For@Warrior_at_Heart

Name: Thornclaw

I really love this name! Buuut... it's canon :O there is a Thornclaw in the original series. He's a senior warrior of ThunderClan, I think. He's a bit more of a background character, but he appears enough times in the books that I wouldn't let this slide...

:O

Gender: she-cat

Of course..

(Btw, I say this every time I see a she-cat oc, but I really don't care. She-cat oc are fine)

Age: 26 moons

I don't think I even asked for her age, but thanks anyway. That's all I'll say about that.

Appearance: Brown tabby she-cat with darker brown stripes, a lighter brown underbelly, and green eyes.

This is so cool! I love the different shades of brown. It's common colors, yet a unique pattern, which is super awesome!

Clan: RiverClan
This is good, but with her personality, I'd imagine her as more of a Thunder or ShadowClan cat. Whatever floats your boat.

(That was a pun if you look hard enough)

Rank: warrior/queen

Ok good. I love queens!!

Personality: Stubborn, loyal, not very trusting, puts her Clan first, sometimes kind, isn't afraid to claw a mouse-brained cat.

Now this... this is a good personality. Her name fits this perfectly, so bonus points for that. She has an even amount of good and bad traits, which really evens her out and makes her not cliche, but AWESOME!

I like her.

Backstory: Was raised in RiverClan as a kit and abused by her mother. Her father died protecting her mother in a battle, so she never got to meet him. Whenever Thornkit/paw needed cheering up, she went to Ashkit/paw. He was very kind, even with his jaw being crooked (Like Crookedstar.) Her mother eventually ran away due to the stress of being disliked (not hated, but disliked) by her Clanmates and got run over by a monster. Thornclaw and Ashclaw, now warriors, became mates. They had two litters of kits.

This is a pretty cool backstory! I can tell that you're a fan of Crookedstar, no? The story reminds me of him, being born in RiverClan.. abusive mother.... crooked jaw...

Anyway, I don't see much that I would change here. I like how her backstory seems to affect her personality. Being abused is the reason that she's not very trusting and sometimes mean... I like it a lot, it really shapes her character.

Mate: Ashclaw

Is there a reason that Thornclaw and Ashclaw have the same suffix, or is that a coincidence?

Kits: first litter: Cinderpaw, Lionpaw, Oakpaw. Second litter: Mudkit, Rainkit, Shadekit, and Stonekit.

Love the names! I'm not given warrior names but I love the prefixes sooo.

·~*OVERALL*~·

I can tell that she's a really well thought out character. You put a lot of work into her, and really, she's great. 9/10.

I'd only change her name, if it isn't too hard. Like if you've already written a lot about her, I wouldn't, but I do recommend it. Something that catches her personality in the same way that Thornclaw does, like Thornfang, Thorntooth, Thornblaze, Thornstrike, something along those lines. Keep the Thorn- though, because it fits well.

Sorry I haven't been updating much. I'm busy with school and my other books so I don't always have time. I've been thinking of getting admins for this book, like, I would send them characters and they would do the rating and I would post it here. I don't think any of you would be interested in that, but if you would, then comment or message me and I'll figure it out.