(Thomas POV)

The news had on Brenda had hit us all like a semi-fucking-truck. Especially me. We'd forgotten about the problem of us loosing our lives,we had to focus on her. She liked to be in school and she was doing quite well but her parents preferred her to stay by her bedside which we'd all visit regularly,especially Minho. He'd come everyday,but he wasn't the friend to her who'd bring flowers and get well soon cards. He'd do what he truly knew in his heart what she really wanted. He talked to her about the things she wanted to talk about,he showed her love,didn't treat her different because of her illness. Brenda loved that part of him. That Minho knew truly what to do.

Days to weeks pass on. I'd spend most of it with Sonya who knits warm jumpers and blankets for Brenda,and Newt who writes her cards and creates collages. I didn't know what I could do truly,we talked quite a lot. Every time I saw her it broke me every time.

This isn't fair.

~

It was a Friday and my final period was free,I walk back home as my phone rings. It's Brenda. I smile and pick it up.

"Hello?" I say.
"Hello Thomas," I recognise the voice instantly as her mum "We just wondered,would you come to the hospital?"
"Oh my God,is Brenda okay?"
"We think so. They're just discussing further treatment with us right now and Brenda's asleep,"

I nod and hang up as I walk in. I find her room and smile,she's awake slightly as I sit beside her. Stroking down her cheek.

"You okay?" I whisper.
"I will be," she cracks a smile "Just a little tried,"
"Then sleep. I just came to tell you everything's okay,"
"I'm glad,"
"You sleep okay Brenda?"
"I will. Tom,you'll come back soon?"
"Tomorrow. I promise," I kiss her cheek and pull the covers up to her chin. Walking out and closing the door gently as I see Minho standing there,a mixtape in his hand with her name on.

"I.. I wanted to see her," he chokes out "I also wanted to give her this tape. I made it,it's of all her favourite songs,"
"She's asleep at the moment. She's fine,it's okay,"
He sighs of relief and leans against the wall "Good,"
"Minho," I sit down beside him "You like her,don't you?"
He doesn't say anything to this.
"Minho," I repeat as he turns to me "Why won't you tell her the truth?"
"Because she matters more to me that the truth does," he tells me.
"You have to tell her. She needs to hear it right now,"
"No Thomas. She doesn't feel that way for me,I can't get involved in it. She needs to focus on getting better,"
"Minho,you're making her better! Can't you see that?"
  "Just," he wipes his eyes and hands me the tape "Give her this. Tell her I give her my best," he smiles and nods to me before walking off. I gulp and look at the cover then flip it over. He's written her a note.

Music is beautiful,just like you.
It'll be okay Brenda,you know that.

There's some of your favourites on here and some of mine,I think you'll like this one the best ;)

From Minho

I smile and walk back into her room. She's sound asleep as I place it down next to the piles of other tapes close to her. It's obvious she's listened and loved every single one.

"Minho made a new one Brenda," I smile as I read the back "There's some really good stuff on here. Some of your favourites,I think you'll like it. He really likes you Brenda,I hope you know that,how much you mean to us,to all of us. I'll stay with you." I wipe my eyes and lie next to her,falling asleep.

(Newt POV)

I sit in Minho's shed with him,we're both in utter silence.

"If you care for her,say it," I tell him "You say it. You have to,"
"Newt,she has cancer. What happens if she doesn't make it."
"She will Minho,"
"I hope you're telling me the truth,"

"You know,Brenda promised me once that she'd never ever hurt me again," he says as the tears fall down his face "and now,what happens if she has to hurt me so much so it might ever be okay again,"
"Hey Minho," I pull him into a hug as he cries into my shoulder. Holding me tight "Minho it's okay. It's not gonna be like that,"
"This isn't fair!" He yells as he kicks the wall over and over. Falling to his knees as I pull him close,he falls down panting heavily as I lie him down,grabbing a blanket and curling him up in it. I stroke his hair as I see Sonya at the door. There's tears in her eyes as she pulls out another knitted blanket and lies it over Minho,we just sit there and watch him. He just sleeps,peacefully.

