Song: Astronomy - Conan Gray

Pair 

Nang makabalik kami sa hacienda ay agad kong natanaw si Mama sa labas, mukhang naghihintay sa pagbabalik ko. My forehead creased in confusion. Ganoon na niya ba ako kailangang pauwiin para maghintay pa siya rito sa labas para sa akin?

"Hala! Galit ata si Doña. Sabi ko sa 'yo, Madam, dapat hinatid na kita agad, e." nag-aalalang sinabi ni Primo habang pinaparada niya ang truck niya sa harap ng hacienda.

I watch as my mother eyed me like a hawk when I got out of Primo's truck. Kahit si Primo ay bumaba rin. Base sa itsura niya, handa na siyang magpaliwanag nang maunahan ko siya.

"You called for me, Mama?" tanong ko.

Ramdam kong napatingin si Primo sa akin pero hindi ko siya pinansin. Inalis ni Mama ang tingin sa akin upang ibaling naman ang atensyon kay Primo. Agad itong napayuko ng noo, takot na magkatinginan sila ni Mama.

"Didn't I tell you that I need her as soon as possible?" kalmadong sinabi ni Mama.

Tiningnan ko si Primo at nakitang napalunok siya bago inangat ang tingin kay Mama. Binuka niya ang bibig niya upang magpaliwanag.

"Uh...Doña, pasensya na po—"

"He needed to bring something to his mother. Ako po ang nagsabi na unahin niya iyon kaya po kami natagalan. Do you need something, Mama? We can talk about it inside."

Napabaling si Primo sa akin. Sandali kaming nagkatinginan bago siya tumikhim at nag-iwas ng tingin. I honestly don't understand what's the big deal about this. Hindi naman ganoon katagal ang tinagal namin sa kanila Primo para medyo mainis si Mama.

Sobrang importante ba ng kailangan niya kaya hindi siya makapaghintay.

I held on to her arm to guide her back inside the hacienda. Hindi niya pa rin inaalis ang tingin kay Primo. Kung hindi ko pa siguro kinuha ang atensyon niya, hindi niya ilulubay ang tingin dito.

Hindi na nagsalita si Mama at nagpadala na lang din sa hila ko. I glanced at Primo again. Nanatiling nakayuko ang ulo niya. I hope he's not thinking that it's his fault. I was the one who initiated. I also told him I'll be the one to explain in case he gets questioned.

Hindi naman siguro maapektuhan nito ang trabaho niya kung 'yun ang kinababahala niya.

Tumigil kami sa may sala. Sumulyap muna muli si Mama sa labas bago ibinaling ang tingin sa akin.

"You shouldn't have taken his side, hija. Hindi siya sumusunod sa utos ko. I told him to bring you home as soon as possible!"

Tamad ko siyang tiningnan. "Ma..." sabi ko. "I told you. Ako po ang nagsabi sa kanya na unahin niya muna ang kailangan niyang gawin bago ako ihatid pauwi. Hindi naman po siya nagtagal kaya naihatid niya rin ako agad. I don't know what's the big deal about this."

"The big deal is...he's working under us pero ni simpleng utos hindi niya masunod! What if it's an emergency? Uunahin niya pa rin ba ang kailangan niyang gawin?"

"If there's anyone at fault here, it's me, Mama. I told you; I was the one to insist. Wala po siyang kasalanan."

My mother eyed me sharply. Nanatili naman akong kalmado.

"I don't like that you're taking his side, Antheia. And I also don't like that you're spending too much time with that man!"

Dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon ay roon na ko labis nagulohan. What's the matter? I won't spend time with Primo if only he wasn't helping me with the farm! Hindi ba sinabi ni Papa sa kanya?

"He's helping me know about the farm, Mama. He was tasked by Papa. And I don't see any problem with him."

My mother raised a brow. Napairap siya at saka umiling.

"Then I will ask your father that it should be Ali that's helping you!"

"There's no need to do that."

"Why? Is it because you like that kid now, Antheia?!" medyo tumaas ang boses ni Mama. Hindi ko inasahan 'yon kaya napaangat ako ng kilay.

