Lilypetal's POV

It already felt like old times as the five of us traveled through the ThunderClan forest. Sure, any time that we assembled together before had actually been to discuss that idiot Ashfur, or dealing with the arrival of the Dark Forest, Snowstorm, or something else dire, but to actually be able to take an expedition together without the prompting of impending doom was actually quite nice. And almost too good to be true, I thought to myself.

I then let out an almost in audible snort as the first traces of WindClan scent began to flood through my nose. Well, I suppose checking the WindClan border isn't the most pleasant thing the five of us could be doing, I realized. All of us have somewhat harsher memories associated with it...

After all, the WindClan border – close to the end of it where the stream met the waterfall that drummed down to the lake – was the place that I had lured Ashfur just short of a moon ago. Where I brought him down, and then Snowstorm finished him off, I thought as a chill ran down my spine. And like the fantastic cats that they were, Goldenshine, Thornclaw and Swiftflight came to help the two of us back to camp.

I then let out a sigh and closed my eyes. Wow... I thought to myself, taking a quick glance at Snowstorm, who was walking by herself and scanning the clearing. The both of us really, really risked our lives that night. I might not be here right now if she hadn't saved me.

I then looked up to the sky, my heart filling with love as I tried to imagine the cats of StarClan – one in particular – staring down at us from above. And I will forever be grateful to my daughter for that. Oh, how I miss you every day, Snowflight.

I could still hardly believe that my daughter's spirit – after being taken away by that sick Ashfur – had preserved itself in the form of Snowstorm, who had carried my daughter's spirit up until just moments after Ashfur's disappeared forever. But now – she was safe and happy up in StarClan, and had fulfilled her destiny of getting rid of the shadow that had casted over our entire family.

And while I was forever relieved that that shadow was gone – that shadow that had constantly threatened to take away everything I cared about, simply because I wanted to expose him for who he truly was; a sick cat who wanted to ruin my friend's life – I wondered if it was something I'd ever be able to fully move on from. After moons and moons of torment, I suppose it would be hard... and it is, just a bit.

At that thought, I couldn't help but let out a sigh as we continued to pad through the trees. And of course, Thornclaw, who was right next to me, heard it and was already staring at me with deep, concerned pale blue eyes. "Are you alright?" he asked me calmly as he brushed his tail along my shoulder.

I turned my head to look back at him, my heart already wanting to explode with gratitude. "Yes, I promise that I am. Thank you," I reassured him. I then let out another sigh as I took a quick glance around the forest. The oak trees were already turning into the thin birch trees that surrounded the WindClan border, and I also could just barely hear the flowing stream and the thundering waterfall up ahead. "Just... reminiscing, I suppose?"

I then heard Goldenshine let out a snort in front of me from where she was walking next to Swiftflight. "Goodness, reminiscing is a word for it, I guess!" she purred.

Swiftflight looked at his mother and gave a shrug. "I'd say it is – Ashfur was killed for good around here," he meowed, repeating my own thoughts. He then gave a nod to me, and then to Snowstorm. "Thanks to you two."

Snowstorm narrowed her eyes and gave her friend a teasing look. "Oh, stop kissing up," she teased to him.

Swiftflight's eyes widened back at the white she-cat. "Kissing up? What reason would I have to kiss up to you?"

Snowstorm cocked a single eyebrow. "After your time as an apprentice, I'd think you'd want to."

All of us except Swiftflight let out mrrows of amusement, while the dark gray tom narrowed his eyes back at his friend. "Hilarious," he seemed to mutter half to himself. "Anyway, I was serious. Thanks to you two, Ashfur is..."

All of us immediately shot our gazes to Swiftflight when he paused in his words for a moment, and waited for him to go on. "...is gone," he eventually finished, proceeding to give a shake of his fur.

"What was that?" Goldenshine asked her son, her gray eyes full of suspicion and concern.

"Nothing!" Swiftflight immediately insisted, his eyes widening.

Goldenshine immediately shook her head. "Nope. If we're going to continue to talk about your apprenticeship, we later found out that 'nothing' was always typically 'something.'"

"But it is nothing, I promise!" Swiftflight went on, and just by the urgent and worried look in his eyes, I was sure (or maybe just hopeful) that he was serious. "I hesitated because... well, I still have dreams... nightmares about it all sometimes."

