Lilypetal's POV

Slam!

My eyes shot open, and I flinched with alarm at the loud noise that had woken me up. What in the name of StarClan was that?

I quickly lifted my head and scanned the area, and nearly hissed as I almost immediately noticed the Twoleg looming over my... cat bed?

I barely paid the Twoleg any mind as it then started to pet me; I was too busy trying to contain my confusion and shock. This again? I thought irritably as my Twoleg's clammy, furless paw finally pulled away from me and I was able to stand up.

I let out a long sigh, my paws suddenly not feeling comfortable or familiar pressed on the cold, hard ground as I padded up to my pink food bowl and bent down to eat. I didn't want to, not one bit. But I was dreaming, I knew it. Although I knew I had full control of my actions, I felt like I was being tugged every which way at the same time.

Which means that I have to eat these StarClan-cursed pellets again, I thought humoredly, forcing down my last mouthful. I shook my head almost as a coping mechanism to get through the horrid taste. Even if Clan life hadn't ended up being for me, their meals never cease to fail.

I then continued to try to ignore my tugging bewilderment as I began to wander around the kitchen - the room I had stayed in most as a kittypet because it was nearest to the back door that led outside.

So, when I noticed the large hindpaws of one of my Twolegs begin to travel towards the door, I couldn't help but jump up with excitement and lightly bat at them with my paws. Please, please, you furless giant! Open that darned door! I begged in my mind. Let me out of here!

Something I had actually respected about my Twolegs was the fact that they actually had the ability to take a hint. After the Twoleg gave me one last stroke on my head with one of their paws, I heard the click of the doorknob, and I nearly cried out with triumph as I saw daylight through the crack of the wooden plank.

I slithered through the door and outside as quickly as I could, so thankful to feel the softness of grass beneath my paws again. But after a few heartbeats, I let out an exasperated sigh and looked back at the now-closed door. I had never thought that I'd see the day where I'd have to make that escape again.

I then urgently began to trot through the yard until I made it to the tall white fence, something that actually gave me a bit of ease. It was my means of escape, that's why.

I let out a small purr before leaping up and swiftly landing at the top of the fence. If anything was going to get me through this dream, it would be at least one glance out into the forest.

But as soon as I was able to process what was in front of me, my stomach twisted up into a knot.

I had expected to see a forest, and a forest I got... but it wasn't the bright, striking, beautiful, seemingly never-ending forest that I had always known.

It was almost as if this forest represented the cutoff between night and day; It was perfectly sunny and warm from where I sat on the fence, but out in the forest it was dark. Very dark. It was almost as if sunlight was forbidden to bleed through its trees. Creepy... really, really creepy.

It was ominous, that's for sure. But nevertheless, my curiosity got the best of me, and I leaped down onto the other side of the fence and began to pad ahead without one look back at my Twoleg nest.

The forest was even more dreadful and unsettling from the inside than it had appeared from the outside. It did appear as if it was nighttime here, but there weren't any stars or moon in sight. All of the grass around was dry and dead, and all of the brambles seemed to carry large, sharp thorns. Not one creature was in sight.

I hated to admit to myself that this place was familiar to me. I'd been here only twice, but that had been more than enough.

I was quite nervous, but I continued to travel further into the forest. I was sure that my Twoleg nest was far behind me now.

Each pawstep I took felt like an eternity, and I almost felt like I could hear my heart beating it my ears. Well, it is the only thing I can hear right now, I thought anxiously as I flicked my eyes from side to side. It's horribly quiet.

I then stopped in my tracks, my heart beating faster as I heard a rustle of leaves come from up ahead. Well, never mind.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep calm as I continued to walk, a bit more slowly now. It's just a dream, I relentlessly tried to tell myself. It's all just a dream. You don't need to be scared.

I flicked my ears and nearly gasped as I heard another noise, but this time it was much closer. And to my dismay, a scent came with it. Well... I don't think that I need to be scared...

I then unsheathed my claws and dug them into the ground as I almost thought that I recognized this horrid odor. I couldn't quite touch on it at the moment, but I found that it was further pulling me forward.

