything I have, if you'd only let me.

My heart then skipped a beat as I noticed Ivypool standing up out of the corner of my eye. The tabby she-cat slowly padded forward, acting as if she wasn't aware of all of the gazes suddenly burning into her fur.

She stopped once she was just below the Highledge, and turned to face her Clanmates. "I know how they fight," the silver she-cat announced once the worried yowls of the queens died down. "I can teach their moves to the Clan."

I stared, completely and utterly baffled at what the warrior was choosing to reveal, and what she could be sacrificing by doing it.

"How do you know?" Dustpelt called out accusingly. 

Firestar swiftly leaped down from the Highledge and stood next to his kin. "I sent her to spy," the ThunderClan leader explained. "She knows more about our enemy than any cat. Learn from her."

Close by, I could see Mousewhisker's mouth dropping as he stared back at Ivypool. "You were spying in the Dark Forest?"

I then fully looked over my shoulder to see the tom's baffled expression. Some of the cats around him shared it, ones that I soon realized also shared something in common with Mousewhisker - cats who trained in the Dark Forest.

Blossomfall, Birchfall, and Mousewhisker had once been cats that trained alongside me. I'd once shared the same hope that they had - that these Dark Forest cats were truly going to make me the fiercest, strongest warrior the Clans had ever seen. But I, with many cats' help, was able to realize the sick intent behind it all, leave, and dissociate myself completely from that life.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how these cats were feeling - fear, guilt, shame? Were they worried that Ivypool would reveal what they were doing to the rest of the Clans?

I then flicked my ears as another question crossed my mind. What if Ivypool were to tell others of my past there? I wondered. What if she were to tell cats the true reason as to why was once such a fox-heart?

I quickly realized that that wasn't about to matter. I was already seeing how much this secret of their time in the Dark Forest was weighing on these trainees. And while I had left the gruesome place, mine still weighed on me as well.

But I knew of one way that it could lift. 

My heart felt heavy as I glanced back at Cherrypaw. StarClan, please don't let this be too big of a sacrifice. Please let this further help me gain my place in this Clan.

I then looked over to Poppyfrost. Please. 

I took a deep breath, and took a step forward, pushing down my apprehension with all of my might. "You can learn from me as well," I meowed out, trying my best to keep my voice from shaking. I then met Ivypool's shocked blue gaze, and padded up to stand beside her. "I have also been to the Dark Forest."

My gaze then fell to the ground in shame. "But... I wasn't a spy. I trained there."

I truthfully had never been so terrified to do something as little as lift up my head. I could hear quite a few surprised gasps, and feel several gazes burning deep into my head.

And they had all the right to do it. After all, my words were probably coming as an explanation to my behavior since I'd been a young apprentice.

But, after just a moment, I forced my head back up as I realized something. It was my past, I told myself. It was my past, and I'm about to tell them that. If they are going to give me grief for something that I used to be, then that is their issue.

I then took another deep breath. I learned that after the fox situation. "It's now been moons since I've been there, and while I'd hoped to never associate myself with them ever again..." I went on, giving a brief nod to Ivypool. "If there's anything I can do with any of it, it would be to use my training to help my Clanmates."

I then scanned my eyes around the clearing, locking gazes with each cat individually. "You all can trust me," I insisted to them. "I'll teach you everything that I know." I mean it with all of my heart.

As I had expected, many of the other eyes that I stared into were full of shock, but not nearly as much fear and distrust as I thought I'd see. I'll just have to show them that I'm not lying, I told myself, observing all of the cats who seemed uncertain of my words. But my actions will speak louder than my words.

The cats that already knew of my past - Lilypetal, Thornclaw, Ivypool, Snowstorm and Goldenshine, were all looking back at me, clearly shocked by what I had decided to reveal, but also clearly beaming with pride.

And the Dark Forest trainees... well, let's just say that their mouths were practically big enough that I'd be able to leap straight into them.

My heart then nearly skipped a beat as my gray-blue eyes locked with Cherrypaw's amber ones. I absolutely dreaded what I'd see there. What if this caused her to hate me as much as Poppyfrost did? What if she wouldn't even need her mother to prompt her not to speak to me again?

