By doll standards, I would surmise that the doll looked extremely average. It was exactly what you would expect to see sitting across from any toddler at a fairy princess tea party. Golden ringlets that rested on her shoulders. A smile that emphasized her dimples. Big blue eyes that would close when you would lie the doll back. A pink dress with lacy frills lining the bottom. Puffy sleeves. White stockings. Little pink shoes with bows covering the toes. While sitting within what I assumed was a birdcage on the counter in front of me, she sat up to about ten inches with her dainty legs stretched out lazily before her. Average as average can be. Nothing at all seemed out of place. Except for the fact that she was in said birdcage. 

I gave the doll another hard glance, then turned my eyes back to the very stern looking woman that brought her in. She wore a lot of leather. I am talking head to toe kind of leather. I figured there had to be a motorcycle and a bar waiting for her outside. One of her hands rested on the counter between us, even that wore fingerless leather gloves. Now, I'm not really one to make too many assumptions based on appearance, but if I'm being honest, I never would have expected a woman who looked like that to own a doll that looked like this. Weird. The only other thing that made this situation weird was the fact that she was trying to convince me that there was a demon living within said doll. Hence why she was trying to sell it to me.

I have seen a few things in my time at Want For Not. Cursed objects were just another item in inventory in my book. Were demon possessed objects the same as cursed objects? Both could bring misfortune, I assumed. Or death. There wasn't exactly a running offer for demon dolls. Even if there was, I wasn't sure if this doll was actually possessed, or if this lady deliberately wore far too much leather (in my opinion) as a means to intimidate me into buying some old childhood toy. It didn't help that she gave me literally nothing to go on except for "How much you got to buy this doll? It's got a demon in it." As if I was supposed to automatically take her word for it.

I had been looking between the two of them for a minute now, trying to determine what I should make of it. I finally found something to say, though it wasn't much more than we had already established, "This is a possessed doll?"

"It's got a demon in it." She repeated a little slower yet in a ruder tone this time. So far, our conversation was off to a very redundant start.

I decided I needed to actively try to fish for more information since she didn't care to willingly provide it. "How do you know it's possessed?"

"You know many dolls that can talk?" She snapped as if I had offended her.

"Yes." I said blatantly and without hesitation, "They manufacture them that way."

She folded her arms now, making the leather seem to grumble right along with the sour expression she was giving me, "Are you assuming that I don't know the difference between manufactured phrases as opposed to very specific and detailed threats that pour out of this little hellspawn's mouth?"

I looked back at the doll, who had remained unchanged, still smiling in her cage, then back at the woman. "Does she do it on command or...?"

I think the woman was understanding my meaning now. She, too, looked at the doll for a moment. She then unfolded her arms and took hold of the handle at the top of the birdcage to give it a quick shake while speaking harshly to the little doll, "You ain't fooling no one. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, and you ain't gonna like the hard way."

I waited. She waited. We both waited. After a couple minutes of absolutely nothing, the woman grumbled under her breath. Then she pulled a lighter out of her pocket and lowered the open flame next to the bars on which the doll was leaning, threatening her blonde curls. As if on very reflex, the doll could be heard saying in a cute and childish voice, "Let's play!" Right along with a recorded giggle. The woman closed the lighter and looked up to me as if to say "I told you so."

I wasn't convinced. That was very clearly a prerecorded and programmed response that basically every child's doll says. See, in my line of work, people will try to sell me anything. I mean anything. They all come in with their stories and their weird family heirlooms and expect me to pay them to take rubbish off their hands. I may have been what most would call "oblivious" or "ditzy" but I was not completely clueless. I was aware that scams are a thing. Even in the weird world. I couldn't be tossing money away on snake oils. Which, by the way, I have had people who have literally tried to sell me snake oil. Though that is a different experience to share for a different time. For now, it was this doll. This very, very normal acting doll. I could admit that the timing would be considered convenient, but I couldn't put it past this woman to be hiding some kind of control switch on her somewhere. I suppose my expression was enough to let her know that I wasn't sold.

"I know what you're thinking," She confirmed that much, "But this doll doesn't have batteries. There's not even a mechanism for it to contain or use batteries. It's all plush, stuffing, and darkness."

The next part I said should have been a given, "You know I'm going to have to check it, right?" I lifted my hand to pinch the latch, which would open the cage.

