All my extra time I spent was with Fin. She made sure I didn't see Joshua or didn't see Drew. She made sure I was okay. But most of all, she reminded me that I had people fighting for me. I always fought my battles alone, but she kept riding on horseback to save the day.

"Your hand is looking better," Fin said after inspecting it. "In a couple more days, the bruise will go away. Is this the one you burned?"

"Yeah." I bent it and winced when a sharp pain raced through it. "Did you see his black eye?"

"Yeah." Fin looked impressed. "I can't believe you did that. Little Miss Rule Follower actually punched someone."

"I honestly wish I didn't do it," I muttered. "People keep badgering him about what happened, and he just keeps lying to them."

"He could've pressed charges, you know," Fin said, nodding. "You are eighteen."

"I don't think he'd do that," I said, closing my eyes. Drew appeared in my mind with his signature look. "He doesn't want to hurt me."

"Well, look what he did," Fin said angrily. "He broke your heart just because he wanted to kiss you!"

"I should've told Joshua," I said, ignoring her. "I was going to. But I lost my nerve, and he found out the hard way."

"This is not your fault." I gave her a look and she laughed. "Okay, this is partly your fault. But Drew shouldn't have said it to him."

"He would've known if I told him."

"Stop pitying yourself," Finlay said angrily. Her hands gripped mine. "I know your heart is broken, but you gotta snap out of it."

I sighed, laying down on her bed. Covering my eyes, I said, "It hurts, Fin. So bad. In math, he doesn't even look at me!"

"His loss."

"I told him I loved him, Fin!" I said, sitting up. She stared at me so I continued. "When he was upset at me, I told him I loved him."

"Seriously?" She leaned forward and said, "Did you mean it?"

"I have no idea." I shrugged, fighting the urge to cry. "All I know is that I'm devastated."

She sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I've been through this, remember? It'll be fine. Now, what do you want to do? Because this conversation has gotten old."

I shrugged. "You come up with it."

"No." She shook her head. "You choose."

I closed my eyes, wishing he would leave my mind for just one second. He was always there, imprinted into my mind's eye. I nearly burst into tears when the Joshua in my mind smiled at me. It hurt so bad seeing him there.

"Can we watch a movie?" I asked instead of saying what I really want.

"Yeah. What were you thinking?"

As I answered, I glanced out the window, and my breath got caught in my throat. Joshua was sitting in his bedroom, staring right at me. Our eyes locked. I thought I was going to pass out; my heart was racing so freaking fast, as if I had run a thousand miles.

He looked like he did when I left him in his car. His hair was mussed up like he kept running his hands through it. Mouth in a thin line, he lifted a hand in acknowledgement.

"I have it here somewhere," Fin said, not paying attention to me or Joshua at all.

I waved to him, and his lips rose slightly. Why would he do that? Wasn't he hurting like I was? I turned away from him, rubbing my forehead. I couldn't believe I let someone hurt me like that. Didn't I learn the hard way with my dad?

"Let me look downstairs for it," Finlay said, drawing my attention to her again.

"Okay."

She left the room, and I risked a look out the window. He was looking at me with an expression I didn't really know. He gestured to the window, and I sighed, standing up. I unlatched it and opened it slightly.

"What do you want?"

A frown graced his face before turning into his passive face. "Are you okay?"

I barked a laugh. "Not really. You?"

"No."

Thundering feet on the stairs alerted me that Fin was coming. I quickly shut her window and leaped on her bed. She looked triumphant when she entered her room. She was about to say something when Rachel yelled, "Fin, did you forget to take your medicine today?"

Fin's face paled, and I frowned. She dropped the movie onto her bed and sprinted downstairs before I could question her. What medicine? She never took any type of medicine, whether it be for allergies or vitamins. She didn't need any of that.

What wasn't she telling me?

"Sorry about that," she said as she entered her room again. She slammed her door shut. "I found the movie."

"Good." I glanced at her and found a nervous look on her face. Her hands were shaking slightly. "What medicine did you have to take?"

She sighed. Something was different about her, and that scared me. "Over Christmas break, Dad took me to see a psychiatrist."

"And?" I asked. "That's good, Fin."

"Yeah." She nodded. "It is good. But I got diagnosed with Bipolar II."

I frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It's the milder form of Bipolar I. My moods cycle from low to high during a range of times. However, I usually just suffer from episodes of depression, as seen by the last few weeks." It sounded like she was reciting a pamphlet about the mental illness.

She looked scared that she said that. I had no idea why she was scared. This illness didn't define her. "Hey, you're still you," I said, taking her hands in mine. "This just adds many more layers to the woman I'm proud to call my best friend."

She smiled a shaky smile and pulled me into a hug. "Thanks," she whispered. She glanced at her window and frowned. It got darker when she shoved her blinds shut. "He needs to know that you're not going to run back to him."

I didn't know about that. I wanted to jump out of her window into his warm arms. But I was the one who hurt him, so it wasn't up to me.

"Scoot over, Gracie," Fin said, standing at the end of her bed.

I leaned against the wall and she sat next to me. Green and blue flashed in my eyes, but I wasn't paying attention. It was hard to do that lately.