Nightmares?

"Do you?" I pressed to my kin, my eyes immediately widening and my heart beating faster at his words.

"Unfortunately," Swiftflight breathed, and with those words, I think the tense energy and the potential fear of Swiftflight going back to his past ways completely left. "Sometimes I still see that creepy, evil, blue-eyed dark entity in my sleep."

"That's completely understandable," I immediately told Swiftflight. "I mean, it was still just a few moons ago that you were his apprentice, after all. It's all still so fresh."

"Exactly," Goldenshine chimed in. "Stupidly, but it's true."

"I know, I know," Swiftflight murmured as he gave a roll of his eyes. "And I know that it's all over, and he's dead, but, the nightmares are still a lot, you know?"

As all of the other cats simply nodded to him in understanding, I found I could only stare back at him as my heart continued to pound in my ears. "These nightmares remind me that after all we've been through..."

I then flicked my ears as Swiftflight's gaze met mine, his blue gray eyes full of sympathy, but also the slightest bit of questioning in them. "...he's never fully going to be gone."

Another chill ran down my spine at my kin's words. Ain't that the truth...

"No one could have said it better," Thornclaw meowed, and I let out a purr when I felt my mate wrap his tail around my back in support. I stepped closer to him, nuzzling my head into his neck fur for just a moment.

"Agreed," Goldenshine then meowed. I then was surprised to hear her let out a sniff. "I mean, Lilypetal still looks as stressed and tired as she did when Ashfur was still alive!"

I let out a small hiss and immediately pulled my head away from Goldenshine. "Hey!" I called out to my daughter as I tried to push down anger.

"Goldenshine, not cool," Thornclaw then meowed sharply.

Goldenshine widened her eyes back at me. "It was supposed to be a joke!" she insisted.

"I'm not laughing," I muttered to her as I narrowed my eyes.

"Neither am I," Thornclaw immediately meowed after me. "Yes, surely Lilypetal is busy with her deputy duties, and – like Swiftflight – is freshly out of dealing with a crowfood-eating demon, but..."

Thornclaw then paused and nodded to me, bringing me to feel a wave of gratitude. He's letting me speak for myself... ugh, he is the best. "...But I'd rather not be told that I look like a thrush running around with its head missing."

Goldenshine let out a sigh, and luckily her eyes were apologetic. "You don't – in fact, you look fantastic. You always do."

"I concur," Thornclaw meowed to me, causing me to let out a purr and give him a quick lick on the cheek.

"I just meant that you probably haven't had much time to process everything," Goldenshine explained, her words sounding completely sincere. "Of course you look a little stressed and tired still, but I'm not judging you for it. It's normal!"

"Okay, now you're kissing up," I purred. When Goldenshine let out an offended gasp, I gave her a reassuring look and padded up to her so that I could touch my muzzle to her flank. "But thank you for explaining, Goldenshine. I see what you mean." But I hate that you are so right...

"I do too. About all of us," Snowstorm then meowed. "I mean, of course Swifty is having nightmares, and Lilypetal still is affected by it all-"

"What did you just call me?" Swiftflight cut it.

"But it's times like this that can give us... closure, I guess?" Another chill then ran down my spine as Snowstorm gestured forward, and I followed her gaze to see the stream and the waterfall in front of us, and the lake just slightly in view. "Well, here we are."

"Here we are," Swiftflight breathed, padding to the front of our group. "Hasn't really been touched since all five of us were here last, huh?"

"Yeah..." I breathed, frozen in my spot for a moment as I took in the space. Truly – it hadn't changed much at all. The shrubs and trees around had barely been touched, of course, the stream and waterfall were still flowing...

And best of all, there was that darned fallen birch tree that stretched across the stream, along with the one that Thornclaw pushed down after I messed with the one that Ashfur and I had been on. That same one we had our final confrontation on... when he told me he wasn't going to change... before we fought to the death.

I then gave a quick shake of my head, almost as if to stop myself from diving into these dark thoughts. Wow, Goldenshine is right... I thought to myself. It's all still so fresh... I really haven't been able to process it all fully.

In fact, I found I was having to keep my tail from twitching nervously as the five of us began to look around the area. Swiftflight and Snowstorm were sniffing out some of the shrubs while Goldenshine and Thornclaw were close to the waterfall and stream, staring down at the rumbling water.