I even had to hold myself back from running up to her and spewing out every single possible thing I could say to convince the ginger she-cat that she could trust me, but I forced myself to stay in place.

But even if I had built up the courage to do that, my heart lifted as I realized that it didn't seem to be necessary.

Cherrypaw's amber eyes were glowing with admiration as she stared back at me. By her stance, I could tell that she was completely astonished by what I had just revealed to her and the rest of ThunderClan, but her gaze revealed nothing but warmth and pride.

My heart seemed to grow as I realized that the ginger she-cat was seeing the situation in the way that I hoped that the rest of my Clanmates would eventually see it, just as my family and closest friends were. She still trusts me, after all of that... I can't believe it. I thought. Great StarClan, I don't deserve her... in any regard.

I then reluctantly had to break my gaze from Cherrypaw to look back at Firestar.

Thank StarClan, the ginger tom's eyes were calm - calm as they could be under the circumstances - and approving. "I am glad to hear that, Swiftflight," the ThunderClan leader meowed, giving me a single nod. "Thank you. You and Ivypool will both assist your Clanmates with your knowledge."

Firestar then turned to face his Clan once again as I exchanged a relieved, triumphant glance with Ivypool. "We will win this battle because we are fighting for our lives and for the lives of our Clanmates," he meowed clearly. "Our enemies are already dead. They fight only out of hate, and that will be their weakness."

"We'll beat them!" Cloudtail yowled out, many cats following just after.

"I'll shred any Dark Forest warrior I lay my paws on!" Molepaw exclaimed as he slashed at the air with unsheathed claws.

Firestar scanned his eyes around the clearing of cats once again, his green eyes shimmering in the dawn light. "Then let's start training," he beamed. "For victory!"

After more yowls of triumph, the cats of ThunderClan began to gather into small clusters, whispering to each other as Brambleclaw made his way around camp, quickly giving assignments and dividing the clusters up into training groups.

For a moment, I stayed in my place next to Ivypool and simply watched as these groups were formed, absolutely baffled by how well making my announcement had gone. I even wondered if the thoughts of the Dark Forest spirits lingering on Clan land had been too strong and terrifying for my Clanmates to even process it - after all, they had found out that I had once trained with the cats that had once betrayed them, and were now attempting to betray them again.

Either way, I suppose that I was thankful, and was happy to be given yet another opportunity to prove myself. 

"Swiftflight!"

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, jerking my attention to Brambleclaw as he padded up to me and Ivypool. "Swiftflight," he repeated, nodding to me. "For now, I'm going to have you train with Foxleap, Icecloud, and Snowstorm. And Ivypool," 

The deputy then nodded to the silver tabby she-cat next to me. "Hollyleaf, Molepaw, Rosepetal and Whitewing are going out into the forest to train - you will join them," he commanded. He then shifted his gaze to me, and then Ivypool again. "Since we are counting on the both of you to know what the Dark Forest may bring to us, I'm going to have you all train in many of our groups."

Ivypool gave Brambleclaw a single sharp nod. "That's fine with me."

"Me too," I meowed immediately after.

With that, Brambleclaw simply gave us one last nod before padding off and disappearing back into the forming groups of cats.

I then turned to Ivypool as I felt her brush my shoulder with her tail. "Hey," she whispered to me once I had met her gaze. "Good luck."

I used my tail to give her a quick flick on the ear. "You too," I replied, before quickly padding ahead in search of Snowstorm, Foxleap, or Icecloud.

As I traveled across the camp, my eyes immediately fell on where Goldenshine was standing with Nightwing, Sandstorm, Dustystorm, Emberpaw and Lightningpaw. She flashed me a look of urgency, nodding towards Lilypetal and Thornclaw, who were currently speaking with Brambleclaw near the Highledge.

I instantly knew what she was implying. The four of us will need to meet again soon. 

I returned my mother's nod and then continued to make my way towards Snowstorm, Foxleap and Icecloud, who I now spotted gathered near the warriors den.

My stomach then immediately twisted up into a knot once I passed Poppyfrost and her group. I didn't even need to take a glance to know that it was her - I could practically feel her blue eyes burning into my fur. 

