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WALKING IN THE WIND
iii. TEA BEFORE THE GUILLOTINE

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  HOPE IS A CHOICE. To actively have hope and faith isn't something you wake up doing. It's a conscious choice, one that wields more power in our lives than we think. Though metaphorical, hope is a mighty shield that protects us when we least expect it. When she was a girl, Hope's father often advised her that as long as she had hope, nothing could break her.

  Sometimes, Hope liked to take that piece of advice rather literally.

  See, Hope often felt alone in life. Her parents weren't always around, and from the moment she was born, she was a handmaid to the royal family. On top of that, for the last few years, she only ever spent time with Odette. She loved the princess, but her whole life revolved around Odette and her schedule; what she wore, where she went, who she spoke to. Hope didn't have a life because she was so busy living Odette's.

  When Hope was offered to become Princess Odette's lady-in-waiting, she remembered some of the servants in the castle advising her against it. She'd been so thrilled about the opportunity that she ignored them and happily accepted the job. It wasn't until weeks later when she realized she had signed her life away. Suddenly, Hope was too busy to spend time with her friends or even her father. Whenever she had downtime, her friends were busily fulfilling their responsibilities as servants. Like a flower that blooms in the coldest winter, she was alone.

  Life became lonelier, but she learned to accept her situation over time. It was times like these where she took her father's advice more literally. As long as Hope had "hope," she would be okay. Do you get it now?

  Because of this, Hope tended to overwork herself. She prayed to Aslan under her breath because she didn't have the energy to do so before she slept. She spent her brief moments away from the princess aiding castle servants instead of relaxing because it was the only way she could see her friends. Sure, she was constantly exhausted, but she didn't regret it. Well, not yet, at least.

  Despite how hard life could be, Hope never resented Odette or the royal family. She thought she would at some point, but Hope loved her job. Though, sometimes Hope pondered what it was like living freely without having to tend to someone every day. Was that silly to dream of? She wasn't sure. That was why she kept it to herself.

  Hope tried her best to be a benevolent and optimistic person. That didn't mean she was never sarcastic or upset and never teased her friends. It meant she tried to be authentic while being the best version of herself at the same time. Of course, she gave herself limitations because, at the end of the day, she was just a servant girl. But she was okay with where destiny had taken her. She was grateful for everything life gave her and tried to focus on that instead of focusing on what life took from her.

  It took Hope years to achieve a perfect balance in her life and to reach a feeling of peace with her life. Of course, then Odette just had to get herself engaged. Now, not only was Hope Odette's shadow, but she would soon be King Edmund's, too.

  Perhaps that was another reason Hope wasn't a fan of the arranged marriage... another reason she would keep to herself because it wasn't her place to speak out on it.

  Sometimes, Hope yearned for someone to talk to about these feelings of hers. She grew more and more desperate to not feel alone, especially in the past few years. Maybe that was why she was so faithful to Aslan. He was her greatest support system.

  "Are you sure the orchestra should perform afterward? Because I was thinking..."

  Two days had passed since Hope met the Just King, meaning two days had passed since she last spoke to him. The life of a servant was a busy one, and the life of a royal was even busier.

  She had yet to decide how she felt about Edmund. He was polite, charming in his own way, and blunt; however, he was unusual, too. He was unlike any other royal she'd ever heard of. She wondered why he agreed to an arranged marriage. He didn't seem like someone who would be interested in that sort of thing, after all. Surely, he knew Wysteria had other allies they could reach out to (albeit none of them were as powerful as Narnia), so why didn't he say no?

  Odette was simpler than him: she wanted to be queen one day, which wouldn't occur if Wysteria crumbled. With Narnia's assistance, Wysteria would be saved and Odette could reign over her kingdom.

  "Hope?"

  But what about Edmund? Was it because he cared about Wysteria? Was he interested in the power, glory, and fame he'd receive for taking responsibility for two different countries? Did he desire to marry and have children who would carry on his legacy? That would explain not caring about who he married, Hope supposed.

