*UNEDITED*

Hellooooooo :)

*****
Sometimes two people love each other

so god damn much that their chemistry

turns into chaos.

*****

Brinley rolled her eyes as she listened to Clarke and Bellamy argue.

She was far enough away that she couldn't hear exactly what the two were saying, but she got the general idea. The two were arguing about what to do next, and judging by the gestures and quick glances towards her, Brinley assumed she'd become a part of the conversation.

Brinley's interest was piqued again only when she noticed Clarke begin to move away from everyone else. Brinley couldn't help but watch the way Bellamy watched after Clarke, her heart clenching painfully at the obvious worry in Bellamy's expression.

Brinley pushed her feelings away as she began to follow after Clarke after a few moments, a frown gracing her features as she began to get the foreboding feeling that something was amiss.

Sure enough, upon entering the cover of the trees, Brinley quickly stumbled upon Roan and Clarke, the latter of which looked too calm considering her weapon less state and the dangerous male in front of her.

'-I won't stop. Not until the ice nation has it's commander.'

Brinley briefly saw Clarke's eyes drift to her as she snuck up behind the Ice Nation King, but to Clarke's credit, her gaze drifted back immediately, so as not to give anything away.

Brinley pressed the tip of her sword to Roan's neck, pushing down slightly. 'I suggest you don't move.'

Brinley heard Roan let out an angry sigh as Clarke stepped away from him slightly, her hands finding her fallen weapon easily.

Clarke held her gun up, flicking off the safety and aiming it at Roan as Brinley circled the tall male like a predator, her sword raised in a defensive position until she came face to face with him.

'Gonaripa. You're less intimidating without your war paint.'

Brinley sneered. 'Makeup doesn't change what I can do, or what I know; For example, knowing exactly how many ways I could gut you from this one position.'

Roan's expression seemed to harden slightly, causing Brinley to grin wickedly.

Brinley was itching to cause Roan physical pain like he had done to her and the people she cared about. Her fingers had tightened around her sword, and Clarke noticed.

'Brinley, don't. We need him.'

Brinley let out a string of expletives. 'What could we possibly need him for?'

Before Clarke could answer, a sharp crack sounded from behind them, and Clarke whirled around – her attention wandering for a split second.

That split second was all Roan needed.

Clarke's inattention meant Roan was free to lunge backward slightly, just out of reach of Brinley's weapon. Brinley realised what had happened as she struck, aiming for Roan but having her blow blocked with practiced accuracy. Roan was good, and all it took was for Brinley to deliver another attack a split second too late, before her back was against Roan's chest, his knife at her throat and her sword at her feet.

'Roan, stop. This doesn't have to end in blood.' Clarke pleaded quickly, and it was only then that Brinley realised Roan had managed to disarm Clarke again, too.

'Oh, yes it does, and it's not going to be mine.' Roan's voice was rough, his knife digging into Brinley's skin slightly as he tightened his grip.

The was a click from behind them, and Roan spun both Brinley and himself around as Bellamy appeared from the tree line, gun aimed and loaded.

'You were saying? Hands where I can see them.'

Roan let out something akin to a humourless laugh as he shoved Brinley forwards, raising his hands, an angry look in his eyes. Roan knew all it would take was for him to so much as look at the girl in front of him wrong before a bullet lodged itself into his skull.

'You okay?' Bellamy glanced at Clarke, who nodded, before his eyes went to Brinley, his gaze lingering longer.

'You?'

'Fine.' Brinley nodded sharply.

'Then lets go.' Bellamy never lowered the gun even slightly.

'He's coming with us.' Clarke revealed.

'The hell he is.' Bellamy looked at Clarke as though she were crazy, and Brinley didn't blame him.

'Why would I do that?' Roan asked with narrowed eyes.

'Because we both want the same thing.' Clarke spoke easily. 'To put the flame in Ontari.'

