It feels like years pass just waiting for Daryl to return home. Theo keeps me busy enough, plus Elliot and Lightning stop by lots and help out. It's nice having a friend around, but the fact that Daryl hasn't even met his son yet worries me to no end.

I sit on my bed with Theo snoozing in my lap, his tiny lips moving gently as he sucks on his pacifier. He's starting to get darker hair on his head now, letting me know that he's probably going to look more like Daryl than me. I smile to myself, imagining a happy blue-eyed boy running alongside Daryl with a grin on his face.

My smile falters for a moment as I get a small glimpse of a memory, like something I've long forgotten. I've seen another boy with blue eyes like Daryl's, but I can't place it. I shake my head and look back at the project at my fingertips.

I made use of the camera I got when we first arrived at Alexandria, little pictures littering my bed. There's pictures of Daryl, the other people of Alexandria, my group, and Theo. Should this apocalypse ever end, it'd be nice to have something to look back on and to show Theo once he's older.

If he even lives that long.

My gut clenches and I shake my head, trying to get a grip. I can't think negatively right now.

My fingers brush along some of the newer photos, and I realize that a lot of them are of me. My face softens a little as I lift them up, flipping through the stack quietly. Most of them are from before too far ahead in my pregnancy, days where I could still move around rather freely without my back aching and such. There's me in the kitchen attempting to make dinner, me reading in the living room, me with Buttons and Lightning at Buttons' paddock.

Daryl must've taken these without my knowledge. I must admit, it's weird to see myself this way. I look like I'm at peace, like I'm just another normal woman living my life. From these pictures, it doesn't look like I'm in the sort of situation where every day is a fight for survival. I just look...happy.

Theo stirs, his little hands waving in the air as he coughs a little. His pacifier falls from his lips as a few weak cries leave his lips. I instantly set the photos down and lift him from my lap, cradling him against my chest.

"Ssh...ssh..." I murmur, rocking him gently. "Are you hungry again, sweetie?"

He sneezes, his eyes growing wide at the noise. I laugh at his adorably confused expression, his big blue eyes slowly moving to me again. I get up carefully, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He fusses a little more, his tiny feet kicking lightly.

"Okay, time for dinner then," I whisper.

---------

Theo drinks readily from beneath the blanket I've draped over myself. I'm still getting used to breast-feeding, but it's becoming more natural every day. Besides, I've been told by multiple women around here that using the formula in a bottle wouldn't be as clean as the natural way.

A yawn lifts my frame for a moment, my eyes watering slightly with the action. I've been working a single mom shift ever since Daryl left, meaning my amount of sleep at night rarely surpasses five hours. Theo does sleep rather soundly, but like all babies, he never sleeps for very long intervals.

Thank goodness Elliot comes by to pick up on day shifts so I can catch up on my sleep.

I've been feeling rather guilty lately, mainly because I haven't been paying attention to the events of Alexandria or the people as much anymore. The only person I converse with on a daily basis is Elliot, although Aaron comes by with Eric sometimes, so does Carl. Everyone else seems to distance themselves from me.

I glance towards the front of town, where I know that there's a herd of walkers blocking us from the outside world. How we're going to fight past it, I really don't know. I don't know a lot about anything nowadays.

I feel more and more detached from my group every day. Rick is too engaged with Morgan and everything to stop by. The only time I ever see Carol is when she stops by with a meal or something to help me keep my health, and even then, it's like I don't even recognize her anymore. Sasha and Abraham are with Daryl, and even when they're back we don't talk. Tara, Eugene, and Rosita have their own jobs.

The only people I see regularly are Elliot, Aaron, and Carl. That's it. As I said before, everyone is distancing themselves.

For a moment, I almost wish we were back out on the road. It was a grittier fight for survival out there, sure, but at least we were close-knit with one another. I miss the family I had back at the prison, and more than ever, I miss the people we've lost.

Beth would've loved to help me with Theo. Tyreese probably would've taken a shift or two, taking him around Alexandria and pointing to all the pretty things that there are to see. Heck...maybe Dale or Hershel would've wanted to play the grandpa cards, or I could go for a stroll with T-dog and Glenn and we could just...talk. Maybe Noah would've joined in.

Theo coughs a little and I jolt out my dream world, noticing the dampness on my face. I was crying and I didn't even realize.

I shift, carefully resting Theo on my lap while I pull my bra and shirt back into place. My son is back in my arms in an instant, his little face already drooping with sleepiness.

I kiss his little forehead, looking towards the window. Everything seems peaceful, the sun shining and the wind rustling the tree branches. I smile a tiny bit as I wipe my face again.

A loud cracking sound splits through the air, shattering the veil of piece. I gasp and get to my feet, Theo squirming a little at the movement. I look out my window towards the entrance of town, my heart freezing as I witness one of the guard towers toppling to the ground and taking a section of the wall with it.