  These thoughts pestered Hope for days, especially today. All she'd done since this morning was listen to Odette discuss her plans for her 18th birthday celebration next month. It wasn't normal for princesses to be so involved in this kind of thing, but Odette was very meticulous and it gave her something to do. Besides, they would be in Narnia on her birthday, so it made sense they would finalize the details for the ball that would be thrown in her honor in advance.

  Hope was excited for Odette, but the planning process was debilitating. It was times like these where she was glad the most she got for her birthday was a little pat on the back and a cupcake.

  "Hope!"

  Hope jumped. "Huh? I'm listening, I promise."

  Odette's concerned face melted as she grinned. "I wasn't accusing you of anything," she teased. "I wanted to ask you about cake flavors, but someone's a little busy falling asleep."

  Hope sighed. "I'm sorry. Sitting in the same place and doing the same thing all day is rather draining."

  "Agreed. But there's still so much to be discussed and—" Odette faltered when dread flashed in Hope's eyes. That was when an idea came to her. "Could you do me a favor? Would you mind brewing some tea? You know I can't drink tea made by anyone else."

  Both of them knew that this was Odette's way of busying Hope, which the latter was grateful for.

  With a smile, Hope rose to her feet. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

  "Mhm, go on," Odette dismissed with a laugh. "And don't run this time, please."

  Hope waved a hand at her joke, practically skipping out of the room where Odette and her many advisors were gathered. As she left, she wondered if any of the chefs were still awake. She wasn't sure of the exact time. Judging the moonlight seeping through the great windows and her undeniable weariness, she could tell it was late.

  Hope had been so caught up in her excitement of having something to do that she nearly executed the same mistake she'd made two days ago. A loud gasp escaped her as she took a sharp turn around a corner and nearly walked into someone. And who was that person?

  Of course, it was King Edmund.

  "Oh my—! Your Majesty!" she shouted. Her hand rested over her racing heart. Her eyes fell shut for a second as she attempted to gather herself. "I think I just died."

  Edmund's face was colored with astonishment momentarily before that smile of his invaded his face. "Are you always this jumpy?" he greeted.

  She scoffed. "I'm not jumpy! You... You just need to start wearing a bell or something, Your Majesty."

  "Didn't I tell you to call me Edmund?"

  "And didn't I tell you not to give me a heart attack?"

  "On the contrary, you didn't."

  She paused. "Well, it should go without saying."

  Despite her words, they shared a laugh. Hope would've shamed herself for her lack of manners, but he really had frightened her. She decided she'd pardon herself just this once.

  "Mind if I join you?" Edmund proposed. She merely nodded and they soon began to walk through the narrow hallways together. After a few seconds of silence, he joked, "So, what has her Highness subjected you to at this hour?"

  Hope refrained from sighing. "I've been sitting in on all of her conferences regarding her birthday next month for hours," she recounted. "I love her, but it's just so... so..."

  "Boring?" finished Edmund. "I get the feeling. I still remember my first colloquium. I couldn't sit still. Peter, my brother, nearly killed me."

  "I find that hard to believe," Hope lightly told him. "Odette tells me you've been parlaying with her father and his court all day."

  Edmund shrugged. "Well, I'm not the same person I was when I was first coronated," he mused. "I'm not one for bragging, but I'm quite decent at what I do now."

  She hummed. "So I'm told. Anyway, I got caught falling asleep at the table, so she sent me away to fix her a cup of tea."

  "Oh, I'll join you."

  She shot him a perplexed look. His words were so casual that they almost didn't make sense to her. Didn't he have better things to do? Wasn't he tired? Did he really want to spend the evening hanging around with a servant? Then again, Hope could certainly use the company. She decided not to argue.

  Curious, she wondered, "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you still doing up at this hour?"