"As a worker, yes." Seryoso kong sinabi. She glared. "He's very patient and he does his job well. I don't see any problem for you to act this way towards him. May ginawa ho ba siya sa inyo?"

I can't believe we're suddenly having an argument because of such a small thing! Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba sobrang big deal ni Primo kay Mama. It's not like he has done anything bad to her.

As far as I can remember, puring-puri pa nga siya rito sa amin. Even Papa compliments him often! Papa also seems to trust him so I don't get why Mama suddenly has a problem with him.

"Because the man you should be spending most of your time with is Ali!"

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Is that what all of this is about? Is she trying to pair me up with Ali?

"Are you trying to pair me up, Mama?" hindi ko maiwasang matawa habang tinatanong iyon.

"Why? Would it be a problem if I do?"

Ako naman ang napairap at umiling ngayon.

"Why, Antheia? Your goals are aligned. He's a hard-working man. He's trying to build a name for himself. He's a man that a woman like you deserves!"

"Tinanong n'yo rin po ba siya kung gusto niya niyan? I doubt he does. Mama, that's not my priority right now. I barely know the man! And I haven't seen him around that much. Mama, I'm sorry, but that won't happen."

Sasagot pa sana si Mama nang bigla namang umeksena si Catalina. She eyed both of us curiously. May hawak siyang juice sa kanyang kamay at mukhang paakyat n asana siya sa kanyang kwarto nang madinig niya siguro ang pagtatalo namin ni Mama.

"What's happening?" tanong niya.

"Nothing, Catalina. Just go back to your room." Mama said, immediately dismissing her.

Nakita kong napangisi ang kapatid ko. Nagkatinginan kami at saka ako tinaasan ng kilay.

"You're trying to make her do something against of her will? Hindi pa ba sapat na masyado n'yo na siyang prine-pressure na pati ba naman 'yan ipipilit n'yo?"

My mouth parted in surprise. She must've heard a glimpse of our conversation. She must've heard what Mama wants to happen.

I don't tell my problems to her often so I was surprised when she said that to Mama. Iyon pa naman ang bagay na hindi ko masabi sa kanila.

"We are not pressuring her!" dipensa ni Mama.

Catalina pouted and shrugged her shoulders. "Really?" may halong mangungutya ang tono niya. "If you say so."

She scoffed and turned her back on us before Mama could even protest. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin habang paakyat siya ng hagdan. Mama turned to look at me again.

"You must be tired. You should rest."

"You haven't told me why you suddenly need me home."

Umiling lang siya at saka ako iniwan doon. Lumapit siya sa isang kasambahay upang may iutos. Agad naman siyang sinunod nito. Nilingon akong muli ni Mama bago siya tuluyang mawala sa paningin ko.

I was left confused after that. I couldn't help but think that Mama just wanted me home out of nowhere because she heard I'm with Primo. Hindi ko alam kung anong mayroon at kung bakit parang ayaw na ayaw ni Mama sa kanya.

I don't think he did something to offend her. He just doesn't seem like that kind of person. Kung ayaw naman pala ni Mama sa kanya, why can't she do something about kicking Primo out? If she despises him that much.

Maybe because she knows Papa won't let that happen. It was Papa who gave him a job. He trusted me with Primo because he trusts him that much.

And what does she mean about pairing me up with Ali? Is that the reason why every chance that she gets, she mentions him to me? But that won't happen. I am not interested in Ali and Ali is obviously not interested in me!

At isa pa, didn't they want me to focus first on our business? Bakit biglang may ganito?

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga at tamad na umakyat sa kwarto ko. I was busy preparing for my bath when Catalina suddenly entered my room.

"I heard you were being paired up." aniya sabay sumandal patagilid sa may door frame ko.

"It won't happen." sagot ko at binalik muli ang tingin sa cabinet.

"As it should...because I won't let that happen."

Kumunot muna ang noo ko bago ko ibalik muli ang tingin sa kanya. I raised a brow at her.

"I'm interested in Ali, so I won't let you get paired up with him."

"Catalina, you're too young for him!" hindi makapaniwala kong sinabi sa kanya. Napaatras pa ako mula sa cabinet dahil hindi ko inasahan ang sinabi niya.

