This isn't a Contest Entry. But, oh, it should be!

Come, Children, and I shall tell you a tale of unspeakable horror! Yes, prepare for the spinetingling onslaught of sheer terror that is a writer's journey into madness...The Quest For An Author Web Site!!!

On a dark and stormy night in July, 2023, Dannis Cole got a frightening notice in her email. "Forsooth! Google Domains will no longer suffer your website to remain upon the premises! Hie ye out to SquareSpace!"

And so, she began her dark journey. Alas, SquareSpace promises many things. But this poor writer has no coin to spend. So she renewed said domain and said, Nay! Nay, said she to the horror subscription that is the fee of SquareSpace.

Alas! She read what many couriers said were 'free' alternatives. And, she acted. [A bright flash startles you out of your wits! Thunder cracks above your head!]

She left her fated website at SquareSpace on a free account. But forsooth! She needed a host. Which turned out to be a very unholy host, that requireth said disorganized, confused Owner to log into 10XHosting once a month or there would be severe consequences.

Dannis lasted until February 2024. She was writing and failed to log in at the appointed hour. [More crashing of thunder and a lightning bolt destroys a tree near you!]

Due to high anxiety and dread, after contacting Customer Support, who was very nice, she got back March. Note that said website is still down at this point. April came, and she was writing and neglected to log in.

Fast forward to October 2024. The 25th is fast approaching now. Another fee to renew DannisWrites.com comes due. With much dread and sweaty palms, our heroine decides to flee 10X Hosting for a new place, a promised land of sweetness and light, and ease of website creation.

She tried several 'easy' places of website creation. Note that Dannis is not an expert at HTML or any of the other Internetspeaken languages of website creation.

With hope in her heart and $25.99, she settled upon [choir of angel voices] Bluehost! Who is a domain registrar AND Host.

Mwhahaahaaa! Fair Dannis pursued the folly that finally! Her website would rise from the dead! HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAA!

Eagerly she followed many instructions. Created CNAME records and @ records. In the name of mighty Bluehost!

In the meantime whilst she waited for the required propagation, she created a masterful website for WordPress. Dannis put her whole heart and soul into the project.

But, alas, Bluehost Is. Not. Easy! [Thunder is now deafening and such a roar poor Dannis cannot speak! Oh, wait. It is *Dannis* making all that noise! 

Lightning sparks from her every fingertip!]

Bluehost Chat Host advises her to go back to...SquareSpace! What?! "But--but--I have the code! The Domain Transfer Code! To whom shall I speak it?!"Thou shalt speak it to SquareSpace! The hooded figure bekons.

Dannis, bewildered, drops her cape, her beautiful deep blue as the night with the full moon shining through all these storm clouds Cape. In the mud puddle! "I bespoke the CNAME Of Bluehost! I cast the dreaded @ spell in the direction of Bluehost! Yet you command me to return to SquareSpace? I swear, here and now, I shall faint!!"

And so, dear reader, are you in abject horror yet? Dannis fears this quest shall *end* her! Will she ever raise DannisWrites.com from the dead? Shall she become a worthy Necromancer Of Dead Web Sites?!

I'm afraid this story shall have to continue on the morrow, for dread Dannis has fainteth dead away!!

I did not even regale you with the Tale Of The Murdered Mailing List by the dreaded CAN-SPAM Act which requireth a businesseth addresseth before said Author can Mail a Tale To A Prospective Reader. Alas, lack of a businesseth addresseth causeth said Author To Doxx Herself because alas, Dannis cannot afford a PO Box. Eth. She Lacketh In The Coin Department. Alas. So, the Ancient [as of 2004] CAN-SPAM felleth from the sky and struck Dannis' Prospective Mailing List and Murderth It. Actually, knowledge of this saved Dannis from Doxxation!Two Blows to the Mighty Website DannisWrites.com which displays the non-Mighty flag, the Banner Of Coming Soon.

Dannis may update this story, if the sheer horror lets her tell the tale.

Photo by Mark Stebnicki: close-up-of-cow-mouth-17765390 from PexelseBook template by BorArt on Canva