Content Warnings:

•Season 4 Part 3 Spoilers
•Mentions of Death
•Strong Language
•Violence
•Ghosts
•Death
•Blood
•Guns
•Gore
•War
•Fire

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Flashback

As a young child you always craved more attention from your brothers, especially your father. Sure, he took care of you and made sure you were happy but it wasn't enough. You lacked a shared interest with him. Neither of you had anything in common besides a few physical features but that was it, it was only skin deep. The man was always working or fishing to feed your family, very rarely taking a day off even if he was ill.

You realized that the only way to spend time with your dad and brothers was to be interested in what they liked as well. The most obvious thing was mechanics. The practice was in your blood, generation after generation. Your father's grandfather had started the business your dad now owns and operates, and one day the shop would be passed down to your brothers. By default, you wanted to be included as well.

The day you picked up a book about mechanics for the first time, you were hooked. Even if you did not necessarily understand in the beginning, you were determined to learn more. Part of the reason was because you wanted to bond with your family, the other part was to learn the trade your ancestors practiced so you could fit in. You wanted to be just like them. You always struggled to fit in, so what better way than when you had the opportunity?

That night, your father had come in to say "goodnight" but alas, you were already sound asleep with the book laid open on your face. Your tired self had dropped it and you were too far gone to even notice. The man crept over and carefully removed the worn book, realizing which one it was after inspecting it. He never felt more proud besides the day his children were born. He did not really intend on introducing you to his craft, he simply assumed you wouldn't be interested. However, you proved him wrong.

From there on, you dedicated your days to studying all the books your father had in the workshop. Eventually, you memorized each one. Your favorite by far was the book dedicated to building ODM Gear. Materials, measurements, repairs, you name it. Its what led you to your obsession. Your passion. Learning that Scouts got to use them all the time on expeditions excited you like no other. The other two Military branches did not use them hardly as much, granting you a reason to yearn to join the Scouts.

Once you became conscious of your ability, your grandfather had paid a visit while you were reading the ODM Gear book again one day. You read that thing at least once a week for pure enjoyment. You did not doubt you could read it with your eyes closed, upside down. The older gentleman sat with you in the workshop and quietly grinned down at the pages you read, finger caressing the pages as you underlined each sentence. You felt his hand on your shoulder to give it a squeeze to show he was proud of you for following in not only your father's footsteps but his, and his father's before him. They were all days you would never forget or forget to be thankful for. "Keep it up, kid." He had told you.

Flashback End

"We were together for over six years." Zeina mumbles with a numbness to her voice. Her throat still irritated and scratchy from sobbing in your arms for an hour after it happened. You were silent the whole time, dumbfounded on what to say in the situation. So, you let her release all her feelings. You sit adjacent to her, quietly listening to her get feelings off her chest now that she could finally speak without choking up. Reality must have been setting in finally. "Because you planned on never coming back? To us? To dad?" You decide to ask, the question eating away at you for the past few minutes. Pausing to process your question, the similar (color)-haired woman hangs her head. "I don't know what I planned, Y/n. I really don't." She whispers, sounding lost.

You let the atmosphere grow quiet again, searching for any follow ups to release the awkward tension. Why does every interaction with her have to feel so uneasy? It was never that way before, until she unloaded that she was your mother, not your aunt.

"So, General Magath..." Your words fizzle out for a brief second, the idea in your head feeling uncomfortable. "You weren't remarried, were you?" Your brows twitch into a frown for a moment. Even though you longed for your mother, you still held on to hope that neither of your parents would ever move on. If that day ever came that your real mother was back in your life, they would be in love like nothing ever changed. You guessed that would never be the case with the current circumstances now. With a slight huff, Zeina subtly laughs, her lips quivering into a small, sad grin. "No... it wouldn't look good for either of us. It was a deep secret, much like your abilities were." She reminisces, grin falling back into a frown as she bites on her bottom lip to prevent another crying episode.