"The treatments not working Newt," she whispers quietly.
"It has to. What are we supposed to tell Minho?"
"Brenda wants him there tomorrow,she's making a speech at school then the next day she's got a further stage of treatment,"
"He'll be there,"
"Good,"

Sonya this time bursts into tears at this point. I pull her to me as she lies her head in my lap.

"It's gonna work out," I whisper as I watch them both sleep.

~

We all skipped the next day. We just sat in the auditorium in silence-Me,Tommy,Minho,Sonya,Gally and a few others to hear Brenda. I had ten missed calls from Theo which sent nerve rattling through me. But the nerve seems to wash away when Brenda walks onto stage,she looks completely normal. Still with the smallest smile.

"Hi," she smiles "I'd just like to start off by saying thank you for the support I've been given by everyone here today.  When I was sitting in a Doctors office one I asked him "If I died for any reason at all,should I be scared?" He was very straight forward to me and he said that he could help people who were afraid of dying.
Now don't think of me as mean here but no one lives for entirety,unless you build some kind of time machine or break the world how it is known. Truly,I believe we're all meant to serve for something,we're built to be happy,it's just our choices and actions which sometimes hold us back. Then life comes in,life is like a sexually transmitted illness,spread by people having sex,then in the end it kills you. You think you know death, but you don't, not until you've seen it, really seen it. Then it gets under your skin and it lives inside you. You also think you know life, you stand on the edge of things and watch it go by but you're not living it, not really. You're just a tourist, a ghost, then you see it, really see it. Then it gets under your skin and lives inside you and there's no escape. There's nothing to be done and you know what, it's good. It's a good thing and that's all I have to say about it. We'll all be okay. We're who we need to be. Creators of our own story,our choice in the matter. Sorry it's short,but.. What else am I meant to say?"

Before she can say anything else she drops the microphone and runs off. Minho sprints after as I squeeze Tommy's hand tightly.

(Minho POV)

"Brenda!" I yell as I run around the halls until I see her sitting there on the roof. Not to jump,just to admire. I sigh and climb up with her,sitting down.

"Your speech was really good," I smile.
"Thanks," she smiles as she rests her head on my shoulder "I have to go back to the hospital now,but I don't want to. I really really don't,"
"I'll stay with you. Tonight,tomorrow,I promise," I kiss her forehead.
"There just double checking everything " she explains "I think anyway,hen I'll spend a few days in there and I'll be able to come back to school."
"That sounds good. Come on,I'll take you to the Hospital,it'll be okay," 

I squeeze her cold hand and we walk to her parents car,they drive slowly as I walk with her in. They allow me to stay with her as I help her out of her clothes and I place her in the warm bath,washing her beautiful body gently as I help her out,drying her gently as she just smiles at me. I smile back and slide the hospital gown over her body. Lying her down as I sit beside her,holding her small hands in mine. 

"When I get out I wanna stay in the shed with you," she whispers.
I smile and kiss her forehead "You can,"
"Thanks Minho,"

"Brenda." We turn round to see a nurse. She smiles "Your parents are in the room all ready,do you want your friend to come with you too?"

"I really do," she whispers as I help her out. Wrapping her arms around me even through she was strong enough. We walk to a room with an ex-ray machine. She lies down and I squeeze onto her hand,a blue bib on me and same as her parents.

It begins to start as she squeezes her eyes shut,panting as her hand stay on mine.

"Hands in please," the nurse tells her.
"Minho.." She pants.
"It's okay,Brenda it's okay." I choke out "You need to let go of my hand," she does as I tell her "See? Just relax,you have to stay quiet,"

She obeys as she looks so peaceful. I turn to her parents who just smile at me.

"Thank you," her dad smiles as he holds tight onto his wife. They're both crying quite silently.

I nod and bite my lip to stop the tears as I lean against the wall. Just watching her brought everything back,everything she meant to me. I wasn't exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started. All I knew for sure was that right here and now, I was falling hard and I could only pray that she was feeling the same way.