From The Gig Up North

"Who's the girl? With the long hair?" "That's my friend Chrissie." I answered."...she's pretty...Brian said. An idea popped into my mind. "Maybe...maybe I could introduce you to her sometime." That brought a bit of a strange look from Brian. "I don't know..." was all he said.

There was nothing more beautiful in London than the onset of early autumn, the kind where the leaves were beginning to change from green to fiery orange, red, yellow and brown. Though it was always sad to see the summer go, autumn in London was magical. The air became crisp, almost cold at nights and the days were filled with remnants of the summer sun combined with the wisps of air that teased and hinted at the fact that November was on the way. Early autumn was a time when the open windows allowed the city to come in rather than keeping it at bay.

Chrissie Mullen and I were at my flat on a Saturday afternoon enjoying a pot of tea after our plate of pasta. I had just returned from a three-day gig with Roger that the band had played a few hours north of London. "Okay, I have to ask. I've been in your bath twice now and I can't help but notice that there isn't a single condom or condom wrapper in your bin." Chrissie said, sitting across from me once again and folding her arms. The only reason she would notice something like this is because it always creeped her out completely when she saw my leftovers in my bath.

"Mmm..." I began mid-sip into my tea before returning my cup to the table. "It's because I don't use them anymore." I said, seeing Chrissie eyes widen.

"Lydia! Are you insane!?" she scolded me.

"Relax. Relax. I'm on the pill...tellin' mother nature to shove it." I said, picking up my tea again.

"Oh god...this means you..." I interrupted Chrissie comment.

"Yes. I am a fully emerged sexual butterfly. I don't know how I've kept so damn quiet in bed for so long! My god! Now that the condom's gone you should hear how loud I can actually get. I surprised myself and Roger surprised me! I've always thought of me as far classier than the kind who...gets vocal. Oh but it is positively the hottest thing that has ever happened to me in the bedroom." I told her, reaching for my pack of cigarettes. Chrissie looked at me from across my table as if I had just scarred her for life.

"I just can't believe you aren't using condoms anymore." She gasped. "Nooooo! Does this mean you're in a...." I stopped her immediately.

"Hush. We can talk about that later. I asked you over for what we need to talk about now which is your potential relationship." I said, exhaling before. Chrissie screeched at me.

"Oh my god! You...you're in a relationship!? Shit! Is it with that guy!? Roger? The one you've told me about!?" she begged me for details.

"I told you..." I said, inhaling again. "...we'll talk about that later. I have for you, a man whom I believe you will be highly compatible." I told her, eying her in a way that I knew would make her uncomfortable.

"What? No. No. I'm not letting you do any fix ups for me. Everything I said about meeting the right man this year was all..." I cut her off.

"...going to happen for you that's what. Listen. So, I met this girl. Veronica Tetzlaff and she is a dear. I like her very much and got close to her when I went up north a little while back. She and I both agreed that it's imperative you meet the guitar player in Roger's band." I said. Chrissie gave me a stare and a sigh that already said I was done.

"You and some girl I don't even know have been analyzing me!?" she asked.

"Not you. The guy we want you to meet. He's reeeeeeeaally smaaaaarrrrrt!" I sing-songed to her knowing that would get her asking questions. She glanced up at me, shifted her gaze to the white teacup on the table, then back to me again.

"Like...like what do you mean smart?" she asked.

"He's working on a PhD in astrophysics. Real...deep shit or something like that. He has a Master's Degree and is suuuuuuper awkward. Also, he plays a guitar." I said shaking my head, continuing to work on my cigarette some more. Chrissie shook her head.

"I don't...I don't think so." She said shoving her teacup away from her.

"He's got hazel eyes and he's real sweet and soft spoken. C'mon Chrissie work with me! You're into this kind of thing!" For whatever reason, I hunkered down to my table and lowered my voice. "And my new friend Veronica says, that Freddie says he is hung like a..."

"Stop! Stop! Just stop!" Chrissie said, shaking her head. "Who the hell is Freddie!? Your new friend Veronica!? What the hell all of a sudden you have all these...these new friends in your life!? What happened to you in the past two weeks!?" she demanded.

"I started talking more about feelings and talking less about latex. Now, about the guy..." Chrissie stopped me again.

"How...who are these people you've suddenly met?" she insisted, perhaps even feeling a bit jealous. I ashed my cigarette and leaned forward on the table.

"I have a boyfriend. His name is Roger...Taylor. He is in a band. I went on a three day holiday with him to watch his band because apparently I do shit like that now. The bass player in his band is a guy named John Deacon. He has a girlfriend whom he has been in a relationship with for nearly two years. Her name is Veronica Tetzlaff. She is lovely. I like her. The singer in the band is a guy named Freddie Mercury who is quite a delightful tart. I hung out with these people while away for three days. When I wasn't having loud sex with my new boyfriend I was partying with these people and getting to know everyone. The guitar player for this band is a man just waiting to charm the pants right off of you by the name of Brian May. He's 25. And that....THAT Chrissie, is the story of all the new people I've suddenly met." I finished, impatiently awaiting her response.

"Oh...al...alright. Alright." Chrissie looked up to me and smiled with a twinkling in her eyes that I hated seeing. Anytime I saw that look I knew I was about to get grilled over something that she found endearing and sweet.

"I can't believe you have a boyfriend." She said, all smiles.

"Chrissie..." I glared at her.

"You have...a boyfriend...and you like him...a lot...I can tell!" she continued.

"Shut up." I said.

"Oh god..." reality had just hit Chrissie like a ton of bricks. "He's...like you isn't he?"