Wiping her eyes with the corner of her jacket sleeve, you place a hand on her back, even if you still have spiraling thoughts over the unrealistic, childish dream you had for many years. You would have to let it go eventually. You just never thought it would be today. "I'm sorry... mom." You whisper, eyes facing forward. The woman beneath your hand stills herself, gently turning her head to face the side of yours. She then sits back up to embrace you around her tight arms. This time, its her turn to do the comforting. "I can never apologize enough for how I handled the situation I was put in- you were put in. I'm sorry, Y/n." Your mother keeps her gaze steady. "You don't have to keep apologizing." You shake your head, slowly facing her as well. "You were dealt a bad hand." You shrug, accepting things for the way they happened because that was all you knew: that you didn't have a mother.

"I'm just relieved for the way you turned out. You're strong-hearted, devoted, selfless... and everything else in between. I knew you were in good hands being raised by your father, I never doubted that. I wouldn't change a thing about the way that you are." Her grin returns as she admires your person. "Maybe the fact that you look more like me softened him to be gentle with you." Her suggestion makes you chortle slightly, as it was far from the truth. "From my perspective, not really. He was more worried about my survival, so I was treated more like the boys. The only difference was he sheltered me a lot. After he found out about... that thing." You respond with a sigh towards the end. Once again, the space falls quiet. Only this time, its less awkward.

"He still did a good job though, I think." Your mother finally counters, leaning back into the chair she sits upon. She was finally accepting the truth about everything, losing Theo, and maybe forgiving herself for leaving you and your family. One thing though, you fear its not a good time to tell her that your father remarried. You don't know how she will take the news, so you decide to save it for another day.

If we're granted that.

"I just always knew we wouldn't be together." Your mother suddenly speaks up after a few minutes, catching you off guard. "You saw your future?" Your brows stitch together. "I did. The day I met him, I knew we'd be married with a family but... I also knew we weren't destined to stay together." Her voice softens in a sad way. Biting your cheek, you part your lips to answer what you were previously avoiding. "He married a new woman some time ago." You sigh, not daring to meet your mother's eyes. However, you can sense no surprise from her end. Like she was waiting for you to say it.

"I figured he would eventually. I'm glad he did. I never meant to cause him hurt either. I feel better knowing he could move on because it took me a long time to accept that as well." This time, you do sense a shift in energy from her. She wishes they could have somehow stayed together but alas, it wasn't reality. They had to move on from their past. "I was afraid to tell you that." You admit, finally peeling your eyes away from a wall to glance her direction again. "I know. I just wanted to hear it come from you." She gives a slight grin to ease your nerves.

"So, do you like her?" Your mother decides to ask. Your eyes grow slightly, lips now pursed as you lean back into your chair as well. "She's a bitch and I always disliked her." You shake your head, causing your mother to chuckle an embarrassing amount. "Good thing he didn't upgrade!" She snickers. Letting your guard down more, you join her giggles while you have the chance to forget about the fate of humanity. All you've wanted was to be with your mother, so what's to stop you from laughing with her now that you have the chance?

After a bit of time processing, you realize you have to tell your squad the news. To them, the woman is still Lux, your aunt. However, you've been blessed to know that she is in fact your mother, Zeina. It was difficult to come to terms, but now is the time. They must know too.

Pulling them all into the same room, you wave over Zeina to stand next to you, her expression a tad confused. "What's it you wanted to tell us, Y/n?" Jean asks, standing in the back with his arms crossed over his chest. Your squad nods in agreement, glancing back at Jean before returning their focus to you, noticing Zeina- Lux, to them, now beside you. Clearing your anxious throat, you glance once at Zeina before spilling the truth. "Guys, this is actually my mother," your eyes dart back her direction, for some reason finding it hard to keep them on your comrades, "Zeina."