I hadn't been able to spot her when I had revealed my past in the Dark Forest to the Clan, but I could easily imagine the look on her face.

The same one she was giving me at the moment. "So, it's even worse than I had originally thought," the tortoiseshell she-cat murmured.

I stopped in my tracks and shut my eyes for a moment. Oh, no...

I was full of fear and dread as I turned around and met her dark, resentful gaze. "Poppyfrost-"

"To think that my daughter has been spending time with a cat who trained in the Dark Forest!" the she-cat growled, her voice rising over whatever I could have tried to say. "I can't even begin to comprehend it."

I then felt my fur begin to bristle as Poppyfrost took a step closer to me, her demeanor tense and hostile. "Is that why you've spent any time with her at all?" she demanded. "To gain your reputation in this Clan and wipe away your dark past by making friends with the sweet apprentice?"

I could hardly believe what I was hearing, as it was so far, so incredibly far from the truth. "What?" I exclaimed in complete bewilderment. "No! I..."

I then trailed off, having absolutely no idea how to begin my next words, or what words to even say. "I..." I stammered. Why is this so hard? I thought as I closed my eyes in distress, wondering how it was possible to want to speak, yet want to hold my words back so badly at the same time.

I then opened them a moment later, and met Poppyfrost's cold gaze once again. "I thought so," she muttered. And then, as she began to walk away, I felt the same pang of regret that I'd felt when I'd watched her and Cherrypaw walk away with their patrol in the forest. "Go on," Poppyfrost then called back. "Your group is probably waiting for you."

Wait! 

I watched the tortoiseshell she-cat walk off, having to push down any impulse I had to chase after her, and having to push down my pangs of regret. But what would I accomplish, anyway? For StarClan's sake, what is my problem? I barely got three words out to her. I asked myself as I turned and trotted over to Snowstorm, Foxleap and Icecloud, finally being able to convene with them.

The three cats were staring at me in awe as I approached and sat down in front of them, and I anxiously waited for one of them to speak. What is the first thing you'd say to a cat that just revealed that they used to train with evil spirits?

Snowstorm was slowly nodding her head as she stared back at me. "Not bad, my friend," she then muttered to me, giving me a wink. "Not bad."

I flashed Snowstorm a grateful look, and then nervously looked over to where Foxleap seemed to be in deep contemplation. "So..." he murmured, slowly lifting his gaze from where it'd fallen to the ground to meet mine. It was the first time I'd ever seen the dark ginger tom look so solemn. "You were a Dark Forest cat, huh?"

I let out a long sigh, forcing myself to keep my former mentor's gaze despite my guilt. "Not proud of it," I replied with the smallest shrug.

I then watched nervously as Foxleap exchanged a glance with Icecloud. And after an incredibly long moment, he looked back at me, his gaze surprisingly warm. "Well, I suppose that's all that matters," he meowed, dipping his head to me.

I stared back at the tom, overwhelmed by his understanding and compassion. Foxleap was always a goofy mouse-brain with a big mouth, but he's one of the most loyal, supportive companions I could ever ask for, I thought as the two of us exchanged a warm glance.

Then, after another moment, the ginger warrior sniffed and flitted his eyes around our gathered group. "Well, look here - the four of us training again, how about that?" he observed, his voice full of laughter. 

Icecloud purred with amusement as well. "Except this time, it looks like Swiftflight is going to be training us!" the white she-cat commented before lashing her tail towards me, her eyes big and eager. "Swiftflight, what do you suggest we try first?"

I flicked my ears, pleasantly surprised by my group's enthusiasm at receiving my training. "Hm... well, since there's three of you, I can show you all this really neat move that's great for two cats against one," I murmured, thinking out loud as I padded up closer to the three cats. "Here, Snowstorm, you can-"

I then cut off my own words as I thought I heard a hiss come from behind the warriors den.

I quickly brushed it off, not thinking anything of it, and spoke again. "Snowstorm, you can-"

The hiss then came again, a bit louder this time. 

I narrowed my eyes and quickly whipped my head in the direction of the noise. "Is someone there?" I called out, trying to push down my frustration.

