✧･ﾟ: * seventeen *:･ﾟ✧

Madeline shouldn't be doing this. Encouraging this short-lived romance, if you can call it that. She shouldn't be constantly thinking about his voice, how gentle he speaks to her, how worried he always is that she isn't enjoying herself, how determined he stays to make this trip magical for her. She shouldn't be sitting here, in his lap, her hands locked around his neck, her lips moving with his soft ones.

She's doing this to herself. In a couple of days when they part and she's all alone again, she'll remind herself of that. She's responsible for her own heartbreak.

"Maddie," Tae whispers against her lips, sending a chill down her spine.

She pulls away only so he can speak, and so she can catch her breath. The two hadn't even been kissing that hard, it's simply the effect he has on her that makes her so breathless.

He runs his fingers through her hair, a quiet sigh escaping him. "I want to be with you. Always. Okay?"

He speaks so low, she barely hears him. At first she thinks he only means it literally, until she realizes the hesitance he had spoken with.

She closes her eyes, inhaling a breath. It's impossible, anyways. It always has been since the two met at the subway station. This could have never lasted, even if she knew it would happen. They're from completely different countries, for once, with their own lives to attend to in them.

"Taehyung..." It feels strange to say his full name, but she likes it. For some reason, it feels more intimate that way.

He sighs heavier this time, his fingers slipping from her hair as he leans back, away from her. "I know."

She slides down so she can place her head on his chest, his arms almost naturally wrapping around her. She hugs him back, feeling like a child too afraid to let go.

She forgets about sightseeing, about the infamous coliseum right in front of them. Her thoughts are completely swarmed of him. He must be feeling the same. The two stay quiet in this position for quite a while.

***

Madeline sits cross-legged on the hotel bed, her freshly washed hair dripping onto her shirt. Which just so happens to be Taehyung's shirt considering she had minimal pajama-worthy clothes and the two haven't visited a laundromat just yet. If she's being honest, she'd much rather wear his shirts anyways, though she does have on her own pants.

She tosses her phone back and forth between her hands, chewing her bottom lip. She wants to call her mom. She doesn't want to at the same time. The last phonecall hadn't exactly been pleasant, but it had been a few days ago. Her mom has only tried to call her once more before she gave up. Madeline would be lying if she said it didn't hurt a little, but she brought it on herself. She's been too harsh on her mom, maybe.

She lets out a breath and traces the memorized path to her mother's contact, hesitantly bringing the phone to her ear. She listens to it ring with a racing heart, her free hand twisting in the bedsheet.

"Maddie," her mother answers almost immediately, sounding as if she's disbelieving her daughter is calling.

"Hi, Mom," she replies softly, closing her eyes at the sound of her mother's voice.

It's quiet a moment before her mother says, "Are you doing okay?"

This baffles Madeline a little. She'd been expecting another scolding for not calling, for hanging up so rudely before, for leaving the house without telling her, for traveling across the world by herself.

"Y-yeah," she stammers out through her confusion. "Yeah. I'm doing okay. Are you...?"

"I'm so sorry, Madeline," her mother says as a reply instead, like she's on the verge of tears. "I know I'm the one who drove you away."

Madeline isn't sure what to say. It's true, after all. She's glad her mother continues so she can remain silent.

"I've been trying to be better, I promise," she says, sniffling now. "I-I haven't had a drink since our last call. I swear it. I miss you, baby girl. Please come home."

Madeline's eyes water. "I miss you, too." The words come much easier than she thought they would. She inhales sharply, blinking her tears away. "Actually, I... I have something to tell you."

"Maddie, please tell me what to do to make you come home. I'll do anything—"

"No, Mom." Madeline laughs quietly. "I'm coming home soon, okay? I just... I wanted to tell you that I'm having an operation tomorrow. You know. The one we talked about before?"

Even her mother's sniffles fall silent. It makes Madeline gulp, not realizing how nervous she was for her mother's reaction until now. Her mother hadn't been particularly keen to the idea of the operation before. She always thought it would make Madeline "worse," albeit Madeline isn't sure how much worse she could get. Maybe unfixable is what her mother meant. Nonetheless, she always claimed it was impossible, especially with the travel and financial issue.

But Madeline has done the traveling, and she has an actual angel sent down from the heavens to provide the money.

It's a reality now, not just a dream anymore.

"How... how are you going to pay for it?" her mother asks. Madeline can't quite depict the tone of her voice, which makes her more nervous.

Her cheeks flush, though, as she explains herself. "You know the guy I told you about before? Well—"

"The one you married?"

Madeline actually laughs then. Her mother had believed that? "I was upset and, I don't know, wanted to get under your skin. I didn't think you'd fall for it, though."

"Well, I did... Here I was thinking you had a husband these past few days."

Madeline giggles. "No, I promise. No marriage any time soon. But anyways, he's really kind. More than that. There's not even words in the dictionary to describe how generous and nice he is. When I got a call from the doctor telling me he had an available appointment, I told Taehyung not to worry about it, but he actually lied about where we were going just so he could bring me here for it."

"So you're in Rome?"

"Yeah. Crazy, huh?"

Her mother sighs. "I'm still disappointed, you know. I always wanted to do that traveling with you."

Madeline's smile falls from her face. Her mother knows exactly why Madeline decided to do this traveling alone.

"I understand," her mother finishes. "I understand why you left. I know it's my fault. I'll always be sorry about it. I just... I wish we could have experienced it together."

"We can another time," Madeline whispers. "I want to travel everywhere, you know."

