Being around so many working starfighters again was a strange feeling. The whole platform was alive; repairs being done to a dozen ships at a time and pilots running across to their destination; the skies. Adrenaline pulsed in the air whilst everything moved at such a fast pace in preparation for yet another battle in the stars.

Mara could feel deep in her core a magnetism to it all. It was a pull she'd experienced since she was just a child. With just the mere sight of any one-man air born craft, it seemed her feet always led her towards it. The rush of flying was addicting, and she had been having withdrawals from the moment she crashed so long ago. The urge to reunite with her infatuation of being airborne may have overtaken her logic; she hadn't flown in years, and now was not the time for it.

But that definitely wouldn't stop her. The only thing that did is that she wouldn't trust anyone but herself to see Rey safe.

Still, she unconsciously stopped loading the bombs into the bag as her focus sucked into the atmosphere around her. The smell of oil dulled her senses as her eyes began to dart across the tarmac, watching with longing eyes the body of the Resistance mounted for war.

Mara ripped her attention away from the sight, forcing herself to keep to her work. Han had told her to start loading the bags with explosives while Finn went to retrieve a few more guns. Basically, they were going to stockpile themselves with firepower.

Mara

Her eyes flicked up from the small bombs, an effortless smile curving over her teeth as she saw her droid, "Hey BB. Where'd you run off to the last hour?"

Showing people the map

"Pretty important job. C'mon, it's time to load up before take off."

Goodbye

Mara's lip twitched, eyebrow shooting up at the astromech's comment, "What'dya mean?"

BB-8 rotated his lower body towards the tarmac, gesturing to the ships, I'm flying.

The blonde sighed, getting up and slinging a bag over her shoulder. She hadn't remembered that technically he was still Poe's droid. Over the last few days, she sort of protectively took ownership of him. It was a wonderful thing that his original master was still alive, but her heart sunk at the thought of BB-8 not accompanying the Millennium Falcon's crew on the last leg of their adventure.

So Mara offered a small smirk, bidding the device that had she'd somehow come to admire goodbye, "You take care of yourself and keep your cute little head down up there, okay? Also, don't let Dameron do anything to stupid."

That is a challenge harder than it sounds.

She chuckled lightly at that, gaze going up again once she heard Poe call, "C'mon pal!"

BB-8 became alert, turning his head towards the call. Mara followed his line of sight, watching Poe jog up to them, "We've gotta go."

"Better listen to him, bud." She urged, to which the astromech nodded.

Mara then stood up to briefly greet Dameron, setting the explosives down as she rung her hands together, "He's all yours again."

"Again?"

She shrugged, looking between Poe and BB-8, "Well, we all thought you were dead, so I took the liberty of sort of adopting him? Me and Rey didn't want the little guy to be all alone."

He smiled, patting the droid beside him fondly, "Thanks. I doubt this guy would've made it this far without you all."

Excuse me-

"Yeah, yeah tough guy." Mara quelled, shaking her head back towards the platform, "Go on now, 'Order's not gonna wait on us."

BB-8 bowed his head as his last sign of farewell, making a small noise that brought her an odd comfort once he sped off to load onto one of the many X-wings. By the Maker, she hoped he would come out of the other end of this perfectly intact. She'd already formed a bond with the cherubic machine that may be fonder than some of her organic relationship.

Mara's line of vision shifted over to Poe, who kept his distance despite not wanting to part with her just yet. When both realized neither of them had said anything, he swallowed thickly and took a small step closer, "Look, about the whole not believing you on the plan thing, I'm sorry. This looks like it gonna work-"

"Then you can thank me when it does." She exhaled, grateful for the apology yet knowing time was running short, "No hard feelings."

Relief broke through the pilot's apprehension and whatever tension between them blew over like smoke, "I'll see you at the end of this then."

She offered back up a simple grin as she knelt back down to continue her work, "Don't know what else to say besides 'Have fun'."

Dameron had begun to stray back to the tarmac, finding her bid amusing, "Going to destroy the galaxy's biggest threat and that's what you go with?"