Immediately, the woman yanked the cage back before I had even made contact, "Don't open it!" She exclaimed with a hint of fear that was oddly troubling coming from a woman wearing that much leather and who had probably earned some wild street name through her fair share of victorious knife fights. I'll admit, that worried me. Slightly. But it's important to remember that con artists are excellent actors and know how to present a product.

Keeping this in mind, I frowned at her while stating the obvious, "You're aware that was highly suspect, right? She doesn't have batteries or any other electronic devices in her, but I'm not allowed to inspect her? Who buys an item they can't inspect anyway?"

"You can't open this cage. Never open this cage." She insisted heatedly and stared me down hard as she slowly rested the cage back on the counter. "You have no idea what you would be opening. It took me forever to get this thing in here, and there's protections put over this that keeps it contained. While it's in here, it can't hurt anyone."

By her tone and expression, she was either a practiced actress or she believed what she was saying to be true. Be that as it may, I still couldn't be expected to believe this was real. I let out a sigh, "You realize this is pretty awkward, right?" I had seen some crazies come in here, but I could tell she was at least present enough to understand the current dilemma.

"I know how this looks." She said with that don't-you-sit-there-and-judge-me tone, "But I never came in here expecting to empty your safe. I'll level with you. I just want it gone. I'll take whatever you'll pay for it."

"If you want to get rid of it so badly, why not just throw it away?" I suggested.

"Gee." She began with a chipper amount of sarcasm, "Why didn't I think of that? Why did I drive all the way to this shady hole in the wall when I could have just tossed this thing in the trash bin?"

I waited for her to say more. She was silent as she stared at me. Was she waiting for me to respond to that? Was I supposed to inquire further? This staring contest was getting uncomfortable. I opened my mouth to say something, but she beat me to it, "Don't you think I tried that, Einstein? I've thrown it away. I've burned it. I've buried it. I've put it through a lawn mower. I've sealed it in a box with rocks and dropped it in the middle of a lake. Yet every new day, it is sitting right back in my house as if nothing happened. I can't get rid of it!"

"Mhm." I nodded to show some sense of understanding, "I hear you. I do," I assured her, "But hear me out. If what you are saying is true and this doll is following you, then I would be paying you money for an item that is just going to be technically stolen from me again by tomorrow?"

"Not if you buy it." She said quickly. "It doesn't follow me. It follows the owner. Buy it from me, and you can have it for as long as you like. Take it home with you, I don't care."

"Do I look like a guy that has tea parties often? Again," I reminded her of our current pickle, "You want me to hand you money for an item I'm not convinced is worth it, I'm not allowed to inspect it at all and for it not to disappear on me, I still need to hand you money." If this lady was a con artist, I was trying to figure out if she was a really good one or a really bad one. "You understand why most businesses can't operate on the honor system."

She spoke through clenched teeth at me, "I just need to transfer ownership. Pay me the gas it took to get over here, and I'll be on my way." At this point, I was almost willing to pay her from my own pocket to get her out of the shop. Almost, but not quite. As long as I could sell it for more than I bought it for, then it would be good enough, and my boss shouldn't be bothered.

I punched a few buttons on the register to open the till. The dollar bills were still wrapped up with a rubber band, as it was still early in the night, so I went with the next smallest option that would be the fastest and hopefully the least insulting. I studied her face as I slid the five dollar bill across the counter. Thankfully, it was just as she said. Without any delay, she slapped her gloved hand on the countertop to reel it in and stuff it into her bra as if she had to hurry before I changed my mind. I certainly wasn't going to ask for it back now, even if I did.

"It's done." She said, looking at the doll now, speaking to it rather than me. She took a couple of steps backward before she said to me in a tone that was as equally relieved as it was ominous, "It's your problem now." With that, she left, letting the bell above the door ring to announce the grand escape to her new life.

Now, it was just me and the doll at the counter. I glanced back at the doll, still in its cage and utterly insignificant looking. I wondered how much I could try to sell it for. I had buyers for cursed items, but not possessed ones. I was sure I could find someone willing to buy it eventually. If it was anything like the woman had claimed it to be. I took hold of the cage to slide the thing right in front of me. I bent down slightly to stare at that perfectly still inanimate object. After two or three minutes of losing that staring contest on repeat, I sighed, "I definitely got swindled. That lady was good."

With that, I took the handle and lifted my newly purchased annoyance and turned around to hang the cage from one of the hooks behind the counter that was originally meant for any common potted house plant. If nothing else, it at least added to the atmosphere of potentially creepy things you may find here.