"I know." Her mother speaks again after a short silence. "Maddie, are you sure this 'Taehyung' guy is safe?"

Madeline corrects her mother's pronunciation of his name, then replies, "I know for a fact he is. Honestly, Mom... I like him. A lot." Her cheeks burn as she admits it out loud.

Her mother clicks her tongue. "It's the spur of the moment, like you said before. No one can fall in love in two weeks, honey."

Madeline blinks. "I-I didn't say I loved him, Mom. But I know I like him. It's not a 'spur of the moment' thing."

"Okay, honey."

The belittling tone of her mother's voice ruins the entire mood.

"I gotta go," Madeline says. "See you soon."

"Oh, all right. I love—"

Madeline hangs up the phone. She should probably stop doing that.

She starts contemplating her mother's words.

It could be spur-of-the-moment-feelings, she supposes. But she doesn't feel that way. She feels like it's more than that, like it could be more than that.

Then again, they'll never have the chance to have anything more than what they have now. Like she said before, they live two separate lives in two separate countries. That are opposite the world of each other.

She considers again just what she got herself into.

***

Taehyung is grinning like an idiot, despite knowing better.

He had come in the room to tell Maddie that the room serviced dinner had arrived when he heard his name fall out of her mouth. Followed later with an "I like him" and "a lot." He knows what those words mean. Suddenly they're his favorite in the English language.

However, his grin starts to dissipate when he notices Maddie's expression shifting to that of sadness. He waits until she's off the phone before he makes his way over, purposefully letting his feet fall a bit heavier than usual so she knows he's coming. He doesn't want to startle her.

When she hears him, though, she wipes under her eyes and hangs her head like she doesn't want him to see her face. He frowns. He doesn't know what her mother said to her to make her so upset, but he can't help to be a little defensive at whatever it is. He doesn't even know Maddie's mother. Is the bad phone call his fault? He had been the one to suggest she tell her mother about the operation tomorrow.

She's already cried once today—he doesn't want to see her cry again.

Especially if he's to blame.

"Hey," she says after a moment, forcing a smile. "Is the food here?"

He fights with himself on whether or not he should call her out on what happened, but he decides to leave it alone. She'll tell him if she wants. "Yes," he murmurs. "Hungry?"

"Starving," she says with a breathy laugh, trying to brush off her previous bad mood. She stands, Taehyung's shirt falling just above her mid-thigh range. He's grateful she has pajama pants on.

His cheeks redden and he ushers the thought away quickly to lead Maddie into the kitchen.

The two eat dinner in a somewhat tense silence, Maddie's face staying angled down towards her plate with a slight frown on her lips. He tries to think of something to say without being blatantly nosy as to what happened. He doesn't want to invade her privacy or anything, but she's acting far off. Like she's here physically but a million miles away mentally.

The sudden desire to do anything to make her smile is overwhelming. Just to see it. To know it's still there and she'll be okay.

He opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it. "Taehyung... do you think it's a dumb idea?"

He blinks in confusion.

"The operation, I mean," she mumbles. "What if it doesn't work? I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, but I think I already have. I've been researching it and looking forward to it for years now, you know? I keep saying I'll be fine if it doesn't work but... I don't think I will."

He listens to her carefully, making sure to catch each word so he knows what she's saying. She needs him to be able to listen, to understand what's wrong. He wants to do that for her so badly.

She had started off speaking fast, though, so he isn't sure about a lot of what came out of her mouth, which frustrates him to no end. He did, however, comprehend that she doesn't think she'll be okay if the operation doesn't work.

He reaches across the table for her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. "You're strong, Maddie," he tells her. "You will be okay through anything. Everything."

"What if I'm not?" she whispers. "I'm not as tough as I act, Taehyung." She laughs a little at that, albeit she sounds disappointed.

"I..." He searches for the word, hoping he's right. "I believe... in you. Okay?"

She sighs, dragging her free hand through her hair, still clutching Taehyung's in the other. She smiles a little, seeming much more genuine than earlier. Then she laughs softly to herself, shaking her head. "Honestly, I have no idea what I would've done without you, you know. I'd probably be stranded on the streets of Paris," she says, chuckling.

He smiles, albeit he isn't sure what "stranded" means. He's sure it either means "abandoned" or "burned." The former makes more sense. He might be confusing "stranded" with "branded" since they sound the same. He gets a lot of words like that mixed up sometimes.

"If anything," she says, quieter now. "Even if the operation doesn't work, I can at least go home happy that I met you."

This makes his stomach feel strange and his chest feel tight. He stares at her, desperate to memorize every feature so he won't forget not even a blemish. She really is beautiful. He had always thought she were pretty, but now, looking at her like he is, she's taking the breath away from him. He can only presume knowing her, potentially falling for her, is making her all the more stunning.

He doesn't know how he's supposed to leave her behind. How he's supposed to act like this trip never happened. It's surreal, he knows it is, but this is far better than a dream could ever be.

"Taehyung," she murmurs, her thumb rubbing against his. "Do I... does this..." She purses her lips, a blush in her cheeks. "Does it mean anything to you?"

What is she on about? Hasn't he already assured her she's completely unforgettable? Forgetting her would be like forgetting how bright the stars shine at night. She's the only reason he hasn't gone insane mulling his father's death over and over. She's the only reason he's been able to sleep at night without dreams of what could've happened if he'd only been home before his father passed.

If nothing else, she's kept him at peace these past couple of weeks. He's been utterly at ease and happy, and that's exactly how his father told him to live.

He leans over the table to kiss her forehead, and with absolute honesty whispers, "This means everything to me."