How many times will I get surprised by people's revelations this day?

"Well...age doesn't matter?" she shrugged her shoulders like it wasn't a big deal. "So, yeah. Dapat lang na hindi ka pumayag sa gusto nilang mangyari dahil ako ang unang-unang pipigil."

Natawa ako. I don't think she's serious about this. Alam kong napansin ko na ang tingin niya kay Ali noon pero hindi ko naisip na magiging interesado siya rito ngayon.

She must be bored. Nami-miss niya na siguro ang nakaugalian niya sa Maynila kaya rito niya iyon ginagawa. Will they fit? I don't think so. Their age gap might also be a problem. Ali's kind of mature already and Catalina...she's...

"I know what you're thinking." Pairap niyang sinabi at saka pumasok sa loob ng kwarto ko. Naupo siya sa kama ko. "That I might only be a headache to him. That I don't fit his types."

"Wala akong iniisip na ganyan. I know how capable you are of collecting men no matter what their ages are."

Ngimisi siya. "I'm just letting you know, Ate Theia. Plus, there's a shortage of hot men here! He's the closest one to my type."

"Don't tell me you're doing this just because you're bored."

Catalina chuckled and made herself comfortable on my bed. "Maybe? It's been a while since I went out and had sex."

I eyed her seriously. Nanatili naman siyang nakangisi at mapang-asar na nakatingin sa akin. Between us, I know she's the more experienced one. Wala atang araw noon na wala siyang natatanggap na regalo mula sa mga nakaka-fling niya.

She's wild and carefree. I don't think Ali likes that kind of woman. I know my sister is pretty but I don't think this is for her. She might only get her heartbroken because it's obvious that Ali doesn't seem interested in anything except his job.

"If you're only doing this for sex, Catalina, mas lalo kang hindi ie-entertain ni Ali niyan."

"How sure are you? I don't think I've encountered a man that can resist me."

Napairap ako. "Catalina, the reason why you're here is for you to lie low with what you did back in Manila. You should focus on other things. Inayos mo na ba ang mga kailangan mo para makahabol ka sa susunod na semester?"

Tamad siyang umirap sa akin. She crossed her arms.

"Don't bring your serious energy to me, Ate Theia. Iba usapan natin dito oh? Bakit mo naman sinasali 'yan?"

"Malapit na ang semester. Kailangan mong maghabol."

She hissed and glared at me. "You sound like Mama and Papa now. I know what to do. Hindi n'yo ako kailangan i-remind lahat."

"Just please be serious this time, Cat. Para hindi na rin mapatagal pagbalik mo ng Maynila."

"Sa tingin mo ba hindi ko sinusubukan? I want to go back to Manila as soon as possible. I feel so trapped here. I feel like my freedom has been taken away from me ever since I came here." Tumayo siya, handa nang umalis. "Kaya kung ano ang gusto kong gawin kay Ali, just let me be. That's the least you can do after agreeing with Papa to throw me back here."

Hindi na ako nagkaroon pa ng pagkakataon na ipaliwanag ang sarili ko dahil lumabas na siya agad ng kwarto ko.

The only reason why I agreed is because I think this is the best for her. Mas lalo lang siyang mapapahamak sa Manila dahil kung sino-sino na lang ang sinasamahan niya. She doesn't know how to filter her friends. Hindi siya marunong tumingin kung nakakabuti pa ba sila sa kanya o hindi.

Nothing matters to her as long as she's having fun.

Mabuti na lang at tapos na akong maligo nang tawagin kami ni Manang para sa hapunan. Nauna si Adela na bumaba kaysa sa akin. Nakapwesto na agad siya nang pumasok ako sa kusina.

Mama only glanced at me when I entered. Si Papa may kausap pa sa phone kaya wala pa siya sa kabisera. Sabay namang bumaba si Ali at Catalina. For a moment, I thought something happened between them. But based on Catalina's face, it tells me the otherwise.

Nakanguso siya habang pababa ng hagdan. Nakahalukipkip at mukhang iritable. Habang wala namang emosyon si Ali habang nakasunod sa pagbaba ni Catalina.

'Wag mong sabihin na nag-confess agad siya?

