Naiwan akong nakatulala sa loob ng opisina. My tears won't stop from falling and my heart is breaking. Mas lalo lang lumakas ang iyak ko nang makita ko siyang tumalikod at lumabas.

This is what I want,right? Pero bakit masakit? Bakit mas masakit pa ito kaysa noong unang naghiwalay kami? Seeing him walking away from me is like

I hate seeing him leave like it is easy for him. But that's what I want kaya sinunod niya ang gusto ko. Kaya anong iniiyak-iyak ko? Gusto ko ito at kailangan kong panindigan.

I composed myself and retouch my make up. Sasabay ako kina ahia mag-lunch ngayon at kailangan ko rin kausapin si Hymier. Kararating lang nila ahia kanina at dito na sa resort didiretso para sa tanghalian.

Nang dumating ako sa restaurant ay nandoon na silang tatlo at nakaorder na rin ng pagkain.

"How was your work as an acting CEO?"tanong ni Ashton.

Tumingin siya sa akin bago ninalingan ng masama ang pinsan na nasa tabi ko.

Hymier just rolled his eyes boredly.

"What is your problem really,Hymier? Dad sent us back here because you're not in your state right now. What happened?"seryusong tanong ni Alaric.

Hymier looked away.

"W-wala nga...bakit ba kasi nandito kayo akala ko ba abala kayo sa manila?"iritado pa niyang sagot.

"Because of you! Tito asked our help to help you with that international investor dahil wala ka sa sarili noong presentation mo kaya hindi natuwa sa iyo. Ano ba kasi problema mo? We can help you all the damn time and you know that!"tumaas na rin ang boses ni Ashton kaya nag-alala ako baka mag-away sila.

"The last time you were like this is when Syneca died."

Hymier immediately stood up and hold Alaric in his collar. Umiigting din ang kanyang panga at namumula ang mukha hanggang leeg dahil sa galit.

"How dare you include her here!"galit na saad ni Hymier at akmang susntukin ang pinsan.

"Sahia!"

"Hymier!"

Sabay naming bigkas ni Ashton at tumayo na rin kami para awatin sila. Lahat tuloy ng tao sa restaurant kasama ang mga crew ay naktingin sa amin.

"Stop it you two! Ano ba!?"saway ni Ashton habang hawak na niya si Hymier at nilalayo sa isa.

Ako naman ang pumipigil kay Alaric na ngayon ay nakangisi pa na tila nang-aasar. This guy is really pissing off Hymier kaya hindi na nakapagtala kung masuntok na naman ito.

"Because it is true!"nakurot ko tuloy siya sa tagiliran dahil sumagot pa.

"Can we all calm down,please?"mahinahon kong pakiusap. "Pinagtitinginan na tayo ng mga guests."

"Iyang kapatid niyo ang pagsabihan niyo kung ayaw niyang makatikim ng kamao ko."

"Will you seat down,Ric?!"sabay tulak ni Ashton sa kanya.

Nakangisi lang ito na parang tuwang-tuwa pa dahil sa ginalit niyang pinsan.

"There's this only one reason why a person is in trouble and mess. You are broken hearted,are you?"

Minsan talaga gusto ko nalang lagyan ng busal ang bunganga ni Alaric. Pero kasi palaging tama ang hinala niya. Sa aming tatlo,he is the most honest and observant. And everything that comes out from his mouth were always true.

"So what it is with you?!"galit na singhal din ng isa na siyang ikinataas ng kilay ng kapatid ko.

Alaric shrugged his shoulders and stand up.

"Ahia,he needs to fix himself first before we help him fix his business. I can't help a person who's deprived from sleep and food. Ayusin mo nga iyang sarili mo,mukha kang basahan at hindi CEO." he said that before leaving us in our table.

Napahimalos naman ng mukha si Hymier bago yumuko at sinabunutan ang sarili. I also heaved a sigh and lean my back at the backrest.

God! What was just happen?

