Okay, I don't know what to say and what to react. Nakonsensya pa tuloy ako sa akala kong masamang tao ang nasa harap ko.

But he said he just came here in my house to give me some food? For what?

"I saw Nanay Fely a while ago and she asks me if I can give you some food when you come home. She went here a while ago but you're not home yet."

Aling Fely does really care for me. I don't know but ever since we interacted, she immediately treated me as her child. I feel happy but still, I'm keeping a distance since I don't want to lose people again.

"Is that so? Thank you," tanging nasabi ko at inabot na ang kanina pa niyang hawak na babasaging baunan sa harap ko.

Wait. I think I saw him already. Pero saan? He looks familiar.

"No worries. Alis na ako. Ah, nga pala, ang bilin din ni Nanay Fely ay ubusin mo daw ang pagkain mo. Ayaw daw niya na nalilipasan ka ng gutom,"

Hindi ko alam pero siguro dahil sa pagod ay gusto ko nalang umiyak. I'm really feeling tired right now.

"Thank you again. Sabihin ko nalang din kay Aling Fely na nabigyan mo na ako ng pagkain. Salamat ulit," ngumiti ako sa kanya kagaya ng lagi kong ginagawa sa iba. He just waved his hand and he left.

I went inside my house and for no reason, tears stream down to my cheeks. Noon pa man, magmula pa noong namatay sila daddy at mommy, ninais ko na ring sumuko. Pagod na pagod na akong labanan ang mundo.

I always ask why do they need to die? Bakit kailangan pa silang masangkot sa trahedya? Bakit kailangan pa silang bawian ng buhay? Bakit ako lang ang nakaligtas? Bakit ba nila kasi ako niligtas?

Yes, I was with my parents when the accident happen. The thing is they did their best to protect me. Tanging mga galos lang ang natamo ko.

Pero kahit ganoon lang ang nangyari sa akin, hindi mawala sa isipan ko kung paano ako protektahan ng mga magulang ko. Ni hindi ko magawang magsalita noon. Mabuti na lamang at pagkaraan ng isang taon ay unti-unti ko nang natatanggap ang pagkawala nila.

Ate Rose helped me to accept the truth that my parents are already gone.

I stopped crying after some minute. Baliw na siguro ako dahil umiiyak nalang ako bigla bigla. Inilagay ko muna sa refrigerator ang ibinigay sa akin ng bago kong kapitbahay.

Oh, I forgot to ask his  name.

After I took some half bath and changed my clothes, I went in the kitchen to eat my late dinner. Kanina pa ako nagugutom kaya naubos ko ang ibinigay ng kapitbahay ko sa akin na pagkain.

Did he cooked this? Well if it is, he's great. Ang galing talagang kumilatis ni Aling Fely ng tao.

Maaga akong lumabas ng bahay kinaumagahan. It's the last day of our final examination. Gusto ko na rin kasing ipahinga ang utak ko pero alam kong hindi pa tapos lahat kahit ngayon ang last day ng exam. Mayroon pa kasi akong tatapusin na visual art.

"Good morning po, Nanang Mila!" Bati ko sa matanda na lagi kong nakikitang nagtitinda ng iba't-ibang klaseng gulay gamit ang kariton niya. Minsan ay sa kanya ako bumili kapag wala na akong stock ng gulay sa bahay.

"Magandang umaga rin sa'yo, hija!" Ngumiti ako sa kanya bago siya tinulungan na itulak ang kariton na naglalaman ng mga gulay niyang paninda.

"Good morning, Aling Fely!" Sigaw ko sabay kaway pa. Natawa nalang sa akin si Nanang Mila.

"Ganoon din sa'yo, Aingeal!" Bati nito sa akin pagkalapit niya.

"Nakakahawa ang ngiti nitong batang 'to," sambit ni Nanang Mila kaya tumawa na lamang ako.

"Oh siya at baka ma-late ka pa sa eskwelahan niyo Aingeal. Kami na ni Mila diyaan,"

"Sige po Nanay. Mauna na po ako sa inyo! Mag-iingat po kayo!" Tumakbo na ako palabas ng gate ng subdivision habang kumakaway sa kanilang dalawa.

Sakto lang ang dating ko sa unibersidad kaya agad akong nagpunta sa assigned room ko ngayon. Isang subject nalang ang kailangan kong tapusin ngayon.

Maybe I can go home before eleven. Late na rin kasi akong natulog kagabi dahil nag review pa ako ulit.

"Here comes the scholar," I heard some of my classmates whisper to each other. I'm already used to them but that doesn't mean I'm not hurting with their words. Sometimes they go beyond the border but all I can do is to stay silent and leave the room.

"Feeling maganda, scholar lang naman." Someone commented but still, I ignore it.

It all started when one of our professor asks me to help her in her office to sort some files so I agreed. And then our librarian told me to help her too in the library after my class.

My classmates found out that's why they started calling me scholar, teacher's pet, and even an obsequious person. What worst is they looking so lowly to me. At first, I said that I don't care about it. But when you really experience that, it'll be so hard to swallow every words they're saying.

Some boys also tried to woo me but I didn't give them any attention.

I ignored them and went to my desk. Mabuti na lamang at agad dumating ang instructor namin.

I immediately went home after my exam. Napilitan pa tuloy akong mag-taxi dahil inaantok na talaga ako.

Pagkarating sa bahay ay agad akong humilata sa kama ko kahit hindi pa ako nakapagpapalit ng damit.

Multiple loud bangs heard. A sound of drifting car and screams. There's a sound of planes too.

“Mommy! Daddy!”

Cries and begging. I can hear all of them again.

Scenes drifted to another scene. My mother is hugging me so tight.

“No matter what happens, just stay here. Don't leave this place. Do you understand, Aingeal?” I nodded multiple times like an obedient child.

“Will you be back, Mom?”

“Of course, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy will be back.”

The assurance they're telling me everytime they go out of the country.

But the sweet smile of my mother vanish when a suddenly a big explosion occurred.

“Mom!”

I woke up panting heavily. Kinapa ko ng pisngi ko at may bakas ng luha doon. Hindi ko muling napigilan ang pag-iyak ko.

I rested my forehead in my arms that's hugging my knees. There, I let out the emotion I always try to conceal to everyone.

I'm always like this whenever I dreamed about it.

How could life be this cruel to me? Masaya kami noon eh. Simple lang na pamilya. Pero bakit kailangan pang mangyari iyon? Bakit kailangan pa nilang mawala?

Do I deserve to be alone in life?