Napabaling tingin si Mama sa kanila nang samahan nila kami sa hapag. Catalina was about to sit beside me when Mama stopped her. My sister raised a brow in confusion.

"Sit beside me, Catalina. Let Ali sit in between them."

"What? But this is my—"

"Just follow me, Catalina Gianna."

Her mouth parted. Kung iritable na siya kanina pagbaba ng hagdan, mas lalo na ngayon. Wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang sundin si Mama. Ali quietly followed her as well.

I eyed Mama in annoyance. I know what she's doing. Napailing na lang ako sa kanya nang tumabi na si Ali sa akin. I immediately caught Cat's annoyed look at the both of us.

I don't know what Mama is up to but I'm definitely not buying it. Gaya ng kapatid ko, ayaw ko rin nito.

"I'm sorry about that. Let's eat." Ani Papa nang matapos siya sa kausap.

Saka lang inilubay ni Catalina ang tingin sa amin. Tamad siyang sumandal sa kanyang upuan at tahimik na sumimsim sa kanyang tubig. She looked at Ali ang rolled her eyes.

Ali remained not moving beside me, obviously unaware of the death glares that Catalina is giving him. Ano naman ba ang nangyari para tumingin siya ng ganito sa kanya?

We immediately started eating as soon as Papa sat on his place. Ramdam ko na panay ang sulyap ni Mama sa akin sa tuwing nababanggit ni Papa ang mga ginagawa sa farm. He even asked Ali how's work doing so far.

Nang dahil doon mas nagkaroon ng pagkakataon si Mama na isingit ang plano niya.

"Dear, didn't you notice the two sitting together?"

I immediately let out a sigh. Si Catalina naman ay agad na napabaling kay Mama habang kunot ang noo. I didn't try to look at Ali. Kahit ano naman atang sabihin nila, tahimik lang siya at walang kibo. He will only speak when asked.

"What about it?" tanong ni Papa sabay sinulyapan kami. He took a bite of his steak.

Please, 'wag na sana siya makisali sa kung anong gustong mangyari ni Mama.

"Don't you think they'll make a good couple?"

It was the first time Adela reacted. Halos mabulunan siya sa iniinom na tubig dahil siguro nagulat din siya sa sinabi ni Mama. She's too young to be hearing conversations like this. Though it's harmless, 'di na dapat 'to pinag-uusapan!

"Adela disagrees." Ani Catalina. "I do, too."

Diretso siyang tumingin kay Ali pagkatapos no'n. Ali didn't even bat an eye and looked at Catalina as well.

"Well, I'm not asking for your opinions. I'm asking for your Papa's." sagot ni Mama. Tumingin siya kay Papa na para bang gusto nito na sumangayon siya. "What do you think, honey?"

"Ma..." I called but she just ignored me.

Nilingon ko si Papa habang sumisimsim siya ng wine. May mapaglarong ngisi sa kanyang labi.

"I'll let Antheia herself decide who she wants to be with. She already has a lot on her shoulders. Don't you think this is too much, hmm?" ngumiti muna siya sa akin sabay baling kay Mama.

Sa tingin ko hindi lang ako ang naginhawaan kung hindi pati na rin ang mga kapatid ko. Does Adela know something?

Mama chuckled. "I'm just suggesting though. Napansin ko lang kasi na medyo bagay sila. But you're right. It's still Antheia's decision."

She pursed her lips and quietly sliced her steak after.

"I'm sorry about that," I whispered to Ali without looking at him.

"It's fine."

Unang tumayo sa amin si Catalina pagkatapos kumain. Ganoon naman palagi. Sometimes she'll be the first one to arrive and the first one to leave. Kahit na may dessert pa minsan, she chose not to stay.

Adela stayed to eat ice cream with my parents. I went to my room after Cat so I could rest. It's been a long day for me. Ilang linggo na lang din ang nalalabi ko rito bago ako bumalik ng Manila. I need to make my remaining weeks productive.

The next day, I immediately went down to eat my breakfast. Gaya ng nakasanayan, sa may hardin ko pinadala ang umagahan. Agad kong natanaw si Primo na abala agad sa trabaho niya.