Roan looked surprised, as did Bellamy. Brinley let out an angry laugh. Once again, Clarke was making decisions for everyone, without consulting anyone first -

'How do you know he's not chipped?'

-and once again, Bellamy was going along with it.

'If he were, do you think he would've saved me?' Clarke offered, gesturing to the body of a man Brinley vaguely recognised. No doubt, the man had been chipped and working for A.L.I.E.

'Still, we need to be sure.'

Brinley didn't blink as Bellamy shot Roan in the arm without a single look of regret before hitting him over the head.

'Now we're sure.' Bellamy was tight lipped.

*****

Something on Brinley's face must have given away her level of annoyance as she trailed after Clarke and Bellamy, whom were carrying Roan's unconscious form towards the rover.

Octavia immediately began firing off questions at Bellamy and Clarke through gritted teeth while Jasper barely moved from his position atop the rover. He rolled his head towards Brinley, a lazy look on his face.

'Two peas in a pod, aren't they? The king and the queen.'

Brinley didn't need names to know whom he was referring too. 'Shut up, Jasper.'

'Hey.' Brinley heard a rough voice behind her and she tensed slightly before she turned around.

'What do you want?'

'You're riding up front with me.'

Brinley stared at Bellamy for a few seconds. 'No thanks, I'll keep an eye on your prisoner.'

'Hey.' Bellamy caught Brinley's arm lightly. 'You know these areas better than I do, I need you to help navigate once we get out of here.' Bellamy glanced around at the clearing.

Brinley scoffed, jerking her arm out of his grip. 'Ask Clarke.'

Much to her annoyance, once Roan was bound and gagged in the back of the rover, Clarke announced that she'd keep an eye on him , and that Brinley could help with the navigation.

Brinley's mood was evident as she slammed the rover door behind her once she'd climbed into the passenger seat, Bellamy already seated beside her with Octavia and Jasper behind them.

After a few short, snappy directions Bellamy let out an angry sigh. 'What's wrong?'

'Absolutely nothing. Make a right here.'

'Well clearly something is wrong.' Bellamy rolled his eyes, hands tensing on the steering wheel.

Brinley bit her tongue, because she knew what she was feeling stemmed from jealousy towards Clarke. Brinley was jealous that all the blonde had to do was open her mouth and have Bellamy complying to her every suggestion. Brinley, on the other hand, had to argue with Bellamy to get him to simply listen to her half the time.

'Make a left here.'

Bellamy cursed under his breath, but did what she said.

*****

'What happened to his arm?'

Brinley tore her eyes from the spot where Bellamy, Miller and Brian had disappeared. Roan's appearance had caused disturbance amongst the group upon arrival to Arkadia. Though admittedly, Brinley's mood had improved slightly upon sight of the rest of her friends, safe and unharmed.

Monty and Jasper's small exchange had lit a flare of hope inside Brinley that maybe things would be okay.

Brinley laughed at the question, answering in an almost uncaring tone. 'Bellamy shot him.'

Monty's eyes widened. 'Good luck getting him to cooperate.'

Brinley laughed as she left the area without a second glance, fists clenched inside her jacket pockets, one destination on her mind, because despite the people surrounding her, there were still faces missing from the group.

It didn't take her long to get there; the room itself was entirely unremarkable. She reached for the small stash of belongings she'd hidden before they'd left to find Luna, knowing that she could only take the bare necessities on their journey.

Her fingers wrapped around the familiar fabric, a lump forming in her throat.

John Murphy never really left her mind, not really. It was times like these, the dark times when Brinley felt like she was losing control, that she missed him the most. Murphy knew how to handle her, and what to say to make her feel less alone in the world, just as she knew him. At one point, Bellamy had been the only other person who knew Brinley as well as John Murphy.

And now both of them were unreachable.