The scent was becoming stronger and stronger, and the rustles were becoming more and more abundant the more that I traveled. I was honestly surprised by how little fear I felt at this point, even my surroundings being as unnerving as they were.

After winding my way through a big pile of limbs and branches, I paused once more at yet another rustle. This time, it had come from some brambles right in front of me.

Here, the scent I had been following was as strong as ever.

I bared my teeth, trying to force down the growl that was rising in my throat as I crouched low to the ground. "Who are you?" I actually muttered out loud, half to myself. I'm not afraid... I'm not afraid...

I then let out a startled hiss as something new caught my eye. Within the shadows of the brambles and bushes in front of me, I could just barely see two narrowed eyes staring back at me, blazing with malice.

And would you look at that, I thought as I actually began to growl and unsheathe my claws once again. They're my favorite color, too.

Blue eyes.

It didn't take me much deductive reasoning to know who was staring back at me through those bushes.

As a strong wave of rage rushed through me, I leaped forward out of my crouching position, and I actually managed to feel a twinge of satisfaction as my claws met fur.

"You!" I barked as I began to rake my claws down the fox-heart's flank. "I'm going to rip you to shreds for all you've taken away from me, you piece of crowfood!"

"Lilypetal!"

I ignored the voice that echoed in my ear. "No! You don't get to 'Lilypetal' me!" I hissed in the gray-speckled tom's ear. "This is what you deserve!"

"Lilypetal! Wake up!"

Just as I had begun to realize that it wasn't Ashfur's horrible, mocking voice that was calling out to me, my eyes shot open once again, but this time I was in my current home.

"Lilypetal?"

My heart nearly skipped a beat as I was startled by the hushed meow that I heard, but I immediately let out a sigh of relief as I turned around the see the wide, concerned pale blue eyes of my mate, Thornclaw.

As soon as my gaze had locked with his, he let out a small purr of amusement and brushed his tail along my flank. "Are you alright?" he whispered as he watched me try and catch my breath. "You were dreaming."

I wasn't able to speak for a few heartbeats as I still seemed to be making my way to full consciousness. I looked up to see that small beams of moonlight were making their way through the cracks of the nursery den as I panted and blinked my eyes open and closed a few times, having to remind myself all over again that everything that I had just experienced was only a dream. Thornclaw is right. It was all a dream, I told myself as I took a deep breath. So why don't I feel satisfied?

I shook my head slowly as I finally turned my head to look at Thornclaw once again. I touched noses with my mate as I finally answered him. "Yes, I'm alright. Just a bit shaken," I whispered. I then let out a long sigh as I continued to shake my head slowly. "Great StarClan, I was dreaming like that again? I'm so, so sorry."

Thornclaw shifted himself closer to me and touched his muzzle to my cheek. "It's okay. Don't worry about it," he reassured me before pulling away to meet my gaze again. His eyes looked worried. "This is the third night that I've had to wake you up like this," he then admitted, a bit of laughter in his voice. "Tonight you actually took out a bit of our nest."

I flicked my ears and gasped. "What?" I nearly exclaimed before whipping my head around to find a small clump of moss lying just a few tail-lengths away. It was misshapen and lumpy - definitely not one of the pieces the kits would play mossball with.

I let out another sigh as looked back at my mate. "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry," I repeated, my heart welling up with guilt. My dreams have been depriving Thornclaw of sleep for three nights now, that's not fair to him at all! "I'm... I'm sorry, Thornclaw."

"Stop apologizing," Thornclaw purred, his warm gaze burning into mine. "It's not your fault."

I then sighed once again and closed my eyes, actually being reassured by my mate's words. "I suppose not," I whispered, licking my mate's cheek before sniffing and glancing down at our mossy bed. "But I'd like to refrain from shredding our own nest. I think we can both agree that that was my fault." My voice actually managed to be full of laughter as I spoke.

Thornclaw was purring with amusement as well. "Hey, it's kind of fun, actually," he replied. "We can see how many nights it takes you until you tear it into nothingness."

