Name: Dusty (previously Dustyshine)-- her and her sister were both named similar names(sandykit) because her mother and mothers sister had similar names( her sister was light ginger they were named after their color)

Dusty is a "feminine" version of dust..... okay.... but Dust and Shine? I mean, I like it, but please elaborate more. 6/10 and 2/5

Appearance: Cream white with ginger spots on her back, ginger ears and "freckles" and ginger tail tip. Striking light blue eyes, smaller paws, super fluffy, mostly her chest and tail. A couple scars

This is actually a pretty good description. Nice job. 4/5

Personality: Sassy, not mean, but super sassy and sarcastic. Manipulative, and a very good actress.

Okay, could definitely use more detail. 6/10

Mate: she had two mates, Cloudytuft, then Ginger, both males.

Okay, any description on them? 1/5

I'm guessing no kits? 5/5

Friends in the clan: she diddnt have many friends for reasons in her backstoryCloudytuft, Nightstar, Otterpelt, and Minnowfur.

Again, add descriptions. 2/10

Gender: female 

K

Sexuality: straight

Coolio

Flaws: sarcastic, can come off as mean, rude sometimes, pushy, only likes certain cats and HATES anyone she doesn't know (suspicious of others) murderer. 

O.o

Skills: scary smart, observant, loves the people she knows more than herself and will die for them any day. 

OOOOO! I SMART!........... that's a total lie, I'm an idiot.

Enemies: Nightstar (later) and pretty much anybody (toms especially) she doesn't know. Favorite color: red 

Okayyyy

Deformities: none (does have a few scars)

Cewl

Allergies: seasonal 

Okay

Disorders: paranoia, anxiety, (depression at times) 

Nice

Clan: formerly Riverclan 

Alright. 10/10

Rank: formerly warrior, rouge 

Okay. 5/5

Favorite place: an old willow tree her and cloudytuft used to go to. 

So she likes it because her and her mate used to spend time together there..... alright. 4/5

Favorite hobby: daydreaming about having a family someday.

That's........... different. 4/5

Backstory: Dustykit was born with her sister Sandykit to Lilaccloud, a former rouge who had joined Riverclan seeking refuge after her mate had died and she was left expecting kits. The night before their apprentice ceremony Dustykit got in trouble and Lilaccloud threatened her saying that she'd tell willowstar and postpone her ceremony. Sandykit wanted them to be apprenticed together and decided to sneak out and track down a fox that the warriors had had a hard time finding so they would be praised. Dustykit refused at first, but then decided as long as they didn't fight it or let it see them. (Cloudykit wanted to go but Dustykit wouldn't let him) sure enough they found the fox, it attacked them Dustykit jumped on it trying to distract it from sandykit and told her to run. She didn't and attacked the fox to protect dustykit. It got Sandykit between its jaws and killed her. Dustykit decides she just wants to die as well, but then she remembers her mother and tries to climb a tree but is sliding closer to the fox. Luckily minnowfur heard all this(they were close to camp) he wakes up the whole camp trying to get a patrol to come with him, at this point Lilaccloud realizes her kits are missing, cloudykit tells them where they are and minnowfur and the patrol find dustykit right as shes about to get caught. Shes wounded and passes out they think both are dead and take them back to camp. Lilaccloud flips out (shes unstable, and a little crazy, that "mate that died" she killed him for cheating on her) Lilaccloud attacks Willowstar, blaming her for "not keeping her kits safe" because "that's the reason she came to Riverclan" Lilaccloud is dragged off the leader and exiled for taking one of Willowstars lifes. When Dustykit wakes up everyone is so shocked they all kinda jump and are scared of her. Shes taken to the medicine den by Nightpaw, (who is only one moon older than her) shes in the medicine den for a month during this time Nightpaw develops a crush on her. Otterpelt, the main medicine cat, loved Lilaccloud and is depressed. He later tells Nightpaw that if he really loves Dustykit(who still isn't an apprentice) that he shouldn't let being a medicine cat ruin his life and he still could change his mind. Nightpaw lies and tells the clan Starclan told him he was destined to be a warrior. (Everyone hates Dustykit and is scared of her) Cloudypaw and Dustykit are apprenticed together. Nightpaw is treated better than Dustypaw and Cloudypaw because "Starclan spoke to him" Dustypaw becomes jealous of him and starts to like Cloudypaw more. As they grow up Cloudytuft and Dustyshine become mates Nightpaw grows up to become Nightstar. As his jealousy of Cloudytuft grows, Dustyshine is struggling with depression. She wants kits but so far in unable to become pregnant, but Cloudytuft is always there for her. Nightstar reaches his breaking point and decides to murder Cloudytuft. Dustyshine is smart and after she finds Cloudytuft dead she knows exactly what happened. Nightstar blamed it on a badger because they both have black and white fur and he lured Cloudytuft to a badgers den before killing him. (Nightstar lost two lives durring, and has lost more previously, had 4 left) Dustyshine knows how much everyone loves Nightstar and hates her. Nobody would believe her. Shes not a great fighter and if she attacked Nightstar right away he would expect it (he knows how smart she is) and he had 4 lives left she couldn't kill him. Instead she acts like she loved Nightstar all along and she didn't know he loved her. For a whole year she is his mate. She slowly plants traps and stuff and lowers his life count to 1 without his knowing. One night she leaves the nest (she does it while its snowy so he can follow her paw prints) she climbs a tree and waits for him. When he arrives she jumps down and pretty much tells him everything hes shocked and he still loves her so he doesn't even try to fight back. She kills him and leaves him. She travels up to the Windclan barn. There she meets two cats, Honey and Buddy. They are mates and they take her in. Dustyshine decides to now go by just Dusty. She never likes Buddy, he's mean to Honey and unfaithful. After three moons of living there her and Honey become best friends. Buddy continues to abuse Honey. Dusty knows Buddy's bigger and stronger than both of them, and he'd easily kill her if she tried to take him out. Honey couldn't fight at all, so she wouldn't be able to for anything. Dusty slowly makes Buddy think that she loves him. He starts talking to her behind honeys back. As soon as he's comfortable with her she kills him and leaves before honey finds out. She lives like that for a long time, she kills 7 cats like this. Eventually she meets a cat named dot, turns out shes Lilaccloud's daughter too, from Dot (different father and litter), she learned her mother died, the two stay friends. She meets Ginger a former kittypet who's owner died. She does love him but not even close to how much she loved Cloudytuft. They become mates, they fight often, and aren't really a good match. She finally gets pregnant, she is ecstatic. This is all she ever wanted, a family. She has two kits, and sadly dies shortly after giving birth but not before she can name one of the kits sandy.

Okay..... seemed more like an entire story. But good job. A few... okay, not a few grammar mistakes, misused terminology, and misspelled words. I tried to fix as many as I saw. 11/15

Good job! More detail is definitely needed, but you've got a solid base.

Final score......... 60/100!