~10 years later~ (sexual stuff incoming)

I told Lovi that I could be responsible and independent. A partial lie.

I mean, it's New Year's eve, I'm sure he expects me to drink. It's a night of celebration after all. He's probably drinking right now too. Hell, he's probably drunk and the countdown hasn't even started. It's funny.

I, myself, may just be bordering drunk. I'm not the only one. I'm at a bar for God's sake I'm definitely not the only drunk or bordering on drunk. It's fun! Thrilling even. I'm in a room with a bunch of strangers who are here for the same reason. Simple fun to celebrate making it this far.

It's kind of weird though, I think I was worried about something when I came here. I can't quite remember what it was.

"It's a little strange to sit here in the corner of a crowded bar don't you think?" A man sat down on the stool next to me. It took me a second to process him being there. He seemed tall. Pale, with white hair that only made him look a bit bald. It worked but the idea sounded kind of funny. His red eyes were quite interesting though. A big contrast.

"Not like I have friends." I gave a crooked smile. Maybe I am drunk.

"Even stranger." He swayed a meaning he probably drank as much as I have. He had a bit of an accent too. German I think.

"You're silly yourself with all white and lizard eyes."

He laughed. "That's a new one."

"What?"

"I've been called marble eyes, the devil, inverted human, but never lizard eyes."

"Who do you talk to?"

"People as strange as you."

"You like strange?"

"I'm strange myself so, of course."

"Makes sense." This man was fun. We both just smiled at each other for a moment in amusement with each other. There was this wave of something that hit me while looking at him.

He was attractive. Perfectly sculpted, young. From the way his button up fit him, he seemed fit too. I licked my lips.

"Want to get out of here?" I simply nodded eagerly in response.

We left quickly.

Without much thought, I lead him to my apartment. I don't remember the walk there. All I remember is the door shutting and how desperately we gripped each other.

Another wave of that feeling came to me. My mind was sure as hell foggy but I could clearly click things together. Lust. God, am I desperate.

Ripping off his clothes seemed like a great idea. A much faster way to get the pesky barrier off. My thoughts weren't blank when he gripped my hips and grinded onto me. It felt like nothing else. And soon enough, we were both desperate to keep it up all while trying our best to remove the ever so irritating clothing.

While catching for breath, my head decided to clear up again reminding me that I was yearning for something else entirely. My chest ached for a few seconds. The thought leaving me as quickly as it came due to a sensational thrust.

God, we need to hurry. He seemed to be thinking the same thing as he stopped his thrusts and completely pulled back. "Bedroom." Was all he mumbled and with out a thought I pulled him to it.

We practically fell onto the bed. Our clothes suddenly all gone. An amazing thing but I must be drunk as all hell if I keep blacking out ever so slightly. It's probably just all too much. Such a depressing year to end off with an exhilarating bang. Such hard work to make a life of my own for once. Such loneliness and desperation building up with each passing day.

I said I would be independent. This is being independent although not responsible. Sure, having sex with a man I met at a bar and don't know anything about is irresponsible and near dangerous. It's the best thing to happen to me in years. And hardly anything has happened in years.

Who knows, maybe I'll see him again. He could be my soulmate. Hell if I know. Hell if I care. All I care to know is that I deserve this.

I deserve every last second of this.