"Very funny," I murmured, flashing my mate an amused look before looking urgently down at my flank, glancing at each of the three bundles that were there. "Did I wake up the kits?"

"They didn't even bat an eye," Thornclaw answered, peering over my flank to get a look at Lightningkit, Wrenkit and Emberkit, who were curled up and pressed against me. "You know that they've been sleeping like opossums for days now - not even a Twoleg monster growling outside of the den could wake them up."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Good," I breathed, lying my head on Thornclaw's shoulder and pressing myself against him. I then pulled my kits in closer with my tail, which had become significantly harder from how big they were getting.

I then closed my eyes, not to go back to sleep, but rather to reflect on what the heck had just happened. Thornclaw's words had reassured me quite a bit, but I couldn't help but still be frustrated by how my dreams were affecting me.

As he had said, this was now the third night that I had been experiencing these type of dreams - ones that caused my mate to have to wake me up in order to keep me from hissing out loud or clawing at the air.

And all three dreams had been very similar to what I had just experienced tonight, the only differences in the others being that maybe I began in the forest rather than in my Twoleg nest, or I was woken up before I could even make my leap towards the cat I saw.

Either way, I didn't like them. They always left me feeling antsy, angry, nervous, and everything in between.

I let out a small huff as I then opened my eyes again, and I looked up at Thornclaw to see that he was staring right back down at me. I couldn't help but purr as the softness of his gaze. He manages to get more handsome and adorable each time I look at him, if that's even possible.

"Hey," he then began, breaking his gaze to nod towards the entrance of the nursery. "How about we go on one of our walks?"

I raised my eyebrows at my mate. "Right now?" I questioned as I lashed my tail. "It's in the middle of the night!"

Thornclaw simply shrugged. "And?"

"Well... what about the kits?" I meowed, actually purring from how outrageous Thornclaw's proposition sounded.

"My former comment still stands," Thornclaw replied as he flicked Lightningkit's ear with his golden tabby tail. "And these three are old enough to know to stay put by now. And if one of them gets any ideas, I'm sure Wrenkit will try and talk some sense into them."

"You're not wrong about that," I murmured, looking lovingly down at our second litter. And since... things have happened, I genuinely think that Emberkit, Wrenkit and Lightningkit have learned what happens when you leave camp without permission.

A small shiver ran down my spine as certain bad memories resurfaced, but I pushed them down ruthlessly and thought about Thornclaw's offer. After a few heartbeats, I turned back to my mate and gave him a definitive nod. "Alright, let's go."

Thornclaw nodded back to me. "Okay," he whispered, before stepping aside and letting me leave the den first. And after the two of us exchanged a warm glance, we traveled quietly through the camp, fully aware that everyone else around us was fast asleep.

As we then padded through the camp entrance, we gave a nod in greeting to Nightwing who was on guard before making our way out into the forest.

Almost immediately after we left the camp behind us, I felt another tug of worry and quickened my pace to walk side by side with Thornclaw. "Are you sure that the kits will be alright?" I couldn't help but ask.

Thornclaw turned to meet my gaze. "I actually am, Lilypetal. Daisy, Sorreltail and Ferncloud are in there with them, and Nightwing has been directed to keep an extra close eye out for anything that might happen."

And unfortunately I know what events caused that rule... I thought solemnly as I nodded at Thornclaw's words.

"And I'd hope that they'd behave, anyway," my mate continued, snorting. "They're going to be apprentices any day now."

I felt my heart sink a little as those words processed. "My goodness, our second litter... apprentices," I breathed, trying to push down my sadness.

"I can hardly believe it, either," Thornclaw purred as he exchanged a bittersweet glance with me. "But they're ready. I know they are."

"I agree. We created three fantastic little bundles," I purred back before feeling my heart break a little more. Not so little anymore... "But nevertheless, maybe we should still hurry, just in case."

Thornclaw sighed as he looked at me warmly. "Alright, we'll go back in just a little while," he meowed as he flicked my ear with his tail. "But not right now - I really think that you need this walk, Lilypetal."