Brinley didn't realise tears had fallen until she glanced down and found her vision slightly hazy and blurred with tears. She quickly wiped her eyes, fingers grazing the small pot of black paint that Lincoln had gifted her, along with a small wooden heart that had been a gift from Bellamy while she'd been recovering from Mount Weather. If she thought hard enough, Brinley could recall the exact shade of pink his cheeks had gone as she'd teased him mercilessly about the romantic gesture, though she'd secretly loved the gift, so much so that she'd kept it stored safely away.

Brinley heard footsteps coming towards her as she swiped her hand over her face, discarding her jacket and replacing it with Murphy's as she stood, pushing her other belongings deep into the pockets.

'Brin?'

Brinley looked up at Miller, who stood in the doorway with a confused look on his face.

'Thought you were with Bellamy?' Brinley questioned flatly.

'I was, he's with Clarke and the Ice King.' Miller snorted.

'I should have guessed.' Brinley ran her fingers through her hair.

'What are you doing in here?' Miller looked around Brinley's former room curiously.

'Just grabbing something.' Brinley shrugged, her movements catching Miller's eye.

'Is that Murphy's?' It took Miller a moment to place the familiar item.

Brinley hummed, dipping her head lightly in a yes.

'Brin-'

'Let's go find the others.' Brinley suggested quickly, seeing a look of pity creep onto Miller's face.

Miller and Brinley found the group easily, Bellamy was barking out orders, while Clarke and Roan were nowhere in sight.

Miller was quickly called away by Brian, but not before he could give Brinley a light squeeze of reassurance, one that Brinley appreciated despite the bored expression plastered onto her face.

Brinley sighed after a moment, forcing her feet in Bellamy's direction. 'How can I help, sir?'

Bellamy's jaw locked at the mocking tone in Brinley's voice, but his irritated expression slipped as he turned to look at her, noting the prominent dark circles under her eyes and the familiar jacket that was obviously too big on her.

The snarky reply that had been on the tip of Bellamy's tongue melted away and his hardened expression relaxed. 'Right now, you can't. Let's take a walk.'

Brinley grit her teeth. 'Do I have a choice?'

Bellamy's brow furrowed. 'You always have a choice, Brinley.'

Brinley tried to convince herself that Bellamy's genuine answer was the only reason that she nodded after a second, allowing Bellamy to lead them away from the rest of the group.

Despite her best efforts, Brinley knew she was lying to herself.

Neither of them spoke as they walked, Brinley slightly behind Bellamy's taller form, but both individuals could feel the tension in the air between them. Brinley didn't realise where they were going until Bellamy had swung open the door, flicking the light on as he did so.

Brinley stood in the doorway of the familiar space, unmoving even as Bellamy entered the room. She could see from the tense set of his shoulders that this room made him uncomfortable, too. But why, she didn't know.

'Are you just going to stand there?'

Brinley refocused her gaze on Bellamy's dark eyes. 'Why are we here?'

'This place was ours.' Bellamy's voice was tight. 'Seemed fitting.'

Brinley fought back the urge to correct Bellamy. This room had been assigned to him after all; she'd just taken up semi-permanent residence at his suggestion after she'd been injured in Mount Weather.

No big deal.

'Look, I don't know why we're here but- Bellamy, what are you doing?'

Bellamy had thrown a blanket onto the bed, shaking out the existing covers as he did so. Brinley's brows were furrowed in confusion at the actions.

'You're exhausted.' Bellamy finally spoke when he was standing in front of her again.

'All of us are.'

Bellamy shook his head. 'I haven't seen you sleep properly since before Mount Weather.' Bellamy didn't acknowledge the months in which Brinley was gone, he didn't have to, he'd known from the moment she'd returned that Brinley was barely sleeping.

'This is stupid.' Brinley rolled her eyes, freezing as she felt Bellamy's fingertips graze her hand, her voice changing pitch briefly as she spoke. 'The others are waiting to leave.'

'What's stupid, is you being too tired to defend yourself when we come up against more of A.L.I.E's army.' Bellamy sounded more like the leader Brinley knew, and less like the softer version of himself he'd been moments before. 'We still have to finish getting the gear together, and Clarke and Roan are still discussing the situation.'