"What?!" "Really?!" Shock envelopes the room, never expecting this outcome. Some of your closest comrades knew you were desperate to find her, never giving up even though you were told otherwise about her whereabouts. With no one knowing what to say, Commander Hange gratefully fills in the silence. "No way!" They gasp, rushing over to embrace you both in a group hug. "That's so cool! Did you know?" The Commander smiles brightly, pulling back enough to see your face. With a small grin, you shake your head. "No," you start, but Zeina speaks up, "I'm sorry for lying to everyone in the beginning," she pulls away to face the room, "in order to keep my daughter safe, I had to use my late sister's identity. Only the Marleyan Military and the Warriors knew the truth." With open ears, Zeina explains her story to your squad.
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Much later that night, you finally arrive at an empty dock in Odiha where the flying boat is stored. After securing the ship, you descend to step foot on land for the first time in awhile, taking in a deep breath. It is quieter than any town you've ever been in. The people must have already fled for it feels like a ghost town.

Following your squad to the hangar, you look up at the large piece of metal, covered in a fabric. "Remove the cover! Hurry!" Jean shouts to everyone, already working on a spot. You claim a section to work on pulling the fabric off. "Dammit! These explosives are in the way." Conny mentions from the other side. "Let's cut 'em off and toss 'em." Reiner suggests. "Wait. We might be able to use them. Let's load them on the flying boat." Armin counters. Following his lead, you each strategically remove the explosives from on top of the flying boat in order to pull off the cover. Then, you're able to load them on afterwards.

After about an hour of work, the engineers begin mounting the wings. You watch in awe as they work. This is something they're accustomed to, something they've probably done a hundred times. However, to you and your people, its a sight you've never seen before, let alone, could even imagine. You never thought you'd fly in a different way than with your ODM Gear. As you study the engineers, that childlike fascination you experienced when you read the first line from those old mechanic books sparks once more. You'd love to learn how to build more things, like the flying boat. If there's still a world to come back to, maybe you can do that?

I can keep on dreaming.

While the engineers continue, you decide to head back to the ship to gather supplies from it to transfer over. The others are already scattered about the ship, dock, and hangar, so you all mindlessly pass each other since you have jobs to do. Carrying out a box with your ODM Gear, you look down at it with a touch of sadness. You favored the original model for multiple reasons, one being that Tristan used to help construct and use them. However, now that you've switched to the newer model, he was never part of that process. He was gone before they were developed, so in a way, the originals were one of the last pieces you had of him. Neither of them experienced the other's existence. If only he got to be a part of the upgrades you assisted in drafting, maybe he would have been part of the process too?

Continuing fourth after the brief pause, you happen to hear a muffled voice from the hallway outside the room you're currently in. Furrowing your brows at the strange commotion, you push your way through the cracked open door with your shoulder. "This is crazy! You should still be in bed!" Armin follows Captain Levi down a set of stairs. "Stay in bed? If I lie down any longer, you shits are gonna forget all about me." The man in front of him clings onto the railing as he slowly descends. "And that bearded bitch who passed out after her arm was broken is awake. I'll be damned if we don't make her tell us where Eren's going." He grits his teeth together.

Noticing you from the corner of his eye, Armin waves you over frantically. "Y/n! I can't talk the Captain back into bed, so can you help me take him to Yelena?" He asks, tone sounding defeated. He knows better than to press too hard onto Captain Levi. Quickly nodding, you set down the box to brisk your way over, grabbing the Captain's left bicep to wrap around your shoulders. Armin makes it to the bottom of the stairs after Captain Levi, doing the same but with his right arm. "You idiots, I can walk. You don't need to manhandle me." The raven male says in a low, threatening tone. You look up/down/over at the man, deciding not to get on his bad side, so you unwrap his arm to simply hold him up by his upper arm. Armin, again, follows suit.

Captain Levi still grumbles but doesn't bark at either of you again, somewhat tolerating the assistance to find Yelena. "Thanks for your help, Y/n." Armin sighs quietly, grateful he wasn't left alone with the Captain. "No problem. He probably would have yelled at you." You chuckle lightly, acting like the man himself isn't right next to you. "Shut up, brats." Captain Levi growls, even more annoyed with you two. "Sorry, 'Cap." You sigh softly, giving a small squeeze to his tricep. The action makes you mentally slap yourself, forgetting who you are dealing with for a moment. What were you doing? If the man weren't injured and still recovering, you would have been put into a headlock three seconds ago.

