Content Warnings:

•Strong Language
•Violence
•Gagging
•Anxiety
•Angst
•Death
•Guns
•Loss

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This chapter is inspired by Maksim Mrvica's "Leeloo's Theme."

Sensitive content is present in this chapter, please read at your own discretion.

Flashback

Your very first day of school was one you never forgot. It seemed that everyone was capable of making friends and finding their people. Everyone except you. You were always the oddball that children didn't flock to or feel eager to get to know. That afternoon when you came home, you already knew school would be challenging if no one was interested in paying attention to you. All you wanted was a friend. You didn't care about how many, one was enough.

For that reason, Tristan was your only best friend for a long time, until you met Katsumi. The older boy always stood up for you and took the blame if you accidentally broke something in your father's shop. He had no reason to but he looked out for you, anyway. Whether some classmate made fun of you, he was always willing to talk to them to make them apologize to you. Even if your other brother, Quincy, was the one messing with you. Tristan was there to have your back, no matter what.

The two of you were stuck at the hip for years, until he had to leave for Cadet Corps to pursue the Military Police. Even far apart, you still maintained your close relationship by exchanging letters whenever you had the chance. Nothing excited you more than hearing back from him when he found the time to reply to your letters. You wished you had gotten more time with him before he suddenly grew up to start his own life. Most of the memories you remember of growing up with him were after he had left, considering you were still fairly young, only eight-years-old.

After your first full week of school, a pattern developed. No one would talk to you because they ran off to their other friends. Feeling left out of everything, your brother tried to lift your spirits everyday when he would pick you up. One day in particular, Quincy had the bright idea to open his mouth and tease you about it, which didn't end well. "Maybe they don't like you because you are weird?" The boy, two years your senior, pondered at the kitchen table. You had pursed your lips, truly believing the hypothesis. The idea made you feel worse than before but of course, Tristan tried to save the day. "Don't say that, Quince! They're the ones missing out on how cool she is!" The eldest barked, in full-force protection mode. "He's right." You shrugged, accepting the fact that Quincy was telling the truth, you were just a lonesome weirdo.

Tristan whipped his head around with wide (color) eyes and immediately shook his head. "Don't believe the first thing he says, (nickname). You know he's annoying." He then rolled his eyes and glared at your brother. "Hey, that's rude!" The other (texture)-headed boy frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. Tristan only sighed and left it alone, knowing that if he engaged it would only fuel the argument. You never did understand how someone could be so calm and patient. He never lost his cool in front of you, making sure he only presented his positive side to you. The last thing he wanted was to influence any more negativity into your life.

The boy was so charming to the point of catching the eyes of your classmates when he would pick you up from school. Maybe, your brother would be the reason kids would talk to you? The thought was a bit of a stretch, though. Why would anyone talk to you even if you had a cool big brother? Even though he was an amazing person who turned the heads of others, he was the most oblivious person to the attention. He would never admit to being a heartthrob for his kind and gentle nature, calling himself nobody special besides your brother. You desperately wanted him to see his own reflection because he impacted your life so greatly just by being there for you.

He was someone you desperately wanted to be like when you grew up. However, there was no two people that could be exactly alike. As hard as you tried, you would never be exactly like Tristan, so, to make up for it, you tried your best to stay positive, even with how difficult that was. Anyone would be lucky to know him but the fact that you were graced with the pleasure of being his little sister was enough to make you believe you could be like him. No one was luckier than you.

Flashback End

A few days have passed since you revealed the truth to your squad and Commander Hange. While they still process the information, many of your comrades have taken an interest in getting to know more about it. You figured they would be scared and distance themselves from you but luckily, that is not the case. You only hope there will be no more trouble after this, considering things could have turned out much worse.