After a few heartbeats of silence, I actually received a response. "Swiftflight?" I heard a familiar kind, sweet whisper. "It's Cherrypaw!"

My heart then seemed to skip a beat as the ginger tabby she-cat emerged from behind the bundle of brambles. Her amber eyes were wide and wary. "Could I speak to you?" she then asked, shyly flicking her gaze over to Snowstorm, Icecloud and Foxleap. "For just a moment?"

I immediately found myself edging towards her. "Um... sure," I meowed. I then glanced back at the group, and tried my best to ignore Snowstorm's gleaming, smug expression. "While I'm gone, you all can practice the underbelly slash - I saw it a lot when I was in the Dark Forest."

Then, without even waiting for their reply, I quickly turned around and began to follow Cherrypaw back behind the warriors den, my nerves were rising with each pawstep that I took. They were so strong that they overshadowed my excitement of getting to be alone with the ginger she-cat.

By the time that I sat down in front of Cherrypaw, I was desperately praying to StarClan that we hadn't been spotted. "Cherrypaw, what are you doing? Do you have any idea how risky this is?" I demanded to her. "Your mother would burst into flames if she saw us back here!"

Cherrypaw urgently nodded back at me. "I know, which is why we have to hurry!" she pleaded to me.

She then took a step closer to me, and all of the panic and anxiety that had been rising inside of me quickly diminished as I met her gaze. "But I really, really needed to talk to you," she meowed more softly.

She then let out a sigh and began to pace the area. "Oh, Swiftflight, I've tried to talk to Poppyfrost so many times to no avail!" she confessed, her voice full of distress. "I've explained to her how close we've gotten, how your heroic actions weren't out of just selfishness, how you've been so kind to me... but she won't budge!"

I couldn't help but close my eyes and let out a sigh, ruthlessly pushing down my disappointment and dread. "No..." I breathed. No, please, no...

"I don't know how much more I could try before she finally decides to claw my mouth off..." Cherrypaw went on. "I don't know what more I could say!" 

The ginger she-cat then stopped in her tracks, locking her gaze with mine once again. I hated to see the sadness in her amber eyes. "She's so set on thinking the worst of you," she then meowed, shaking her head slowly, "and it's completely unfair."

I raised my eyebrows back at her. "Unfair, Cherrypaw?" I couldn't help but question. "But... she's right!"

My heart then sank as I recalled my latest confrontation with the tortoiseshell she-cat. "And as much as I hate to say it, convincing her that I'm a good cat for you-" I then nervously cut off my words. "for... at all, now that she knows that I used to train in the Dark Forest isn't going to help matters."

I then lowered my head to the ground, too scared to look at Cherrypaw for the moment. "I... I thought you'd be feeling the same way as she does..." I murmured, almost inaudibly. "...as much as I didn't want it to be true." What if I just imagined the admiration in her gaze?

My apprehension and worries flew away once again, my ears growing hot and my stomach fluttering as Cherrypaw trotted up to me and gently rubbed her head against my shoulder. "Well, Swiftflight, I don't, so you don't have to worry about that."

"But... why?" I asked Cherrypaw in shock. "How?" Why are you so considerate and trusting? I don't deserve it!

Cherrypaw pulled away from my shoulder, her gaze revealing as much shock as I currently felt. "What do you mean, 'how'?" she meowed. She then hardened her gaze. "The Dark Forest doesn't define who you are, does it?"

"Well-"

"It doesn't," Cherrypaw insisted sharply. My fur then began to tingle as her amber gaze softened, and she placed a single paw over mine. "At least, it doesn't to me."

I practically felt dizzy as I stared back at the she-cat, getting lost in her amber gaze, and at the same time continuing to be amazed by her trust in me, and her unconditional compassion. 

So, I actually felt somewhat taken aback when Cherrypaw broke her gaze, her eyes widening as she let out a gasp. "And Poppyfrost will feel the same way if you speak to her, Swiftflight!"

It took me a moment to process Cherrypaw's words. "What?" I asked, having to blink a few times to bring myself back into focus.