"Hey, if we survive this, it will be just a whole bunch of fun." She tilted her head to the side, pursing her lips together as she loaded another bomb into the bag.

"Fair enough point. Missing the skies too much?" Dameron's voice rose, carrying farther as he got further away.

The mention of having the chance to fly again slip by was enough for her too almost fall back into the torturous trance. She glanced back at the sight of a dozens ships preparing to launch, a nostalgia settling over her once more. A tug in her gut called her back to metal wings and engine oil, but she ignored that to respond, "Way too much, but I gotta go get her."

Mara could see Poe's head dip, understanding her reason for not at least attempting to try and fly again. As she saw him go, some terrible idea played on her heartstrings and it nearly physically pained her to think of an alternative where his ship didn't touch back down on D'Qar after this battle. They'd just found each other again, miraculously both alive, in the midst of this war.

Words from their last parting fell on her lips as she yelled out, "Hey Poster Boy!"

Poe whipped around at the old nickname to see Mara shake her head at the sheer ridiculousness of what she was about to say. But she hollered out anyway for good luck, "May the Force be with you!"

He nodded in acknowledgement of her send-off, wearing a stupidly wide grin that made her realize how much she had missed the Resistance pilot. She watched him turn away, seeing him run into Finn. She smiled at the small interaction they had, finally having to divert her gaze away from the platform and back to her work.

Within a few moments she found her bag full, standing up to haul the load into the Falcon as Finn arrived with a few more guns next to her, "So what do we got?"

He handed her a rifle with a fresh charge, which now equipped the woman with five weapons; this, the blaster on her hip, batons, vibro-knife, and her fists. She slung it over her shoulder and neck, letting hang tight against her back as Finn answered, "Few of those, saw Chewbacca wandering around with that crossbow, Han's got his pistol, and I've still got the rifle from earlier. You on the other hand? I've only seen special tac teams wear that many things designed for damage."

Mara slightly snorted, "I've been carrying around batons and an empty blaster the last few years, I making up for it now. Besides, backups are always good."

"I think you're just weighing yourself down." Finn knelt to begin his share of packing the bags of explosives, "All that's going to slow you down when running, and trust me, we'll be running at some point."

She sucked in a breath, curling a lip as she hesitantly found herself agreeing with him, "Gotta point there."

Finn's rather triumphant smile made it look as if he was about to give some smartass quip back, but instead he hadn't put enough focus to his work. One of the bombs dropped from his hands to meet the ground as Mara instinctively backed away.

"Careful with those, they're explosives." Han warned, both of the younger of the group's heads moving to look as he passed. Finn sighed, looking down on the fallen object with an odd sort of disappointment.

"Now you two tell me."

Mara wouldn't have bit back a small laugh, but found herself watching the captain go off towards the side of the Falcon. She spotted the very characteristic hair design of General Organa, presumably wishing her estranged husband a successful run. Her stomach twisted, not only reminding her of how she'd barely eaten in days, but of the revelation she locked back; Kylo Ren was their child.

Their child had taken her best friend.

She put her head down, light hair falling down the sides of her face to conceal what she knew was a guilty expression. Her mouth pressed together, swallowing briefly the bile that rose in her throat before walking up the ship's ramp. The weight of her stance made the metal groan at impact while she headed farther into the Falcon, stopping short of cockpit to set the bag down.

"Hey Chewbacca." Mara greeted, noticing an extensive amount of hair coming from the co-pilot's seat. A soft roar was sent her way, but the Wookie was quite focused on the panel before him.

She didn't think to much of his lazy reply, instead taking a quick overview of the shop once more. She spotted the table where she left her worn satchel, delicately grinning as soon as she placed her hands on it. The threadbare leather was cracking, ragged edges caked with sand and patches were bleached a lighter brown by Jakku's harsh sun. She absentmindedly played with the only button, barely kept together and in need of new thread. She found herself opening the pocket, soon met by oddly bent metal.

