On my drive back to the orphanage, I try to convince myself that there's nothing to fear. I'm a grown man—a soldier even—and Pearson can't punish me. Yet the closer we get to his office, the more fazed I am. I royally screwed up and nothing I say will make up for my irresponsibility. He won't go easy on me.

I light one cigarette after another; by the time I pull up in front of the administrative building, my ashtray is overflowing with chewed-up cigarette butts. Mateo drove Rosanna back in the orphanage Jeep and pulls up the car next to mine. Getting out, Rosanna is as pale as a ghost and her eyes are filled with fear. We walk down the hall to Pearson's office and I squeeze her hand, my lips curling to an encouraging smile.

Everything will be okay, I mouth.

With my last bit of courage gone, I don't really believe it. Pearson will be furious that we broke the rules. Grown man or not, his roasting will undoubtedly hurt.

We file into his office and line up in front of his desk. Rosanna is crying and can't even look him in the eyes. When his glare falls on me, I struggle to keep my chin up.

"So you guys have been sneaking off together. How long has this been going on?"

I swallow hard in a futile attempt to keep the tremble out of my voice. "We love each other."

The whole desk vibrates under his slamming fist. "That's not what I asked. I want to know how long you've been fooling me, Tomás, coming here and pretending you wanted to play the violin, when in reality, you were just trying to seduce one of the girls?"

Anger boils up before I can help it. "It's nothing like that."

"Oh no?" He smirks. "Are you telling me you don't want to get into her pants? Come on, Tomás. I might be an idiot for trusting you, but I'm not dumb. I used to be a horny teen and fucked every skirt I could get my hands on."

The silence stands heavy between us. This is one situation where his mind is made up. He isn't willing to listen.

"Answer me, Tomás." His fist hits the desk again, louder this time. The vibration rings painfully in my ears. "How long have you and Rosanna been sneaking behind my back?"

"Two years."

He buries his face in his hands, his fingers massaging his forehead. "And let me guess—she isn't a virgin anymore?"

"I'm actually pregnant." Rosanna's voice is but a whisper, but the meaning of her words thunders in the room.

"Fuck." Pearson's face stays hidden as deadly silence settles over us.

I meet Mateo's gaze. Disappointment—disgust even—reflects in his eyes. Screw him. Someone who meets with the enemy has no right to judge. I entangle my fingers with Rosanna's and squeeze her hand when the tears keep rolling down her cheeks. I wish Pearson would say something; even roaring with fury would be preferable. The silence is nerve-racking. A sudden dog's bark makes me jump, but at least Pearson raises his head.

"Rosanna, go to your room. You will remain there except for meals and school. If I find you outside your dorm at other times, I swear I'll lock you up in that goddamn basement until you're eighteen."

That's almost eleven months from now. Even though I doubt he'll follow through on the threat, I hope Rosanna won't be foolish enough to challenge him.

Best to take control of the conversation for the both of us. "Pearce, I want—"

His pointed finger stops me. "You zip it until I get to you."

Rosanna glances at me. Her cheeks are red and puffy from crying. I give her a silent nod. For now, she should comply with Pearson's punishment. I'll catch up with her once the marriage thing is sorted out. Hopefully, he'll relax when he realizes that I'm not going to abandon her.

Shoulders slumped with her head bent toward the ground, Rosanna plods out of the office. I open my mouth to tell Pearson he is too hard on her when one of his killer glares shuts me up.

His focus shifts to my brother. "Mateo, did you know about this?"

My eyes give him a silent no. No matter what he did, this is my fight. He shouldn't get into trouble for my mess.

He ignores me. "I had my suspicions when Tomás kept coming around, and I saw them flirt a few times."

"But you didn't know they were sneaking off?"

"No, sir, not until today."

The lie is inevitable. Pearson would've fired his ass if he knew how often Mateo had covered for us.

"Thanks, Mateo. You can go now."

After he turns around, my brother crosses his fingers to wish me good luck. I internally snort. As if this would help.

"And Mateo, close the door."

After my brother is gone, silence resumes. Pearson writes something in his diary, not looking at me once. A couple of times, my gaze flicks to the door. I'm a grown man who can leave at any time. Yet my feet stay bolted in place. Part of me remembers the few good beatings I took after I had broken a major rule and the hours of extra chores that kept me from playing the violin. Even though those types of punishment are over, he has something far more lethal—he can keep me from seeing Rosanna as long as she lives at the orphanage.