  Edmund's eyes were trained forward as they walked. "Well, after spending the day with King David, I ended up at the library. I figured it'd benefit me to learn more about Wysteria's history. I was quite tired from today though, so I didn't get much reading done." He peered back at her, noticing how she pinched her eyebrows together in dismay. "What?"

  Hope's eyes widened. "Oh! I'm deeply sorry, I didn't mean to make that face," she apologized. "It's just... You read?"

  Chortling, he remarked, "Of course, I read! How hard did you hit your head the other day?"

  "Oh, very funny," she laughed. It was then when she realized her weariness had made her just a tad delirious. She was a mess. She was hardly thinking about what she was saying, forgetting she was talking to a bloody king!

  Nonetheless, Hope continued, "I suppose I just assumed all kings refuse to read or study because they think they already know everything there is to know. That's what King David—" She faltered, realizing she wasn't speaking to just anyone. This was King David's future son-in-law! Was she a complete idiot or something? "Ignore that."

  Something that Hope would later realize was that Edmund was never one for listening.

  "Don't worry, I've said worse things about my brother," he quipped as they turned the corner. He noticed Hope's hesitance, allowing him to step before her. He found the action amusing. "I take it you dislike Odette's father?" When she was quiet, he added, "I'm taking that as a yes."

  "You'd... be correct," she slowly admitted. Then, she shook her head. "But he's the King of Wysteria, so—"

  "So?" dared Edmund. "You shouldn't be afraid to openly dislike him. You're only human."

  Neglecting her bewilderment, Hope explained, "It's disrespectful to speak poorly of King David. Besides, it doesn't matter what I think."

  "Why not?"

  Hope shrugged. "I'm not a person of power or royalty, so my opinion is worthless."

  As a king, Edmund disliked the sound of that. "But he's your king. Your opinion should matter."

  She laughed. She actually laughed!

  Entering the kitchen, Hope declared, "You Narnians do things completely differently from the rest of the world." She approached a cabinet and opened it up, adding, "If I wake up tomorrow with an order to be guillotined, I hope you know I'm taking you down with me."

  "Such cruel words for a girl who's startled every time she turns a corner."

  She brought a few items back to the counter where he lingered. Then, she placed her palms against the cool surface and teased, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're not very funny, Your Majesty."

  "Then, what are you still laughing for?"

  Perhaps it was a stretch, but Edmund appreciated her lack of hesitation to joke with him. Everyone else always tiptoed around him because of his title. Their banter was refreshing.

  Edmund pulled a stool forward and observed as she got to work, finding it fascinating how certain things were universal between the realms. For example, the method of preparing tea in Wysteria and Narnia was the same as it was in England. It reminded him of his mum.

  Yes, Edmund thought of his original home often. However, he noticed that the longer he and his siblings stayed in Narnia, the more his memories of England waned. Certain things were beyond him, such as the names of his former teachers and the address of his childhood home.

  "So," began Hope, pulling the king out of his thoughts, "what's Narnia like?"

  A genuine smile tugged on his lips at the mention of home. "It's everything you could dream of." The animals talk, and the trees dance. Magic's everywhere you look. You'll love Narnia. Everyone does."

  She was awestruck imagining Narnia. She grew up reading fairytales about the majestic lion and his creation. Hope secretly dreamed of standing in the same place where Aslan and the four prophesized saviors that ended the Long Winter once stood.

  "What about you?" countered Edmund. A faint aroma dispersed throughout the kitchen as the tea brewed. "What's your story?"

  Hope shook her head. "Oh, trust me, no story I tell will amount to any of yours. I'm not a very interesting person, I'm afraid. Odette, on the other hand—"

  Interrupting her yet again, Edmund pointed out, "Well, I'm not asking about you because I wish to hear about the princess. You're her best friend."

  "I'm her lady-in-waiting," Hope corrected.

