Palmstar

For @Jerzashipperforlife. Next oc will be Maplelily.

Name: Palmstar (Palmsong)

I'm assuming this is Palm- like Palm trees? I like that, I haven't seen it before. -song is pretty overused, but it fits really well with this name, it's original. Good job.

Gender: She-cat

K

Appearance: Is a sandy brown tabby with green eyes

Hmm. Sandy brown ocs are pretty neglected tbh. I'd like to see more of them. Green eyes are overused, I think brown or orange eyes would look better with her fur color. Just a suggestion :3

Tribe or Clan: BlueClan

I'm going to assume this clan was named after a founder?

Rank: Leader

Wow I never would've guessed

Personality: Fierce, Short tempered, Loyal hot headed.

This isn't very much to work with, but I like her. Reminds me of Sandstorm, both with the personality and appearance. I like this personality, hot headed is a nice touch :3

Backstory: As a kit she was attacked by the ex medicine cat and now she has a limp. Then when she grew up she fell in love with an ex BloodClan member. She then let him in her clan and they had two kits Abbeykits and Rosekit.

This is very short. Why the heck did the medicine cat attack her? Were the attack and her mate the only important events in her life? I don't have much to say about this. Falling in love with a non-clan cat is kinda cliche.

Family: Scar (Mate)

Goldenflower (Mom)

This is a canon name

Brownstar (Father)

Oh her dad was a leader too, cool

Abbeykit (Daughter) Rosekit (Other daughter)

Abbeykit is a... Really weird name

.-*OVERALL*-.

4/10. Honestly, it seems like you were just rushing to fill out the form. I love her name, and the personality is alright. I'd change her eye color and add a lot more to her backstory.

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top