That afternoon, Jean, Conny, and Sasha come to visit while you continue your recovery, still sore from your burned flesh. The trio takes a seat, chatting away and listening whenever you have something to say. Eventually, the topic comes back up again. "So... if-" Conny shakes his head, rethinking his question. "When you had to keep this a secret, how did you? How were you able to manage such a thing?" He re-asks. You take a long breath while you collect your answer, thinking of the best way to explain it. "I've never known a life where I could be open about it, so, I was used to always having to be secretive. It gets old being a liar but... I just had to do my best ignoring it to function like a normal person." You shrug your shoulders, hoping the answer is good enough. Fortunately, he nods, understanding.

Before anyone else has the chance to talk, a presence pokes at you, stealing your focus from reality. Realizing that a spirit is trying to contact you, you shift all of your attention to the spirit, ready to recite information. Jean eventually notices your lack of participation in the current small-talk between Sasha and Conny, waiting for you to re-enter the world. "M, M, M..." You mutter, brows knitting together as you try to concentrate and figure out the spirit's name. You feel a strong connection to Jean, putting two and two together. "Marco..." You whisper, immediately gaining Jean's full attention. "What did you say?" The sandy-brunette slowly asks, in a bit of shock. With only a minimal amount of confidence, you turn to face the young male near you. "Marco, right? Your friend?" You purse your lips afterward, waiting for an answer.

Jean hesitates but eventually nods his head, not expecting this. "Yeah... how did you know?" His voice is rather gentle with a hint of sorrow. "He's showing me wide arms, he's okay, and he wants you to know that." A small smile spreads on your face, realizing the bombardement of spirits you'll be getting when they realize you can finally tell your comrades. "He... said that?" Jean is in a bit of disbelief, still finding it hard to grasp that someone is able to communicate with his deceased friend. Its out of this world. "He did and he's quite proud of you for being inspired by Eren." You lightly chuckle, noticing Jean's face turn a bit rosy. Clearing his throat, he mutters, "It was my own choice." Chuckling some more, you go back to Marco who is happy as can be. Although, his passing was nothing but tragic, he has no regrets for the life he lived. He served his purpose, even if it was cut too short.
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Another night at the infirmary goes by in an instant and you're finally able to leave that afternoon, returning to the temporary Scouts Headquarters while you finish your recovery. Fortunately, your burns weren't bad enough to lose your flesh. It will heal over time and eventually scar over. You would gladly take that any day. You do, however, feel silly for your entire body being wrapped in bandages, from your neck down to your toes, underneath your casual clothes.

Upon arriving back at HQ, you thank Armin for riding back with you and helping you out of the wagon, considering your bandages don't allow comfortable maneuvering. Once your feet touch the ground, you raise your head back up, finally greeting the sky after being gone so long. You begin to notice a bit of a haziness, unable to tell if its from being cooped up so long or your lungs still getting used to all the fresh oxygen, rather than pure smoke. Brushing it off, you follow the blonde male back inside the building, grateful for all his help, nonetheless.

Before you even step foot in the building, Armin speaks up. "I meant to tell you but... the Military Police are coming tomorrow morning for a meeting with Commander Hange." He quietly informs you. Pausing in place, you think it over, heart slowly racing at the thought. What more could they want from you? Surely, they're pissed you escaped alive but the chase can't last forever. Without much to say, you just say "Okay." Armin silently follows behind you to the dining room where the others are waiting for your return.

"Y/n's back!" You hear Sasha exclaim, standing up from her seat while you enter the room with Armin. The others turn their heads, immediately rising up to greet you. "How are you feeling?" "Check out the cool bandages!" "You should sit down, I'll grab you water." You get bombarded with excitement the second you sit down at the table with your squad. "Hey." You smile gently at the group, looking up at Sasha who brings you a cup of water. "Thanks, Sash." You whisper, taking the cup to have a quick sip but squinting your eye for a moment from the sting in your hand. You hate feeling weak or having others tend to you when you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. However, you know they're only coming from a good place.

