"So— tell me again why we're coming back out here?"

Jisung's exasperated voice was the only sound in the silent car aside from the calm breathing of Minho, asleep on his shoulder.

"Weren't you listening earlier? I think Felix ran away because of his parents. I wanna go back to the beach house just to make sure he hasn't been back since we last checked," Chan shot back from where he sat in the driver's seat, keeping his eyes on the road.

Jisung just slumped back in his seat. He hated this long drive to the coast. As much as he cared about finding Felix, this all seemed like a lost cause to him.

The boy merely leaned his head against the window, and looked out at the dark sky. It was late, and the cloudy coverage of rain clouds served to even further block out any last remnant of sunlight.

Jisung kept himself entertained watching raindrops race each other across the glass for ages, amused with the weather picking up its intensity.

"Weird that it's always so stormy over here," Jisung commented, tracing the trails of water streaks outside with his index finger.
"Wasn't it like this last time?"

"Closer to the sea, I guess," Chan answered, making sure to turn the windshield wipers to the right setting.

The rise of chatter in the car gave way to Minho slowly waking up, and glancing around in a sleepy daze at his surroundings.

"...Are we still driving?"

"Right?" Jisung agreed with the elder, to which Chan scolded them both immediately.

"I can't go as fast in this weather, it's too risky. Do you guys want to lose traction and die?"

"Honestly—?"

"Don't answer that," Chan cut Jisung off at once.

"Why don't we just stop somewhere and keep going tomorrow? I told my parents I was sleeping over at Jisung's place anyway," Minho suggested, shooting said boy a little smile as he spoke.

"Right. And I told mine that I'm staying at your place," Jisung reached forward to tap the driver on the shoulder as he spoke.

Chan couldn't help but sigh at the two in the backseat. "Stay where? Do you see any hotels around here?"

"Please? You can't think of anything?" Jisung squeezed his shoulder.

The eldest was silent for what felt like an eternity. Mulling over his options was more of a painstaking task that anticipated.

"Fine," Chan relented. "I used to tutor this kid who lives out here, but I've only been to his house like once because it's so far. One of you will have to text and ask if we can drop by."

Jisung's hands were already on the boy's phone. "Okay. Phone password?" he asked, grinning.

"Zero nine one five," Chan called back, and Jisung entered the digits in a flash.

"Right. Who do I text?"

"Kid's name is Jeongin," Chan answered, hearing the sounds of speedy typing in the back. "Last name Yang."

"Got it! What do I say?"

"Whatever. Explain the weather and ask if we can stay for a night."

Quiet ensued as the boy in the backseat drafted out a message, Minho whispering quiet suggestions for edits from the side.

"If he says yes, I expect you guys to be really, really nice guests," Chan stated quite firmly. "Don't make him regret it."

The two in the backseat totally ignored him, and Chan felt every urge to bang his head against the steering wheel after hours of tolerating their nonsense.

If Felix were present, he would've listened to him at least. Sadly Felix not being here was kind of the whole reason he was, for lack of a better term, even... here.

Felix, as of the current moment, laid on the bed in his room, laptop in front of him on his lap, with some old movie ready to play.

They'd ran into Junhui on the way over to their room, and the boy had promptly invited them over to some strange Monopoly thing he and his partner were hosting. While they respectfully declined, citing a "movie night" as the reason, Junhui excitedly pawned his laptop off on the two and told them they could use his Netflix account.

It was nice of him, at least, even if it had been a lie. So Hyunjin and Felix figured they might as well make it true. Watching something would at least make it believable.

Hyunjin had popped out of the room a few minutes prior to grab snacks and drinks—after all, Felix had demanded that originally if he was to be interrogated—and left free reign over the movie choice with the blonde.

Felix chose an old classic romcom. He was like that.

The door softly clicked open after a while, and the blonde turned to see Hyunjin stepping back into the room with a few bags of snacks in one arm, and a cup of coffee in the other.

"Baby," Hyunjin called out as he struggled to set all the items down on the bedside table. "Try the coffee and tell me if it's fine. I tried to make it the way you usually do, but..."

The cup was already in Felix's hands.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said, taking a sip. He totally wasn't using it to hide the dumb grin that grew on his face at the pet name. He was still getting used to that one.

Once he'd finished dumping the last of the snacks onto the side table, Hyunjin haphazardly climbed onto the bed, kicking his shoes off to the side. "Did you choose something?" he asked, and peeked at the laptop screen over the blonde's shoulder.