I kinda deserve it, though.

As you cautiously stroll down the dimly lit hall with a warm face, a lightness washes over your being, the feeling of floating taking over, nothing but calmness relaxing you. You swear you see something on the bleak horizon, perhaps figures? A pulling tugs at you to investigate, traveling deeper, drawing nearer. You want to identify those figures, if that's what they truly are. You ponder the lack of feeling but don't dive too deep, almost tranced by the first time of feeling... nothing. Is this what it feels like to be normal?

Captain Levi-!

You jolt back to consciousness, your grip on the Captain's arm becoming tighter as you slowly return to reality. Suddenly inhaling sharply like you have just woken up from a nightmare, you receive a tensed-up tricep beneath your grip as well as double stares from the two men on your right. They both had stopped walking, taking the moment to eye you with confusion. Your (color) eyes are still wide from the catapult back to reality, glancing between Armin and Captain Levi's silent stare. The Captain doesn't even mention the uncomfortable grip you have on him, rather, waiting for an answer. You swallow the forming lump in your throat, at a loss for words on how to begin explaining whatever just happened. Then, the warmth creeps back, thinking out of embarrassment.

"Are you okay?" Armin finally breaks the long pause, still only slightly used to your moments of going other places mentally. Coming close enough to your normal self again, you quickly loosen your grip on the Captain, nodding sheepishly. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry." You keep it short, unsure of how you can explain. Part of you still struggles to be open and honest with your squad. You know you can be but they still wouldn't understand to the full extent.

"Tch, Liar." Captain Levi scoffs, dragging his eyes off of you, taking a step forward to force you and Armin to walk with him again. Following the Captain, you remain quiet as not to act a fool again for their sake. The longer you stay quiet, the more senses you pick up on. Captain Levi's energy is... less dense than usual. At least, it was much lighter before he called you out a minute ago. Now, its becoming closed off again. Without realizing in the moment, he was letting his guard down around you. You were so close to entering his thoughts. Closer than you had ever been before. Was he finally allowing you in?

Or was he already letting me in?

You eventually make it to Yelena's room, stopping in front of the door. Looking up at it, you glance at Armin who notices, returning the gesture. "Do you mind if I bail here? I already promised to finish helping Jean and the others with the flying boat." You ask with a hint of worry that Armin would deny you, even though you know he wouldn't do that. "Not at all. Thanks for your help, again." He grins softly. "Take it easy, though." He adds to which you smile back, nodding. "Of course." You respond, hesitant to leave at first. You turn back to face Captain Levi. "You as well, Captain. Take it easy. Sorry again about earlier." You say lowly, getting nothing but silence from the older man. You didn't even need your abilities to predict he wouldn't say a thing to that. He is a fairly predictable man, after all.

Returning to the hangar with your ODM Gear, you set it aside for later, noticing Jean had already brought in the last barrel of fuel for the flying boat. "Go ahead and leave it there." Onyankopon tells Jean what to do with the barrel. Joining the worn out males, you cross your arms over your chest, watching the stressed engineers again. Pretty soon, you'll be in that thing to find Eren. The thought sends a shiver down your spine. "Why did it come to this?" You quietly wonder.
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In the very early morning, you regroup with your squad after a short night's rest. You don't remember sleeping at all, maybe because you only managed about two hours at most? No wonder you feel so exhausted already.

"Hange! In about an hour, we can begin preparations for takeoff!" Onyankopon shouts from beside the flying boat. "Got it!" Commander Hange responds, turning back towards you all. "You heard the man. Each of you, inspect your gear." The brunette glances around the group. "Yes, Commander!" You each respond. You are very used to performing this task by now, even with the newly updated version of your gear. You learned your lesson the hard way by never skipping an inspection ever again. A few minutes to run diagnostics won't kill you but not doing so will.

After completing your check-up, which passed, your eyes wander to the Captain as he sits on a box, struggling to pull back the lever with just his right ring finger. The sight is utterly pitiful, causing your face to contort to such. He was Humanity's Strongest Soldier, now here he is, nearly broken but still willing to fight. "Two fingers is all I need. I'm ready." He speaks up without a lace of doubt in his tone. You believe him, nonetheless.

