The last thing Jiang Cheng saw as his eyes fluttered shut, was Lan Xichen's horror filled eyes, screaming at him in despair. 

~LAN XICHEN'S POV~

Lan Xichen could only watch in terror as Jiang Cheng's body fell slack in Wei Ying's  arms. He rushed forward, reaching out and gently cradling his lover in a tender embrace. Jiang Cheng was a sickly pale, and Lan Xichen's heart twisted at the sight. He cursed himself for not getting there faster. Maybe if he had hurried, then Jiang Cheng wouldn't have had to take a sword through his gut. 

His eyes widened when he saw the wound on Jiang Cheng's stomach. There was so much blood. Too much. Lan Xichen ripped off a corner of his robes, frantically trying to stem the flow of blood. The makeshift bandage held, and a dark spot of red seeped through the fabric. 

Lan Xichen paled. His face was a deathly white, as he fumbled to take a jar of medicine from his sleeve. Shakily applying the salve to Jiang Cheng's wounds, he sighed in relief when he saw the blood slowly starting to clot. 

Jiang Cheng would be alright. He had to be. 

Beside him, Wei Ying also let out a breath that he had been holding. He turned to Lan Xichen grimly, "We need to get him out of here." 

Xichen nodded, "Can you take Wanyin to Lotus Pier? I'll stay here and fight." 

"What? No!" Wei Ying exclaimed, baffled by his request. "If he were to wake up without you..." Wei Ying trailed off, shivering at the thought. "No. If the first thing he saw waking up was my face, then I would no doubt wake up tomorrow with a black eye." 

"Young Master Wei," Lan Xichen replied firmly. "I am a Sect Leader. I cannot just abandon my Sect."

"So? Who the fuck cares! Jiang Cheng is more important!" 

"Young Master Wei I-" 

Wei Ying cut him off with a glare. His eyes were narrowed as he spoke- tone dripping with hostility. "Are you saying that my little sister isn't as important as your sect?" 

"No I just-" 

"Choose your words carefully here. I would hate for that to be your last words," Wei Ying threatened, a warning in his voice. 

"How dare you threaten our Sect Leader! You do realize that you're talking to the infamous Zewu Jun right?" Jingyi piped up in righteous indignation. 

He was immediately elbowed in the ribs by Si Zhui. "Ouch! What was that for?" he muttered, rubbing his side. 

"Shut up," Si Zhui gritted out, jaw clenched in irritation as he watched the exchange between his Sect Leader and the Yiling Patriarch. 

Jingyi stared at him in shock. "W-What?" he spluttered, speechless. Si Zhui was always so polite! For him to be this bold and rude... well it was just weird. Jingyi had never seen him like this before. He felt compelled to speak, but held his tongue. 

"Young Master Wei," Lan Xichen fixed a hard stare at Wei Ying, completely ignoring the juniors. "Of course Wanyin is more important. But as Sect Leader, I must set an example. What kind of leader would I be if I ran off the second I saw danger?" 

Wei Ying gritted his teeth. "Lan Xichen. My brother trusts you. So do I. There's no one else that I would ask here to do this. In a moment, when this array breaks, you're going to need to make a mad dash for it. I'll stay behind and cover you." 

"But-" 

"NO BUTS!" Wei Ying screeched, a look of irritation crossing his face. "I'm the Yiling Patriarch. That makes me the best candidate in dealing with corpses. Jiang Cheng's spiritual energy is too low, so he needs someone with good reflexes to take care of him." 

Lan Xichen hesitated. His heart yearned to just grab Jiang Cheng and go. He wanted- no he needed to make sure that Jiang Cheng was okay. He needed to see with his own two eyes his lover's face- needed to feel with his own two hands Jiang Cheng's pulse, beating steadily beneath his fingertips. 

Sensing the other's uncertainty, Wei Ying pounced immediately. "Hurry! Every second we waste, is another second closer to death Jiang Cheng is! Look at him! He's so fucking pale. You better make up your mind and leave now. Because I'm not going to give up, and you do not want to argue with me." Wei Ying fixed him with a leveled look. "If you think Jiang Cheng is stubborn, then you clearly don't know me well enough." 

Lan Xichen let out a sigh of defeat. "Alright," he murmured, propping Jiang Cheng up in his arms. He gently wrapped his arms around his knees, before lifting Jiang Cheng up and letting him rest his head on his chest. "My deepest apologies," he bowed to his uncle, "I have failed as Sect Leader." 

Lan Qiren shook his head. "Go. I will take care of things here." 

Lan Xichen hesitated, before giving a decisive nod and turning towards Wei Ying. "Very well. Please hurry then." 

Wei Ying smirked. "Famous last words." 

"Wei Ying..." Lan Zhan muttered, putting a hand on Wei Ying's shoulder. He shot Lan Xichen a worried look, to which the latter replied with a reassuring smile. 

"I'll be fine Wangji," Xichen said, answering the question in his brother's eyes. 