Brinley scoffed, her eyes momentarily drifting to the bed that she knew was much more comfortable than any surface she'd slept on in months. Bellamy caught her gaze drifting, giving her a sharp tug towards the nest of blankets.

'It's not fair-'

'We sleep in shifts. Its your turn first.'

Brinley sat in the middle of the bed, legs crossed and back rigid and tense as Bellamy placed himself on the very edge of the bed, giving her space.

Brinley waited for Bellamy to speak first.

Bellamy studied her for a moment. 'Are you still upset about what happened at Luna's?'

'Yes.' Brinley's answer was swift and sharp, having expected the onslaught of questions once Bellamy had her where he wanted.

Bellamy sighed, nodding to himself slightly, a strange note of desperation creeping into his voice. 'You have to understand-'

'I don't have to do anything.' Brinley snapped back heatedly. 'All of you went behind my back and proceeded to go along with a plan that I told you wouldn't work, a plan I would have been implicated in! And not only that you-' Brinley cut her words off.

'I what?' Bellamy's nails were digging into his palm.

Brinley hesitated for a moment. 'You used our history, and my feelings, to manipulate me into playing the part you and Clarke chose for me. ' Brinley's eyes narrowed. 'Do you have any idea how fucking terrible that makes me feel? To know that whatever we had in the past is no more than a strategic move to you? Just a way to make me compliant.'

Bellamy's chest tightened at the accusation in Brinley's tone and eyes. 'It wasn't like that-'

'Wasn't it? You have every right to hate me for leaving, for running away but you have no right to use my feelings against me like that.'

'Brinley, everything I said was true.' Bellamy's words were coming out faster now. 'I meant everything I said. That doesn't make it okay, but I never lied to you. The timing was just... convenient.'

Brinley shook her head. 'I'm done talking about this, you know how I see it and how I feel.'

Bellamy's head hung low for a moment before he let out a sigh. Brinley noticed that he looked paler that he had only moments ago, as though he'd seen a ghost.

'Try and get some sleep. I'll get Octavia or Miller to wake you up when we're ready to leave.' Bellamy wasn't looking at her.

Brinley wanted to protest, tell Bellamy that Clarke and Octavia needed the sleep more, but already she found herself too comfortable to imagine getting up any time soon. She felt selfish, but Bellamy was right – she needed to be 100 percent ready to throw her all into a fight.

Brinley nodded her head sharply, watching as Bellamy started to move, but stopped, turning to face her again.

'I know you miss him.' Bellamy eyed the jacket Brinley was wearing. 'I know you're worried about him and whenever you're upset, you put that jacket on. I just want you to know, that I'll do everything I can to find Murphy, I promise. We'll bring him home.'

Brinley was stunned by Bellamy's words. Bellamy and Murphy could barely be in the same room without all hell breaking loose, so Bellamy's words meant more to her than he probably realised. Of course, there was a small voice in the back of her mind wondering if Bellamy was using her emotions to his advantage, but she dismissed it quickly. Bellamy's tone was genuine, and really, what did he have to gain?

Bellamy saw the shell-shocked look on Brinley's face as he stood up. She looked almost innocent will all the anger wiped from her face; her dark eyes wide and her mouth frozen in a small 'o' shape.

'Bellamy-' Brinley's voice wavered as she reached out, catching his hand as he stood up.

Bellamy shook his head. Brinley didn't have to say anything, regardless of where they stood, Bellamy would always have Brinley's best interests at heart, and if Bellamy himself couldn't be there for her the way he wanted to because of his actions, then at the very least she'd have Murphy, perhaps the only other person whose dedication to keeping Brinley alive matched that of Bellamy's own.