"Let's not bombard her with too many questions right now, she's still adjusting." Armin is kind enough to step in and speak up. "Good point." Conny quietly mumbles, understanding. "Take it easy, Y/n. We'll get you whatever you need." Sasha smiles at you, to which you grin back at her happy face. "You guys are the best, thank you." You reply, grateful to have such wonderful people as your friends and comrades.
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"Help me!" The ringing of a gunshot startles you awake. Jumping up, you frantically scan your shared room for anything out of the ordinary. Your body is too riled up to even process the soreness you caused to your wounds from the abrupt movement, heart pounding against your chest and in your ears. Then, suddenly, your stomach begins to turn, unfortunately recognizing the feeling. You quickly pull yourself out of bed, legs tangled in the blanket before you can fully stand. Hardly paying attention to your social awareness, you stumble out of the room and down the hall, desperately in search of the bathroom before you get too sick. Something isn't right. This is not a normal sickness.

Barely able to stand without a terrible, dull ache in your stomach, your vision begins to go hazy, breath heavy as you try to pull yourself the last few feet to the door. Its hard enough to hold in your gags, afraid to dirty the floor and get an earful from your Captain. It feels like years are passing as everything seems to happen so slowly, not noticing Mikasa had followed you out, worried, until you feel someone roughly grasp your shoulder. "Y/n, what's wrong?" Her voice echos in your head, mind unable to process and comprehend her words. "Mi... Mikasa..." You mumble with a dry mouth, head throbbing when you hold it up to look at her. "I don't..." You pause, eyes landing on her moving lips but nothing is coming out. Where did her voice go? "Feel so good..." You finally whisper before your head completely drops.
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A gentle tapping against glass stirs you awake, slowly entering consciousness again. With a distorted memory, you slowly sit up in your bed, peering to the right to see a bird sitting on the windowsill, pecking at its reflection on the glass. Slowly releasing your breath, you swing your legs out of bed, several pops sounding in your joints from laying so stiffly for hours on end. Standing still for a moment as you collect your thoughts, you feel off. Disregarding it, you quietly change behind the room divider as your roommate, Mikasa, is still asleep.

Something feels déjà vu about exiting the bedroom and heading down the hall but you can't put your finger on it. By the time you make it to the dining hall, there's already a few people inside, sitting down with bread. The lack of food here still never fails to surprise you, considering you're soldiers and have to protect the Walls, somehow. After grabbing your loaf and a cup of water, you join Jean and Armin who are quietly sitting together.

"Hey." You grin a bit as you settle down next to Jean, already aware that Eren and Mikasa will want to sit next to Armin. "Hey, Y/n. How are you feeling today?" The blue-eyed blonde greets you first. Thinking for a second you gently shrug. "Not too sure, just yet. I guess I'm okay." You answer, to which he nods. "Uh-oh, something must be wrong if you haven't teased me yet. Yeah, I'm surprised I'm up this early, too." Jean remarks, taking a bite of his bread. You stifle a small laugh, agreeing with the other male. He was right, you hadn't teased him yet which is always something you do whenever you see him. "Guess I'm still tired. I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night." You sigh, finally munching into your pitiful breakfast.

"How come?" Armin lifts a brow out of curiosity. "Nerves, perhaps? You said the Military Police are arriving today, right? Maybe that's why..." You ponder, suggesting that to be the only logical reason why you feel so drained and off. "Hopefully, it'll go well. I mean... considering Eren's case, the Scouts were able to take custody fairly easy." Armin suggests. "I suppose but also, this is something the Wall Worshippers are going to take much more seriously than them. Whatever is decided, I just don't want anyone else to get involved. That's why I've kept this a secret for so long." You look down into your water as Armin and Jean nod, understanding.

