Name: Maplepool

I like it. (Totally not being biased because I love maple everything) 8/10

RFP: Some of her fur is the brown-ish color of maple, which planted the idea of the prefix "Maple" into her parent's minds.

Alright

RFS: She would often head to a pond that seemed like a pool to Twolegs. That eventually led to the idea of "Pool" as her suffix.

Okay, but why would the leader always know of this? Or did she just request it? 3/5

Appearance: Maplepool is a matted-furred, long hair Snowshoe-Maine Coon breed. Her main fur color is light brown, leaving her legs and rather small paws to be a bright white color while her small ears, muzzle, jaw, and tail tip is a wolf-grey color. She sees through eyes that are a fiery amber color.

A good use of words for the description, and pretty good one overall. Height? 4/5

Personality: Maplepool is a rather kind and caring soul who just wants to help others. However, she's overly sensitive and has a heart made of glass (not literally). She gets upset over the littlest things and is often called a "Sensitive soul". 

Okay, there could be a lot more added on to this, but decent. 7/10

Mate: Maplepool is currently mates with a tom called Mistylight, a rather small, pessimistic light grey warrior with large paws, long tail and a scar on his nose bridge, along with emerald green eyes.

Now this was a really good description. Keep this up and you could have a very high grading! 5/5 (Oh, and I like the name.)

Kits/children: Maplepool has two kits/children. Two toms named Eaglepaw and Hawkpaw. Eaglepaw mainly took after his mother, light brown fur with white legs, paws, etc. But, instead of having small ears and paws, he took his father's large paw size, emerald green eyes and average sized ears. Meanwhile, Hawkpaw is a mix of both of them. He has a light grey pelt with white legs, small paws, long tail and muzzle. Along with Maplepool, he has amber eyes.

This kind of seems normal for what a pair of kits would be... any special disorders? 3/5

Friends In The Clan -

Hazelwhisker - A short-haired tortoiseshell she-cat with somewhat spiky fur. Her hazel eyes shine with pity for her fallen clanmates. She has a calm, serious demeanor, unless she's put under pressure. She then begins to become sassy, and somewhat of a snob.

Sandywing - A pale ginger tom with darker ginger stripes on his back, shoulders and tail. He has dirt brown eyes, to which is full of optimism. Unlike Hazelwhisker, Sandywing has a more goofy demeanor. He is immature and never realizes the worst in things. The only time where he isn't being his goofy self, is when he's extremely anxious.

Briarfrost - A long-haired black she-cat with white spots dripped into her pelt. Because of her father's betrayal to Breezeclan, her ice blue eyes shine with hatred towards everyone but her trusted allies. She is quite rude, to be honest. She makes fun of everyone, even herself at times. She doesn't respect anyone, except for her leader (mainly because she wants to gain Mossstar's trust, kill the current deputy and then become the new deputy) and her trusted allies (Maplepool, Hazelwhisker and Sandywing).

I feel bad for Sandywing..... So is everyone evil because Briarfrost intends to kill the deputy? Or am I just overthinking things? 8/10

Gender: She-cat (Overused, I know)

Okay, and it's fine.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Alright..... (Eye twitch)

Flaws: Overly sensitive, could be stubborn at times.

Okay

Skill(s): Maplepool is skilled at gathering moss for elders. I know, it isn't that cool, but it's considered very useful to her clan. Breezeclan lives in an area that doesn't really have much moss, so that fact that Maplepool can sneak into an ally clan's territory and gather moss helps her clan out a lot.

.................... No comment

Enemies -Leaffall - An impatient, sleek furred, short-haired black tom with dark grey ears, muzzle, jaws and tail. His demeanor bothers Maplepool a bunch, so she tries to help him change his attitude. He is quite impatient and disrespectful to anyone and everyone. His leader, mate, kits, you name it. It got so bad that Maplepool gave up on him, saying that he'll never be a functioning warrior if he keeps acting like a sassy apprentice.

Coolio

Favorite Color: Maplepool's favorite color is currently yellow. The reason for this is because, in her opinion, yellow is the color of happiness. It fills Maplepool with happiness whenever she sees it.

Alright.

Deformities: >none<

K

Allergies: Maplepool is allergic to pollen. It makes her sneeze uncontrollably, along with making her feel a bit uneasy.

Nice.

Disorders: Maplepool has no known disorders. Although, she has shown symptoms of ADH

Ooooo fun.

Clan: Breezeclan - An extremely small clan, that has, at most, 24 cats. It is located in the rocky mountains, with only a little section of grass. It mainly feeds off of newts and lizards, sometimes if they feel risky, they'll sneak into their ally clan's territory to hunt for bigger prey, like rabbits for example.

Okay, maybe a bit larger description of the territory: Landmarks and stuff like that. 7/10

Rank: Warrior

Okay. 5/5

Favorite Place: The small pond that she often heads to. The reason why she'd leave her clan's territory and head to enemy clan territory (aka Driftclan - A clan that's mainly surrounded by lakes, ponds, rivers, etc. They're about 1,345 steps north-east to Breezeclan territory/borders) is mainly because when her greatest grandmother was a Driftclan warrior, she discovered that same exact pond. That's all that Maplepool has from and knows about her.

Okay, that was pretty good, especially the reasoning. 5/5

Favorite Hobby: Maplepool's favorite hobby is taking care of queen's kits when they're unable to. Might sound... Weird, but she is a friend to everyone (besides Leaffall) and will help anyone and everyone in need. An example of this is when the Breezeclan deputy, Spottedpelt, had kits. Instead of having a temporary deputy, Maplepool decided to take care of her kits until they were old enough to become apprentices. That was the start of this hobby of hers.

A bit Mary-Sue-ish........ but alright. 3/5

Family -

Doesight - A golden-brown, silky, short-haired she-cat that Maplepool got her small paws and ears from. Just like her daughter, Doesight has wolf-grey legs, paws, tail tip. Instead of having amber eyes, however, she has bright yellow eyes that are as bright as the sun. (Maplepool's mother)

Dustyheart - A light brown tom with white spots splashed into his fur. He has about average features and beautiful deep blue eyes. (Maplepool's father)

Tornstep - A short, raven black tom with multiple fresh scars on his back, face, you name it. He has quite large paws, stubby tail and missing his right eye. Before he lost his eye, he had heterochromia. Meaning that his left eye was amber while his right was pastel green. (Adopted brother)

I like the descriptions. Good job. 8/10

Backstory (I will make this as short as possible) -Maplepool had quite an average backstory. Was brought into Breezeclan by Doesight and Dustyheart, trained for six moons as a warrior's apprentice, the usual. The most interesting thing that happened in her life was the battle of an extinct clan's territory;Maplepool's fiery amber eyes expanded as she saw multiple Driftclan warriors rip apart her clan. She couldn't move, it seemed like she was paralyzed out of fear. The lizards she had caught dropped from her jaw as Leaffall ran towards her. He pinned Maplepool onto the rocky floor, a sharp piece stabbing her in her side. Maplepool yowled out of pain as Leaffall sliced her stomach open, ruby red blood pouring out. Maplepool gasped out of shock as she kicked him off.

Don't be afraid to make your backstory an entire page, just so long as you get everything. I say put more of her actual life in, and not just an cool event. 6/15

Pretty good OC, very good detail, and then it kinda died at the Backstory. I would say try to work on that a bit more; have a better idea of what your OC has gone through and how it will affect her future.

Final score......... 72/100!