When his attention finally returns to me, he actually smiles. "Why don't you sit down?"

Forehead wrinkled in bewilderment, I comply.

"Is Mayor Conde still your superior officer?"

I nod, though I'm not sure what this has to do with anything.

"And do you happen to have his number?"

I squint at him. "Why are you asking?"

"Well, you violated the law, Tomás. Premarital sex with a minor is considered rape in Malaguay. I believe your superior officer should know about it."

I gape at him with an open mouth. "You're gonna have me arrested?"

"You violated the law," he repeats as if I didn't hear him the first time.

The words are like an iron first to my stomach. If he calls Conde, I can forget the promotion. Hell, I'll be lucky if they don't kick me out of the military. "Please, Pearce, don't do this."

"Why? Just give me one reason why I should protect you after you betrayed me."

"I love Rosanna. I want to marry her and be there for her and the baby."

He snorts. "And you think that makes it okay?"

"No. Nothing makes it okay, but it's the best I can do under the circumstances."

His dark eyes study me for a long time. The disappointment they hold scoops my heart from the inside out.

"Well, Tomás, let me tell you, marriage won't happen. Not as long as Rosanna is my charge."

That makes no sense. "But why?" He, of all people, should want a family for the baby.

"Growing up, I saw plenty of teen girls getting pregnant. Those who tried to stay together with their boyfriends ended up with failed relationships. A baby is no basis for a marriage. You and Rosanna are still young—you have your whole lives ahead of you. Parenthood will just get in the way."

The anger is back. When I ball my fists to prevent me from lashing out, my fingernails cut into my skin. "You can't force her to have an abortion."

"I'm not talking about an abortion. There are plenty of couples in neighboring countries who are trying to adopt newborn babies. It'll be best for everyone."

"You need my consent for an adoption."

"I know, and when the time comes, you'll sign the paperwork. If not, Mayor Conde will hear about it. Your career will be over, hell, you'll be lucky if they don't cut off your balls. Rape is a serious crime in Malaguay."

The calmness reflected in his eyes is worse than the anger or disappointment. His mind is made up and nothing I say will change that.

"Go now, Tomás. And as long as Rosanna resides under the roof of this orphanage, you are no longer welcome here. If you come back, I'll call Conde. And if we happen to run into you in town, walk the other way. There won't be letters or phone calls. No contact whatsoever. You play along, you can have Rosanna once she turns eighteen. That is, if you still want her."

I stare at him. Not being able to see Rosanna, not helping her through the pregnancy and the birth of the baby is insane. I won't go for it. We love each other and need to be together.

"Please, Pearce, at least let me be there for her."

Anger flares in his eyes. "So you can play me for a fool again? I don't think so."

"I meant here, at the orphanage. You can supervise us all you want, but please, don't keep us apart. I really love her." The hitch in my throat warns that I'm about to lose it. This can't be happening. I knew he would be mad, but this . . .

"It'll be a long time before I trust you around any of my orphans again. Until then, I don't want to see you." His face is stern without even a sliver of sympathy for my situation. How can he be so stubborn and inconsiderate?

"What about my violin?"

"It's still my violin since I never gave it to you. You were only allowed to play it while you were here." His smile is thin and doesn't hit his eyes. "Besides, you've got a job. If music is that important to you, you can buy yourself a new one when you go with Felipe on one of your bachelor trips to Quito."

So he knows about those. Probably thinks I've cheated on Rosanna, which isn't true. I clench the armrests until my knuckles turn white. I want to bash his head in. Only the fear that my girlfriend will suffer the consequences keeps me bolted in my seat.

When his focus returns to the diary, I jump to my feet. My whole body trembles, the anger boiling so hot that it's about to spill to the surface. If I don't get the hell out of here, I'll surely do something I'm going to regret. Turning on my heel, I storm toward the exit. The door slams so hard behind me that the whining wood hurts my eardrums. I huff. How dare he meddle in my life. If only Rosanna were eighteen already, he could go fuck himself.