"So... all this time we've known you, you've been seeing people we used to know? And you never said anything?" Jean changes the subject after a moment of silence. Lifting your head back up to look over at him, you gently nod. "Correct. I may have never known them but I see them. Marco was one of the first people I saw when I joined the Scouts. It may be difficult to identify them at first without outside resources but I can make my best guess. That, and who they have strong connections to. I only ever saw Marco when I was near you, Jean. I figured he was your friend or brother." You answer, truthfully. Before he can respond, someone catches the corner of your eye, causing you to shift your gaze towards Armin, sitting across the table from you. Except, you stare directly behind him, seeing three strangers. Armin pauses for a second, subtly glancing over his shoulder but facing you once again when he realizes no one is there. "Y/n?" The boy eventually breaks the silence.

The last thing Armin expected was for you to start smiling, crinkling the corners of your eyes. "You're not alone either, Armin." You whisper, eyes glued to the three figures surrounding him. It takes Armin a second to process what you mean but when it hits him, his eyes widen. "You mean...?" He gasps. The smile on your face slowly fades away as you're shown some type of flying device and then a large crowd of citizens storming Wall Maria. Their deaths were tragic but they did it for the sake of humanity and a better life. Eventually, you answer the young male. "They're so proud of you. Especially your grandpa." You quietly confirm, feeling bad when the tears begin to form in his sky-blues. "T-That's all I've ever wanted..." The blonde mumbles with a sniffle.

Setting your bread down, you circle around the table to gently hug the boy, upset you made him emotional but you know he needed to hear it. "They can't get over how proud they are of you... you came a long way, Armin. They want you to keep fighting for freedom." You say quietly, cheek resting on the top of his head. "T-Thank you..." He grins softly, wiping his right eye with the palm of his hand. "I hope you all know that this is all I've ever wanted to do. Nothing would make me happier than being able to help others recover from losing someone important to them." You explain, sitting beside Armin for a moment while his tears dry up. "That has to be so hard..." He replies, sniffling a bit. "But I'm grateful you can do so now." He looks up/down/straight at you. "Well... to an extent, I guess. Maybe one day I'll be able to share with everyone without being hunted down." You chuckle lightly, trying to lighten the situation. "Yeah, that's true." Armin nods a bit, forgetting about that part.

When Mikasa and Eren enter the dining hall, they immediately notice Armin's post-crying face, quickly shuffling over to your table to check on him. "Armin, what's up? Why are you upset?" Eren asks, genuinely concerned for his childhood friend. "O-Oh, its nothing. I'm okay, guys, really!" The blonde stammers, waving his hands. Mikasa's charcoal eyes scan his rose-tinted face, not letting go of the situation before he explains in more detail. "Y/n was giving him a reading about... his family." Jean speaks up with a bit of caution. Eren and Mikasa turn their heads towards the sandy-brunette across the table, not expecting to hear that as the answer. "What do you mean?" Eren's brows furrow in slight confusion, still not exactly understanding the situation. "I saw Armin's parents a few moment ago. Even Marco, the other day." You explain to him, noticing his face relax afterward. "Oh." Is all he can say at the moment.

"Are you okay, now?" Mikasa asks the blonde, looking down at him in his seat. "I'm okay, don't worry about it. I'm just... relieved." Armin grins up at Mikasa, putting her at ease. Getting up from the chair to allow Mikasa to sit in your place, you sense a different energy from the girl before she sits down. She almost seems curious but would never admit it, keeping to herself instead. Before you walk away, you gently lay a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at you with a bit of surprise. "You're not alone, either." You whisper for only her to hear. Mikasa's spirits have not come forth to you yet as she feels a bit skeptical, feeling as if there would be no way for her to ever hear from her family again. However, there is the small "what if" that you can pick up on, letting you know that there are indeed people who crossed over watching out for her. If she's willing to open up, you would be more than happy to help her cope as well.

