My whole body was aching and my heart urged me to stay in bed. I had turned into my human form after finishing healing the baby boy. Tyr had asked for me, and I was about to leave Ari after two whole days in the room. But as I was about to leave, Noora stopped me.

"Freke, I can't thank you enough for this. You and your lover, you saved my son," she exclaimed, on the verge of tears. She was exhausted, I could tell.

I smiled at the woman and realised I had never really spoken to her before, "Vidar is more than a lover to me." I started to explain, "In my society a maður is chosen for every pack member by the spirit wolf, and Vidar will be connected to me until one of us dies."

"So he's your husband?" she asked with a thoughtful expression and moved a string of white hair behind her ear.

"In human terms I guess you could say that," I agreed.

I could see her face blush and she struggled with the words she wanted to speak, but it was as if they were too hard to form, "so what is Tyr to you then?"

I stretched out a hand and touched Ari's head, the boy was lying comfortably in a piece of fabric, snuggled up to his mothers chest. "It's complicated," I said with a smile on my lips. "I love him with all my heart, he knows me better than anyone and I can't imagine a life without him."

"But you are leaving him now? To go with Vidar?" She asked and it pained my heart to see the hope in her eyes. She had fallen in love with him, like all of them eventually did. He was just too charismatic, I thought with a bitter chuckle.

"For a while – yes. But I won't be gone forever," I told her before I opened the door and left. A few months ago I wouldn't have cared about her words, I knew me and Tyr were destined to be together forever. But something had changed, and it made me feel even more lost and my feet felt heavy as I walked up to the members of my pack. Tyr was nowhere to be seen and even though I wanted to be with him, I couldn't find the strength to look for him.

"What's wrong, my love?" Vidar's strong voice mumbled close to my ear before I felt his body against my back and his arm embracing me from behind.

"Noora wants me gone," I huffed and leaned the back of my head against his chest, closing my eyes and drawing some strength from the fresh air around me.

"You shouldn't be surprised, your relationship with Tyr is something to envy. You seem like the perfect fit," he said, and I could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"We used to be," I whispered and locked eyes with the blond man who was walking confidently out of his hall in his battle armour, with shield and axe in each hand. Looking like a true warrior. And I felt Vidars arm tighten around me. "Something has changed."

"I understand why you want him, Freke, I do," he sighed, as if he had not heard me. "I'm just afraid that this fantasy of yours will come to an end soon, and that it will break you."

"Because of Noora?" I asked in a hushed voice, afraid that Tyr might hear me. "He would never choose her before me."

Vidar placed his hands on my shoulders and gently turned me to face him, "No, not because of her. But because everyone changes, my love, and I'm not saying that he will. I just want to make sure that you are prepared for all the outcomes after this fight."

"I am," I said with a firm nod. But the truth was, inside I was shaking with frustration over the life the Norns had weaved for us. Secretly I longed for a time when me and Tyr were sitting alone on the shore, watching the horizon outside Bildsfell, when no one would bother us with politics or foul magic.

But when Vidar leaned down and gave my lips a gentle peck, and as his thumb caressed my cheek I knew I needed him too. "I need your help," I whispered and leaned my cheek against his chest. "I feel so lost – still."

"We haven't had time to talk about your trauma yet," he said with a gentleness he rarely showed me. But I instantly pushed him away, that was a door I was afraid to open.

"This is not the time," I muttered and turned away from him, but he was persistent.

"If not now, then when, Freke?" He grabbed my arm and turned me back around and peered into my eyes. "We're about to go out there, to the place where it all happened. Are you sure you can handle that?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered but knew that he saw right through me.

Without a second thought he took my hand and pulled me towards a more secluded area. "If you want Tyr here with you, that's fine. But we need to do this now," he said firmly and I knew he was right. I was just too afraid to deal with those blurred memories.

I peered over at Tyr where he stood and discussed the upcoming events and strategies with Liv and the other warriors. Vidar was going to lead the raid, but Tyr was in charge of protecting the village, and he wanted the guards to be on high alert.

"No, he's busy," I whispered and I watched Vidar's eyes travel to the spot where the blond man stood.

"Freke," he started, "one wave and he will be here. He would want to be here for you." He sighed and gave my cheek a gentle kiss, "I have never seen you push him away like this before, it's alarming how much you've changed since I first came here."

"I told you, I feel weak."

My maður sighed and started to draw runes on the ground around me, and instantly I felt the earth begin to vibrate. As he finished he stepped inside the circle and sat down in the dirt, pulling my tense body down to his lap.

The longhaired wolf started to hum one of our ancient chants. The vibrations in his chest travelled into my body and a sense of calm spread inside. His hands moved up to my face and when he placed his index fingers on my temples and his thumbs behind my ears I could feel his magic penetrate my skin, creating a warm sensation.

Every inch of me began to relax, all of my sore muscles and aching bones wanted to be healed, but in my frightened state I had neglected my body's needs. Vidar was persistent and worked his way through my body, but my mind kept closing him out. "Freke," he whispered, "it was not your fault."

I drew a deep breath and pinched my eyes closed, "yes it was," I argued, "if it weren't for me we would never have come here in the first place."

"Freke.." he sighed my name, and I could feel a wave of love wash over me, "stop those silly thoughts right now." His thumbs started to caress the back of my head as he continued. "Fill your heart with light and love that surrounds us. The spirits want you to heal, listen to them and push out the doubt." He leaned forward and kissed my neck, "you are not to blame for any of this."

I felt my body beginning to shake, tears ran down my cheeks as all the negative thoughts kept circling inside my mind. "I lead them here."

"Yes, and this village was lucky to have you. What if Bjarke attacked and you weren't here, they would be suffering right now."

"Ari.."

"The boy is fine, love," Vidar whispered, "It was a low blow to attack the Jarl's son, but we handled it. You and me, together, and now he's fine."

We sat like that for a long time. I whispered out all my fears, doubts and my insecurities, all the negative thoughts I had. And in return, Vidar gave me more and more reasons to smile. And for every word, the heaviness on my shoulders grew lighter.

That's how Tyr found us. He stood there, watching us with arms crossed and with a concerned expression on his face. "How are you feeling?" he asked me when I opened my eyes and leaned back into Vidar's loving embrace.

I bit my lip, glanced at him but turned to look at Vidar, "can you manage without me? I don't think I can meet him again."

His sapphire orbs studied me for a long time before he nodded. "Stay with Ari, love, I will call for you if you are needed. But only if things get desperate."

"Thank you," I whispered as I turned in his lap to throw my arms around his neck, and for some reason I couldn't stop crying. My heart ached so painfully and my body felt so weak after releasing so many emotions.

After a while I opened my eyes to look for Tyr, to reach out to him and beg him closer. But he wasn't there anymore. Through my tears I watched the frame of the blond man walk away from us, and again my heart felt empty.