(a filler chapter just to help the pacing of the story. enjoy xx)

✧･ﾟ: * fifteen *:･ﾟ✧

Maddie doesn't speak after that, and Taehyung can't decide if it's better or worse than her yelling at him. He wishes she would at least explain why she's so upset over it. He knows she told him to forget about it, which is why he didn't tell her the truth in the first place, but he just doesn't comprehend why it's so aggravating to her.

He's doing it for her. Shouldn't that make her happy?

When she touched his face last night, he knew it was out of her desperation to know what he looks like. She doesn't have to admit that she misses her sight—it's clear as day that she does. That's why he wants to help her. She's been helping him this entire trip, making it more fun and relaxing than he could have done on his own. She's kept him distracted and happy.

All he wants is for her to be happy too.

The three people in front of them are trying to awkwardly keep their eyes averted, trying to make small talk amongst themselves but they can feel the tension nonetheless. Taehyung tries to think of something to say. He doesn't want to apologize for taking her when he isn't really sorry for it. He's sorry for lying about it, maybe, but not sorry for wanting to help her. Is that, in a strange, twisted way... selfish?

When the silence has suffocated them long enough, and the three strangers have managed to find their own conversation, he feels Maddie lean over to him. "Why did you lie to me?" she asks quietly. He can't tell if she's angry or not with that tone. It makes him nervous.

He tries to find the correct response, searching through his vocabulary. "You don't want to go," he murmurs back, pauses between certain words despite his attempts to be completely fluent. "I want to take you."

Maddie sighs. "Tae, you're wasting your trip. Did you forget that? This is your trip."

"But you... would... be happy too."

"It's not about me," she says firmly, seeming upset again. "Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I need special treatment. We should get off on the next stop and go to where you want to go."

He doesn't understand all of what she said, but he does grasp the "we should get off" part. "No," he argues, finding a bit of courage. "I want to take you."

"Tae..." She sighs again, more deeply, then leans back in the seat, face angled towards the ceiling. He still doesn't understand why it's a big deal for her. She wanted to go to Rome initially, so why is it bad that he's finally taking her there?

"I'm sorry," he says. "For lying."

She runs her hands down her thighs. "It's fine."

"You're not fine."

"No, I guess I'm not."

"Why?"

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "I can't explain it to you even if I wanted," she whispers, speaking slow so he can catch it.

Then he feels guilty. Again. For not speaking English. She can't open up to him because he would have no idea what she's saying. Sure, he's learned a lot the past week, but he's nowhere near fluency. Even now when Maddie speaks too quickly, he barely catches a word she says. He should be better at learning, especially with how hard he worked.

"I'm sorry," he repeats, more defeat to his tone.

"No, Tae. God, no. It's not your fault," she says, turning to face him. "Now I feel like a bitch."

"A bitch?" (obviously i had to add this video)

https://youtu.be/D4NhrnCu9RM

Maddie laughs then for some reason, covering her mouth with her hand. "Yeah," she chuckles. "A bitch. But don't say it so loudly."

"What is a bitch?" he whispers, nearly inaudible since she told him not to speak loudly.

Maddie is giggling again, confusing him entirely. "A bad person," she explains. "A mean person."

He gasps. "Maddie, you are not a bitch!"

"Tae!" Her hand suddenly finds its way to his mouth, making him close it. "I told you not to say it loudly!"

His eyes dart over to the three people in front of them, each of whom are now laughing to themselves.

Maddie removes her hand, smirking. "We'll have to go over bad words someday. Ones that shouldn't be shouted on a public train."

Taehyung nods slowly, despite her not seeing, still trying to comprehend what's so wrong about it. A bad word, Maddie said. He supposes it's similar to the bad words they have in Korea, then he feels dirty for saying it.

"I take it English isn't your first language," one of the men says, smiling.

Taehyung purses his lips, shaking his head. "I'm learning," he says, almost defensively, more than slightly embarrassed.

There's friendly conversation amongst the table before the girl excuses herself to the bathroom, the two men heading to the bar a few carts down. It's soon just Maddie and Taehyung sitting at the table, Taehyung still giving her wary glances in case she's still angry.