Returning to the other side of the table, you pick up your half-eaten loaf of bread. "I better get ready, the MP's will be here in twenty-three minutes." You announce to no one in particular. "That's an oddly specific time." Jean remarks, turning his gaze to look up at you from the table. "Well, I'm odd, too." You reply dryly, heading off towards the doors to leave. Just as you push past the doors, Conny and Sasha are on the other side, surprised to see you. "Hey!" Sasha gasps, eyes immediately falling to your hand holding the bread. "Here," You break the bread and give her the remainder, popping a chunk in your mouth. "Wha- thank you, Y/n!" She smiles, throwing her arms around your shoulders, quickly pulling away when she realizes you may still be injured. "I'm so sorry!" She gasps, feeling super guilty. "Don't worry, Sash. I'm okay." You grin lightly, not upset about it. "Geez, Sasha. Just eat your bread and let's go." Conny snickers, waving "bye" to you as they go inside the dining hall.

After returning to your room, you pull off your casual clothes to change into your uniform the best as you can. With your hands and fingers still bandaged, its a bit tricky trying to complete small, meticulous tasks like buttons. Since you lost your other uniform shirt, you had to swap out for a white button-up in the meantime, already regretting it. You had managed fine up to this point, struggling to even get one button through the hole. "I can assemble ODM Gear from the very basics but I can't button my shirt?!" You mutter in frustration, exasperated as you plop yourself down on your mattress. Giving a silent moment to yourself to recuperate, the doorknob turns before creaking open. Snapping your gaze up, you're relieved to find that its only Mikasa.

"Oh- sorry." Mikasa looks away as she enters the room, shutting the door behind her. "No worries." You reply, picking up the ends of your shirt to try a second attempt at closing it. "I just forgot my scarf." Mikasa mumbles, walking over to her bed to pull it off the blanket. When she turns back around, she notices you struggling to secure the first button. "Do you need help?" She offers, setting the scarf back down on her bed. Glancing up at her, you hesitate to answer, feeling ultimately defeated. Accepting your loss, you surrender and nod. "If you don't mind." You reply, keeping your head low. Mikasa grins ever so slightly in amusement, guiding you up off the bed and quickly buttoning your shirt, starting from the bottom.

"Sorry for inconveniencing you." You mention after a moment when she makes it to the middle, avoiding your bandages. "Its the least I can do. Besides, you helped Armin so... I should return the favor." Mikasa keeps her voice low, concentrating on securing the buttons. Acknowledging her offer, you change the subject after a second. "Did I... wake up last night, by any chance?" You feel dumb for asking but you simply can't remember. "Not to my knowledge, no." Mikasa answers, getting to the second-to-last button, leaving the very top one open. "Oh, okay." You nod, looking down at your neatly-buttoned shirt. "Thank you for all your help, Mikasa. I would have been in here all day getting one of those damned things closed." You chuckle, returning your gaze to hers. "No problem." She bows her head a bit, grabbing her scarf before heading towards the door. "We'll see you out there." She takes her leave afterward.
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All dressed in your uniform, you roam the halls towards the meeting area, the anxiety already building up in your chest as the time ticks closer and closer. Exactly twenty-two minutes have elapsed when you hear the sound of carriage doors slamming shut outside, signaling the arrival of the Military Police. Another minute passes when you then hear the front doors opening, announcing their official arrival to your Headquarters. A few seconds go by until you hear a group of footsteps behind you, growing closer. Looking over your shoulder first, you fully turn around when you see your friends approaching. "How the hell did you know when they'd be here? Its kind of creepy." Jean is the first to speak, catching up to you. Shrugging a little, you respond. "You already know the answer to that."

Eventually, you notice your superiors coming down the hall, towards you, being followed by the Military Police. Glancing at your friends first, you turn back around to follow your superiors before being stopped. "Cadets, I think it would be best if you wait here." Commander Hange announces to your squad. "Y/n, we'll take care of this." They quietly inform you after, to which you nod. Commander Hange then enters a room with Captain Levi, the MP's following after them. Glazing over each officer, your heart pounds faster and faster, the anxiousness getting the better of you. Even you can't predict what is going to happen during this meeting.