"Great StarClan, that was quite a plan that you put together, Lilypetal," Thornclaw called out to me, bringing me to join my mate and my daughter at the stream. "I seriously don't know if anything else could have worked."

"I know," Goldenshine then sighed. "Imagine being so blinded by a crush that you can't think rationally."

Thornclaw and I both slowly turned our heads to give Goldenshine a narrowed-eyed stare.

She widened her eyes and immediately took a step away from her parents. "Excuse me! If I wasn't stupid, Swiftflight wouldn't be here right now!"

"That is true," I heard Swiftflight mutter.

"Thanks for being stupid," Snowstorm purred, nudging Swiftflight as he let out a sniff.

"But seriously," Goldenshine went on as she flashed me and Thornclaw a warning, annoyed look. "Squirrelflight was the key to getting Ashfur here, but you somehow had to keep him here after he found out it was all a ploy."

"Well, thank you!" I purred to my daughter. I then began to slowly shake my head. "It took moons of planning. It was so surreal actually getting to put it to action that night."

"Everything about that night was surreal," Swiftflight then meowed. The dark gray tom then let out a sigh and closed his eyes. "All of the cats we had to lose. Foxleap..."

Goldenshine flashed her son a wide-eyed look full of sympathy as she placed the tip of her tail on his shoulder. "Hollyleaf..." she then sighed.

"Ferncloud..." Snowstorm then meowed.

I then found myself letting out a shaky sigh. "...Firestar," I then murmured just barely above a whisper. The greatest leader ThunderClan could have had, I thought to myself as everyone around grew silent for a moment and dipped their heads. And while everyone in the Clan – his family, especially – will experience this loss so deeply, I am still grieving a lot. He was such a guide for me as I found my way here... after Mistpelt died...

I then began to shake my head, simultaneously exchanging a melancholy glance with Thornclaw – who, as always, seemed to know what I was thinking. Another wonderful soul that meant more to me than anything. Oh, how I miss you, mother.

A chill then ran down my spine as I continued to think of the gray fluffy she-cat, and all of the dreams she had sent me when I was in my darkest moments, when I felt so lost. Would I fully have had the courage to go after Ashfur without them? I asked myself. I then narrowed my eyes as I scanned them around the clearing, my eyes resting for a bit on each that was around.

And only after a moment, I gave a quick nod to myself, my heart swelling with love. Of course I would have, I then thought. But her dreams made me remember what it truly meant to be a warrior, as corny as it would sound to anyone. It meant so much to me.

I then was pulled out of my thoughts as Goldenshine padded up to Thornclaw and I, beckoning Swiftflight and Snowstorm over with her tail as well. "Oh, enough sadness," my daughter breathed – her eyes glossy as she clearly tried to force back her own grief. "What did Bramblestar want us to look for, Lilypetal?"

I gave a quick shake of my head, also bringing myself back into focus. "Right," I then meowed sharply as I gave a nod. I then let out a snort. "Honestly, he didn't clarify. He just said he's sensed some tension from WindClan cats that he's run into, and that he thinks something may be going on."

"I'm not sure if tension is necessarily something that's unwarranted right now... for any Clan," Swiftflight murmured as he glanced at the border. "We were all fighting some evil ghost cats around a moon ago, weren't we?"

"True," Snowstorm then meowed as she seemed to be suppressing laughter. "However, that doesn't mean that evil ghost cats are the only thing that will ever bring the Clans negative emotions from here on out."

Of course, Swiftflight let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "Wow, that never would have occurred to me. Thank you," the dark gray tom muttered icily. He then narrowed his gray-blue eyes and raised his muzzle to the air. "...Huh..." he then murmured.

"What's up?" Thornclaw then meowed, his own pale blue eyes narrowing as he brushed past me and walked up to Swiftflight.

"I definitely am catching something a bit weird," my kin replied. He then trotted up closer to the stream. "Aside from WindClan's border markers..."

I then let out an amused snort as Goldenshine wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, it smells like they set those down just a little while ago."

As my daughter was speaking, I couldn't help but give a flick of my ears after having taken a whiff of the air myself. "I... think I smell it too. Hold on."