The Alderaanian coin soon was in her palm, calloused fingertips tracing it's indentations. It's original round shape had become deformed with years of ware. It was useless now, the currency loosing its value the minute the planet burst into a swath of asteroids.

Heads for her, tails for Rey.

Mara's mind found its way back to the destroyed Hosnian system. She witnessed the massacre of billions within a matter of seconds. She thought of her brother sending the order for such a crime. How could someone do that? Kill so many?

She helped the First Order do that. She contributed to wiping five planets off the star map.

The blonde gripped the coin in her hand, sitting down on the upholstery near the table. She brought her legs up, criss-crossing them as her spine curved forward. She closed her eyes, drawing in enough oxygen to keep from working herself into some fit of emotions. She'd had enough of those in the last few hours to last her awhile.

Right now work to get Rey. Having debates with yourself over your own morality can come later.

But that was easier said than done. Callisto was right. Taking her mother's maiden name and omitting the one that told of her involvement with the First Order didn't suddenly erase what she did. She helped create that super weapon, or at least aiding it without completely knowing. But that was just it, she willingly aided it.

"Bag full?"

Mara's raised her head back up, opening her eyes to see Han Solo make his way to cockpit. He didn't spare her a glimpse in her direction as he sat down in the captain's chair.

"Yep." The woman replied, combing a piece of her hair behind her ear, "Finn has the controller."

She heard a grunt for an acknowledgement of her reply, busy sounds of switches being flipped and the engine coming to life. Mara let her legs feet meet the ground, back leaning against the wall of the ship.

Han's conversation with Organa earlier replayed in her head, ominous statements giving away a horrendous truth. Her head begin to pain just thinking about it, reverting back to that monster - that human - prowling though her conscious with ease. Violating the most safest and private of space, her own free thinking in an effort just to extract vengeance.

We lost our son forever.

A deep breath ghosted past her lips, and her words were uttered before her mind had time to relive the stupidity of it all, "I overheard your conversation with the General in the Command Center."

An abnormal silence commenced once Mara's gut jerking comment surfaced thick in the air. It was like aimlessly throwing a grenade in a small space and awaiting the blast, yet only to be delayed. Mara felt goosebumps pinprick her skin, blinking and internally chiding herself for such an idiotic time and place to blurt out such inconsiderate words.

I know your son is a mass murderer.

She observed Han go unnaturally rigid, neck twisting sideways to view his friend. Chewie seemed oblivious to it all, either that or ignoring the blatantly awkward confrontation.

The woman immediately expected some sort of violent counter, vocal or physical. In her experience, spewing foolish things (a bad habit of hers) usually brought about foolish behavior, and many resented her for it. Mara didn't know Han, so she went with her instinctual habit of expecting some type of attack.

Yet the older man only sighed. The action racked his body, revealing his tiredness and anguish on the subject. Solo merely found her gaze, "You know then."

She cautiously nodded. Another weary exhale while she prepared a question that had never left her mind since the attack on Takodana.

"Will he kill Rey?"

More eerie quiet. The atmosphere grew increasingly tense, at least from Mara's perspective. But the answer to such a inquiry may ease her overactive mind, which busied itself with too many scenarios. It also may confirm her worst fear.

Han rubbed the back of his neck, the weight of her proposition heavy. He spun the pilot's chair away from the woman, eyes finding the lush, rolling hills from afar instead of her pleading stare. He wished with every atom that made him that the boy he once knew resided on the opposing side of a warmongering mask, "I don't know."

"I'm sorry."