Tumayo si Ashton matapos masahihin din ang kanyang sentido at tinabihan ang pinsan at tinapik ang balikat. Hymier look up to him and shook his head na tila ba may ginawang mali sa pinsan.

Hindi na namin pinag-usapan pa ang nangyari. We just order our food and eat silently. Panala-naka rin silang nag-uusap tungkol sa negosyo at hinayaan ko lamang iyon.

We finished our lunch na hindi na bumalik si Alaric. Hindi naman iyon galit,kilala ko siya at ayaw niya lang na may nasasaktan sa amin at may napariwara. He always knock our senses and I love him for being like that.

After the accident happened to Ashton,he always take care of us.Siya na ang tumayong panganay sa aming tatlo and he would always make sure that we are comfortable with everything. At kahit malayo iyang si Hymier sa amin noon,he would always check him.

Hindi naman nila matitiis ang isa't niyan,mamaya o bukas ay magkakabati na ulit ang mga iyan.

I busied myself checking the files sent by Hymier the whole afternoon. Hindi ko alam kung maaawa ba ako ky Hymier o maiinis dahil sa ponanggagawa niya sa sarili but at the same I understand him. Been there and it was really hard to be broken.

"Si Cash po?"I asked ate Gina when I arrived at home.

"Nasa garden,ma'am,nagddrawing po. Kukuha lang ako ng meryenda niya."

"Pasali na rin ako ate Gina,susunod ako sa garden."

"Sige po."

Tumango ako at nagpaalam na aakyat at magpapalit ng damit.

I joined Cashania in the garden. Naabutan ko siyang nagd-drawing kaya tumabi ako sa kanya.

"Wow! You can almost perfect your human,anak... where did you learn that?"puri ko sa kanya.

Simula noong pumapasok na siya sa school ay ang laki na ng improvement niya pagdating sa pagsulat at drawing.She can finally identify the numbers til one hundred.

"Tatay taught me po." she simply said that pero natigil ako.

What did she said? Her what?

"W-who?" ulit ko kasi baka nabingi lang ako sa narinig mula sa kanya.

"Tatay po." she said again while looking at me this time.

Gosh,did she really called Casimir tatay?

"We talked earlier,nanay...and my heart felt light. It's opening again for him,it is willing to give him a chance,nanay."

Parang may nabunot na tinik sa dibdib ko ng marinig ko iyon. I've always pray for this to happen and I am happy to jear her thought about opening her heart to her father again.

Cashania is the sweetest and smartest kid I know. Kaya expected naman na mapagbibigyan niya talaga ang ama,hindi ko lang inaasahan na  matatagalan ng dalawang buwan.

"How do you feel about it?" I asked.

I want her to feel comfortable about it.

"I feel happy at the same time excited to spend time with him. He promised to come back after work so I'm looking forward to it."

Kita ko kung paano kumislap ang kanyang mata habang sinasabi niya iyon. She's genuinely happy and I am for her. Atleast,she will feel the love of a father now.

"I am happy for you,anak. I'm sorry if it took me years to decide for this..."

Though I am guilty because of my decisions before but I think that was the best decision for us.

"It's okay,nanay...I am happy before with only you,titos,granny and grandpa and I'm hundred times happier knowing that I have a tatay."

She's smiling widely and it melt my heart seeing her that happy.

"I love you so so much,my Cashania."

"I love you so so much,nanay."

She hug me tight after that and I even squeeze her too dahil sa gigil ko.

We took our time there in the garden. I helped her with her assignments and drawings. She even drew a family and a house at the back of her drawing. It's a simple drawing but I fully undertand what she mean by it.

Her mood continue until our dinner time. Ni hindi man lang siya nakipag bangayan sa tiyuhin niya at kumain lamang ng matiwasay. O baka dahil wala rin sa mood si Alaric kaya ganoon.

"How was your check up,ahia?" I asked Ashton.

He took a deep breath.

"Still no improvement."