Mateo is waiting right outside the administration building and falls into a trot as I head for the Jeep. He'd better keep his distance or I'll deck him.

"What happened?"

I glance sideways. In my mind, I tell him to fuck off, but my mouth follows my need to vent. "Pearson shot me down. He doesn't want me to marry Rosanna."

"And did he give you a reason?"

"Something about teen relationships not working out. Hopefully, this will blow over quickly. I can't stand being apart from Rosanna." I get into the Jeep. When I'm about to start the engine, his hand lands on my shoulder.

"Tomás, I was going to tell you this earlier, but you stormed off before I got the chance. Last night, the rebels, they knew you were coming."

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Méndez got a call via a satellite phone that warned him about hostile troops. After that, he couldn't get me into the tunnels fast enough before disappearing in the other direction."

I have to clench my jaw to hide the shock. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I was right there."

"And did you recognize the voice of the caller?"

"No. It wasn't someone I knew, and the voice was muffled."

I start the Jeep. "Thanks for telling me. I hope I'll see you around."

As I drive back toward town, one thought chases another. Having to stay away from Rosanna will be brutal. My heart is already throbbing. She's the one person who has always cheered me up; on some mornings, only the prospect of visiting her motivated me enough to get out of bed. I run my thumb over my lips. The sweetness of her last kiss is still there. The sudden heat in my crotch fires the anger in my chest. Pearson is a gigantic asshole for wanting to keep us apart.

Maybe I can at least get messages to her so she knows she isn't alone. But how? Pearson will watch her like a hawk, but if I badger Mateo long enough, he might smuggle in a few letters. Of course, if he gets caught, he'll be in deep shit with Pearson, though if he really joins the rebels, who cares?

I laugh with bitterness. My brother, the soldier. That's so not Mateo. He is a born teacher and a good person at heart. Killing isn't in his nature. It would make him physically sick. He has no clue what he's getting himself into.

And then his odd statement about the phone call. If that is true, we have a traitor among the high-ranking officers. The rescue mission was on a need-to-know basis, so only a few of us were fully briefed. I'll have to tread carefully if I decide to confide in Varela since this could stir up some serious trouble. Plus how do I explain who leaked the intel? Admitting that my brother had contact with the rebel leader will get him killed.

With a sigh, I pull up in front of the bar in the center of town. The answers to any of these problems won't come easy and I'll have to clear my head first. But before I do, I need to get wasted. Forget it all for just one night.

The soreness in my body from my fight with Miguel has returned with a vengeance and I rummage through the glove compartment to find the bottle of prescription painkillers. Do not exceed eight in a twenty-four-hour period is written on the label. I snort as I drop four pills into my mouth. Double that might do the trick. With the ones the doctor already gave me, I'll have at least four more for later.

After I wash them down with a few swallows of water from the thermos I keep in the middle console, I get out of the Jeep and steer toward the front door of the bar. It's empty except for a lone geezer. Sitting down on one of the barstools, I shake a cigarette out of the pack and light it. The bartender is a young woman about my age who tosses me a sweet smile.

She leans over the bar to wipe the area in front of me. "What can I get you?"

Letting the smoke escape, I catch a good eyeful of her cleavage. I take another drag. When our eyes meet again, her smile turns seductive. Fuck me practically screams from her full red mouth. She licks her lips. Man, Felipe would love her. She is just his type. I should text him to come over after his shift.

"Tequila." That stuff will numb all pain. It always does.

She sets a glass in front of me and pours the golden liquid. As she is about to turn, I clutch her arm. "Leave the bottle."

"Sure." The smile is more hesitant this time.

I down the drink in one go and immediately pour another. The cycle repeats itself until a slight buzzing spreads in my ears. Better text Felipe while I still can. Since I'll be too wasted to walk, he'll have to take me back to the compound.

Drink after drink disappears down my throat. In the past, the alcohol has always managed to make me feel better. Not this time. The pain in my heart and soul is like a constant stabbing. Even my eyes water a little.

Keep it together, Tomás.

That gets rid of the wetness in my eyes, though I still feel miserable. I gaze at the clock on the wall. It's just after one o'clock.

Fuck.

My free day turned to shit, and it's not even halfway done yet.

~~~~~

© Sal Mason 2018

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