ACT ONE.  CHAPTER XIII:
NEW YEAR'S WISH

RIVER VILLAGE, WAKANDA.
2016, DECEMBER 31.

In the half-light of her office, timidly lit by her small lamp, Sade looked for a moment at the clock on the wall in front of her before returning her attention to the draft of her thesis. She had been glued to her chair for perhaps three hours, her eyes drifting to the conch shell she had placed on the table.

Remorse was eating her up.

She knew she had a hard time admitting her mistakes, but this was definitely a good one she had made. The habit of never involving her feelings had fired back at her, surely tearing apart the only genuine relationship she had ever had.

"I doubt that, my sweet girl."

The conversation she had had with her mother three days before still plagued her mind, to the point where she had rewritten the same sentence without realising it. That parasitic feeling of regret was eating away at her, eating away at every corner of her mind that had not submitted to its dishonest rule.

Looking at the shell again, she finally stood up and took it before heading for her door. The young woman hesitated for a moment as she watched her hand rest on the handle, feeling the impulse that had led her to stand up slowly disappear.

It doesn't hurt to try.

Removing her socks, Sade closed the door before walking apprehensively towards the swirling water. She looked at the object in her hands once more before blowing gently into it and depositing it into the familiar arms of the tide, returning to her cabin to sit on the porch swing outside it.

A good thirty minutes passed and no sign of the Talokanil king, breaking her heart a little more as she hugged her legs together resting her head against the swing. The young princess didn't know what she had expected, he had duties, and surely hated her. After all, he had no reason to rush to meet her. She had given him no reason.

The wait became heavier and heavier, straining the awake state Sade was in. Her eyes eventually closed, smouldering under them a thin veil of salt water.

TALOKANIL TERRITORIES, TALOKAN.
2016, DECEMBER 31.

These were the second longest four months of his life. Eight months in total that he had not seen her. Eight long months when they hadn't sat on the sand chatting, waiting for the slow awakening of the sun. Eight long months when the glint of fascination that shone in those hypnotic smoky quartz eyes had not fallen on him. Eight long months that her laughter had not found sanctuary in the hollow of his ears, like a lullaby soothing a fretful infant. Eight long months since he had spoken to her, since he had hugged her. Did she miss him? Was she thinking of him? Has she found someone else?

The last thought hurt more than he cared to admit to himself.

If the people around him didn't repeatedly put him back on the hurrying train of time, his mind would have accepted the idea that an eternity had passed since he had heard from the princess. An eternity that did not usually frighten him—time was his playground. Eternity was only a few seconds for him, a few seconds that he could hardly see himself spending away from her.

The conch that had drifted out to sea was lying in his hands, courtesy of Attuma who had gone to fetch it. Namor had received the call, but he didn't know what to do. The urge to go to her consumed him, but what was he going to tell her? That he still denied what was going on inside him, but that he had spent the four months of her absence avoiding the sunlight because it reminded him of her? Surely that wasn't what she wanted to hear. It wasn't what she deserved to hear.

"How long are you going to sit around brooding while she waits for you on the surface?"

Abruptly raising his head to his right arm, the Talokanil king watched him for a moment with a confused look in his eyes before putting his head down in his hands, exhaling loudly.

"What are you doing here Attuma?"

"Same goes to you. Have you gone deaf K'uk'ulkan?" the latter asked, the hint of insolence in his voice making his chief roll his eyes. "She called you-"

"Perhaps it was a mistake, perhaps-"

"Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps... It's entirely possible that she accidentally blew into a shell, and inadvertently dropped it in the sea. Yes, totally believable." Attuma cut him off as he approached him, leaning against his paint-filled table. "You should go see her. Not throwing away what could be your last chance you know?"

"I don't- I don't need to see her. I don't need her." Namor replied through gritted teeth, clutching the conch in his hands.

Attuma gave him a bored look before turning his gaze back to the wall full of murals. "Is that why you were staring at the painting you did of her? Or maybe listening to the music on the little device she left you? Or-"

"Attuma that's enough."

"Is it? Because I don't see you jumping in the water to join her. You want me to remind you of the photo you went to retrieve from her cabin? Or-"

"Attuma." called Namor again, refusing to look at him.

"I've seen Akna try to talk to you a few times, and the last time I saw her leave your quarters quite frustrated. You rejected her. I wonder what for. Or should I say who?" insisted Attuma as he stood in front of his king, his expression mischievous at the confusion he seemed to be in. "Even if you're not going to tell her how you feel about her because you still need time to put your finger on it, you have to explain why you ignored her for four months without explanation. You owe her that at least, K'uk'ulkan."

Namor pursed his lips before looking up at his right arm, his eyes displaying how unsure he was of what he was about to do.

"What if she doesn't forgive me?" he asked weakly, seeing a small smile come to stretch Attuma's mouth as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I wouldn't worry about that."

RIVER VILLAGE, WAKANDA.
2016, DECEMBER 31.

By the time he reached the beach, the Talokanil king figured that the young woman must have already left her cabin by then, almost giving him a reason to retrace his steps. He didn't want to face the possibility that she wouldn't forgive him, being away from her at least allowed him not to know, and to ignore the heartbreak that would have followed. But what a surprise it was when he saw her figure dozing on the porch swing.

Approaching gently so as not to wake her, he placed the shell in a corner before observing her for a moment. The comforting warmth that spread through his body at the sight of her made him stay on the porch and watch her until he noted the cold air that was beginning to fall on the night. Opening the cabin door, he let the body dryer that Sade had installed at the entrance of the cabin dry him, annoyed that she had to mop the floor every time he came in. Once the water droplets had disappeared, he headed for the main room, retrieving a blanket that was lying on the sofa before coming out.