Ashton suffered from a retrogated amnesia for years now and still no improvement. May kaunti pero iyong memories niya years ago dito sa San Vicente ay hindi na niya maalala. Iyon pa naman ang pinaka importante sa lahat pero iyon ang nakalimutan niya.

Pinag-usapan namin iyon hanggang sa matapos kami sa pagkain. Umasa nalang ako na sana isang araw may mag trigger sa kanya at paunti-unting may maalala. I don't want him hurt but if it's the only way for him to remember,worth it naman siguro.

He's one of the reason why I want to go back here in San Vicente. And I want him to be happy again and the only way is to make him remember everything.

"Can you give me the remote,anak?" I asked Cashania to hand me the television's remote control.

It's friday at walang  pasok bukas kaya ayos lang na hindi matulog ng maaga. Hindi rin naman ako inaantok at ganoon din si Cashania.   Still early too for us to sleep kaya magpapaantok muna ako.

Palipat-lipat ako ng channel at hinahanap ang news nang natapat na sa tamang channel ay halos magunaw ang mundo ko dahil sa binabalita.

"Patay ang anim na miyembro ng isang kilalang grupo ng mga bandido sa sitio Talisay sa bayan ng San Vicente. Walo naman ang sugatan sa miyembro ng sundalo kabilang na si Lieutenant Colonel Casimir Cervantes..."

Kasunod ng balita na iyon ay pinakita rin ang mga sundalo na binubuhat gamit ang stretchers. I saw how Casimir's body covered by blood. At khit nakapikit ang mga mata ay klaro sa mukha niyang nasasaktan.

My hands tremble in fear and my knees automatically wobble. What is happening? Kaya ba ganoon ang pananalita niya kanina dahil sasabak siya sa giyera?

Oh God,Casimir! What did you do this time?

Hindi ko na maintindihan ang sumunod na binabalita dahil hindi na rin klaro sa akin ang mga sinasabi ng reporter. My tears immediately stream down my cheeks.

"Nanay..."

Hindi ko na pinansin ang tawag sa akin ni Cashania dahil sa panginginig ko.

"Shan..."

Nakarinig ako ng mga yapak galing sa hagdan at alam kong ang mga kapatid ko iyon. I am sure that they also saw the news kaya sila nagmadaling bumaba mula sa mga kwarto nila.

Lumuhod si Ashton sa harap ko at hinawakan ang mga nanginginig kong kamay.

"Hey...Shan...look at me." I followed. "Calm down...you're trembling."

Bumuhos muli ang panibagong luha sa aking mga mata. How can I calm down when I saw how blooded Casimir is?

I shook my head and cry again.

"Ric,prepare the car please...bring Cash with you too. I will let her calm down first and we will go to the hospital."

Cashania is crying too.

"Shan...look at me,please..." kalmadong tawag ni Ashton. "Breath,Shan...we can't help Casimir if you're like this. Please,I want you to breath, okay? Now,breath in..." I follow what he told. "Breath out."

He repeatedly said that and I obligedly followed.

Nang makalma na ako ng kaunti ay inalalayan niya akong uminom ng tubig na inabot ng kasambahay na nagising din ata dahil siguro sa ingay namin or dahil nakita rin nila ang balita.

Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas ng medyo nakakahingi na ako ng maayos.

"You okay now?"

Alanganin man ay tumango ako. Wala na akong ibang gustong gawin kundi ang mapuntahan si Casimir kung saang hospital man siya dinala ngayon.

"Please,Ash...let's go to Casimir,please."

He nodded immediately. Inalalayan niya pa akong tumayo at pinaulit akong huminga bago magdesisyong lumabas.

Please Casimir,don't do this to me and Cashania.

It was a lie when I told you that only Cashania need you. It was a lie when I told you I don't love you anymore. Kailangan ka pa ni Cashania at kailangan pa kita. We need you,langga.

Hindi ko kakayanin na mawala ka ulit sa amin.

Huwag ganito.

Hindi ko kakayanin.