Felix hummed in the affirmative, and shortly got the film playing, making a few edits to turn on subtitles and all that.

It would be a lie to say that he hadn't gotten quite used to Hyunjin's presence by now. He didn't feel fully comfortable until he felt the elder's head resting against his shoulder, and an arm coming to gently lay across his waist.

Like this, Felix was safe. He felt like he could say anything without repercussions.

"So are you going to interrogate me, or what?" Felix asked, smile still on his face.

"Hmm," was all Hyunjin replied. "Now that we're here, I can't think of any questions."

"Just sit and think for a while, then," Felix laughed lightly. "We have all night."

A few minutes came and went, the movie serving as a distraction with its basic plot. It was the type of cliche film that one could get invested in if not too careful.

"I guess," Hyunjin mused eventually, "I was curious about one thing."

"Shoot," Felix said.

"You said in the car earlier that some stuff I say worries you. What was that about?"

Felix had to think back for a moment. "Ah, yeah. It's not a big deal, it's just..."

"You said you'd be honest."

"Right, sorry," Felix clicked the laptop's spacebar to pause the movie, realizing its sound was kind of annoying when trying to talk.
"You always... make jokes about dying? Like, if I die, you can have this. Or like, this is how I want to be killed."

Hyunjin turned to look at the younger, eyebrow raised. "Dark humor?"

"I know what it is, it's just that..." Felix mumbled the words as if embarrassed. "You say it so much, and I'm already anxious all the time about this whole situation, and—"

"Hey, I can stop?" the elder spoke seriously. "If it makes you uncomfortable, just say so."

"It's not that, I just..." the blonde took a deep breath. "I don't like the idea of... losing you. It feels too possible these days."

Despite the mood, Hyunjin seemed to find himself biting back a smile at this answer.
"Trust me, I'm much safer out here than at home," he leaned forward to gently nuzzle the younger's cheek. "Although..."

The elder trailed off, debating whether or not to speak his mind.

"What?" Felix inquired.

"I've been thinking," Hyunjin rested his head against the pillow, facing the other. "Maybe it's time for us to get out of here?"

Felix furrowed his eyebrows. "We haven't been here that long, though?"

"No, Lix, I mean here. The country."

Oh. The blonde just blinked for a moment, that prospect giving him wild ideas.

"I hear Australia's nice," the elder suggested quietly, receiving a shocked look from Felix.
"That'd be a great option."

"Australia?!" he questioned. "I mean, I love it there, but— you don't even speak English? And, the flight? How can we get on a plane?"

"I have connections," Hyunjin reassured him. "I could get a plane. And I could learn English. You'd help me, right?"

There was that damn smile. Felix could never say no to it. He found himself nodding on autopilot.

"Doesn't that sound great?" the elder cooed. "We'd never have to worry about running away all the time. I could definitely get us an apartment."

"You make it sound so easy," Felix let his fingers bury themselves in the elder's dark hair.

"It's optimism," Hyunjin let his cheek rest against the blonde's collar. "You already know how nervous I am."

"Yeah," Felix ran his hands rhythmically through the other's hair. "That makes two of us."

He reached over to set the coffee cup he'd been nursing down on the side table.

"Hey," Hyunjin said this softly, like he was afraid to broach the subject. "I know you didn't wanna talk about it, but..."

"Oh, god," Felix spoke under his breath, and made the elder smile at his tone.

"You've never told me why you left home," Hyunjin brought it up carefully, watching Felix's reaction with a hand lightly upon his shoulder.

The blonde let his body weight lean back into the pillows as he thought about it. To be honest, the main reasons he'd never explained were embarrassment, and a conscious willingness to simply not think about it too much.

Like he could make it all disappear.

"My..." Felix trailed off as he gathered his words. "My mom."

And Hyunjin seemed to read his body language as easily as ever. He let his hands draw lazy circles across the younger's abdomen, over the blanket.

"Out of nowhere, she got really sick," Felix let out a breath, the silence prompting him to continue talking. "A few months before I left."

"The doctor said she was dying, basically," he finally put the words out there.

Hyunjin's little pattern traces stopped.

"What was—"

"A few things. Mainly, they said her lungs were failing, and she'd either need surgery, or a full transplant if we waited and it got too bad," Felix cut off the question with its answer. "And if we didn't do anything, she'd be dead in a few years."