  "I don't see why you can't be both," he declared. "I think it's only customary that if we're going to be stuck with each other for the rest of eternity, I should get to know you." He didn't know why he was so insistent on befriending this girl. Perhaps he just wanted to make a friend. It was like someone was whispering in his ear that they would be a great pair. It was almost like a hunch or a sixth sense.

  She supposed he had a point. Besides, she knew it would please Odette if they befriended one another.

  So, she sighed and narrated, "My mother was a handmaid in the castle and my father was the Captain of the Royal Guard, so they were bound to meet at some point. Father used to tell me it was practically love at first sight, except mum wasn't interested at first. He used to tell me stories of how he'd sneak away from his duties for a chance to talk to her. He was so infatuated with her that she once convinced him to do some of her chores without him even realizing it. They were an unlikely match from what I can gather, but you know, opposites attract."

  Edmund chuckled at the thought. "That's sweet."

  Her gentle smile fell as she revealed, "My mum, uh, she died giving birth to me. Wysteria's healthcare isn't exactly ideal, so deaths of that nature are common, especially for the lower class. My father named me after the last thing she told him before she died: Have hope." Hope shook her head when she noticed Edmund's look of worry. "Don't be sorry. Things happen for a reason."

  Regardless, Edmund was empathetic. He couldn't imagine what it was like walking in her shoes. If the roles were switched, he would blame himself every day for causing his mother's death.

  "I grew up in the castle as a handmaid," she continued. She offered Edmund a cup of tea, which he kindly thanked her for. "My father was always busy with the guards, so I spent most of my time with other servants. They're sorta my extended family, you see. When I was 13, Odette's lady-in-waiting retired, and my father somehow convinced the princess to give me a chance since we're about the same age. And that's... essentially been my life since then. There's not much room for anything that doesn't involve the royal family."

  Hope didn't expect Edmund to care much about her dreary life. To her surprise, he was actually intrigued.

  "Did your father ever teach you a thing or two about swordsmanship or the army?" Edmund wondered, stirring his desired amount of milk and sugar in his tea.

  "He taught me everything he knew," she fondly reminisced. "But Odette doesn't care much for swords and knights, and after my father died, I haven't had the time for that sort of thing." When Edmund choked on his tea, her eyes widened. "Are you alright?"

  "You're so... casual!" admitted Edmund.

  Hope tilted her head to the side. "About what?"

  "About your father's death!"

  "Oh, did I not mention that earlier?"

  "No!"

  She wore a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I guess I'm used to talking about it at this point. I think I've spoken to every single person in the castle about my father's death by now, but even though she's been dead for much longer, I hardly ever talk about my mum." She shrugged. "He died when he caught an illness overseas two years ago. I was 14."

  Hope was suddenly engulfed with insecurity. 'Way to make the poor man pity you. You couldn't have saved that story for a rainy day? You just met him two days ago!' she thought.

  "If it helps," he suddenly spoke, interrupting her intrusive thoughts, "I sorta know the feeling. I haven't seen my father in years. He left my family to fight a war back home. Not Narnia, a... a different land."

  Curiosity ignited within her. "You mean the place you and your siblings lived in before you came to Narnia?" she inquired. "I don't know the specifics, but you're all rather famous around here."

  Edmund chuckled, "That's a story for another day. I wouldn't want to bore you."

  She pursed her lips, somewhat pouting. Then, she straightened her posture, curtseyed, and offered him a little smile. "I'll get you for that, Your Majesty."

  He observed as she took a tray for Princess Odette's tea and headed toward the door. "I'm afraid you'll never hear another word from me if you keep calling me that," he taunted. Before she left, he added, "Goodnight, Hope!"

  He didn't have to see her face to know she had rolled her eyes.

  "Goodnight... Edmund."

  Edmund found himself lingering in the kitchen for just a moment longer once she left. 'What a strange girl, indeed,' he thought to himself.

  Hope didn't know it yet, but she'd finally found the kind of friend she'd spent her whole life looking for.