As soon as the heavy doors shut, you flinch slightly, even more so when a hand lands on your left shoulder. Looking over, you only see Sasha tilting her head towards the wall where the others are either standing by or leaning against. Taking a deep breath, you release it before joining them to wait for a conclusion. You decide to sit on the floor, finding it best to relax as much as you can, although, it is extremely difficult to at a time like this. The others make quiet small-talk, in an effort to distract you but its a bit useless, your attention always finding its way back to the room beside you.

Not much is heard other than murmurs as they begin discussing whatever it is that concerns them so much. You then make the poor mistake of closing your eyes to try and read in on their conversation, just barely able to hear clear enough. "The Wall Worshippers have expressed great distress about this information and its our duty to protect the people, especially Queen Historia." You hear the Commander of the Military Police, Nile Dok, explain. "That is understandable but also, we need to take into account how beneficial she may be to our future expeditions." Commander Hange responds to his claim. "You already have the Titan boy, so why can't we have custody over this one?" A different voice pipes in from the MP's. "Listen... we would rather not have another hearing with the Premier about this matter. We simply do not have the time to waste. You do realize we have enemies beyond the Walls and who knows when they will try to infiltrate again." Your Commander says.

It feels like hours of silence passes before someone speaks up again. The silence was beginning to eat at your nerves. "If Erwin were still here, he wouldn't hesitate to risk it all and trust his soldier for the future of humanity. I'm choosing to do the same, so, I am taking full responsibility for her because I trust her." Your Commander speaks again, realizing that the MP's weren't going to respond. You feel the slightest bit of relief hearing that your Commander trusts you, however, the meeting is not over yet. "She is still a threat to our society, though. How do you know she's not the enemy, either? She could have very well come from outside the Walls, too, planning to destroy us all with those witch-like powers!" Commander Nile's voice begins to rile up, startling you a bit. "Tell me, how do you know? How can you trust her so easily? How do we know you're not in on this either and plan to do something against your own people? Or should I even say that?" He goes off again, his anger bubbling up.

"Commander Nile, please." Commander Hange responds calmly. "Like I mentioned, we don't have the time to argue about this and I am trusting my judgement to believe her. Has she done anything anti-Walls or anti-Military yet? No. So let us handle this and use her abilities to further our fight for freedom." Just as Commander Hange finishes, Commander Nile intervenes. "This is ridiculous! You Scouts are always willing to risk anything and everything before thoroughly planning!" He barks at your superiors. "Calm your temper and don't let your personal feelings or opinions get involved." The monotone voice of your Captain steps in to deescalate the situation. "My cadet has already expressed times where she used her ability for the sake of humanity's victory and only for that reason. Since I know you like proof so much, take for example the identity of our previous cadets, Braun and Hoover. As well as Kenny the Ripper's attack in Trost District." Captain Levi explains dryly.

"But has she warned you either of those times?" Commander Nile responds in a mocking tone. Before Commander Hange or Captain Levi can answer, Commander Nile does so for them, already knowing what they were going to say. "Didn't think so. You see, she kept those things from you so you wouldn't find out. That damn witch is against you and you won't open your eyes wide enough to see it! I had to kill one of my men because of her! He was also hiding information from everyone!" The sudden eruption leaves you in shock, no doubt that everyone heard his claim. Frozen in shock, you don't register the slight stir in conversation beside you, a wave of thoughts flooding your head. You hardly even hear the meeting anymore.

"I suggest you do the same thing with her before she goes on a rampage and destroys us all! Before we have to do it ourselves! We don't want to clean up the mess you started again!" Commander Nile scolds, abruptly getting up from his chair to leave the room. Everyone else gets up to follow him out, including your own superiors. As soon as the doors open and he exits into the hallway, you glance up, only seeing red. Before your mind can even register your own actions, you jump up and grasp the man's collar, shoving him up against the wall you just sat against. Completely taken aback, the older male stares up/down/straight at you, in shock and slight fear, finally coming face-to-face with you.