The elder didn't seem to know what to say to this just yet. Felix understood.

He'd barely known himself how to react.

That day was still crystal clear in his memory. He and his father, worried out of their minds after the mother had passed out on the kitchen floor, had to bring her to the hospital in a rush.

He remembered the grim faces of the nurses, explaining in as gentle terms as possible how bad the situation was to this poor woman's husband and child.

Perhaps most vividly of all, Felix remembered keeping a calm face the whole time, not wanting to burden his mom with any extra stress.

That façade shattered the very moment he'd found himself in his bedroom, alone, the whole family having returned home that night. Past midnight, he sobbed into his piles of pillows, putting every ounce of his strength into keeping it quiet despite how he clenched his blankets so hard his knuckles turned white.

Because they couldn't afford any of it.

For the first time in his life, Felix was forced to think about a future without her. He imagined her not being there for his graduation. Never being able to introduce his future partners to his mom. Never having another baking day together, or movie night with cuddles and popcorn, or her stupid puns that weren't even funny, but he laughed at them just because of that expectant look on her face.

His mom had bought him every damn stuffed animal on that bed, and he thought about not even being able to look at them once she was gone.

"We all knew we couldn't pay for it," Felix found his voice, and felt the elder's tense body relax up against his own as he continued to speak. "We weren't even doing badly, or anything, but the treatment was so damn expensive..."

"So, you left because...?" Hyunjin gently prompted him.

"I did some research. Realized how much money it takes to keep a kid alive every year." Felix was amazed he was even saying this as openly as he was right now. "Did some math and figured out that with me out of the picture, you know..."

He met Hyunjin's gaze, expecting him to fill in the rest of the blanks.

"...They'd have enough money?" the elder answered like he didn't want to be right.

Felix just nodded.

"Fuck," Hyunjin breathed out at once. "Felix, that's so..."

"Stupid, I know," the blonde cut in.

"No, I was gonna say, it's so," Hyunjin corrected, "You?"

Felix stared at him for that comment.

"That's how you've always been," the elder elaborated. "You're constantly sacrificing yourself for other people. For me."

"That's not true," Felix started, but he was instantly hushed by the elder.

"Tell me how we met again?"

Felix had given up his last smidge of money to save this random stranger.

"And who's the one who let me drag him all over the place without complaining whenever I got found?" the elder added.

Felix hesitated for a moment. "Me...?"

"Who's the one that left behind all his personal belongings behind because I wanted to escape faster?"

"Me..."

"Now, which one of us had to start shoplifting even though he didn't want to?"

"It's not that bad," Felix put the idea down. "I've gotten better at it."

"You are excellent at avoiding the point," Hyunjin stated. "I ran away for my own survival. Do you even understand how much kindness it takes to run away for someone else's?"

"It was the obvious choice—?"

"It wasn't," the elder emphasized. "You just think it was because you're so damn giving."

"If you think it was a dumb idea, just say so," the blonde crossed his arms. "I might even agree with you."

"It wasn't," Hyunjin reassured him quickly. "I'm just trying to say..."

Felix spared him a glance, waiting for his next words.

"God, if I knew how much this must've been weighing on you," Hyunjin pushed his hair back from his face. "I'm never making you do anything for me again. Are you, like, okay? It's a stupid question, but—"

"I'm fine," Felix could almost laugh. "I don't really think too much about it."

Hyunjin buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe I interrogated you about it that one time. Shit! Am I stupid?"

"You didn't know. It's alright."

"Felix," the elder spoke his name in such a way to draw his attention immediately. "You'll never have to worry about that again, okay?" he sat upright. "If we leave, I..."

"Huh?" was all Felix said, not getting what the other was going on about just yet.

"I'll take care of you," Hyunjin turned and let his hands rest upon the blonde's shoulders. "I really will. I promise."

"You'll..." Felix felt his face grow hot. "Oh, I mean, you don't have to, it's not that—"

"You wanted a cat, right?" Hyunjin let his thumbs stroke the curve of the younger's neck. "I'll get you one."

The way the elder was looking at him right now almost brought a certain three words to mind, a little temptation to say them out loud.

"I think your dog is fine," Felix spoke with a smile instead, almost distracting himself.

Hyunjin just grinned at this, and brought both hands up to hold Felix's cheeks.

"Would you be willing to read something for me?" he inquired.

