A commission for Bebek, she wants a proper confession after the 2nd time LWJ got drunk. Thank you for your order!

A thing, something. 

Yiling Patriarch was indeed a formidable force, a fearsome lone soul who managed to shake the cultivation world back in the past. His glory as a disciple of Jiang Sect might or might not be another handicap he had to raise his fame. His confidence over his own strength and potential, some found it charming, some annoying. Does he care? Well, not so much. But it's true that deep down, beneath that mask as the fearless patriarch, the gentle soul he has is as pure as jade.

But there is something more. Something he thinks only Lan Wangji is able to notice. 

"Lan Zhan?" He waves his hand in front of Lan Wangji's face. "Are you awake?" 

His soft whispers make Lan Wangji shift his gaze, stare at him through the half-lidded eyes. The cold usually lingers around those orbs somehow diluted into something more… gentle. Though Wei Wuxian, with his intelligence, somehow too stupid to understand the meaning of that deep gaze. 

"Lan Zhan?" 

Wei Wuxian leans forward, peers into Lan Wangji's golden eyes closer. Even in this barely lighted room, Lan Wangji's eyes glistened, adding more to his all-rounded beauty. Wei Wuxian is lying if he says it doesn't make his heart skip a beat. Especially knowing those eyes are locked to his own.

"...mm."

"Are you awake?" 

"...awake."

"Are you?" Wei Wuxian waves his hand again, but Lan Wangji caught his hand this time. 

"Awake." 

"Okay, okay. You're awake, I get it." He tries to shook the grip with no avail. "Lan Zhan, let go of my hand." 

"No." 

"Why not? Won't you listen to my words anymore?" 

Lan Wangji frowns. The grip around Wei Wuxian's hand gets stronger. Though it's not enough to make him scream in pain, the strength Lan Wangji puts is enough to make him flinch. Before he could say anything, the frowns on Lan Wangji's forehead got deeper. And also something else. 

He is sulking. 

"...Lan Zhan, why are you making that face? Why are you sulking? I should be the one sulking here." Lan Wangji stills, and Wei Wuxian knows whatever he said will have no effect. "Fine, fine. I'm sorry? you can keep holding my hand, okay? Is there something you wish to do?" 

"Play." 

"Hmm?" 

Lan Wangji gives him a look. "Play." 

"...play… what?" 

Instead of answering, Lan Wangji shook his head and stood. He doesn't hesitate to break the window after taking Bichen if not Wei Wuxian hurriedly drags him towards the door. The Innkeeper currently cleaning up gives them a strange look but decided not to bother with the gentlemen. Wei Wuxian is thankful enough so he doesn't have to randomly make excuses. 

Cold wind in the middle of the night, midnight to be precise, chills one to the bone. Yet they casually walk as if nothing happened. The confusion Wei Wuxian has been feeling is hidden as he follows Lan Wangji. The more he lets Lan Wangji do as he pleases, the more question marks appear in his head. 

And him holding hens while thinking so doesn't do justice. He looks plainly stupid. 

"Lan Zhan, is it not enough?" 

Wei Wuxian more or less understands the meaning behind Lan Wangji's action. From the start, giving in to please the drunk Lan Wangji is a form of entertainment in itself. He is not an uptight person like Lan Wangji, so watching him doing mischief is refreshing. Especially after things happened.

"Hey, Lan Zhan." 

What do you see me as? 

Wei Wuxian is still smiling and coaxes Lan Wangji, but his mind already stopped working as the question appears. 

What a mess

Wei Wuxian manages to drag Lan Wangji back to the Inn with much struggle. The appearance of Lan Wangji who is always neat and pristine, is nowhere to be found now after the play they just had. Feathers and dirt sticks to him, if Lan Qiren saw his nephew in such a state, Wei Wuxian is sure Lan Qiren will curse him to death. 

"Lan Zhan, you are so dirty!"

"Wash my face." 

"When did you learn to order me around?" Wei Wuxian sighs. "Washing your face isn't enough. How about I help you bathe instead?" 

Lan Wangji's eyes widened slightly. Wei Wuxian carefully studied his expression, and could see the excitement on that flat feature. "Do you want it?" 

Lan Wangji nods. "Yes." 