Annie had decided not to continue the fight, needing to step back after fighting for so long. You understand but of course hoped she would help out. At the end of the day, you too wished you could stop fighting. The blonde is about to board the ship with Kiyomi and your mother when your squad gets her attention. "Annie!" You all shout down the dock. The blonde girl turns around to face your squad, silently waiting. "Annie, take care!" "See you later!" You smile at the girl you barely knew. Sure, you first met her as the Female Titan who took part in wrecking Stohess District but you truly met her only a few days ago as the real Annie. She's a kind girl who only felt lonely and had to fulfill her duties as a Warrior. You feel bad for her.

After Annie gets on the ship, your squad returns to the hangar for a quick breakfast while you still have the chance. As you lift a water canteen to your lips, a gentle touch on your right shoulder captures your attention. Lowering the canteen, you look over to see your mother behind you. "I guess this is a 'see you later,' until we meet again after it all." She flashes a small side grin. Setting down the canteen on the crate in front of you, you turn around to fully face your mother. Yeah, I'll see you later." You nod, returning the half smile. Stepping closer, the older woman pulls you into her arms, squeezing you tightly. "You be careful out there. You and your friends, okay?" She hums with her head against yours. "I will. We will." You chuckle dryly, still feeling that bit of numbness.

I've longed for this.

You remind yourself as not to feel guilty for still being in a bit of a whirlwind. "You better get back on the ship before you're stuck fighting with us." You pull back enough to look down at her face. "Don't rush me." She rolls her eyes, pulling you back in. This time, you wrap your other arm around her as well, giving a small squeeze. "We'll be okay." You mumble. "I know you will be. I love you, Y/n." She whispers. You feel frozen in place. Have you really never been told that? No mother or motherly figure besides Mrs. Akimoto had loved you. This is what you wanted.

"I love you too, mom." You whisper back with a moment of hesitation, just to get your bearings. "Good. Begin the fueling process!" An engineer shouts from a few feet away. Drawing back again, you meet your mother's gaze. "You seriously need to go now." You tell her, earning a grin. "Take care." She drops her arms from you, waving "bye" to you and your squad. Once far enough, Jean steps closer to your left side. "Don't get too sappy over your mommy, Y/n. You still have to play soldier." He teases, nudging your shoulder. You forgot how surprised but accepting your squad was when they learned of Zeina's true identity. Rolling your eyes, they land up/down/over on his with a bored expression. "I'm not listening to a younger brother-ish figure telling me what to do." You tease back, returning the playful nudge except you put a little more power into yours. The sandy-brunette snickers as he backs down, leaving you be again.

As your eyes drift away, an odd sensation takes over your body, causing your mind to immediately wonder what the problem is. Quickly searching for an answer, you feel a burning pain in your right shoulder.

Could it-

Your body instinctively reacts by dropping to a crouch, hands covering your head as multiple bullets whizz past you. Immediately, Mikasa jumps into action, firing an ODM Gear anchor straight into the shooter's throat. A familiar redhead's face appears in your mind before you recover and turn around to confirm his identity. Sure enough, you spot Floch being held up by Mikasa's anchor, blood draining from his neck. You should have paid more attention back on Paradis. You would have noticed his spirit didn't leave his body if he really was dead back then.

I'm always a stupid fool.

You and your squad rush over to the Yeagerist, crouching beside him. "Floch... don't tell me you clung to the ship all the way here..." Commander Hange questions with a puzzled expression. "Hange! There are holes in the fuel tank! We can't fly like this!" Onyankopon shouts from beside the flying boat. Collective gasps echo throughout the hangar, many thoughts circling everyone's minds. "Don't lose hope. If we can cover the holes, we can make it work!" One of the engineers makes his way over. You notice his bloody right sleeve, your fingers subconsciously brushing over yours. That's what the vision saw.

