It was hard to forget some things ...even if you do have memory loss...

It's hard to forget that your past self has allowed you to stay in this stupid fucking marriage .

"Rey ? Please ?" Ben banged on the door of their room. She turned her back to the door and curled herself in the warm play blankets .

"Come on Rey ! I want to talk!" He shouted again. "Rey please !"

She turned her body further . She felt her eyes grow heavy and then she allowed the sleep to consume her .

*[*]*

Morning ... Morning time ... She felt dizzy and her mouth was dry and cracked from her crying. She slipped out of bed and walked to the kitchen, desperate for water .

She saw the trash can ... It was filled with full bottles of alcohol and cartons of cigarettes. He threw it all out.

She grabbed her glass of water and heard music . She followed it down the halls to the music room.

Ben sat at her baby grand. His hands laying on the keys and playing a simple tune.

"I am damaged, far too damaged,
But you're not beyond repair.
Stick around here,
Make things better
'Cause you beat me fair and square" he sang softly . He looked up to see Rey standing in the door way.

"Please stand back now
'Little further.
Don't know what this thing will do.
Hope you'll miss me.
Wish you'd kiss me
Then you'd know I worship you.
I'll trade my life for yours." Rey could see the bags under his eyes ... He had been up all night .

"And once I disappear,
Clean up the mess down here." He played on the piano , refusing to meet her gaze

"Our love is God
Our love is God
Our love is God
Our love is God
Our love is God" he repeated the music and lyrics until she finally said something .

"Say hi to God" Rey said still in the doorway.

He sighed and then rolled his shoulders back to crack them .

Rey sat down on the piano bench next to him and began to play on the keys .

Ben recognized it immediately... It was their wedding song . She was just playing the melody on the keys ... She wasn't singing just humming softly .

Rey then stopped and looked at him "I don't remember the rest" she sighed rubbing a hand on her head . Ben put his hands on hers and helped her finish the song .

This was one of the few songs he could play but he knew how much she loved it and so he learned it ... And as a wedding gift when doing his vows instead of talking he played her the song and she cried tears of joy at her husband .

He looked at her , sometimes she knew the next few notes then other times he had to help her .

Their fingers brushed often and their legs were touching since the bench was so small.

They finished the song and she looked at him . He took a long gaze at her .

"I've been so stupid" he said . He then took a deep breath . "I've lied to you ... And hurt you and cheated on you ... I've got totally wasted ... But I can say this Rey ... I never ever wanted to hurt you ... I never had sex with another women ... I never stopped loving you"

"How come your last words to me was that I'll never be anything more than a trophy wife ?"

"Because I was angry... I was made ... You were leaving me -"

"How was I leaving you" she asked .

"You ... You were making a name for yourself ... You were out there singing and working on albums ... Your career was about to start and I didn't want to lose you"

"How would you have lost me ?"

"Rey ... You were going to do new things ... Go new places and meet new people ... Eventually you would find someone better than me ... Someone who treated you better and was worthy of you and you would leave me -"

"Ben ? Why did you want to marry me so fast?"

"I saw you smile that one time at the diner , when this little old man forgot to give his tip... You told him it was no big deal and he tried to make that it was ... You told him that you'd be fine with or without his money ... He handed you a twenty and as soon as he was out of sight you walked out to these teens ...a boy and his little sister ... You handed them the twenty and told them to go find someone warm to be for the night ... They tried to give you the twenty but you wouldn't allow it... I heard Plutt say something that you needed the money and you were an idiot for giving it to those kids ... Later when Plutt made another comment about you needing the money you said that they needed it more and then smiled when you saw the brother and sister hug each other ... When I saw your smile ... I saw your beautiful white teeth and plush pink lips ... I fell in love with your smile first ... Then your heart ... Then ... However stupid anyone could be ... I fell in love with your name "

"My name ?"

"Rey ... I made some comment about your name and you rolled your eyes ... I asked if you wanted your last name to be Solo and you said maybe ... I smiled and couldn't stop thinking about Rey Solo"

"Ben ... Did you think I would leave you?"

"Rey ... You're so young ... I mean I don't know any 19 year old who is married unless she's pregnant-"

"Ben ... I must have loved you too in order to say I do ... I mean I know I was broke but I wouldn't marry someone for their money... I think that I did love -" Ben then pressed his lips on hers .

-A.N.-
It pisses me off that you guys don't comment ... Guys ... Writing this isn't easy ... So please start to comment ... Cuz I know that I try to comment on every single chapter ... It makes it better for the writer to get comments ... Okay !

-Joey