Since all the workers in the Inn are female, Wei Wuxian does the hard work himself to bring bath water. He doesn't even need to tell Lan Wangji to undress as the latter is already stripped on his own. Even though it is not the first time he saw Lan Wangji's bare skin, the situation before was much different than right now. If Wei Wuxian is being honest, the sight gives him a shock. A big one. He is torn between following his heart to look at the figure as much as he wants, or becoming a decent person and gives Lan Wangji something to cover up. The option gives him tinge, his body moves on its own to step backward. 

"Lan Zhan, you--" 

Lan Wangji steps forward, on purpose or not, forcing him to corner. There is no place for Wei Wuxian to hide. His only option is to brave himself and look at Lan Wangji, deep down feeling the shiver as their eyes met. Lan Wangji approaches with expressionless. If he tries to shift his gaze, he'll meet with the fair-colored and smooth skin. The aesthetic muscle flashed when he did strike him hard, it's impossible to look at them straight.

Even as shameless as he used to claim, the situation he is currently in forced him to drown in despair. 

What am I to you? 

"I'm only pouring the bathwater for you." Wei Wuxian grits his teeth, pretends like everything is fine. "You can do the rest now."

But Lan Wangji suddenly reached out and tore his sash into half. 

"Wha--" 

Wei Wuxian jumps out from the shock. Lan Wangji's face remains expressionless, yet his movement is extremely rough. Wei Wuxian doesn't question Lan Wangji's strength, but he never thought Lan Wangji would do such a thing. 

"Stop, stop! I won't bathe, I won't!" He clears his throat seeing Lan Wangji's frown, "You can bathe first. The tub is too small to fit two people. I, uhh… I like bigger tubs."

Waiting for Lan Wangji to heed somehow makes him cold sweat. Lan Wangji's indifferent glance, followed by silent agreement that the tub is too small, Wei Wuxian didn't notice he had been holding back his breath while waiting for Lan Wangji to sink down in the tub. Thinking he got released from Lan Wangji's antics, he turns around to give the latter some time to clean himself. He too needs some fresh air. Splash from behind makes him turn around, again, faced with Lan Wangji's porcelain skin. 

"Why did you come out again?!" 

"Not bathing anymore." 

What's with that cold face?? 

"Why not? It's so dirty if you don't bathe." The grumpiness is visible on Lan Wangji's face. Wei Wuxian hurriedly stopped Lan Wangji from putting on the clothes he just took off. "Do you want me to help you bathe?" 

No answer. Lan Wangji's eyes lowered. 

The gesture makes Wei Wuxian soft. It reminds him of the young master from his memory, never voicing out what he wanted yet persistently chasing it after. It's strange to think of the current Lan Wangji as cute as he was, but that's how Wei Wuxian feels. 

"Fine, I'll bath you. Come here." 

My loss, my loss. I'll just scrub him a couple of times. I won't do anything else at all

Or so he thought as he rolled his sleeves and hauled Lan Wangji back to the tub. 

He said it before, how Lan Wangji's skin was extremely fair. His black hair gleamed in the dark, drifting on the water surface. For a second, amidst the whirling steam, he seemed like an unearthly being immersed in one of Heaven's springs. It's a shame there are no flower petals near. Wei Wuxian thought of showering Lan Wangji with some, for the sake of his own amusement. The scenery would surely look better that way. 

His own thoughts make his heart stir. Strange sensation he keeps feeling whenever Lan Wangji is within the picture. The loneliness which somehow lingers even as he accepts his face and feels no remorse. He wonders why the force enough to shake him comes in the form of Lan Wangji. 

What am I thinking? 

Wei Wuxian pours the warm water down Lan Wangji's head. Albeit Lan Wangji made no single move, it worried him that the water might drip into his eyes, having Lan Wangji stare at him in silence. 

"Close your eyes." 

Lan Wangji stills. His eyes glued to Wei Wuxian, as though he's scared Wei Wuxian might run away if he blinks even once. Wei Wuxian reaches out to cover Lan Wangji's eyes. Lan Wangji buries the lower half of his face into the water, blows up bubbles.