"Get the welding tools!" Another engineer orders. All three of the men begin working vigorously, eager to get it done in order to get out of here. "How long will it take?" Commander Hange wonders, approaching an engineer. "With tin plates, we could do it in an hour, barely." As he reaches for snips, he notices the tool begin to wobble on the crate.

You feel the shaking beneath your boots, only this time when you look up from the ground, your field of vision is replaced by countless Colossal Titans. "Dammit..." You mutter, realizing the rumbling has already caught up to you.

"This sound..." Commander Hange's eyes widen. "Don't tell me...!" Reiner gasps, rushing out of the hangar to look out towards the mountains. "It's here. The rumbling... is here." His voice falters. You jog outside behind Reiner, staring up at the incoming fog from the rumbling. You already thought it was scary being behind the charge but now that you're in its path, its beyond terrifying. You hadn't even thought about how many spirits you're going to deal with beyond death. They will haunt and blame you to the point of immobilization from them stealing all your energy. Its hard enough ignoring Bertholdt's demon, how the hell will you ignore the world?

I'm going to be useless in this fight... what was I thinking?

You already sense hundreds of spirits, even if you're blind to them. This is the price you will pay, with or without the rumbling. You'll carry this burden until you become a spirit yourself. You know that you have to push the doubts away.

Eventually, the rest of your squad meets you outside to face the incoming wave of Colossals. "Armin, do you have any ideas?" Mikasa asks. "Only one. I stay behind and slow them down." Armin stares ahead. "It can't be you. You're our sole trump card for stopping Eren. I'll do it." Reiner intervenes. As you listen, you notice a slight change in your body. Something feels off again.

"That's obviously not the play. We can't afford to expend another shred of Titan power. I'm the one who led you this far. And we killed many friends and comrades to get here. I'm taking responsibility for that." Commander Hange announces as they approach, already geared up with Thunder Spears. "Hange..." Armin turns to face them. "Armin Arlert. I hereby designate you the 15th Commander of the Scout Regiment. The position calls for a certain quality- a mindset of continuously pursuing understanding. There's no one more suitable than you. I leave everyone in your hands." Commander Hange tells the blonde, leaving you all speechless. "Well, that's that. See ya, everyone." The Commander smiles, turning around to part ways with your Captain.

Then, your body fills with extreme heat to an almost unbearable temperature. You become finicky, almost itching at your (color) shirt as it feels hot and restrictive. As you continue to wonder what this means with what focus you do have, your eyes take you back to Commander Hange, unable to break the contact. That's when you understand.

No... No!

Your mind yells at you, temperature increasing even more the longer you look at them. You want it to stop but you can't. It won't quit. You're forced to suffer for what is to come and you can't even warn them. Your body refuses to answer. Before, you were always too late to understand the hints. You failed to recognize who they were for. Now that you finally know, your body is locked in place, leaving you to burn inside a shell. You want to kick and shout, to rewrite the future before it even happens. You want control over your life again.

As the edges of your eyes darken, a tiny circle of your vision remains over your Commander's face as they talk to Captain Levi. The ground trembles and shakes, becoming stronger with each passing second that you're trapped. You're desperate to convince yourself this vision is meant for somebody else but if it was, you think that your body would allow you to turn away.

As you struggle to internally fight yourself to escape, you feel a brush against your right arm. "Geez! Are you on fire?" Jean's whine is loud enough to hear over your internal wails. You're released from your prison, even if you still feel like you're burning from the inside out. "Commander... Hange..." You mumble with a pant to your tone, aware of the sweat you broke. Furrowing his brows, Jean looks up/down/straight at you with a puzzled expression. He knows you saw something but he doesn't know what.

Finally dragging your nails away from your itching arms, you sprint towards the Commander but they already shoot an anchor to take off. Armin, Mikasa, and Conny were already running towards them but you're all too late. Commander Hange is sacrificing themself for you all to escape. You watch as they slowly become smaller the further they go into the sky. What you saw is something you hate to burden your squad with. You don't want to soil what bit of hope they have for your Commander and that they'll return unscathed.