I padded up to join Swiftflight at the stream, gaping my mouth open to fully try and grasp the scents around us.

What I was able to detect immediately made my stomach twist. "Weird..." I then murmured half to myself. "I think it's an animal, but it's nothing that I've ever smelled before." And I guess something I never wanted to smell, I thought to myself. Gosh, does that smell odd.

I then heard Thornclaw let out a snort behind me, and just a moment later, he was on the other side of me in front of the stream. "After the two different kinds of lives you've lived, that intrigues me..." my mate meowed before taking a sniff himself.

The four of us watched him with intrigue, anxious to hear what the most seasoned ThunderClan warrior – and the one who was the most border-patrol'd - out of all of us would have to say.

I couldn't help but flick my ears as I watched him give a flick of his tail and furrow his eyebrows. "Well, I think this one is stumping me too."

"I'm utterly confused!" Goldenshine purred as she gave a shrug.

"Maybe Snowflight had some idea, but I haven't got that to rely on anymore," Snowstorm then meowed as she exchanged an amused glance with Goldenshine. She then padded up closer to the stream and took another sniff. "Whatever it was, it hasn't been around here – or close to here in a while."

"I agree," I then meowed, giving a nod of gratitude to Snowstorm. "But nevertheless, I think this is enough to report back to Bramblestar."

"Definitely," Thornclaw agreed. "A strange animal would definitely be enough to bring an entire Clan some tension. Let's head back."

I let out a snort, flashing my mate a dramatically shocked, yet amused look. "Who died and made you leader of this patrol?" I teased to my mate as I gave him a flick on the ear.

I then had to suppress laughter as the golden brown tabby tom gave me an "annoyed" look through narrowed eyes. "My self-awareness, apparently," Thornclaw then muttered, and as I let out a mrrow of laughter, he let out a sigh and gave a nod to me. "Do you think we've found out what we needed to, Lilypetal?"

"Oh, yes," I purred. "I just wanted to be the one to say it."

And after I affectionately nuzzled Thornclaw's ear, I lashed my tail to the rest of the patrol – all of which were quietly purring with amusement – gesturing for them to follow me. "Let's go. Soon enough we'll all be heading to the Gathering, anyway!"

"After our hunting trip though!" Thornclaw then purred. I then flicked my ears with intrigue as he put his muzzle up to my ear. "Part of the reason why I'm anxious to get back to camp," he then whispered to me.

As I rolled my eyes and gave my mate an affectionate nudge, I heard Goldenshine let out a long, dramatic sigh. "Geez, I know that cats are supposed to be embarrassed by their parents..." Goldenshine began, and I turned around and purred as I saw her wrinkled nose. "But not like this."

"Oh, just be happy your parents love each other," I teased to Goldenshine through narrowed eyes.

Goldenshine sighed and gave a roll of her eyes. "You got me there," she then breathed. "I do agree though, let's go – I still need to check in with Nightwing and Dustystorm about coming to the Gathering tonight!"

"And I need to fix up me and Cherryfall's nest," Swiftflight then meowed, and I couldn't help but feel so much warmth in my heart when I saw how much his eyes gleamed. "I want it to be fresh and soft when we both get back tonight."

I then purred with amusement as I then noticed Snowstorm's wide blue eyes staring back at her best friend. Then, after a moment, she slowly turned her head to look at Goldenshine. "It's Lilypetal and Thornclaw you're worried about?"

"Shut up," Swiftflight then muttered, his teeth barred. He then slowly began to shake his head and pad forward. "Let's go."

All of us then shared more small purrs of amusement before finally making our trek back home. And as we did so, a soft glimmer of excitement seemed to tug at my whiskers. Hunting with Thornclaw—just the two of us, no apprentices tagging along or patrols to organize—felt like a tiny sliver of peace in my otherwise chaotic life. And StarClan knew, I could use a break from being "Lilypetal, ThunderClan's Stressed-Out Deputy."

I glanced at Thornclaw as we trotted side by side, his golden brown tabby pelt shining under the patches of sunlight that slipped through the tree canopies. He caught me looking and flashed a playful gaze my way, making my heart skip a beat.

