**Yay for therapeutic artistic outlets. Let's see how this works. 

TW: ANGST. Heavy themes of trauma, negative thoughts, sadness, things like that. Read at your own discretion. It gets better at the end.**

   The sun's already up. You slept in. Idiot.

     The sun made the white curtains look as if they were illuminated. Tremaine rolled over, away from the bright light. The space next to him in bed was empty. Where was Roshan?

     He got up before you. Great job being there for your fiancee. He probably hates you now.

     Tremaine sighed. It was obviously going to be one of those days.

     You knew he'd eventually leave you, anyway. Who could love you? Hell, even your own mother treated you like shit. It's all your fault.

     He sighed heavily and curled up, hugging his knees to his chest. There was no Roshan to tell him that they were just thoughts. 

     You're such a coward. You can't even get out of bed.

     'Shut up,' Tremaine wanted to retaliate. 

     Are you seriously talking to yourself? Jesus, you really are going insane. You better get your  lazy ass out of bed and check if Roshan's still here. Wouldn't be surprised if he just up and left without saying anything.

     Tremaine steadied himself with a breath. He felt his mind clear the tiniest bit, the smallest hint of the darkness backing away. But that didn't last for long.

     What are you waiting for? Are these thoughts too much for you? Roshan said not to listen to them. But, whoops, Roshan's not here. You're weak without him. You're weak, Tremaine.

     "Stop it," he mumbled quietly, his eyes stinging with tears.

     You're just scared of the truth. 

     Mustering his strength, Tremaine stood up. His eyes met his own reflection in the mirror against the wall. He had bags under his eyes and his hair stuck out in all directions. 

     Well, you look like shit. Per usual. 

     Running a hand through his hair to smooth it out, he actively avoided his reflection as he approached his closet. His eyes scanned the row of shirts.

     Not that one. It's ugly. It'll just make you look worse.

     Not that one. People might think you're lazy.

     'Nobody's gonna see me except Rosha-'

     PEOPLE MIGHT THINK YOU'RE LAZY.

    'Okay. Fine. You're right.' 

    That's right, I'm right. You really should listen to me more.

     No, not that one either. It reminds you of the one your dad got you the year before he went to prison. That's your fault, too, by the way. Oh, hey, remember the time when your mom got high and then tried to-

     'STOP,' Tremaine said before a flashback could flood his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, but behind his eyelids he saw his mother taunting him, drawing her hand back to strike him. 

     He opened his eyes quickly. Another steadying breath. In, 2 3 4. He stared at the carpet, afraid to shut his eyes. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. Out, 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. 

     Will you quit that? How do you know it even works? You saw it on some crap YouTube video. He wasn't even, like, a meditation expert or anything.

     Nope. It never worked. 

     Damn, will you please just pick out a shirt? It's been an eternity. Roshan's gonna kick you out of the house if this keep sup. You're just like your failure of a fa-

     He snatched a shirt from the rack and pulled it on.

    About damn time. You'll be lucky if he's still speaking to you when you-

     "Good morning, love!" Roshan's eyes lit up when he saw Tremaine. He walked over to him from his spot on the couch. He stood on his tiptoes to kiss Tremaine's lips gently. That still set off butterflies in Tremaine's stomach. "I'm sorry if I scared you," he said. "I wanted to let you sleep for a bit."

     Liar.

     'No.'

     Yes.

     'No.'

    Yes.

     'NO.'

     Y-

     "Babe, are you okay? You look like you were just crying."

     He voice in Tremaine's head was ready to say something, but it was lost. It was replaced with Roshan's sparkling eyes, the gentle crease of concern between his eyebrows. Silence in Tremaine's mind. Peace.

     "Yeah, I'm okay, sweetheart," he said, smiling.

     "Are you sure?" Roshan could see right through him.

     "I'm better now. I promise."

     "You weren't thinking bad stuff again, were you?"

     Pause. 

     A sigh from Roshan. "Sweetheart..."

     "You make them go away," he said softly, his arms holding Roshan close to him.

     Roshan's cheeks turned the slightest bit pink. But he met Tremaine's eyes, not letting him off the hook. "You sure you're okay?"

      "I am now. You don't have to worry." He kissed Roshan's forehead gently.

     "I only worry because I love you."

     Tremaine smiled and touched Roshan's nose to his own playfully. "I love you too, baby."

     Roshan giggled. "I just want you to be happy, love."

     "I am happy. Because I have you."

    And it would've been right about now that Tremaine would've called himself weak, clingy, dependent, at least something, but nothing came.

     "Please don't give up on me," he pleaded, wanting this sense of peace to last forever.

     "Never. I promise."