Lan Zhan gave a sharp nod, turning his head back to his beloved. "Wei Ying?" he asked in question when his lover started to strip of his robes. "What are you doing?" 

Wei Ying paid him no mind as he painted lines of blood across his inner robes. The blood created a stark contrast to the chalky white of his clothes. He grabbed Lan Zhan's hand. "Lan Zhan, I need your help."

"Mn?" 

"I wanna try something, will you help?" 

Lan Zhan's eyes sharpened when he realized what Wei Ying wanted to do. His brows furrowed, hesitating slightly. Wei Ying's grip tightened, and Lan Zhan saw the determination in his eyes. He sighed. There wasn't much he could do. "Alright." 

Wei Ying visibly brightened. "Wonderful! Let's go!" 

"Wen Ning," Wei Ying called to the fierce corpse. Wen Ning had been standing by the doorway, trying to ward off any unwanted visitors. 

"In a moment, when me and Lan Zhan leave, you need to clear the way for Zewu Jun. I don't care how you do it, but make sure nothing happens to Jiang Cheng." 

Wen Ning nodded, rushing outside. 

Wei Ying took a deep breath. "Well? It's now or never," he murmured as he dashed after Wen Ning. Immediately, the Spirit Attraction Flag that he had drawn on himself reacted. Hundreds of hungry eyes fixed onto him, as corpses staggered in his direction. 

Lan Xichen brought Jiang Cheng's limp form closer to him as he rushed outside with Wen Ning. "Hold on Wanyin... hold on," he whispered, chanting his beloved's name like a prayer. 

Jiang Cheng couldn't die. 

Lan Xichen wouldn't allow him to. 

--------

When he finally made it to the doorsteps of Lotus Pier, he was greeted by a flurry of worried disciples. 

"Zewu Jun? Zewu Jun, is that our Sect Leader?" one disciple gasped, face paling at the sight of Jiang Cheng. 

Xichen grimaced. "Please take me to your healers." 

"O-Of course Zewu Jun! Right this way," the disciple stammered, gesturing for Lan Xichen to follow. 

A short while later, Jiang Cheng was being swaddled with bandages as healers fussed around him. Lan Xichen peered anxiously from the doorway. "Is Wanyin alright?" he called, worried. His heart was still racing from the events of earlier today, and his mind raced with possibility. 'What is he wasn't okay? What if his beloved died? What if- oh no... Lan Xichen couldn't even think about that. He wouldn't even entertain the notion. Wanyin was strong. He would be fine. It was probably just a cut... nothing to worry about right?' Lan Xichen laughed nervously. He needed to hear the words- needed someone to put a hand on his shoulder, and reassure him that Jiang Cheng would be alright. Needed-

"Yes. His life is out of danger," a healer replied, interrupting Lan Xichen's train of thought. "He should be fine. It might take a week or two for him to fully recover, but if all goes well, he can be discharged later today. 

A brilliant smile spread across his face, as he let out a silent breath of relief. It was a breath that he himself, didn't even know he was holding. 

"Thank you," Lan Xichen replied solemnly, bowing at the healers. He was ecstatic, his heart finally stopping in it's frantic beating. 

"Of course, Zewu Jun." the healer nodded, ushering her fellow healers out the room. "We'll leave you to it. Just make sure you don't do any... strenuous activity." 

Xichen blushed when he realized the implications there. His face lit up a fiery red. "I wouldn't dream of it!" he protested, holding his hands up in surrender. "Wanyin is still injured!" 

The healer arched a brow, eyes dancing in amusement. "Hm," was all she said before she turned and shut the door behind her. 

The second everyone had left, Lan Xichen immediately rushed to his beloved's side, gently caressing the hair out of his face. Jiang Cheng's face was strained, his brows furrowing in pain. Beads of sweat trailed down his face, as his body worked to fight off the injury. 

Lan Xichen grabbed a washcloth, gently ringing it dry before pressing it to Jiang Cheng's balmy forehead. 

He frowned. "You're burning up love." 

No reply. Jiang Cheng's core was working overtime to drive off any wounds and infections.  

Xichen sighed, gently cupping Jiang Cheng's hands in his own. Alone in his room, Xichen fell silent. That was bad. Silence was when his thoughts ran loose, and his mind raced with possibility. He had tried so hard not to think about it, to forget about what Wei Wuxian said back in the cave. With everything that happened, he had nearly succeeded. 

But now that it was silent, Lan Xichen was left to his own devices. Inevitably, his thoughts drifted to the words Wei Wuxian had said earlier today. 'I mean truly, being able to kill an infant? Not only any infant! But Lian-Fang Zun's own child! I mean granted he was the one that ordered you to do so...'  Xichen flinched, Wei Wuxian's voice echoing in his ear. 'What did that mean? A-Yao killed his own son? But that's impossible. Xichen knew his sworn brother, and A-Yao would never do something like that. No, he wouldn't do that. He would never kill Nie Mingjue either. He just wouldn't-' Lan Xichen paused, doubt creeping up on him. 'Or would he? If he didn't do that, then why did Su She react so violently? If A-Yao didn't kill Da-Ge then why does he panic whenever I talk about him? But A-Yao is my brother he wouldn't...' 

