Luckily, for the rest of the afternoon, there's no more patrolling. Instead, the other girls and I head over to the training center, where Bettina and Raine usually hang out all day. Bettina is excited to introduce me to her boyfriend while Raine is distracted. She's busy scoping out the new arrivals. I'm amazed by their easy chitchat; neither of them seem disturbed at all by what happened this morning.

We meet up with Bettina's boyfriend in the combat center. He's standing next to the boxing ring; when she joins him, his face lights up. I immediately like him.

"Stacy, this is Ramon."

He pulls Bettina into a hug, giving me a friendly wink over her shoulder. "You're Felipe's friend, right? He talks about you all the time."

My heart soars. I miss Felipe and wish he were here. I'm about to answer, but Ramon was only being nice. His full attention has shifted to Bettina, leaving a tinge of rejection in my mouth. He sways her gently in his arms like they are dancing, his whispers making her grin.

"Those two should get a room," Raine mumbles under her breath, though envy colors the words green. "They make me sick."

I frown at her; she's such a backstabber. To Bettina's face, she always pretends how happy she is for her friend.

After that, Raine ignores me and watches the fighters in the ring. The shorter soldier is one of the young boys who just arrived yesterday. He's sweating like crazy but stands his ground while a giant tries to break through his defenses. I don't know a lot about boxing, but the boy seems to have really quick reflexes.

A sudden voice from behind startles me. "Hola, corazoncito, qué tal?"

I spin around, accidentally stepping on someone's foot. The guy is standing way too close for my liking.

"Mano, no." Ramon's glare is full of warning. "Es Stacy."

The dude takes a step back and throws up his hands. "Hey, I didn't know." His accent is so thick, I can barely understand him. "Pensé que es par quién la quiera."

Raine snorts. "Of course you did." The look she gives him is murderous. "Cabrón."

With her nose stuck up in the air, she storms off, leaving the guy and Ramon to chuckle. A rapid exchange in Spanish is next. I have no clue what's going on.

Bettina pulls me aside for some privacy. "That's Raine's ex-boyfriend, Alejandro. He's a real dog and pretty much hits on any new arrival. He even tried with me once, but Ramon convinced him that it wasn't a good idea."

"Is that why they broke up?" I lower my gaze; I shouldn't be nosy.

"That and he got a little rough at times. When Raine had had enough, she went to Miguel and complained. Luckily, he agreed that they could split. Otherwise, she would be stuck with that jerk."

I stare at her with bewilderment. "Why would Miguel have to give his permission?"

"That's how things work around here. Without Miguel, nothing goes."

"But couldn't she have gone home if he had said no?"

"I suppose, but there's no real place for Raine to go back to. Her family kicked her out, and she lived on the streets for a few months before coming here."

"That's terrible." A life away from my parents' home is unimaginable. It would mean that I'd have to take care of myself and earn my own money. An absolutely daunting prospect. I could never make it without their financial support.

"What about you? Do you miss your family?"

She snorts. "My father is an alcoholic who beat me all the time. I'm happy to be out of there. Most of us are in the same boat. Our families don't care and we had no future. Malaguay is different. Here, we can start over and have the type of family we've always dreamed of."

"And how does the whole matching thing work? Are there many foreign girls here?"

"Girls are only recruited for high-ranking officers, but there are quite a few of us—maybe two dozen in total."

"But why are they recruited to begin with? There must be plenty of women in Malaguay?"

Bettina shrugs. "The class system is pretty rigid, plus the education system is bad. Most girls are illiterate and from a poor background. The leading families don't mix with them and Ramon told me once that they are not suited for high-ranking officers. They want a spouse with some intellect."

"And are they happy?"

"I think so—except for Shauna, maybe—though I don't have that much interaction with those who got married. They have their families and stick to themselves, so I only get to see them during public functions when all the foreign girls are invited."

"And Shauna?"

"She and Tomás have issues, but if I were you, I wouldn't get involved. Tomás and Felipe are inseparable, and if you criticize Tomás in front of Felipe, he'll just get mad at you. It's not worth it. Ultimately, Shauna and Tomás have to work it out themselves."

It's something my mother would've said. In our church, everyone has always minded their own business. Gossip is one thing but meddling in another family's problems is just not done unless they ask for help or it's Pastor Colin who takes the initiative. It's a matter of respect for the sacred bond of matrimony.

Ramon steps into the ring and spars with the young boy, who looks totally exhausted. I glance around for Alejandro, but fortunately, he has moved over to a group of his friends.

"Was it hard to learn Spanish?" I ask Bettina.

"Not really. Ramon and his parents are fluent in English, so there was no need, but I've always enjoyed learning languages and Ramon thought it couldn't hurt. Most girls pick it up automatically when they are matched with someone who doesn't speak English. That's how Raine learned most of her Spanish."

Since Malaguay has no mandatory schooling, her boyfriend's level of foreign-language skills is surprising. "Where did Ramon learn how to speak English?"