I let out a teasing, exaggerated sigh. "Alright, alright," I conceded, then looking up at the night sky and stepping closer to Thornclaw so that our fur brushed. "It is a really beautiful night." And it's nice to be in a night forest that actually has moonlight and Silverpelt above it!

"And we're actually getting some time alone," Thornclaw meowed, licking my cheek. "That hasn't happened much since the kits were born."

I purred as I nuzzled my mate's neck fur. "Definitely not," I replied before sighing yet again, but it was another one of relief, and not distress. Thornclaw was right, I thought happily as we continued to walk side by side through the forest. I needed this walk a lot. Great StarClan, how does one get so considerate?

I turned to look at my mate once again, my heart welling up with love. "Hey," I whispered. And once Thornclaw had returned the gaze, I pressed my muzzle against his. "You're sweet."

I pulled away to see that Thornclaw's pale blue eyes were filled with love and humor. "I tend to be," he murmured smugly before twinning his tail with mine.

After I purred with amusement, we then proceeded to walk in silence for a bit, simply enjoying each other's company and listening to all of the moonhigh creatures that stirred. Everything around us was so beautiful - the most horrible leaf-bare resulting in maybe one of the most gorgeous newleafs I had seen since I'd been a Clan cat.

I briefly glanced down at the ground to look at all of the different herbs and flowers that were in bloom. Great StarClan, Jayfeather will definitely have a lot for his stocks! I thought excitedly.

I then found myself slowing my pace as my eyes fell on a particular plant. One that I actually had contained in my heart for quite a while now.

Lavender. Mistpelt's favorite flower, I thought to myself as I screwed my eyes shut. Oh, Mistpelt. I miss you more and more every day. Why did this have to happen?

The immense sadness that I was feeling in my heart was almost immediately replaced by extreme resentment and rage. I sunk my unsheathed claws deep into the ground. What happened could have been prevented, if not for...

I shook my head quickly, almost as if to rid of these thoughts, but all of the heartbreak that Ashfur had put me through up until this point had brought me to such a point, that it was very hard. And killing my daughter was hard enough... I thought, my heart sinking as I thought about one of my firstborn, Snowflight. But somehow luring my kits away from camp, and Mistpelt going out to save them...

I then couldn't help but release a small whimper as I continued to stare at the purple flower that now meant so much to me. But thanks to Swiftflight, who had been the one to tell me of Ashfur's latest antics, I couldn't help but feel angry every time I looked at them.

Thornclaw clearly sensed this, as I felt him press himself against me, and I turned to see that his eyes were sympathetic, but they also reflected all of the anger and hurt that I felt as well.

"Come on," he meowed softly after a few heartbeats, gently prompting me on with his tail as he began to pad away from the clump of flowers. "Let's get a drink of water from the stream, okay?"

Almost thankful to have a distraction, I immediately shut my eyes and turned away from the lavender before quickly following after Thornclaw.

But as it did each time my heartbreak and anger resurfaced, it didn't go away immediately. I ran up to flank Thornclaw once again, then taking once last glance at the flowers we had left behind.

I then turned away from them for the final time, trying to replace the rage burning inside of me with the determination that always followed. As much as I am living my life to the fullest the best I can, I don't know how much longer I can go on, fearful in the anticipation of what Ashfur could possibly do next, I realized as I pressed comfortingly against Thornclaw.

I then reflected on the meeting that me, Thornclaw, Goldenshine and Swiftflight had had just a few days ago, where so many secrets and plans had been revealed - Snowstorm's identity, Swiftflight's time in the Dark Forest and his escape from it, and a lot more along with that.

As scary and daunting as it had been, it also gave strangest kind of reassurance. Ashfur was becoming stronger; the Dark Forest was becoming stronger - but that meant we were closer to finding a means to defeat them once and for all.

Soon, I told myself as I bent down to lick at the water flowing in the stream. I then shook out my fur and stared down at my reflection in the water. I was almost startled by the burning determination in my own eyes. Soon.