May kung ano silang pinag-uusapan ng kasama niya. Nagtatawanan pa sila habang nagtatrabaho. I sat quietly on the bench. I leaned on the table as I wait for the maids to bring my breakfast.

Nauna akong mapansin ng kasama niya kaya agad itong bumati. Napalingon naman si Primo sa akin. Ngumiti siya at kumaway.

"Good morning, Madam!"

Sometimes I wonder how can someone have so much energy like him so early in the morning.

Isang tango lang ang iginawad ko sa kanila bilang pagbati pabalik. 'Di na naman nila ako inistorbo dahil dumating na rin agad ang umagahan ko.

I ate my breakfast peacefully. I like it here because it's so calm and peaceful. Minsan dinig mo pa ang huni ng mga ibon habang kumakain.

Patapos na ako nang matanaw ko ang dalawa na nagtutulakan sa gilid.

"Invite mo na! Minsan lang, e." narinig kong sinabi ng kasama ni Primo.

Umiling siya at binawi ang braso. "Ayoko! Baka 'di siya sanay sa mga gano'n kaya 'wag na!"

"Sus! Si Don Victor nga nanood ng isang beses. Malay mo ang anak din?"

"E, 'wag na! 'Di rin papayag—"

At dahil alam ko na rin naman na ako ang pinag-uusapan nila, nagsalita na ako. I can clearly hear it from here. 'Di ko alam kung sinasadya ba nila o ano.

"What is this?" tamad kong tinanong at saka nilapag ang tasa sa tabi ng pinggan ko.

Namimilog ang mga mata ni Primo nang bumaling siya sa akin. "Nadidinig mo kami, Madam?"

"Oh! I thought you were purposely making me hear it by how loud your voices were."

Siniko ni Primo ang kasama at mukhang sinisi pa ito na narinig ko sila. He scratched the back of his head. Nahihiya siyang tumawa.

"Madam, ano..." nangapa siya ng salita. Tiningnan niya ang kasama na mukhang hinihikayat siyang ituloy ang kanyang sasabihin. "Wala 'yon. Nangungulit lang."

Binatukan siya ng kasama. Nagulat ako. Agad na napangiwi si Primo at napahawak sa kanyang batok. Gusto niya sanang gumanti kaso nakita niyang nakatingin pa rin ako kaya pinigilan niya ang sarili.

Kaya naman ang kasama na niya ang naglakas ng loob na magsalita.

"Ah, Madam, maaari po ba namin kayo maimbita na manood ng championship sa liga rito sa atin? Team po nila Primo ang lalaban. Sayang naman ho kung 'di kayo makakanood. Parehong magaling pa naman po ang mga maglalaro."

Halos murahin na siya ni Primo nang dahil doon. The two kept on bickering. Binalewala naman niya si Primo at nagpatuloy.

"Minsan na rin ho nanood ang Papa n'yo para sumuporta. Baka lang ho gusto n'yo rin. Sayang naman..."

"Naku, Madam, kung ayaw n'yo okay lang naman. Alam ko namang 'di ka sanay sa mga gano'n. Saka baka mainitan ka! Naku! Bawal mainitan si Madam kaya imposible na pala na manood siya, Carding."

I tried so hard not to laugh at Primo. Saan niya naman nakuha 'yan? Ilang beses na akong nanatili sa ilalim ng araw sa mga panahon na nanatili ako sa farm pero hindi naman ako nagreklamo. Ano pa sa isang covered court?

Tumingin si Primo sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung ang tingin niya ba na iyon ay umaasa na manood ako o 'wag. But either way, I want to see whatever that is. Papa will surely like it if I'll go. Gustong-gusto niya na nakikihalubilo kami sa mga tao rito.

"Fine. I'll go. When is it?"

Agad na nagulat si Primo sa sinabi ko. Kahit si Carding, ang kasama niya, ay hindi inasahan na papayag ako. Napalingon siya kay Primo na hindi pa rin inaalis ang tingin sa akin. A ghost smile appeared on my lips.

Tinapik ni Carding ang dibdib niya. "Lagot! Kabahan ka na! Manonood ang crush mo!"