Your grip on him becomes tighter, the bandages on your fingers tearing as your arms shake in anger. "You fucking killed my brother?!" Your voice rattles out of your constricting throat, startling everyone around you. Afraid of the ballistic behavior, they are all frozen still, not knowing what to do or how to react to your sudden outburst towards the Commander. The man in your deadly grasp struggles to respond, bottom lip quivering as he tries to make up his mind and say anything. "You fucking piece of shit stole his life! How dare you!" You scream in a fit of rage, your facial muscles straining as you do everything in your power to not choke him out on the spot.

Before you can grip any tighter, a pair of arms roughly wrap around your waist, pulling you away from the Commander as he stumbles a bit once your fingers are released from his shirt. "Cadet!" A voice booms but you don't hear it. "L-Let go of me!" You thrash around in the unknown grasp. "That man killed my brother! He didn't deserve this! He was your best and most loyal soldier!" You struggle to scream out, voice becoming tired and weak. Commander Nile lifts his head up a bit, panting as he holds the wall with his right hand, staring at you with nothing but terror. Just as you glance up, your own red eyes meet his wide ones, instantly catching a reflection in his eyes before it becomes a vision.

A young man was tossed to his knees with shackles, crying out for mercy in a confused and sorrowful state. Staring down at the young man, another officer stood behind him and raised a gun to the back of his head. "P-Please! I was t-trying to protect m-my sister! She did n-othing wrong! I don't w-want to die!" The man cried for his life and begged to his Commander as he kneeled before him. "You betrayed us, (Last name)!" The voice of Commander Nile shouted down at him as the other officer pressed the barrel to his skull. "Commander Nile, h-elp me! Plea-!" Were the man's final words before the trigger was pulled.

As the memory fades with the sound of a gunshot, tears collect in your eyes until they break past the barrier and trail down your pained face, no longer fighting against the arms around you. At this time, Commander Nile finally finds the words to confront you. "You act as if this was my choice! Just so we're clear, I never wanted this! He was my best soldier and had my full trust!" Commander Nile barks in your face as he watches the tears fall from your irritated (color) eyes.

"W-Why'd you fucking do it?!" You manage to yell, voice breaking up between your tears. Commander Nile pauses, his lips slightly quivering as he processes his thoughts. "None of this was fair! Your mistakes led to his destruction which ended in execution! This wasn't my doing, I had to follow orders." The older man's voice goes low towards the end. "I had plans for him once I stepped down. For Captain Tristan to become the next best thing for the Military Police. The Commander." He spits out. "His dishonesty made the Military Police question his loyalty. There's no room for that in the Interior. He disappointed me." The Commander explains slowly. You can slightly sense anger and grief he feels for the loss of his best soldier but its too late. He already sent your brother to death and you no longer trust him nor the MP's.

"Commander Nile, I'm so sorry for my soldier's behavior-" Commander Hange intervenes but gets cut-off by the man. "Forget it, don't even worry about the repercussions. I don't want any more involvement with her." The MP Commander gives you one last look before leaving with his fellow officers. As soon as their footsteps are out of earshot, the tears continue to freely pour from your burning eyes. With arms still tightly wrapped around your waist, you feel claustrophobic until they carefully pull away after a few more seconds. The energy around you is shocked and confused. No one knows what to say or do at this time. Standing still in your own thoughts, you feel like a trapped prisoner, forced to suffer in your own mind. This is how you've always felt. Your own shock gets in the way of your capability to comprehend your surroundings, holding your breath in before you can even begin to let out all of your feelings.

