iv.

mick's house is exactly how you remember it used to be. the same colour. the same gravel road that leads to the house. the same front yard with a little garden on the left (but with few new different flowers and trees). corinna or gina might have traded their old cars but other than those, nothing really changed.

     as you slowly pull your car in front of the house, you see gina at their front porch, reading while her dog roger is chasing the butterflies away.

     "thank you for the coffee," you tell mick. "i appreciate it. truly."

     mick can be considered as an old face to your brain, but it definitely feels new every time your eyes laid on him. and though it's not your first time to talk to mick as if he's a new friend, but it's your first time since the distance.  it feels as if the universe is healing.

     "i--i really enjoyed your presence." mick scratches the back of his head absent-mindedly. "i--i think we should do it again."

     "you think?" you raise your eyebrow, spontenous giving him a flirty smile.

     "no. we should do it again."

     you knew that seeing mick's smile will be the death of you. you know that your answer will always be a yes for mick even though you thought there's no chance between you. but there's nothing wrong with trying, right? plus, mick seems like he has changed since he dated justine. maybe the distance and his busy life changed him too.

     for the first time since your father fell sick, you found someone to talk to and someone who could make you happy. finally, you found your happiness, right? wrong! because just as when you thought you finally found your happiness, a thought about your father crosses your mind. you've been neglecting him for hours now. he could be sulking now at home because you've been neglecting him. another reason for him to hate you.

     "i don't know, mick."

     mick's smile fades when he sees your face falls. "you're worried about your father, aren't you?"

     your eyes instantly water and it breaks mick's heart. the catherine mick knows was always smiling. she was always laughing. she will always be the one with stupid jokes. she's the one who would cheer people up when they're sad.

     good thing after years of traveling for work, having more friends than ever in the f1 academy and work with hundreds of crews, taught him more than he could ask for that now he knows how to deal with a crying girl.

     "is that why you've been distancing yourself from me?" though mick didn't ask about your father but you bet his mum must've told him what happened. after all, you, gina and corinna are still talking to each other when mick is not around.

     "no."

     mick raises his eyebrows. "are you sure?"

     "maybe."

     "why else?"

     "well, isn't it obvious?" you almost raise your voice. "that you're always busy and constantly traveling. meanwhile i'm here struggling with double hours and taking care of my father that i barely had time for anything."

     "aren't you an engineer?"

     "were," you correct him. "i have to leave them behind, mick. right when my father was officially diagnosed with alzheimer's. i came back home. and i'm now a barista." you lift up a logo on the left side of your uniform.

     will mick sound selfish and heartless if he said that he doesn't understand you comparing your life and his right now? because all he thinks right now is how good you got your life together. yes, you might need to step down a lot but mick thinks it's beautiful because you do it for your father. and instead of being a drug dealer, you managed to get a nice job. what's bad about all these?

     plus, what mick wished he could say is how prettier you've gotten since the last time he saw you. he can't figure out if it's because of how mature you look now or how strong you've become. and he's angry at him for not seeing you sooner.

     "why don't you come to my house with your father next week? i'm sure seb misses both of you, too."

     "i don't know, mic. will seb be okay with my father there? will you be okay? plus, he doesn't remember anyone anymore, mick. he doesn't even remember me."

     mick have this urge to convince to you come until eventually you will say yes, but decided not to because he doesn't want to be called desperate. "but this isn't going to be the last time we ever see each other, okay? i'll see you tomorrow. at your house. i want to see your father. i don't care if he doesn't remember me. i still want to see him."

     "no, mick. you don't have to--"

     "maybe i'll bring gina along. we'll see." mick hops out of the car. "bye."

     you watch as mick opens the back car door and whistles to augustine. as soon as mick and augustine step foot onto their frontyard, roger barks happily at them as if announcing to the people who live there that mick and augustine are back from the park. gina puts down her book and looks up. she smiles brightly as soon as she recognises it's you in the car and waves at you. you wave back, returning home.