"Er-Gege, how old are you?" Wei Wuxian chuckles and lightly pinches his cheek. He has a hard time wrapping his head, the venerable HanGuang-Jun is acting like a spoiled kid when he is drunk. Wei Wuxian has no intention to tell anybody about this side of Lan Wangji, but the thought of nobody will believe his words if he ever does so somehow makes him rather dejected. 

Wei Wuxian grabs the soap and cloth from the side, wipes from Lan Wangji's face and downwards. He suddenly paused. From his current position, the thirty-or-so discipline whip marks and the brand at his chest could be seen with clarity. 

Wei Wuxian moves to Lan Wangji's back. The whip Mars climbed from Lan Wangji's back all the way to his chest, shoulders, arms, sprawling across. The hideous scars marred his smooth, white skin, destroying what could be called the perfect male body. Even though Wei Wuxian says nothing, he moves extremely gentle, as if he doesn't want to hurt Lan Wangji further. Of course, he knows these old wounds no longer bring pain. He also knows with Lan Wangji's personality, fresh wounds will not make him flinch. No matter how painful, never once will he display such a sign of weakness. 

These scars remind him of the question that has been popping up in his mind. How did Lan Wangji got these scars, what did he do to make them do such a cruel deed, the QishanWen Sect's brand he never seen, and also--

HanGuang-Jun, just… What do you think of me? 

Lan Wangji's eyes met his when he turned his head around. 

"...hmm?"

Wei Wuxian didn't notice he just voiced out his thoughts by accident. The look on Lan Wangji makes him internally sweat, not sure what he did wrong. But what bothers him the most, is because he can feel a faint of something flashed in those eyes staring at him, a dangerous tinge he has no knowledge of. Or to be exact, something he pretends he never knows of. 

"You…" 

"What?" 

Lan Wangji squints his eyes. The look on his face makes Wei Wuxian think Lan Wangji just internally spit on him. 

"What is it?" 

"Why do you even ask?" 

"Ask what?" 

Five seconds in silence, Wei Wuxian's eyes gradually widened. The cloth in his grip slid down, and fell into the water with a faint splash.

"Ahaha, it's actually nothing." Wei Wuxian scratches the back of his head. "HanGuang-Jun, you have been acting up. If you suddenly get serious, I'm lost at what to do." 

Lan Wangji surfaces and grabs his wrist. The strong grip makes Wei Wuxian stagger, hand instinctively placed on Lan Wangji's chest as leverage. Beneath his palm, strong and fast thumps coming from Lan Wangji's irregular heartbeat. It stunned him in place. Cold sweat rolls down from his temple as he raises his head to meet Lan Wangji's deep gaze. 

"Why do you still need to ask?" 

Now Wei Wuxian's heart is thumping as loud.

"Ha, HanGuang-Jun--" 

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji exhales. "Can't you tell?" 

Wei Wuxian feels like cowering in the corner, but his body statued from Lan Wangji's eyes. "...tell what…?" 

"Wei Ying." The way Lan Wangji says his name makes him shiver. "Only you."

Only me… What? 

A thing, something which he thought only Lan Wangji was able to notice, he isn't sure anymore if what he thinks about Lan Wangji is the same as the way Lan Wangji sees him. 

"Lan Zhan--" 

"Only you." Lan Wangji's grips tightens. His voice turned low to a whisper. "Wei Ying, it's always you. I only see you." 

Wei Wuxian doesn't know what kind of force is enough to move him. Their bodies mingled in the water, caught in a deep and messy kiss. His mind is blurred by the lust he never thought he has in store. Too many things weren't exactly as portrayed in his mind. 

"Lan Zhan..."

Lan Zhan

But Wei Wuxian is surprisingly dense when it comes to Lan Wangji. He has long locked his heart because he is scared he would be broken-hearted as badly as he was alive, to the point of evading any kind of affection given. As if Lan Wangji's words aren't enough, as if the intimacy they shared isn't enough, as if his own heartbeat isn't enough. 

"Lan Zhan, say… Did you mean to say you are always watching me? Because you think I will make a fool of myself?" 

Lan Wangji doesn't answer. His patience is as deep as the bottom of the sea, or maybe more. He can wait until Wei Wuxian can fully understand the meaning of his words. 

Traces of alcohol already left Lan Wangji's body. Shameless he felt after he noticed how embarrassing their current situation is enough to push aside any other thought behind his back.

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