Felix furrowed his eyebrows. He could barely get a "what?" out before the elder leaned in and gave him a kiss, placating him long enough to reach over to his bedside drawer and pull out a coverless novel.

"If you ever read one of my books, make it this one," he pressed the small object into Felix's hands.
"Just don't read it while I'm around."

The blonde narrowed his eyes.
"Suspicious," he glanced between the elder's sheepish grin and the book he held. "What if I read it right now?"

"Nooo," Hyunjin snatched the book back with a whine. "At least wait 'til I'm asleep if you have to. Shit's embarrassing."

Felix simply hummed at this, accepting defeat for now. Not to mention, he was beginning to get sort of uncomfortable with the laptop still in his lap. He shut the device and set it beside him so he could roll over on one side to face the elder boy.

"Good movie night," Hyunjin whispered sarcastically, and Felix gently hit him on the shoulder.

"You try watching something while being interrogated."

"I thought the whole point was choosing a movie boring enough to ignore?"

Felix sent him a glare for that comment.

"Fine," Hyunjin relented. "If we're actually watching something, let me get some more comfortable clothes on."

The boy slipped out of bed and wandered off to dig through his clothes, Felix observing him with a dull amusement. He bit back the urge to make a joke about how the elder should keep wearing his denim jeans under the blankets.

"You put subtitles on, right?" Hyunjin made idle chatter as he pulled off the warm sweatshirt he wore and set it on the chair nearby.

"No," Felix felt the strange urge to avert his eyes when the elder started to pull a loose t-shirt over his bare torso. "I was actually gonna force you to rely on the English dialogue."

"Rude as hell," Hyunjin said with a smile. "Is this revenge for the shoplifting?"

"I've told you a million times, it's not that b..." Felix's words left him as he saw the elder unbutton the waist of his jeans.
"That bad," he corrected himself, turning to look in the other direction immediately. "And um, wow, yeah, make yourself at home I guess."

"We do live here, Felix," Hyunjin reminded playfully.

"I mean, yes, but," he felt that familiar, flustered heat rising to his cheeks. "I'm just not used to— that."

"Then don't look?" the elder's voice was tinged with amusement.

"I'm not looking!" Felix insisted, feeling weirdly defensive all of a sudden. "And I'm not the one who always changes with people around."

"I don't do that either!" Hyunjin shot back, accompanied by the sounds of shifting fabric as he pulled a pair of sweatpants on. "I've told you this before. I only do it around you."

Felix remained dead silent for a moment.

"And you can stop staring at the wall now," Hyunjin snapped his fingers to call the younger's attention. "I'm done."

The blonde looked back over with trepidation. "To what do I owe that honor?"

"Don't know," the elder adjusted the strings of his sweatpants. "Thought I'd grant you the privilege of seeing it if you wanted."

"Thank you?" Felix let a mystified smile work its way onto his face.

"You're incredibly welcome," Hyunjin padded back over towards the younger and crawled onto the bed.

Felix instinctively tossed half of the blanket over the elder, letting him snuggle his body up against him.

"Besides," Hyunjin leaned over to whisper near the younger's ear. "I'd let you see anything if you asked."

Felix almost visibly flinched at this.
"UM???" was all he was capable of saying, and felt uncomfortably warm despite the laughter that shook through Hyunjin's body afterwards.

"Too much?" Hyunjin kept eye contact as he laid back against the headboard, grinning.

Two could play at that game. "Too little," Felix responded, and slipped his hand onto the elder's thigh.

Hyunjin sent him a look. "If you don't stop, this damn movie isn't gonna be watched."

"And here I thought you didn't want to see it," Felix teased as the elder reached over to take the laptop and fidget with its touchpad.

"It's just so Jun won't be suspicious when he finds out we didn't even use the account," Hyunjin clicked play on the film, and waited a moment for it to load up.

The first sounds of the intro played, and the boy set the device aside immediately to get up and kneel over the blonde next to him.

"Ah," Felix said, as if having a brief moment of understanding before the elder buried his face in the crook of his neck, leaving lingering kisses where he went. 

And he couldn't help but let his breath hitch when Hyunjin moved down to leave a peck against his collarbone. 

Knowing completely what he was doing, Hyunjin couldn't help but glance up, and make eye contact with the younger just to deliver a little taunt.

"Good luck watching the movie," he spoke playfully.

And a warm hand slipped under the hem of Felix's shirt.