"Xichen?" came a raspy voice, and Lan Xichen jolted out of his thoughts. 

"Wanyin?" he asked, joy clear in his voice. "You're awake!" 

Jiang Cheng grunted, trying to sit up. He winced when the movement jostled his wound. 

"Wanyin!" Lan Xichen fussed over him. "You need to rest! Stop trying to move around!" he scolded, bringing the cloth to his head. Jiang Cheng's fever had died down a bit, but Lan Xichen was still worried. 

Pushing away the cloth, his beloved forced himself to sit up. He grabbed Xichen's hand, holding it tightly against his chest. "Are you okay? After everything that happened?"

"You're asking me if I'm okay?" Lan Xichen teased, gently bringing a hand to Jiang Cheng's cheek. "You still have a fever." 

"Xichen." Jiang Cheng murmured, looking him dead in the eye. "We're not talking about me. I was talking about you. So I'll ask again, are you alright?" 

Lan Xichen paused, hesitating. Was he alright? No. No he wasn't. He was in a state of denial. He clung to the hope that this was all some elaborate joke. He prayed for the moment when Wei Wuxian would somehow appear before him and tell him that none of this was true- that he had just made it all up. 

It wasn't just that A-Yao was his sworn brother, but that Lan Xichen himself was at fault too. If Wei Wuxian's words were true, then that meant that Xichen had not only turned blind eye- but had even helped Jin Guangyao with his crimes. 

Does that not make him an accomplice? 

"No. You're not at fault here," Jiang Cheng's harsh voice rang. 

It was only then that Lan Xichen realized- he said the last sentence aloud. "I-" he sagged against his lover, unable to continue. The guilt was choking him. And for the first time, the First Jade of Lan was completely at loss for what to do. 

Jiang Cheng gripped his shoulders, grunting when a sharp pain flared up his abdomen. "Look at me. Jin Guangyao fooled everyone. You hear me? It's not your fault. You were being a good brother, it's not your fault that Jin Guangyao turned out to be a slimy asshole. Besides, I'd rather be wrong that doubt my own brother..." he said with a dark look on his face. 

"What happened with Young Master Wei was not your fault." 

Jiang Cheng shot him a wry grin. "Then what happened with Jin Guangyao isn't your burden to bear either." 

"I-" 

"Xichen. Listen to me. It's. Not. Your. Fucking. Fault." 

"But I-" 

"No buts! Don't make me repeat myself," Jiang Cheng exclaimed, a grumpy frown on his face. His eyebrows were pinched together, but there was a look of endearment in his eyes. 

Lan Xichen took a deep breath, and sagged against his lover, body going limp in his arms. Jiang Cheng immediately wrapped Xichen up in his warm embrace and gently stroked his hair with affection. "Shh, I got you. It's okay, you can cry. I won't judge. You always hold me when I break apart. Let me be here for you this time." 

At his words, the dam that had been building inside him broke, and loud sobs racked Xichen's frame. He curled up against his lover, the tears soaking through his robes. Hopelessness surged through him, bringing with it, a new flood of tears. "I don't know what to do. What do I do? What should I do?" Lan Xichen asked, crying out in desperation.

"You can't do anything. You just have to move on. Life happens. You aren't responsible for other people's mistakes." 

"But what if I knew earlier? Then maybe I could've stopped this. Maybe I could've helped him." 

"What could you have done? I know you Xichen, I know you would've talked to him first. Do you think Jin Guangyao would let you live if you did that? Do you think he would let you get away with his secret? No. No he wouldn't have." 

"But-"

"Xichen. You can only do your part. You can't walk someone else's path for them. What Jin Guangyao did was not your fault. His choices were his alone. His actions have consequences. And those consequences are his to bear."

"But I helped him, I helped him with the killings," Lan Xichen confessed, finally admitting what had been gnawing on his conscience for so long. 

"No you didn't. You helped your brother. What he chose to do with your help is his fault alone. You were tricked and schemed, just like the rest of us. You were being loyal- there's nothing to be ashamed of for that." 

"I-" Xichen sighed. "I suppose you're right." 

"I know I am love." 

Lan Xichen gave a soft snort, and pulled Jiang Cheng closer, drawing comfort from his embrace.

As the sun faded into the horizon, Lan Xichen felt a strange sense of closure. He wasn't quite sure yet how to cope with what had happened, but he was sure now that he would survive it. With Jiang Cheng's arms around him, he closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep. His lips curved up in a small smile, and the boulder that had been sitting on his chest finally lifted. 

Whatever else happened, it wasn't his fault.