I wish that were true.

"Its sealed! Start fueling!" One of the engineers shouts in the hangar. "Hurry! Hurry!" You hate to leave Commander Hange to the Titans, so you watch for a moment longer as they take out one after the other. You know their fate before they even do, when exactly it'll happen and how. They deserve a longer life where they pass peacefully, not the one from your vision. It was painful.

You have to go but once again, your body won't allow you to. You're stuck facing the anticipating death of your Commander as they take down another Titan. You get pulled away by Jean to return to the hangar just as debris falls onto the roof of the hangar, breaking through the ceiling. Fortunately, it misses the flying boat. "Come on, Y/n! You're not staying to get flattened!" He barks at you. "Hange! We... We can't leave them!" Your shout breaks apart, aware that the Commander would never hear it. "They're right on top of us!" "There's no more time for fueling! Start the engine!" Onyankopon listens and starts the engine, the propellers gradually spinning faster. "Push the fuselage forward!" Jean and Reiner help push one side of the flying boat out of the hangar to get it to the water.

Conny reaches down to grab your hand, pulling you inside with the others, then leans back out to help Jean. "Grab my hand!" He shouts over the engine. Jean grasps his hand, jumping up to make it in. The flying boat drops into the water with a large wave just as you spot an explosion through one of the windows. Staring out, a ball of fire falls from the sky, your gut already knowing its your Commander. Your squad presses against other windows in order to see as well, a strong sense of sadness washing over them. "Hange..." Jean breathes out, not believing what he had just saw. The connection from that moment and earlier when he felt your skin burning through the sleeves of your shirt makes sense. You knew.

The Commander's baby blue spirit appears in the distance, just barely catching your eye. Hardly able to see their face, you wave a gentle goodbye, once again feeling like you failed them. You could have prevented their death and you did nothing but watch. You constantly wonder why you can't stop the cycle. Why can you see their future when you're not allowed to prevent them? As their spirit rises higher, it slowly dissipates, entering whatever afterlife there is. Staring up through the window, you feel lighter. Something in you let's you know they're okay, being welcomed by former comrades, even Moblit.

Commander Hange was the first person to accept your ability without ever doubting it. You will always be grateful for their kindness and eagerness to learn from you. However, you still feel like you've let them down.

As the flying boat officially leaves the water and touches the sky, tears fall from the eyes of many as the former Commander's body disappears. Your own tears begin to fall as well, half from frustration with yourself, the other half from the obvious death. No one knows what to do with themselves as they mourn the loss of a great friend and leader, especially Captain Levi. The man sits by himself, the pain getting to him as well. Even in your own sad state, you feel his opening energy again. His brick wall personality is thinning, allowing a sliver of you in. The guilt he feels is something he's used to. Not just from being in the Scouts but from his own personal experience. There's much more hiding beneath the surface but you can't penetrate yet.

Who else has he lost?

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Words: 5,930

03/05/23
(Update: 11/7/23): Omg I can't believe I just realized I never wrote the scene where you, the reader, explains Zeina's true identity. Dumb brain moment- my bad. Anyway, I fixed it and added a little scene where you do in fact share that news towards the beginning! So sorry for forgetting such an important part of the story!

Hello, readers! Its been awhile since the last update but I'm so happy to be back! Also, wow! This is the first chapter of 2023! The end of AOT is drawing nearer and nearer and honestly I'm very sad about that. I never imagined a day where I would no longer have anything to look forward to from this series.

Enough of the sadness, I have one more chapter to write (the second half of the first part 3 episode) before this book will be going on hiatus again. Don't worry, I'll be back to write more once the second episode of part 3 is out later this year in the fall! Since I'm writing based off of the anime, I want to wait until the episode is released. It helps me better understand scenes and how to describe them, rather than still images from the manga.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well and enjoyed this chapter as well as the latest episode of AOT! Many emotions were emotioning lol. I can't wait for the next episode but I also can wait, like I said, I'm sad to see it end.

Once again, thank you for reading! The next chapter should be out very soon!

~AlpineBreadStick