Namor simply returned to his contemplation after wrapping the young woman in the blanket, taking care not to move the seat too much to avoid waking her. The trace of a solitary tear on her face made him look away for a moment, his jaw clenched. Seeing the young princess's misty eyes cry was one of the hardest things he'd ever seen. The last time he'd seen her cry was when they'd last met before she'd gone off to university, he nearly couldn't bare it, the only way he'd found to handle her tears was to get away from her for a while.

Here she was now, curled up in a seat next to him after calling him, her solitary tear dragging him down towards the seventh circle of hell where his conscience was trying to keep him. Sade was an element that brought joy to his life but tore his heart out as soon as she walked away from him, healing him at once with her words and gentle touches. He couldn't explain to her that she was now an integral part of him, inscribing herself in his skin, drawing her smiles into his memories, playing with what little sanity he had left.

"Namor?"

The slightly broken voice he'd grown accustomed to called out to him, pointing out that he hadn't paid attention to the fact that she'd woken up. Looking down at the blanket covering her for a moment, the young princess slowly straightened up before returning her gaze to him, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

"Hi princess." he said simply with a slight smirk, seeing the disbelief on her face.

Sade looked at him for a long moment, seeming to want to say something given the small gap between her lips that opened and closed several times.

"I-"

"No, let me speak first." she cut him off abruptly, causing him to widen his eyes as she bit her lower lip violently, looking anxious. "Please."

The Talokanil king nodded slowly, watching her play with her fingers. After a moment, she looked up at him, her gaze somewhat uncertain.

"I wanted to- I wanted to apologize." she said sharply, the sentence sounding complicated to get out of her mouth. There was a short silence before she took another breath and continued. "I wanted to apologise for my reaction, I shouldn't have got so angry with you. On one side, I already had some problems of my own with everything that happened in Wakanda this year, on the other... I was feeling like I was getting played. I'm not... used to saying when something goes wrong, I just wait for it to be over... and that's it. But I should have explained what was going on. Yes I have a hard time admitting my mistakes... I know."

The young princess made a small face at her last sentence before resuming, her gaze still fixed on the floor. "I find it hard to express myself often, but I'll try to be more vocal if I don't like something. And given your story, I shouldn't have expected of you to be the most open person ever... I'm sorry for that. I hope- I just hope you won't stay mad at me."

Biting her lips again, Sade finally looked up at him, apprehension rising at his lack of response.

"In k'iino' (my sun) ..." he let out with a sigh, making her eyes widen at the nickname he had used. "Even if I wanted to, I would never be able to be angry at you."

A weight seemed to have evaporated from the young princess' chest as she took a deep breath after holding it waiting for his response.

"And I owe you an apology too. Voicing my feelings would certainly be better than a strange metaphor written on a paper, right?" he chuckled lightly, managing to bring a thin smile to Sade's face. "I promise I'll try to be much more open, but I need time... time to really put a name to what's happening to me. Just know that... I care. A lot."

I care.

It was the only thing close to 'I love you' that he could say at the moment. But the young princess seemed content with that for the moment as she nodded gently, giving him that genuine smile he hadn't seen in a long time.

"Then, can I have a hug?"

"You don't need to ask."

Dropping the blanket at her side, Sade wrapped her arms around his chest, her head buried in the crook of his neck. Namor didn't hesitate to embrace her back, letting the scent of her body's perfume disorient his senses again, intoxicating him like an alcoholic who found only relief in the comforting taste of his drink.

"I missed this," he finally said against the skin of her shoulder, listening to the sound of her breathing intermingled with his.

"I missed you, Na-"

"Ch'ah Toh Almehen."

The young princess pulled away from him slightly, not understanding what he had just said. The Talokanil king looked at her face more closely, wondering if the feel of her lips had changed since the last time he had saved her from drowning.

"My real name. Ch'ah Toh Almehen is my real name. The one that only my mother was calling me by." he continued, relishing the adorable smile she gave him that made his heart swell.

"That's a beautiful name, Ch'ah."

He simply returned her smile before pulling her into his arms again, closing his eyes momentarily at the perfection of the moment.

The usual terror that inhabited him disappeared for a moment, replaced by a certain gratefulness. Namor knew his demons would come back to haunt him, but for the rest of this night, he wanted to keep any negativity from tainting the purity his emotions held.

He wasn't sure if he could be the person she expected him to be. He grew up into a cold, dangerous, possessive, cruel, and jealous person, everything that she wasn't. She held a monster made by her kind in her hands, comforting him like a vulnerable, harmless child. The Talokanil king could not hide it, he adored this. He would be a fool to not admit at least that.

But there was one part of him that would not disappear under any circumstances, his cowardice. He was a coward when it came to admitting the true nature of his feelings for Sade, admitting that he loved her. You could only squeeze ashes out of something that had since been burnt.

He didn't deserve that, but at least he got his New Year's wish.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

hum i came back i guess? don't really like this chapter but at least they're not angry at each other anymore. i already explained on my message board why i wasn't updating so i won't write it again here, people don't read authors notes anyway because they still ask the same questions which never start with a "hello, i hope you're doing okay [...] have a nice day!" but anyway, i'll try to update as much as college let me do so because i really want to have my exchange semester, and i have to work hard for it, even though i want to write 🤷🏾‍♀️ please bear with that short poorly written chapter and until next time ❤️

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