It took lots, if I'm going to be blunt. Elliot worked on Carl with all the diligence and seriousness that I've come to notice about him whenever it comes to his work. Rick disappeared out the door as soon as Carl was on a bed, Michonne running after him. Where they went, I don't know.

I sit on the porch, looking down the road as the sun kisses the treetops with its warmth. I can hear Aaron and Eric chatting softly inside. Elliot is probably checking on Carl.

The door swings open and Daryl comes out, Theo cradled in the crook of his arm. He gives me the barest trace of a smile as he walks to my side, letting out a long breath.

"Where d'you think they went?" he asks, patting Theo's back rhythmically as he speaks.

I shake my head. "Back to Alexandria, I suppose? Maybe he wanted to find the others."

We fall silent, listening to the musical choir of nature. Theo smacks his lips in his sleep every now and then, his tiny hands grasping Daryl's jacket.

My mind wanders, instantly finding grip in thoughts of my group. There's so many people that could be dead for all we know, and yet I don't necessarily feel...sad. I've always been more of a glass half full person; get the news, have a good cry, and then offer sympathy to others. Somewhere along the line, I numbed myself to pain. It's like I just haven't experienced it like others have.

"Hope, what're you thinkin' about?" Daryl asks.

I shut my eyes. "The fact that I'm numb."

"Numb?"

"Like...I just don't feel anything. The loss has become such a normal thing that I just don't feel it anymore."

He doesn't answer for a moment. He lets out a long breath, stepping closer to me and pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek. "I guess it's better than feelin' everything, right?"

I can only bring myself to shrug.

----------

It must be hours that we spend just wandering around the immediate area, watching the sun get higher and higher in the sky as we go about mundane tasks. Eric and Aaron make lunch out of the cans we scrounged up, I take more pictures for my photo album, and Daryl goes out with his replacement crossbow to try hunting. Elliot keeps tabs on Carl, all the while watching for Rick's return.

"Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be where I was, right there, right next to you," I sing softly, rocking Theo gently as he starts to fall asleep. "And it's hard. The days just seem so dark The moon and the stars are nothing without you..."

I hear the nearby trees crackling and I stop rather abruptly. I shift Theo to one arm as I rest my hand on the hilt of my knife, watching the forest warily.

Daryl emerges with his crossbow in hand, giving me a quick wave. I relax and return both arms to holding Theo as I watch my husband emerge from the thick trees, giving a quick nod to the spot behind him. My eyes widen with hope, a wave of relief washing over me when I see Michonne and Rick following behind them with Glenn and Maggie in tow. Michonne has Judith in her arms.

I have to do a double take when I see Glenn. All my thoughts of his death and the grieving I let myself do seem redundant in the best way.

No one else comes out of the trees, making my moment of happiness end. That's all...everyone else is on the run or dead.

"Elliot, Aaron, Eric," I call over my shoulder towards the slightly ajar door. "We've got company."

Lightning wiggles out the door space as I hear footsteps approaching from within. She barks and gallops towards the oncoming group, all of them looking exhausted. Daryl pats her head sparingly as he keeps going.

"Rick? Guys?" Elliot asks as he exits the house.

"What's it like back there?" Aaron wonders aloud.

"A massacre," Rick answers, his voice deadpan. "Carl?"

"Alive and recovering quickly," Elliot answers. Rick goes to brush past him, but the African-American grabs his bicep and stops him. "What about the others? Deanna? Carol? Denise?"

"Dead," the once-Sheriff utters, pulling his arm away and entering the house.

Elliot's face falls, looking hurt by the brashness of his response. Michonne heads up the stairs and gives him a sparing smile, adjusting Judith as the little girl sleeps against her shoulder.

"They're more gone than dead...Alexandria was pretty much deserted," she tells him, although it feels more like she's talking to all of us.

Daryl glances sideways at Glenn. "You still a tough son of a bitch, huh?"

The Korean lets out a long breath as he shrugs. "Guess so. Can't let just anything kill me."

Maggie just nods, looking like she's teetering on the edge of sleep. I give her a quick smile as Glenn passes us, helping her in. Michonne gestures to the door, an offer that the rest of us accept. We get inside the building and shut the door, leaving us to look over the remainder of our group.

"Daryl?" I ask as he sets his crossbow down. "You mind taking Theo? I want to check on Carl."

He nods, giving a short grunt as a response as he takes the sleeping bundle from my arms. He walks over to Glenn and Maggie, who're resting on the couch. Maggie asks him something, to which he responds with a nod and hands Theo over to her. It's nice to see her holding a baby again.

I head towards Carl's room, the soft glow of the candles we lit making the space seem very cozy. As I get nearer, I can hear Rick speaking to his son softly.

"I think about the road ahead of us, and for the first time it seems long...and bright. After everything we've been through, all the people we've lost..." He pauses. I peek through the crack in the door, seeing him holding Carl's hand as the boy sleeps. "We're still surviving, Carl. We still have people. I...I find myself overcome with something I thought we'd lost...hope. We can make it, Carl. I know we can."

I smile a tiny bit. Rick exhales as I knock on the door. His head shoots up and he gets to his feet, moving to the door. He pulls it open, giving me a look that's emotional, but bordering on vacant. I settle a pleasant look on my face.

"Hey Rick," I say. "How're you handling things?"

He steps aside and offers me a spot in the room without saying a word. I accept, walking in and giving Carl's sleeping form a long look. Rick crosses his arms over his chest as he leans against the door.

"In a few days, we need to get moving," he says.

I glance over my shoulder. "Already?"

He scratches his growing stubble, his blue eyes flickering to a spot on the wall. "There's gotta be more around. If we keep going, we have a chance of finding more of our people."

I purse my lips. "You're the boss."

He looks to me, as if he's scrutinizing my appearance and trying to read my thoughts. I turn my attention back to Carl, lifting his hand and checking his pulse. I count the thrums, distracting myself.

"You've been distant, Hope," he comments.

"Have I?" I ask.

"Ever since Alexandria...you just weren't around as much. Is there something going on?"

I shake my head as I turn to face him. "I guess I just fell into the rhythm of being the pregnant housewife. When I tried to get more involved, it was stressful. It was better for me to detach." I sigh. "And...if I'm being honest, I didn't feel like I was following you anymore."

He ponders my words for a second. "Oh?"

"It's not like you think. I followed the Rick that helped me back in Atlanta, the man who had integrity and honour," I say. "This new you...you aren't the same."

"None of us are."

"I know, but I like to believe that there's the man you used to be in there somewhere." I gesture loosely to him. "The man who said we don't kill the living."

He purses his lips. "I see now that we need numbers, people...other people. We can't stick to our own forever."

"What made you realize that?"

He gives me a serious look, staring me right in the eyes. "Elliot saved Carl. I'm not sure you could've done the same thing."

"You're right. I couldn't have. I'm not skilled enough." I tilt my head as I scratch my nose. "Do...do you think we can get back to that old way after everything that's happened?"

"We can always try."

There's silence. Carl takes a particularly long breath in his sleep, shifting as his head rolls to the side a little. I reach over and brush some of his shaggy hair from his eyes.

"Well, I still want to follow you, Rick," I admit. "It's like I said back before the prison. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm not leaving, and I'll follow you."

I see him smile for what feels like the first time in far too long. "Thank you, Hope."