Cherrypaw turned to look back at me once again, her amber gaze now sparkling. "Swiftflight, I know how amazing you are, and hopefully you do, too," she began to explain. "If Poppyfrost hears from you that she shouldn't judge you based on your past, that you're not going to be a bad influence on me, she might let us... well..." She then shyly looked away from me and shifted her paws back and forth. "...spend time together again."

For some reason, an immense amount of fear and timidity began to rise inside of me with Cherrypaw's suggestion. "Yeah..." I breathed. "Maybe..."

Cherrypaw's gaze then washed over with concern. "Maybe?" she repeated as she tried to search my gaze. "I mean... if that's what you want..."

The ginger she-cat's eyes then began to widened as she watched me continue to hesitate. "Is it, Swiftflight?" she asked me worriedly, taking a step closer to me.

"Cherrypaw, I..." For a moment, I thought I had gained the courage I needed to answer Cherrypaw, her troubled gaze bothering me like nothing else, but I then almost instantly felt as if I was physically being yanked back. "Well..."

I trailed off once again. "It's... I mean..."

I then shut my eyes and lowered my head, what I knew I wanted to do and say feeling as difficult as a cat trying to swim upriver. I know what I want to say... so, why can't I say it? Why does it feel so wrong to want to say it?

I could barely stand to look at Cherrypaw's hurt expression out of the corner of my eye. "Oh... I see," she whispered after a few heartbeats. "Um... that's okay." She then hesitated for several more, and I felt my heart break as I saw her shut her eyes, and listen to her voice become hoarser. "It's completely alright. You don't have to. It's just... I..."

She then completely turned away from me. "I... I thought that you felt the same way that I did."

For a moment, I felt as light as the smallest, most dainty feather. "What...?" I breathed. Oh my StarClan...

Cherrypaw then whipped herself around to face me again, her eyes full of hurt. And I stood, speechless, as the ginger tabby she-cat confirmed the speculation that Snowstorm had brought up to me moons and moons before. "I have feelings for you, Swiftflight!" Cherrypaw admitted, her voice thick with pain. "I have since we were kits, and I was never sure if you returned them."

She then screwed her eyes shut. "But now, as we've become so close... I thought that you were just as willing to fight for... us as I was. But... I guess not."

My heart began to beat faster with panic all over again. No! No! I insisted to her in my own mind. That's not it at all! Not even a little!

But all I felt I could do was stand, frozen, as I watched Cherrypaw break her gaze from me yet again. "It's alright," she then breathed. She then let out a sigh, stood up, and quickly began to leave our hiding place. "Listen, we should both probably return to training, before any cat notices that we're gone."

No! Cherrypaw, please come back!

My gaze followed Cherrypaw as she padded past me, my heart suddenly feeling like it had been smashed into countless amounts of pieces - the words I needed to say to make things right - bring the truth to light - still not being able to escape my jaws, no matter how much I wanted them to. It was just as difficult as it'd been trying to speak with Poppyfrost.

Cherrypaw stopped in her tracks for just a moment, giving me one last long look full of sorrow. "I'll see you around, Swiftflight," she whispered, then turning around once again and disappearing into the camp clearing.

No... "Cherrypaw..." I quietly called back to her. I then let out a sigh and closed my eyes. "Come back... please." Let me try again...

But I knew that unfortunately, for now, that couldn't happen.

I finally forced myself to stand up, leave my spot behind the warriors den, and return to my training group. Things could've gone so differently just now... I realized. But I was the reason that that didn't happen, and yet...

I then had to shake my head quickly and attempt to bring myself back into focus as I came into view of my Clanmates once again. 

I returned to my training group to find that Foxleap and Icecloud seemed to be practicing the underbelly rake, just as I'd told them to.

I then looked at Snowstorm, and was surprised to find her looking right back at me - her blue eyes narrowed and full of concern and contemplation. 

All I could do for the moment was simply give her a somber, warning glance before nodding to Icecloud and Foxleap, who were finishing up the move and standing up. "Okay..." I breathed, shaking out my fur and trying to ignore the overwhelming feelings of remorse and grief that threatened to completely take me down. "Now, about that one move..."