Eventually, a hand lays on your upper back, a muffled voice speaking next to you but you can't clearly understand what its saying. All you can see is Tristan, your very own brother. His terrified eyes piercing into your foggy mind. How could his own comrades betray him like that? Let alone, his Commander. After all he's done for them for almost ten years, they threw him away like it meant nothing to them. It pains your heart so heavily, forming a burning sensation in your chest until it becomes unbearable enough to collapse to your knees, the emotions finally catching up to you.

Your cries erupt through your scratchy throat, breaking apart as your back and shoulders shake in uncontrollable sobs, your entire being weak and succumbing to the pain. "W-hy?!" You choke out. No one had ever seen you cry in such a way, not even yourself. You can't recall a time you've felt this lost and out of control. You let yourself go in the sake of your brother's death, harming others for causing you such distress.

When the voices try penetrating your already screaming mind, you lose yourself even more, on the brink of insanity it seems. Afraid you'll become too reckless and hurt yourself, the same arms from before loop around you, in an attempt to lift you from the ground. "N-No!" You just manage to wail, weakly grabbing onto their hands. "Cadet, you'll hurt yourself!" The voice of your Captain breaks through your eardrums, finally able to hear someone speak on the outside. Shaking your head, you try fighting against his strong hold but you're no match for him while you're already this weak, only becoming worse. You've already passed the point of no return, becoming a rag-doll in his very grasp.

Commander Hange watches in guilt, unsure of how they can even begin to help you. Scared to touch you or even speak to you, they share a look with Captain Levi, both understanding that the best way to handle this is by allowing you to deal with it. The Captain hesitates but eventually releases his hold on you, assisting you back to the floor so you don't bust your knees upon impact with the hard wood. As soon as his arms leave you, a teary Sasha rushes to your side, hugging you to her chest as her own tears roll down her cheeks. Joining in, a crying Armin sits on the other side of you, eventually, every one of your friends holds onto you as you sob in their arms. They're not shy about letting their own emotions escape as they feel your remorse. Carefully reaching up, you grasp the material on Sasha's jacket sleeve, feeling as if its the only thing you can hold onto.

Your cries only become louder and louder, the more the pain settles in and takes residence in your body. Not only does it hurt you but it hurts everyone around you to see you so vulnerable, broken, and lost. When your strained voice starts catching in your throat, everyone except for Sasha backs away to give you space. Desperately searching for air, Conny runs off to get you some water to soothe your sore throat. "Don't cry yourself sick, Y/n!" Jean warns as he wipes his eyes in an attempt to hide his tears. Coughing through your tears, you manage to catch a breath only to release it slowly, shaking as Sasha pulls you back into her sad embrace. Weakly grasping the back of her jacket, your superiors watch in sorrow, turning away to give you more space as you struggle to deal with your unexpected loss.

"I think we can only let her friends take care of her." Commander Hange quietly tells Captain Levi. Nodding, Captain Levi glances back over at you while Commander Hange respectfully leaves the hallway, hoping you feel better soon. Hesitant to leave, your Captain's eyes lay on your defeated form, completely gone and in the arms of Sasha as the last of your energy goes into the mixed sobs of betrayal and anguish. The man can't begin to imagine the pain of losing your very own brother and there's nothing he can do about it. He wishes his own cadet didn't have to deal with such a tragedy when there's enough of it going around, already. Your straining cries do nothing but hurt him, as you eventually lose all your tears. He would be lying if he said he did not lose respect for Commander Nile after today. The man was responsible for destroying the family of his own cadet.

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Words: 6,629

02/03/22
Hello, again, readers! I'm so excited to finally be updating as I've had this chapter in the works forever now. I also hope your eyes are dry because I spent weeks writing this chapter and before the words actually made it onto the screen, I've been plotting this since the original version of the story but since I started this new version, its basically been brewing in my plot pot for the last few months... 😶

💃 This is only the start of angst in this story 🕺

In all seriousness, I hope you enjoyed reading and thank you for reading!

Until the next chapter!

~AlpineBreadStick