"That's not at all the point. The point is that I have a man for you that you're going to like if you would give him the chance." I reiterated. Chrissie shook her head.

"I don't know, Lydia. I can't just...I can't just see someone because you met them over the weekend.

"I did a lot more than just meet him. I got to know him. I'm tellin' you! He's into the same stupid crap you are!" I told her emphatically.

"Like?" she pressed onward. I threw my hands out, nearly dropping my cigarette.

"Feelings, starry night skies, big words, um...science? Um...not...speaking loudly? Cuddlin' up in a blanket, havin' cocoa and talkin' about math! Flowers and strange smelling colognes! I don't know! Don't you....enjoy those things in a man?" I asked, a little frustrated. Chrissie smiled.

"Do you...do you think he would like autumn picnics in the park!?" she asked excitedly.

"It depends. Is that the fast track into your pants?" I asked with a wink.

"See! No! No! I won't meet him! You know good and well I don't..." I stopped her and jammed my cigarette into my ashtray.

"Relax! I'm kiddin' I'm fuckin' kiddin'. Yes, yes he would like your picnic thing. And trust me he is gonna' need a clearly marked roadmap to your pants so you got nothin' to worry about." I said. Chrissie smirked at me.

"You're terrible do you know that?" she asked. I smiled back at her.

"So, you'll meet him? Brian? You'll meet him, yes?" Chrissie sighed at me.

"Let me think about it for a couple days." She said, slumping back in her chair as the early breeze of autumn stirred my curtains. She stared into my living room where my thick candles flickered on the mantle, releasing their smooth vanilla scent that wrapped around the lilacs on my coffee table. Chrissie breathed deeply and took in the light that showered into my flat as we sat there in my small kitchen. "It smells so nice in here. So warm and...sensual." I raised my eyebrows at Chrissie.

"Gets ya' in the mood doesn't it?" I smiled at her. Chrissie rolled her eyes at me.

"No!" she paused and shot her eyes at me. "Okay, well...maybe a little. FINE! It's such an inviting smell." She admitted. "Okay. I wanna' talk about your boyfriend now."

"No." I said bluntly.

"Alright, on a scale of one to...something inappropriate how serious are you about this guy?" she asked.

"Bloody hell! I don't know! I'm not serious about 'im!" I told her emphatically.

"But you went on the pill so somethin' musta' changed." Chrissie gasped. "Oh my god! Could this be the one!" At that point it was time for me to push out my chair and kick her out of my flat.

"That's it. You're leaving!" I said, pointing at the door.

"Noooooo! Talk to me!" she begged. I huffed as she pulled me back down.

"Have we met, Chrissie? The only things I take seriously are cigarettes and sample sales." I reminded her.

"That is NOT true! You take your gallery job very seriously! And your classes...and the guy you're seeing!" she had to add to get the final jab.

"Listen for a minute. I'm scared, okay? I'm really....really fuckin' scared. Because I do like him...Roger. I hate that I like him as much as I do. I hate that I...I want to be with a man for more than one night. You....you know I'm not good at this kind of thing. But it's comfortable and that scares me even more. I have a drawer at his flat with four pair of underwear and three shirts in it. He gave me some stupid shirt of his! That stuff scares the shit out of me because it's...it's a relationship." I told her honestly. On the flip side, it was me that needed Chrissie's advice this time around. "I don't know what I'm doing and I would...appreciate it if you'd give me some guidance." I said.

Chrissie looked at me with a combination of kindness and excitement that made me a little uncertain of where she would take my comment. She smiled, utterly delighted. "Lydia!" she began.

"Oh that's another thing." I said, before she could continue. "Roger...he just cut off half my name as if he has known me most of his life. I was Lydia to him and now I'm just Lyd."

"Um...why?" Chrissie asked as she laughed at me.

"I don't know...shit happens when you're high on coke, Chrissie." I said shaking my head. She snickered at me.

"You've gotta' stop doin' that stuff. You don't know what it does to you." she said.

"I certainly do! It cuts ya' name in two!" I said. Chrissie laughed again.

"I don't think you mind it." She said.

"I don't mind. But I mind all the other stuff. This is why I'm sitting here, begging for some of your guidance!" I reiterated to her. Chrissie giggled at me.

"Oh my god! You must really like him!"

"You're no help! Leave!" I said, pointing to the door once again.

"No! No! I'm just teasing! I'm teasing you! Lydia, there's no manual for a relationship. If you want it to work out you..." I stopped her.

"Hell! I'm not thinking about it working out! I'm thinkin' about getting to next week without wanting to strangle Roger for walking on my rug while wearing his horrible, dirty trainers!" I said.

"Lydia, do you even realize that part of being in a relationship means talking to the other person in it about things like don't wear ya' dirty trainers on my rug?" Chrissie said. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I've done really good at that kinda' stuff. I told Roger that I was crazy about him." I paused for a moment. "You should also know that I told him I wasn't opposed to being tied up." I shook my head as Chrissie stared at me. She hadn't said anything. "Jesus Christ, Chrissie! It's not like I said I like you and oooooh we should totally fuck in the back of a bus sometime! I have class! I have decency! I have..." Chrissie stopped me mid-rant.

"You have a boyfriend and you're going to have to take it down a couple notches if you want to make it to next week. Oh! Maybe....and I'm just throwin' this out there but maybe...lie beside him and tell him one thing you're afraid of." Chrissie said.

"Hey! I'm afraid of forgetting to take my pill!" I said, excitedly to Chrissie, quite pleased with myself. She laughed at me once again.

"Well, that's a start." She finally said. I watched her appear so calm about everything and yet I was about to explode from the inside out. It was far easier to help others get into relationships than it was to be in one yourself.