Carleigh arrived back at her apartment extremely late. She'd walked Lana back to her apartment to make sure that James wasn't stalking her. She'd promised Jazzy.

She flopped down on her bed and checked the groupchat, which was a mess of 'Have a good Christmas!' and 'Any ideas for James' replacement'?

There was a knock on her door and Carleigh rolled off the bed and bounded to the living room to answer it. She wasn't sure who it was.

She peered through the peephole and instantly swung open the door.

"RENEE!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you, too, Carleigh," Renee laughed. "I thought I'd drop by and chat, and celebrate, too. If you're not busy or tired."

"No, I'm so glad that you're here!" Carleigh said happily. "Why aren't you with Pippa though?"

"You're equally as important as Pippa," Renee told her. "You matter to me just as much, and I feel like I haven't had a chance to talk to you in a long time. I'll see her, too, don't worry."

Carleigh hugged her friend. "Thank you, Renee."

"So how's the tour?"

Carleigh cleared her throat awkwardly. "It's alright," she said finally. Renee frowned.

"Are you sure?"

Carleigh brushed her hair out of her face. "I'm just... I'm starting to think that I'm not good enough. I don't know... like somehow I'm not meeting everyone's expectations and I'm letting the cast down, and I don't know if they want me to leave, or they're going to fire me... I'm just so scared, and sad, and I don't know. Maybe I don't belong anymore."

Renee wrapped her arms around Carleigh. "Sweetie, you're one of the most talented dancers in the Hamilton Tour. Anything that they've told you is out of stress. There is no way on earth that they'd fire you. You hold the ensemble together, you're the one that the others look up to. I can see it, you just need to see it, too."

"It doesn't feel like it. It feels like Daveed doesn't like me anymore, and all he does is criticize me. He told me that it was the worst dancing he'd ever seen. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, and it's so hard," Carleigh said, tears dripping down her face.

"Carleigh, listen to me. Do you really think that you'd still be in the cast if they didn't think you were pulling your weight? You're such a talented actress. You never need to worry. Whatever was said to you, it's not true. Believe me."

"It just hurts so much, and I feel like... I don't know, it just feels like no one cares enough to notice."

"You cannot ever think that, Carleigh Bettiol. Do you know how many times Thayne brings you up in conversation? And Pippa and Jazzy think of you as a sister. You're like their extra Eliza. Oak and Daveed- they think of you like a sister, and they're so protective. You don't notice the things they do for you because you don't see how amazing you truly are. You're searching for your flaws when all everyone else sees how much you shine," Renee told her. "I honestly believe that you have the talent to go on and lead the tour cast on the second rotation, and you'd have the choice of whichever Schuyler Sister you ever wanted."

Carleigh wiped her eyes. "Really?"

"Really," Renee said gently. "You have so much potential, and you are truly one of my favorite people."

"Thank you, Renee. I really needed that," Carleigh said.

"Of course. Anything for you," Renee replied. "Anyway, I was thinking- would you want to go ice skating with me?"

"Um, sure? That's kind of random, but yeah," Carleigh asked, frowning. "I'd love to, but it doesn't seem like a very 'Renee Elise Goldsberry' thing to do."

"Well, I'll learn," Renee laughed. "And I want to spend time with my favorite ensemblist."

"You know you're not supposed to pick favorites," Carleigh laughed.

"I know, but you're still my favorite. Don't tell everyone else. As much as I love them all, you're just the sweetest."

"I'm glad that I've won the stamp of approval from Renee Elise Goldsberry," Carleigh teased. "When do you want to go?"

"We can go now!" Renee exclaimed excitedly. Carleigh gave Renee a strange look.

"Prepare for defeat, then," she said.

"We can go for coffee afterwards," Renee added.

"Alright, your wish is my command," Carleigh said. "Lead the way."

~~~~~
They got to the skating rink and rented their skates. Carleigh put hers on with practiced ease. She hadn't been an ice skater, necessarily, but all the time spent living in New York City mean that she'd had plenty of opportunities to learn.

"I can't believe you're not a prodigy ice skater," Carleigh teased Renee as her friend struggled to lace her skates.

"Not all of us have endless time on our hands," Renee shot back.

"Why do you skate like you're running out of time," Carleigh sung.

"Oh, Carleigh," Renee laughed. She finally managed to stand up and make her way towards the ice. As soon as she took her first step onto the ice, she started wobbling.

"Renee, you don't even have two feet on the ice and you still look like you're going to fall over," Carleigh said. "Does Renee Elise Goldsberry need a walker already?"

"Oh, shut up, Carleigh, I'm not that much older than you."

"When I was born, you were having your sweet sixteen. I think that's a lot older, actually," Carleigh retorted.

Renee managed to move two feet past the entranceway to the rink, whereas Carleigh was doing her 'Yorktown' spin a little ways ahead.

"I thought you said you weren't an ice skater," Renee complained.

"I'm not," Carleigh replied. "I just practiced. A lot. Because the single life is very... single."

"Oh, Carleigh," Renee laughed. "This is why you're my favorite."

~~~~~~~~~~

there's a new chapter because i lowkey don't remember the last time i posted and i'm lazy sooo here you go