Name: Hopeshine

Okay, I think I may have mentioned that I don't like names that fit together in the passing, but....... 8/10

Name reasons: (prefix) Hope-- because the clan was running out of gatherers(see rank) and she was the only one in her litter so the clan hoped she would be good enough. (Suffix) shine-- because she turned out to be a very good gatherer(see rank) and passed all her clans expectations.

Could you possibly elaborate a bit more? This kinda lacks detail... 2/5

Appearance: White and gray she-cat with purple eyes

A LOT more detail is needed here, paw size, gaze appearance, demeanor, that kind of stuff. 1/5

Personality: Strict and Talented

Again, TONS more detail needed. Maybe provide examples of when or how she is strict? 5/10

Mate: Snowshimmer; white she-cat with blue eyes (Blind)

You know the drill. More detail. 2/5

Kits: none

Okie 5/5

Friends in clan: Frecklewhisker; light brown she-cat with white speckles. Emberfoot; dark gray she-cat with red eyes (witch she was born with) Alderstep; Small blueish tom with gray eyes. Skypaw; big, light brown she-cat with frosty blue eyes

Again. more detail. 6/10

Gender: She-cat

K

Sexuality: Bi

Okie

Flaws: She does not like Jay-burgers

I-WHAT! THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE. (Also nice to see a fellow watcher of Akira)

Skills: Swimming, navigating caves, climbing

Okay

Enemies: unknown

Mhm

Favorite color: silver

K

Deformities: None

Coolio

Allergies: Jay burgers

I-We need to take her to the psychiatrist.

Disorders: None

K..... Uhhhh not liking Jayburgers?

Clan: Rainclan; A peaceful group with no need to fight, they live in the safety of their cave witch is behind a waterfall (Not the tribe of rushing water, they live in a forest)

Okay, any other surrounding clans? 7/10

Rank: Gatherer; the gatherers don't fight but instead they only hunt.

Coolio. 4/5

Favorite place: The Waterfall clearing (The clan has a clearing in the caves and right outside of them)

Okay, good. A bit more detail on exactly what she likes about it? 3/5

Favorite Hobby: Swimming in the river

Alright, does she do it alone or with a friend? 3/5

Family: Mother- Swallownose; pale gray she-cat with blue eyes, Father- diseased, Litter mates- none

I'm not gonna be picky, but could you add the father's description, even if he is deceased? 6/10

Backstory: Hopeshine was born in the dark times, when her clan was falling low on cats, they only had 4 gatherers and the other clans where threatening to kick them out of their territory. Her mother, Swallownose, had a litter to try to bring the population up. Sadly she only had one kit and she named her Hopekit. Hopepaw was forced so go through rough training and many cats wanted her to have kits with a young cat: Alderstep. She became a great gatherer and was honored by her clan. Then the kit boom hit and all the she-cat in the can was having kits, all but Hopeshine and Snowshimmer.

That's......... Different. Not gonna complain though. 9/15

Not a super solid OC. A LOT of detail is needed, plus some character traits.

Final score: 61/100!