----Chapter 35----

Here we go..

This Chapter is full of emotions... Different chapter..

Hope you will love it

Sanjana Pov:

"lab dab lab dab" what the hell happened just now? He kissed you, simple. my inner voice countered. God!! my heart is going to explode. I held my heart to control my the beat. I closed the door behind me and walked towards the bed. I never expected this from him. What is he doing to me? How am I supposed to feel now? I moved my fingers against my lower lip. I can still feel his smell and his touch. I walked towards the mirror and found myself in red. God!! What happened to my face? I looked like a red tomato. My lips were swollen a bit. I bit my low lip thinking about what happened a while ago. I went back to the bed and laid on it. 

Then it stuck me that it was my first kiss. A small blush smile creeps onto my face. I don't know how am I going to face him from tomorrow. Between, what made him to kiss me all of a sudden? 

"I forbid you from meeting him. I don't want you to talk with him. I don't want you to work with him" his words were ringing in my head. My possessive crazy husband.. His jealousy even made him to kiss me. I was in my thoughts and suddenly I heard a door click sound. God!! Sid is coming. I decided to close my eyes and pretend to sleep. I covered myself with the blanket and closed my eyes tightly. I felt the him on the other side of the bed. And then I felt his fingers on my cheeks. God!! What is he doing? 

"I know you're not sleeping" he said and my eyes popped out from it's sockets. I gasped a little as he was so close to me. He was looking at me with a small smile. What's running in his brain? I felt his soft fingers on my cheeks. God!! His touch is enough to make me all crazy. He tugged my hairs behind my ears and looked straight into my eyes. My cheeks might have got painted with a natural color.  His eyes traveled down to my lips and he leaned little more close to me. He was literally hovering over me with all his weight. Immediately, I closed my eyes as I know what he is planning to do next. I was expecting a kiss on my lips but his lips landed on my forehead. I opened my eyes and he was smiling playfully. His eyes showing some emotions but he tried hard to cover them.

"Don't get scared, Sanj" his words brought me back to the present. I blinked my eyes and pushed him a little. I didn't find any words to say because my feelings are not in my control. I turned to the other side and closed my eyes.

"Good night, love" I heard his voice after a second. Wait!! What did he just said now? Immediately, I turned towards his side and he raised his eye brows.

"Come again" I asked looking straight into his eyes.

"I heard something which is unfamiliar to me. So please repeat your words" I said hoping what I heard was right.

"I said Good night, Sanj.. What's unfamiliar in this?" I heard his voice and it broke my heart. Did I hear it wrong? I thought he called me love. I released a heavy sigh and decided to leave this topic.

"Good Night!!" I said and turned to the other side facing my back to him.

Sidharth Pov:

God!! I cursed myself for not having control on my tongue. How can you address her like this? I don't even realized that I addressed as my love. This was the second time. I called her like that. Do I really love her? Yeah, I feel jealous when other man looks or talk to her but I don't know about love. I know she has a very special place in my heart but the thing am I capable of loving again?

Am I?

I lost my love once and from that moment I never thought about it but this marriage changed me. I even don't know when she became so important to me. Yes, I gave this marriage a chance but there is some fear in me. What if I lost her to some other person? Do my heart really want to love her?

"Switch off the lights, Sid" I heard her husky voice breaking my stream of thoughts. I switched off the lights immediately and decided to give a break to my thoughts. I want to leave this to density. I laid on the bed and rested my hand on her waist. She was looking so beautiful under the moon light. I kissed her forehead and pulled her into my arms. Having her in my arms is the best feeling ever.

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I woke up when I heard some whispers. I looked at my side and I saw Sanj shivering. God!! What happened to her? She was mumbling something in her sleep and I saw fresh tears coming out from her eyes. She is having a nightmare. I guess. I checked her temperature and she is burning like hell. I took her into arms and tried to console her.

"Sanj!! It's just a nightmare. Please open your eyes" I pleaded her. I don't know why but her tears make me weak. I never saw her like this.

"Mom... mom.. come back to us.....i..miss..you" she is saying this continuously. I held her hands gently and started massaging. I decided to call the doctor. I took my phone and dialed to Kiara. She is one of my friend who lives in our neighbour hood. I know she is a Psychiatrist but she can at least check her condition and help me.

"Kiara!! I need your help. I know it's very late but please come to home. My wife is burning" I said and I could feel a gulp in my throat.

"Hey Sid!! Don't worry. I'll be there soon. Till then take care of her" she said and hung the call. You are scaring me, Sanj. Please open your eyes for once. Soon, Kaira came and checked her condition.

"Hey!! it's nothing Sid. She is having a panic attack. But tell me one thing, did she gone into any depression or any shock? Because the symptoms are like that. I don't think this is the first time" Kaira said shocking me. Depression? No chance. She is active always. Then it stuck me that I saw those antidepressants pills in her room.