Bellamy stared at Brinley's smaller hand wrapped around his own for an instant before he gave in to temptation, leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead lightly, surprised when he didn't feel her tense. Bellamy squeezed his eyes shut tightly, losing himself in the moment, before he opened them, pulling away.

Bellamy's eyes flickered down to Brinley; worry coursing through him as he noticed tear tracks on her face. 'Brin-'

Brinley shook her head. Brinley wasn't sobbing by any means, but her hands were shaking and her eyes were unfocused and hazy.

Brinley had been surprised and moved by Bellamy's words, but the small touch of affection from him had sent her heart into overdrive, sending a sudden aching wave of need over her. Later on, Brinley was sure she'd blame it on a sleep-deprived delirium, but in that moment Brinley wanted nothing more than to admit how she felt and how much she wanted Bellamy to stay.

Bellamy was concerned he'd done something entirely wrong, so a short sigh of relief left him when he placed his hand on her arm and she didn't shy away from his touch.

Bellamy pulled Brinley towards him, wrapping his arms around her as he relaxed them both into the mattress. The position was familiar, and Bellamy's hand unconsciously began playing with Brinley's hair, a move that he knew both comforted and relaxed Brinley.

Brinley let it happen, her heart pounding against her chest as she rested her head on Bellamy's chest, her fingers gripping onto his shirt gently. 'You have no idea how much that means to me.' Brinley whispered quietly, voice breaking slightly. 'I want to find him.'

'And you will.' Bellamy promised. 'We will.'

Brinley squeezed her eyes shut; revelling in the warmth and security that being in Bellamy's arms gave her. Bellamy continued smoothing Brinley's hair down; watching as her shaking eventually subsided and her eyes began to close.

Bellamy continued to watch as Brinley's breathing evened out and her grip on his shirt slackened in her unconscious state. Bellamy continued his movements; his quiet words the only thing breaking the still atmosphere around them, the old language rolling off his tongue effortlessly as Brinley slept soundly beside him.

'My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee,
the more I have, for both are infinite.'

*****

Bellamy made his way back to re-join the others, only after ensuring that Brinley was fast asleep, comfortable and safe. He wanted nothing more than to stay, but duty was calling and he knew they still had work to do.

Bellamy ignored the curious looks from his friends when he reappeared without Brinley. Octavia was staring at him intensely, her gaze being the only one Bellamy couldn't ignore.

'What? What is it, O?'

'Where's Brinley?' Octavia asked immediately.

'She's sleeping.' Bellamy replied shortly.

'Oh, it took you over forty minutes to walk her to her room?' Octavia crossed her arms, eyebrow raised in suspicion.

'Octavia, just leave it. We have work to do.'

'No.' Octavia snapped. 'I won't leave it. You two are infuriating.'

'How?' Bellamy mimicked Octavia's crossed arms.

'Because you have what so many other people want, but for some reason you choose to ignore it and pretend like it isn't happening.'

'What are you talking about?' Bellamy asked even thought he had a feeling he already knew what she was getting at.

'You know what I'm talking about.' Octavia rolled her eyes. 'You're both just too damn stubborn to admit it.'

Octavia walked away from Bellamy in a huff. No matter how much she was hurting, or how focused she was on their mission, she still noticed the longing gazes and undeniable tension between Bellamy and Brinley. Losing Lincoln had put things into perspective for Octavia and had changed her thought process on some aspects of life. For example, why would you waste time pretending not to care about someone when everything you loved, every person you loved, could be snatched from your grip without any given warning?

Octavia regretted the time she'd spent angry with Lincoln for trivial things, when those moments could have been used much more wisely, and the last thing she wanted was for Bellamy and Brinley to feel the same way she did if, god forbid, anything happened to either of them.

Lately, the two of them had been playing on her mind, as she watched them argue and push themselves further away from any sort of reconciliation. More than once, Octavia had been privy to the brief flashes of jealousy crossing Brinley's face whenever Bellamy spoke to Clarke.

Stubborn, she thought as she walked away, is putting it mildly.