"I'm sorry," he whispers again, simply out of nervousness that she's hiding her discontent.

She sighs. "It's okay, Tae. I just... I feel bad because this is your trip, and I don't want to ruin it."

"Ruin?"

"I don't want to make your trip terrible."

"Oh, no, no. You made my trip very good, Maddie."

She purses her lips, then lets her head fall onto Taehyung's shoulder. He smiles to himself, finally able to relax in his seat.

"You really, really, really don't have to do this, you know."

"I know, Maddie."

"Like really, Tae. I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back, and you've already done too much for me."

"Money is no problem," he says, waving a hand dismissively though she can't see it.

"It is for me," she argues. "I can't just act like you haven't spent a fortune on me."

"...Eh?"

"You spent a lot of money on me, Tae."

"It's okay. I want to."

She sighs, like she's given up with the debate.

"When is, uh...?" He licks his lips as he thinks. "A... ponet?"

"A what?"

"The doctor. Your, uh... the time?"

She's quiet for a moment as she thinks, then exclaims, "Oh! Appointment?"

"Ah, yes, yes. Appointment," he repeats slowly, locking it to memory.

"He has an opening tomorrow morning," she says quietly. "He was able to get someone else in early today, that's why."

He doesn't know what she said that last part, but he grasps "tomorrow morning."

"I won't lie to you, uh, again, okay?" he tells her honestly.

She smiles a little. "Okay. I won't lie to you either." Then she asks, "Hey, how long is your trip, anyways?"

"How long?"

"Yeah, like when is it over?"

Taehyung falls silent then. He doesn't want to tell her, but he just said he wouldn't lie. Dreadfully, he murmurs, "Three days," hoping she doesn't hear.

She does.

"Oh," is all she replies with, a barely audible sound leaving her lips. There's a sullen mood over them now, the realization that their short escapade will soon end. "Well," she says after a while. "I guess we better make the most of it, huh?"

"There is much in Rome," he assures. "We will have fun, okay?"

"Yeah," she says softly. "We will."

***

Madeline is feeling entirely conflicted. About the operation, about the trip ending, about going back home to her drunken mother, and about... about Tae. Her first kiss was with a guy she barely knows and will probably never see again. At least it'll be a good story to tell her grandkids one day, right? Assuming she ever has kids to have, well, kids...

She hasn't thought about leaving much. Has avoided it, honestly. She knew she was going to miss Tae, but now... Now she realizes she's really going to miss him.

Like.

Really.

It's ridiculous.

She tells herself not to care much. She's only known him a little over a week. It's not like she had her first kiss with the guy—oh wait. Yeah. Why did she do that?

Despite her internal arguments to not care, she finds herself leaning in closer to him, her head on his shoulder. She hesitates only a moment, then finds his hand on the arm of the chair. She intertwines their fingers, her heart fluttering when he squeezes back.

God, this is pathetic.

She doesn't feel bad enough about it to stop, though.

Oops.

She hears someone slide back into the seat in front of them, most likely the girl since she left for the bathroom and she hears only one chair creak.

As thoughts race around and around in her head, one keeps resurfacing: the operation. It's actually going to happen. It's not some dream of hers that she was endlessly chasing. It's becoming a reality. What if it fails? What if she can't be helped after all?

But most importantly... What if it works?

What if she can see again?

Her stomach knots at the thought. She doesn't remember a lot of details from her preteens and early teens about the world around her. Sometimes she thinks she forgets the actual shades of certain colors. How bright will the world be when her eyes open?

Will Tae's face be the first she sees?

She closes her eyes, trying to picture it the way it felt. Soft, adorable cheeks yet a strong jawline, plump lips...

She isn't prepared at all to see him.

She's not scared of what he looks like. At this point, she doesn't give a damn at all. She doesn't think she'll be shocked regardless of what she sees, moreso relieved that she finally sees him. It's nerve-wracking, though. She can't exactly explain why.

For now, she tries to shut her thoughts off. Albeit it's practically impossible to do so, she manages to fall asleep with Tae's warmth and the gentle rocking of the train.