"I don't know Kaira. But I saw some antidepressants pills in her room" I said and she nodded.

"Okay, take care of her now. I'll meet her tomorrow.. And give her these medicines when you find the temperature is still high" she said.

"Thanks for coming. I'm grateful that you are my friend" I said.

"No problem, Sid. Just take care. Call me when she is up" she said and I nodded. I bid her bye and ran back to our room. I walked towards the bed and sat leaning on the headboard. I took her into my arms and placed her head on my chest.

"Wake up, Sanj. I can't see you like this" I said and kissed her forehead. Kaira's words are still echoing in my ears.

"What are you hiding from me, Sanj? What's the reason for your depression? Why didn't you share with me?huh?"

I didn't sleep the whole night. I just want her to open her eyes. Her temperature is normal but I don't know why she is not opening her eyes. She is literally scaring me. I removed the freely falling strands from her face and tugged them behind her ears. I felt her grip on my collar got tightened.

"Sanj, are you okay?" I asked slowly caressing her cheeks. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me.

"You're fine right" I asked but she didn't respond. She was looking at me without any emotion. She moved away from me and removed the covers. What is she doing? She was about to get up but couldn't. She is so weak.

"What do you want? I'll help you out. You are so weak" I said trying to convince her.

"I want to wash my face" she said slowly getting all her strength. I scooped her up in bridal style and took her to the washroom.

"Listen, complete your business and wait for me here. I'll go and get some food for you. Understand?" I asked and she nodded her head obediently. I went down and boiled some milk and toasted some bread. I went back to my room with food and I didn't find her.

"Sanj!!" I called her name out walking towards the washroom. I knocked the door but there is no response. To my surprise, the door was opened. Where did she went? Ahh... why is she so reckless? I placed the food on the night stand and went to the balcony. I saw her room door was opened. I walked towards the room and I saw her holding a photo frame.

"Sanj!!" I called her and she turned towards me.

"What are you doing here? I told you to not to move right? They why are you straining yourself?" I asked walking towards her.

"I'm fine" she said trying to smile.

"What's the photo?" I asked.

"Nothing. Just a family pic. I'm hungry. I want to eat something" she said but her eyes are saying a different story. She is in hurt. I can read from her eyes. But why is she not sharing with me? Even when she is not ready to share. I'll find out what's bothering her. I took her to our room and made her eat some food.

"Thanks for taking care of me" she said and I smiled.

"You have no idea, I was so worried" I said and kissed her forehead. I took my phone and dialed to Kiara and asked her to come.

"What are you hiding from me Sanj?" I asked as I can't take it to my heart. She raised her eye brows to which I smiled.

"From when are you suffering from depression? Why are you using antidepressants?" I asked. She looked at me with her wide eyes open. And they looked down.

"What are you talking? I'm not in depression for god sake. Please stop talking like a mad man" she said and got up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Don't bother me, okay. Give me some space" she said giving me a shock and left the place. What the hell is she talking? 

Sanjana Pov:

How did he know that I'm in depression. God, why are you doing this? I don't want to sound weak in front of him. I don't want him to know about my past. I thought. I was standing near the balcony window. I heard someone's voice.

"Ahem!!" It was Sid, again. What the hell is wrong with him? Why don't he get that I need some space ?

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"Behave okay. What the hell are you thinking about me? huh? I know everything about your depression and all" he said throwing a bunch of papers on my face. God!! those are my reports.

"I wanted to help you out but look at you. You are making it difficult for me" he shouted. Where did he got all those reports? He must have searched in my room.

"What the fuck? huh? How can you go and throw a search party in my room? You don't have any right to touch my things. Please don't bother me" I yelled at him. This is the first time I shouted like this, I guess. My hands are shaking and my chest is raising and falling because of the breathe. I picked up the papers from the floor and started walking to my room. Suddenly, I felt a strong grip on my hands making the reports to fall again.

"You...." I shouted and he pulled me towards him.

"Yeah.. Me.. Your husband" he whispered slowly in my ears and licked the earlobe sending shivers down my spine. I tried to wringle but he held me so tightly.

"What did you say? huh?" he asked pinning me to a wall near me.

"Leave me, Sid" I yelled controlling my heart.

"Never ever. I'll never leave you. Get that to your head. Now first answer me, don't I have any right on you?" he asking looking straight into my eyes.

"Yes. You don't have any right and let me tell you, I hate your touch. I hate being close to you. I hate that kiss which we shared. I hate everything about you. Now let go off me and don't dare to touch me or my things again" I said gritting my teeth. His grip got loosen and he gave a weak smile. He took few steps back and turned to the other side.

"I'm sorry, Sanj" he said and he sounded all broken.

How is the chapter? I hope you enjoyed it. It hurts to see Sid like that. But let's see what happens next.

****unedited****

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Ramzz