"He lived in the States with his mother until the last overthrow." Her eyes shine as she watches him joking around with the boy. "His father is some bigwig in the army and a close friend of President Rizo. After Ramon and his mother returned to Malaguay, he had private tutors and even got an International Baccalaureate. I'm really glad because that makes him eligible to work in the office. I don't even want to imagine what could happen to him if he was a regular soldier."

That Felipe might be engaged in battle at this exact moment sends a shiver down my spine. Bettina is so lucky; Ramon doesn't only seem to love her to pieces but also has his act together.

"When are you guys gonna get married?"

Bettina's face lights up like a Christmas tree. "Soon." She bites her lip, her eyes beaming with excitement as she strokes the small baby bump. "Ramon definitely wants to tie the knot before the baby is born, and I'm already eighteen weeks." She nudges my shoulder. "Maybe we could have a double wedding."

It's a nice idea but way too early. I want to get to know Felipe better before making such a commitment. There's still so much I don't know about him, and after the patrol this morning, living in Malaguay is out of the question. We would have to move to the States, which might be complicated, though I'm convinced Felipe will find a way to be with me if things work out between us.

I give her a crooked smile. "Let's wait and see."

After that, the situation goes from forced to awkward since I have no idea how to keep the conversation going. When Ramon rejoins us, they ask if I want to have coffee with them in the mess hall, and I don't want to be rude and decline.

With a little probing, he opens up. "I grew up in Miami. My mom is from Colombia, and her parents own a big hacienda there where I used to spend my summers." He smiles at some distant, font memory. "I had the best of both worlds, though to be honest, I don't really care where I live, as long as it's with Bettina."

Kissing and holding hands, they are so engrossed in each other that I get intruder vibes. Their giddiness is a little annoying. When it gets to be too much, I excuse myself and return to the dorm.

Pulling out the small notebook that I brought to keep a diary, I write a letter to my parents. I don't get beyond the first couple of lines, the impressions of the last few days still too overwhelming to put into words. I hate Malaguay just as much as I love it and the only thing I'm clear about is my feelings for Felipe. Though there were times he upset me when he was harsh or in a foul mood, it's just a part of being human. We all have flaws and he's as perfect as he can be. I write his name all over the pages, circling them with little stars. My longing for him is suddenly crushing. A few tears drop on the page, smudging the ink.

When the events from this morning rattle me again, I trudge through the compound in search of a computer. Maybe sending my family a quick email to let them know not to worry will ease some of my tension, or at least the guilt, for not contacting them since my arrival. Bettina mentioned something about an office, and since Felipe and I always communicated online, they must have the internet.

I find a soldier who speaks a little bit of broken English. He points to the barrack closest to the fence on the other side of the compound. "Este es el centro de reclutamiento."

I nod, figuring that this is where the computers are. I stroll across the yard, my smile fading when I find two armed guards who have taken up post right in front of the barrack. Just as expected, they step in my way before I get through the door.

I beam at them. "I just want to use the internet for a few minutes. I need to let my family know that I'm fine."

They glare at me without flinching a muscle.

"I'm Felipe Gallega's girlfriend." This should give my words some authority. They must surely know that he's the president's nephew and someone in charge.

They stare at me without showing even the slightest inclination of letting me in.

"Felipe will be very angry if you don't allow me to use the computer."

They don't budge under my threat, their faces totally blank. They might not even understand me. I decide on a stare off, but they are unimpressed by my best evil glare.

"Stacy, what are you doing?"

I turn around and find Ramon. "I just want to send a quick email."

"I'm sorry, but only authorized personnel are allowed to use the computers. You need clearance from Miguel."

Of course I do. It's surprising that I don't need to ask him to use the bathroom.

Ramon's smile is reserved. "This is a restricted area and you should go back to Bettina. She was looking for you."

"Then can I give you my dad's email address and you'll let him know that I arrived safely?"

"Sure. What's the address?"

"P underscore Degray at yahoo dot com."

"Okay, go back to Bettina now." His tone has turned cold and gives me goosebumps. "I promise I'll take care of it."

"Thanks." Despite his reassurance, I can't shake the feeling that he's lying. I intend to tell Felipe about it. It's ridiculous that I can't even use the computer for five minutes, especially since Miguel took my phone.