The forest was thick with the earthy scents of leaf-fall, crisp and comforting, and I tried to soak it in, to breathe in the life around me and leave my worries behind. Again, I was with the cats around me that I cared about the most, and I was about to get a break and spend some time with one of the cats most precious to me, that I loved more than anything else. And it is these hunting trips with him that partly keep me sane.

But as we padded deeper into the trees, out of nowhere, I felt my chest begin to tighten. Shadows seemed to stretch longer, swallowing up the bright, familiar places between the roots and brambles. There was a heaviness, an eerie stillness, as though every tree was suddenly watching me – their gazes practically weighing down on my back.

Oh no, oh no. Not this again!

I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down – the only thing I could ever think to do in these situations, of course.

"Why is it so wrong for me to do something nice for Cherryfall?" Swiftflight seemed to be asking Snowstorm, his tail flicking as he scanned the dense underbrush.

"It's not at all! In fact, it's absolutely precious," Snowstorm reassured her friend, her whiskers twitching as she nudged him playfully. "I just... can't believe it. If I had once told you that you'd be acting like this, your vomit would be vomiting."

"That's... really gross," Swiftflight replied bitterly, though there was a hint of humor in his voice. "I think that Jayfeather needs to take a look at you."

Snowstorm swatted him with a purr of amusement. I couldn't help but let out a small purr myself, their banter pulling me back to the present, slightly easing the tightness in my chest.

But the tranquility didn't last. The shadows between the trees grew thicker, stretching long and ominous across the forest floor, and a chill prickled down my spine. I glanced around, hoping to shake off the unease, but it clung to me like a second pelt.

"Lilypetal?" Thornclaw's voice now broke through the growing fog in my mind. He was watching me, his pale blue gaze warm but cautious. "Everything alright?"

I opened my mouth to answer, to reassure him that I was fine, but the words caught in my throat as a dark figure slipped through the undergrowth, barely visible in the corner of my eye. My heart stuttered. The figure moved closer, and I could feel an intense, burning stare boring into me, colder than the leaf-fall air around us.

Ashfur.

No, it couldn't be. I was just imagining things, clearly.

But his face swam before me, twisted with hatred and a rage so fierce it left me breathless. I took a step back, eyes wide as I watched the vision unfold. He was prowling toward us, his eyes fixed not on me, but on Goldenshine. The dark shadow of his form closed in on my daughter, his claws unsheathed and gleaming in the half-light.

No... no, not her this time!

"Lilypetal?" Thornclaw's voice sharpened, tinged with concern, but it felt distant, muffled, like I was under water.

"Get away from her," I breathed, frozen in place. My claws dug into the ground as I fought against the urge to leap forward, to protect Goldenshine from the danger I could see creeping closer, though no one else seemed to notice it.

Goldenshine stopped walking and turned, her eyes narrowing in worry, yet she didn't seem to see the looming figure over her. "Lilypetal, are you alright?" she asked softly, her voice barely audible over the pounding in my ears.

But I couldn't pull my gaze away from Ashfur, from that twisted snarl and the malice simmering in his eyes. I tried to convince myself it wasn't real, that it was all in my head, but my legs were rooted in place, as if my body was convinced otherwise.

Swiftflight also paused after he noticed his own mother stop. He then followed her gaze, his gaze darkening once he noticed me. "What's wrong, Lilypetal?" he asked, his tone sharp and serious, his eyes betraying a flicker of unease. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

And he wasn't wrong—at least, not in my mind.

"Lilypetal, look at me." Thornclaw's voice was gentle but firm as he stepped in front of me, breaking my line of sight. His warm pale blue eyes bore into mine, steady and unwavering. "There's nothing there. Ashfur's gone, remember? Goldenshine is safe. He can't hurt any of us, not anymore." He brushed his tail across my back, grounding me, pulling me back from the edge of that terrifying vision.

I blinked, the dark figure fading from my mind, replaced by Thornclaw's reassuring gaze. I swallowed, heat rising to my face as I looked around, noting the way the others were watching me. Goldenshine's gaze was soft and understanding, while Snowstorm's was wide-eyed, her tail twitching as if she wasn't sure whether to come closer or keep her distance.

Swiftflight, on the other hand, gave me a skeptical look, his fur bristling slightly. "What happened, Lilypetal? Are you okay?"