He found an downcast, ironic frown at that. Guilt wore on him, hearing about what his son had done to the girl in the forest. To so many before that for so long, to what he would do, "Me too."

~~~~~~

Finn had arrived aboard as soon as the Falcon's engines were prepped, taking a seat beside Mara once they took off. The mood of tension had begun to pass since she had blurted out such a dense declaration. She still remained quite a bit silent, reflecting on Han's words.

How long had the man have to watch the child he raised twist into such a monster?

It was painful. To beat decades long of oppression, to survive a war against such a atrocious enemy only to have your own kid become the symbol of it's rose from the ashes.

Mara couldn't imagine it. Perhaps her mother, maybe her aunt would understand, considering her and her only sibling joining the First Order. She shuddered unconsciously thinking it over.

Then came the doubts of Rey even being alive right now. Solo didn't know. Who could? Maybe she was dead.

No no no, bad thought. Stop.

She brought her legs to her chest, tattered boots muddying the leather without thinking. Her chin sat on knees, fingers still wrapped around the ancient currency. Her lonesome stare drifted over to Finn, who she now realized seemed more anxious than usual.

A pang of sympathy crawled over her as she observed the deep crease in his forehead. His shoes drummed against the floor, worried eyes full of agitated fear. His disturbed stare emulated his fretful state of mind.

Mara found herself grasping his arm, his meager tremors traveling to her bones. His first action was to pull back, but she had a firm grip. Finn didn't meet her gaze, trying best he could to keep his heavier breaths quiet. The stagnant silence filled both with something Mara hadn't felt for many years; the initial dread of battle. It was a sickly poison in her gut, weighing down her lungs so it made it ever so slightly harder to breath.

Mara licked her lips, working her jaw as she herself took a long sigh. She knew the First Order and it's fierce power, but in her short time there she was treated with its highest luxuries. Her pilots? She'd occasionally see peaks into their lives, consisting of hard bunk beds and constant training.

Here was Finn, running back right into the jaws of the monster that raised him. Did he only know a stormtroopers helmets and thousands of days training? No wonder he wanted to run. But now? Now he was going right back in. After everything they did to him, he was going back for Rey.

So Mara forced words out, not too many, similar to those he had told her while she unraveled on the forest's floor. She couldn't tell if they were true or not, "We're going to find Rey. They're not going to take us back. They're not going to take you back."

Finn's cut nod came right off the heels of her assurance, inhaling deep so his chest bellowed out, "Yeah. Yeah, we've got this."

"Uh huh." She released her hold on his forearm, trying to put more sincerity in her words, "We've got this; weapons, a walking fur ball of destruction, me, a Resistance backing us."

His lips spread into an blameless smile, his breathing slower as he bobbed his head. More assurance lifted up his posture, "When you put it like that, doesn't sound to bad."

~~~~~~~~

How Mara found herself on the ground curled up in a ball with a Wookie roaring in her ear as the Millennium Falcon burst through the trees of a weaponized planet (added with Han Solo's worried bickering and Finn's noises of dread) was entirely beyond her.

The sheer force of coming out of hyperspace so fast and promptly shooting straight upwards to avoid becoming ruble on the side of a mountain had knocked her off her feet, and she dared not get up as alarms blared around her. The ship plowed into a forest, large branches snapping off the impact and bouncing the Falcon around.

"If I get any higher, they'll see us!" Han shouted back at Chewbacca, who chorused worried protests in his native language.

Through an eruption of pine and spindling branches, Mara's view from the ground cleared to cerulean sky. A flurry of white threw up in front of them, mixed with sudden flashes of green and thumps of brown wood beating against the metal. The floor dived, causing her body to rack and muscles tense for a second she was suspended in air. She hit the ground with a thud, the earsplitting shrieks of the Falcon's base scrapping against rock overwhelming her. The helm slammed into the snow, skidding a few hundred yards. The vehicle finally came to a canted stop, which sent her already pained back straight into the rods of the pilot's chair.

It took a minute for Mara to stop shaking and steady her breaths, getting back on her feet after such a ride as Finn questioned Han, "That was your plan!?"

"Worked, didn't it?"

They'd arrived at Starkiller.

high key excited to finish this book in the next month or so so i can move on to working on other things, hiGH key sad to let my mara go. bUT I HAVE SO MUCH IN STORE FOR Y'ALL GET READY

also quick note; @SelenaBarrow12 brought to my attention General Hux's real name is Armitage, not Brendol. When I first started this book, his first name wasn't released but his father's was, so I chose that. I will refer to him as Armitage now and fix the mistake in editing.

could edit more, could sleep or keep writing unknown enemy. brb guys