Reluctantly, I look for Bettina but when I can't track her down anywhere, I retreat into the safety of the dorm. It feels even more like a prison now, and my mood has plummeted. When Felipe is back, I'll need to set down some ground rules.

~~~~

I stick to myself for the rest of the afternoon, sulking silently in misery. My stomach has turned into tight knots; I'm not sure if the little bit of food I ate for lunch or all the stress is the culprit. When Bettina insists that I tag along with her and Raine at dinnertime, I give in, not eager to have them make a big fuss about my health again. Choking down a few spoons of stew, I chew without really tasting anything. Afterward, my stomach feels a little better, though a pounding headache is now bothering me. Luckily, Bettina has plans with Ramon for the rest of the night and Raine is eager to flirt with a new arrival. He looks much younger than her but is smitten by the attention.

As soon as I hit the mattress, exhaustion overwhelms me. I surrender to an uneasy sleep, just to be startled awake by my heaving stomach. I can hardly contain the bile pushing up in my throat. Jumping out of bed, I cup my hand over my mouth. My stomach heaves again and I catch an onrush of vomit in my hands. Half of it still runs through my fingers and down my neck. I shudder but manage to reach the toilet before the next wave.

I gurgle, gasping for air. I hurl again, a bitter taste soon filling my mouth. After what seems an eternity, my stomach is empty. Panting, I lean my tear-stricken face against the cool tiles. My breath slows, but the smell from my shirt is so revolting that it almost turns my abdomen again. Best to take a shower.

Hopping over the freezing bathroom floor, I peek around the door. The hallway is deserted. I hurry across the corridor and slip into the communal shower room, noticing the soft light in the window of the door too late. When I cross the threshold, the razor blade freezes in Miguel's hand.

He's standing by the sink with only a towel around his waist, the shaving cream dripping off his chin. Several scars cover his torso—they look like stab wounds—and others are welted and span vertically across his entire back.

His gaze is fixed on my bare thighs, making my cheeks sting. I'm well aware that my clothes only consist of an oversized, stained T-shirt.

"I just want to take a shower," I mumble.

He remains frozen, gawking at me. He probably smells the vomit and must think I'm totally gross.

"Go ahead."

I release the breath I was holding.

He turns back toward the mirror and dips the razor blade into the water. Shaking off some droplets, he runs it alongside his chin.

I'm walking toward the shower when his question stops me in my tracks. "Are you feeling all right? You look a little pale."

"Yeah, I'm fine." On cue, the room spins and I close my eyes. As I take another step, my knees buckle. If he hadn't caught me, I would've fallen.

His face is strained with concern. "Do you have a headache?"

"Yes. I think I'm coming down with a cold."

He runs his fingers over the back of my neck, a deep crease cutting through his forehead. "How long have you had these symptoms?"

"A few days."

"Felipe should've taken you to a doctor earlier."

Why is everyone making such a big fuss about this? A little bug is not a big deal. "I'm all right. All I need is a hot shower and a good night's sleep."

"Are you sure? I don't mind taking you to the doctor now."

I give him a crooked smile, straightening myself. "Here, all better. I really don't need to see a doctor."

He catches my chin and forces me to look at him. "Okay, but you have to promise that you'll tell me if you continue to feel sick, Stacy."

Oh, he remembered my name.

"Scout's honor." I cross my heart, tossing him a teasing grin.

He returns a small smile, the tension wiped off his face. "All right then."

Neither of us looks away and a tingling warmth spreads in my lower region. I want to break eye contact so badly, but something in his gaze keeps me captured. Still grinning, he finally releases my chin and returns to his shaving exercise.

For a moment, I'm entranced by his strong hands and his pursed, full lips. It takes all my effort to refocus on the shower stall but once again, I don't get far.

"Hey, where's your towel?"

I close my eyes. "I forgot."

With a chuckle, he loosens his own and hands it to me. I can't help but scan over his naked body. A sharp pull in my groin finally distracts me and I quickly drop my gaze. Other than a diagram in my biology book, I've never seen an unclothed man before, and I'm not sure if it's a sin to ogle a guy who isn't my husband. The heat in my cheeks burns like fire, though my eyes are drawn to the forbidden fruit. I sneak another quick peek as I spin around.

Please forgive me, Father.

Hopping into the shower, I force my focus to stay on the wall. I slam the door to the stall shut and fiddle with the shower knob. My hand trembles, the sudden shiver on my skin unsettling.

The warm water pelting down on me is soothing and eases the pressure in my head. I lather my skin a few times to get rid of the sticky feeling, cooling my body afterward by turning the lever to cold. Though my body is drained and weak, I can't get my thumping heart under control. Each time my mind strays to Miguel and those forbidden body parts, it speeds up and gets me all fidgety.

When I step out of the shower, Miguel is gone. Sudden disappointment gnaws at me. The razor blade has been deposited in the waste basket and the sink is neatly cleaned. Strange that he was even here at the compound and not over at the mansion, but he's probably visiting Juana.

Getting back to my room, I slide quietly into my bed. With the blanket tightly tucked around me, I trace the spot where Miguel held my chin. I sigh. His eyes were so warm and his smile was amazing. Then incredible guilt sobers me up. How can I fantasize about a man who has another girlfriend? Besides, Felipe deserves more loyalty and Mom would kill me if she knew about my impure thoughts.

I send another quick prayer toward heaven in the hopes that my imagination will be curbed, but Miguel's touch still burns my skin even as my eyelids begin to flutter. With another sigh, I roll on my side. How could my life have become so complicated in just a matter of minutes?

~~~~

© Sal Mason 2017

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