I nodded slowly, forcing myself to breathe and close my eyes, to push past the lingering remnants of fear clinging to my chest. "I... I'm sorry. I thought I saw something... someone," I meowed, giving everyone a hinting look that everyone immediately understood. "But Thornclaw's right. It wasn't real." My voice came out quieter than I'd intended, and I fought to keep my head held high despite the shame prickling under my fur. Ugh, I cannot comprehend how crazy I probably just looked...

Because in reality, now that I had fully come to, I was certain that the "shadow" that I had witnessed looming over Goldenshine was just a large, pesky branch that fell behind her in just the right way.

"It's okay, mother. Really!" Goldenshine reassured me, though her eyes were still full of worry. "Trust me, if Ashfur was actually here and about to attack me, we would have ripped him to shreds already."

"The fact that you have to reassure me of that is insane," I then nearly growled.

"Oh, please," Goldenshine went on. "Of course your fears and memories are going to come back – we just were at the place where you fought him and stood face to face with his pure evil."

But you're not out here having visions about that pure evil.

I bit back my words, knowing for certain they were just coming out of my own frustrations. Instead, I meowed, "...No, yeah... that completely makes sense." Really had to bite back the bitter words there.

"I mean, absolutely," I then heard Swiftflight chime in. "After all that you've dealt with... like I said... it's never all fully going to leave you."

It's never all fully going to leave you. Terrifying.

"And I mean," Goldenshine then went on, "Your fatigue isn't going to help you either."

For StarClan's sake.

"Goldenshine," I then heard Thornclaw nearly bark at his daughter.

"Sorry."

I then forced myself to take a deep breath and open my eyes, and Thornclaw was right there, gazing at me with this soft, steady look, like he could read the storm raging in my head.

"Lilypetal," he murmured, his voice a comforting rumble, rich and warm like freshly caught prey. I could feel his breath on my fur, warm against the chill of my fear. "Maybe we should hold off on hunting." He nudged me gently, brushing his muzzle against my shoulder in that way he did, just enough to steady me without making me feel like he thought I was weak. "You know I want to spend time with you more than anything, but I think you need to just take it easy before the chaos of the Gathering."

Great. I felt my cheeks heat, embarrassed and guilty for worrying him and everyone else. "I'm fine," I mumbled, forcing myself to stand a bit taller. "Really, I am." I tried to give him a convincing nod, but honestly, I must've looked as unsteady as a newborn kit.

But Thornclaw just looked at me, his eyes filled with such genuine concern that my defense crumbled. "Please, Lilypetal," he said softly, flicking his tail across my back. "Let's just go back. You deserve some rest." His gaze softened further, and he added with a mischievous glint, "Besides, what's a little hunting without you by my side?"

"Please stop," I then heard Goldenshine mutter.

His words made my heart melt a bit, easing the knot of fear still tangled in my chest. Leave it to Thornclaw to be both protective and adorably cocky all at once. StarClan, why does he have to be so good at this?

I sighed, too worn out to argue with him, no matter how badly I wanted to pretend I could handle it all. "Alright," I said, letting out a long, reluctant breath, my voice coming out in a half-laugh, half-sigh. "You win. But just this once, alright?" Just. This. Once.

He chuckled, his pale blue eyes gleaming. "Just this once, deputy," he teased, winking at me. I felt my heart's pace begin to slow, despite the heaviness still lurking in my chest.

And as we continued to travel back, I could feel Thornclaw's eyes on me, steady and watchful, but I avoided his gaze. He'd meant well, trying to help me see reason, but I was angry at myself, at how easy it had been for Ashfur's shadow to worm its way back into my mind – cause freaking fake visions were trying to convince me that that idiot of a tom was still around.

And as we moved through the trees, I tried to shake off the memory, to tell myself it was just this place—the stream, the waterfall, those birch trees.... This was where so much had happened, after all. Yes, that is exactly it, I told myself. I should have been a little bit more cautious before coming here to the WindClan border at all. Of course it would bring up memories. That's it, right?

And I have to admit, Goldenshine is right. With how exhausted I've been plus all of the insanity that I've dealt with for so many moons... an uneasy vision seems like it's on the easier end of things.

I then gave a shake of my head. No time to decipher it, either way, I then told myself. Time to rest – hypothetical, maybe – and then take on tonight's Gathering.